5 ways to boost your Sex Life after pregnancy!

Pregnancy is one of the most challenging times in the life of any couple. While in many cases it helps to increase the emotional bond in many others it also can create a lot of tension and negativity. Thou there are many causes for pregnancy leading to negativity and tension, one of the major reasons for such is the lack of healthy sex. 

It has to be understood that Sex is one of the essential instincts. It’s not just an orgasm providing exercise but in a committed relationship it’s the most powerful physical expression of trust, care and love between the two individuals. 

And as the practical phrase says, “actions speak more than words”, unsatisfactory sexual life leads to decreased meaning of words, lack of trust, decreased love and increased negativity between the partners.

Pregnancy is one such time when many partners chose to abstain from regular sexual activity, leading to sexual dissatisfaction and increased stress.

Over the last few years I have seen that modern Indian couples don’t mind having an open discussion on this issue. They recognize how sexual tension is transforming into relationship stress, and they don’t mind consulting professionals to help them out with the same. 

I have had hundreds of couples who have consulted me regarding this issue. Hereby I give you 5 techniques that both partners need to en-act to re-ignite the fire and fun in your sexual life after pregnancy-

1.      Let cupid strike again.
Commonest Mistake that new Parents make is to focus all their energies into parenthood.

While most excel in learning the nuances of parenthood, many drift apart as soul-mates. Remember that Child is not going anywhere, but the love between you two might.
1^st rule – Since you have been focusing on pregnancy and childbirth it’s time to remind yourself about love on both emotional and physical plane.

a.       It’s essential to continuously gift each other with a special thank you note,  surprise gift, sms or phone call mentioning how he/she is a great partner, great lover and source of love in your life.

b.      Well placed touching, kisses and hugs to physically show what you emotionally mean.

2.      If the Flame is ON, don’t think, do it

Second mistake that new parents do is to “voluntarily” keep Sex on the back burner. The moment they start getting comfortable with each other, start getting aroused and feel like getting down to business, the thought of the child strikes and puts a break to all activity.
Imagine If your favourite food was in front of you, and as you approach to eat it, even before you could touch it someone just threw it away. Your subconscious mind would burst into negativity with feelings like anger, sadness, irritation, etc. The same just magnified many thousand times happens when you get aroused for sex and suddenly withdraw.

2^nd rule – If you are aroused, do it.

The demands of the child might not permit you a full hour or hour and half session but that doesn’t stop you from enjoying a quick 5min nooky.  Keeping this in mind, time management as in when the baby is taking a nap, early morning before he/she wakes up, or in the during his afternoon nap have to be devised.

3.      The bed is no longer “yours”

The great majority of couples are conditioned to have sex on the bed. With the arrival of the baby, the mind quickly adjusts to perceive the bed as a place to rest, sleep or take care of the baby. The image of the bed being “your private place” or “your sanctuary for love” is slowly erased from conscious self.

3^rd rule- Become an explorer. Leave the bed and consider other places for love making. Store room, guest room, sofa, couch, table-top, the possibilities are infinite if you look for them.

4.      Get out of your Aunty/Uncle Mode.

It’s a universal truth that “The mind loves what appeals to the eyes”. This truth is relevant from the moment of birth to moment of death.
Many couples think that parenthood is the last step in personal development. They stop caring about their physical self. Using the child as an excuse the explore the earlier forbidden territories of gorging into food and drink, decreased physical activity and decreased personal grooming. Slowly the physical attraction between partners starts drifting away.

4^th rule – Parenthood is not an excuse to become ugly. Take small steps and keep yourself physically fit and groom yourself properly. Don’t use the child as an excuse to stop you from getting new clothes, new hair cut, or remain fashionable.

Keeping your physical appeal helps improve your love and sex life post pregnancy.

 

 5.      Talk.
One of the main reasons for lack of sex drive post pregnancy is the lack of communication between partners. While one might be exhausted from taking care of the baby, the other might be exhausted from thinking about the baby’s future.  The most soothing balm for this exhaustion is talking.

5^th Rule – Talk. Every day for 30min make sure that you communicate with each other.  Don’t fight or have arguments, but communicate. Talk on topics of common interest, talk on each other’s feelings/emotions/fears/apprehensions about the future. Listen to each other. Even if you have hundred of opinions about each thing he/she says, develop habit of listening.

There is nothing more power than effective communication to re-ignite the desire to be in each other’s arms and make love like never before.

“BE HAPPY”

Thanks for reading

Dr.Hemant Mittal (MBBS,PGDPM, MBPS, MD(mindmantra))

Motivational Speaker - Mind Trainer –

Emotional, Behavioral, Sleep, Memory and Sexual Health Consultant at Mind Mantra.

www.mindmantra.in

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