Relationships are beautiful.. but at the same time they require a lot of understanding.
The one relationship that requires the maximum adjustment and understanding is marriage.
As per human nature, everyone tries to "mould" the behavior and thoughts of their partner... While this "moulding" might be healthy and loving at times, it can also take the dangerous shape of Mind Games.
A natural adaptation of most human personalities is that they all learn some degree of Mind Games.
While some are very good at playing the same, others are really poor.
Mind Games easy or natural way to deal with a difficult issue or to have things the way you want them, but in the long run, it isn't. They are hurtful and damaging to your marriage/relationship... As they will fuel your ego and subconsciously promote dishonesty while masking true love.
Most common Mind Games Strategies include -
· Inducing Shame or guild
· Crying/Tears
· sex - withholding sex or excessive demand for sex.
· Guilt.
· Emotional Withdrawal - being silent or lack of communication for long periods.
· Temper tantrums
· Threats and ultimatums
· Lying.
· Severe Criticism and disapproval.
· Showing exaggerated disappointment.
· Withholding information.
Reasons why Mind Games are played -
· To control and dominate a particular situation.
· To change the spouse behaviors as per one's own belief.
· To get attention.
· To receive sympathy
· To show the spouse down, and not let him/her be "more"
confident.
· To create a false sense of superiority.
· For selfish motives.
Are Mind Games Healthy?
Mind Games can be used both positively and negatively in a relationship
Positively when they are meant to help your partner come out of sadness, restlessness and fear.
When practiced very controlled way they can induce positivity through action of love.
When they become a common behavior pattern used for EGO satisfaction, they lead to Negative Consequences like -
· Dissatisfaction.
· Frustration.
· Defensiveness.
· Resentment.
· Hurt.
· Lack of trust.
· Discontent.
· Parting ways.
How to battle Negatives of Mind Games -
· Most people can Recognize when their spouse is trying to manipulate them... Most people decide to keep quiet and go with the flow, which becomes problematic for the long term relationship.
Its important one openly tells the other, where he/she is going wrong.
· Tell your spouse when you experience being manipulated by Mind games... Be specific in describing the manipulation and your feelings.
· Be direct in your questions or statements.
· If the manipulation in your marriage continues, find a marriage counselor/psychiatrist whom both of you consult.
Its important for both to consult, as that ways it gives the counselor a neutral idea on how to tackle the situation.
A great philosopher once said - : "The worst mind game ever is the one were one spouse tries to control the other... because its using the beautiful power of the brain to tell the other - You will do as I want, else you will suffer"... This behavior destroys the entire personality and individuality of both spouses and leads to extreme sadness".
(This is edited, adapted and some of my professional inputs added to an original psychological research forwarded to me by a very nice forum member.. My gratitude for the same.)
by -
Dr.Hemant Mittal (MBBS, DPM, MD(mindmantra))
(Psychiatrist, Motivational Writer and Counselor)
online counseling -
email – eksoch@gmail.com
website – www.mindmantra.in
personal counseling -
clinic address- 15, shreeji plaza, next to ice n spice restaurant, opposite seawoods station, seawoods (east)
Navi Mumbai
The one relationship that requires the maximum adjustment and understanding is marriage.
As per human nature, everyone tries to "mould" the behavior and thoughts of their partner... While this "moulding" might be healthy and loving at times, it can also take the dangerous shape of Mind Games.
A natural adaptation of most human personalities is that they all learn some degree of Mind Games.
While some are very good at playing the same, others are really poor.
Mind Games easy or natural way to deal with a difficult issue or to have things the way you want them, but in the long run, it isn't. They are hurtful and damaging to your marriage/relationship... As they will fuel your ego and subconsciously promote dishonesty while masking true love.
Most common Mind Games Strategies include -
· Inducing Shame or guild
· Crying/Tears
· sex - withholding sex or excessive demand for sex.
· Guilt.
· Emotional Withdrawal - being silent or lack of communication for long periods.
· Temper tantrums
· Threats and ultimatums
· Lying.
· Severe Criticism and disapproval.
· Showing exaggerated disappointment.
· Withholding information.
Reasons why Mind Games are played -
· To control and dominate a particular situation.
· To change the spouse behaviors as per one's own belief.
· To get attention.
· To receive sympathy
· To show the spouse down, and not let him/her be "more"
confident.
· To create a false sense of superiority.
· For selfish motives.
Are Mind Games Healthy?
Mind Games can be used both positively and negatively in a relationship
Positively when they are meant to help your partner come out of sadness, restlessness and fear.
When practiced very controlled way they can induce positivity through action of love.
When they become a common behavior pattern used for EGO satisfaction, they lead to Negative Consequences like -
· Dissatisfaction.
· Frustration.
· Defensiveness.
· Resentment.
· Hurt.
· Lack of trust.
· Discontent.
· Parting ways.
How to battle Negatives of Mind Games -
· Most people can Recognize when their spouse is trying to manipulate them... Most people decide to keep quiet and go with the flow, which becomes problematic for the long term relationship.
Its important one openly tells the other, where he/she is going wrong.
· Tell your spouse when you experience being manipulated by Mind games... Be specific in describing the manipulation and your feelings.
· Be direct in your questions or statements.
· If the manipulation in your marriage continues, find a marriage counselor/psychiatrist whom both of you consult.
Its important for both to consult, as that ways it gives the counselor a neutral idea on how to tackle the situation.
A great philosopher once said - : "The worst mind game ever is the one were one spouse tries to control the other... because its using the beautiful power of the brain to tell the other - You will do as I want, else you will suffer"... This behavior destroys the entire personality and individuality of both spouses and leads to extreme sadness".
(This is edited, adapted and some of my professional inputs added to an original psychological research forwarded to me by a very nice forum member.. My gratitude for the same.)
by -
Dr.Hemant Mittal (MBBS, DPM, MD(mindmantra))
(Psychiatrist, Motivational Writer and Counselor)
online counseling -
email – eksoch@gmail.com
website – www.mindmantra.in
personal counseling -
clinic address- 15, shreeji plaza, next to ice n spice restaurant, opposite seawoods station, seawoods (east)
Navi Mumbai
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