Until or unless you are not suffering from a Personality Disorder, your personality is a flexible.
A child when goes to school, changes his personality to adjust to the school.. The same child, adjusts it again when he goes to college as an adolescent.. then as a young adult in Job.. and then as an adult in marriage/parenthood, etc.
Accepting change is one of the major needs of Personality Development... And its the process of accepting this change which is called as adjustment..
Adjustment is not always easy, and when gone wrong, can lead to 24hr hyperactive mind full of negativity and restlessness.
Here are 4 common mental strategies used to positively absorb the stress of adjustment -
1. People Centric : - the key here is making people happy... The happier people in your surrounding, the more acceptable you are.
Most people invest their time, money and even ego to keep others happy.
This is the most common strategy followed by most...
One needs to be extremely pro-active and keep his/her ego down for this strategy to be successful.
Else it can create a negative feeling of being cheated.
2. Aura Creation - This strategy revolves around creating an Grand Aura or Grand Image about yourself.
People are either fascinated, attracted or scared of this "great image".
Hence one gets to adjust into a situation by attracting those "like-minded" people, who have similar images... or those who are fascinated by it.
It includes heavy investment in your dressing style, talking style, cell phones, cars/bikes and other accessories uses.
Youngsters are specially fond of such a strategy.
Drawbacks - if one is "faking" to create such an image, the lie can go beyond his/her control... and it can create serious social and legal problems.
most common example of this strategy is its use by Actors, "fake Godmen", Politicians and Manipulators to fascinate people.
3. Letting your Work Speak - the key is to keep being natural.. being yourself.. and letting others recognise your good and bad personality traits.
Those who like you, will be attracted towards you... and those who don't will go away..
Most people avoid this strategy. - It requires a lot of patience and decreased ego levels.
One has to be content in his self, not thinking much about the difficulties he/she is put through.
The main drawback - such people can become very lonely, because they are might keep expecting appreciation for a long time. By the time appreciation comes, they are so engulfed in sadness that they don't care about it.
4. Me and Now approach - this strategy revolves around personal happiness.
One isn't concerned about others.. He/she looks at means of fulfilling personal needs.
Hereby new friendships are made and broken without any regrets or thoughts.. One is doesn't overthink.
A person invests all his energies and money in improving his present moment.
One can be very direct in asking questions or answering questions. This can make other uncomfortable.
Drawbacks - people are scared of their frankness and direct approach to things... Its difficult to "over-power" them, and they will move away from a situation without thinking twice.
ALL 4 ARE GREAT STRATEGIES.. IT CANNOT BE JUDGED IF ONE IS BETTER THAN THE OTHER.. AS EACH STRATEGY IS MEANT FOR A SPECIFIC TYPE OF PERSONALITY.
ONE HAS TO CHOSE AND WORK UPON THE ONE THAT IS NATURALLY ACCEPTABLE TO YOUR SYSTEM.
WHEN ONE TRIES TO GO AGAINST YOUR NATURAL PERSONALITY, YOU WILL EXPERIENCE A LOT OF IRRITATION, ANGER AND FRUSTRATION.
by -
Dr.Hemant Mittal
(Psychiatrist and Counselor)
email – eksoch@gmail.com
website – www.mindmantra.in
address- 15, shreeji plaza, next to ice n spice restaurant, opposite seawoods station, seawoods (east)
Navi Mumbai
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