Tony came to visit me for "personality development tips". During our chat, his fear of taking responsibility constantly kept blocking any advise I would give him.
His mind was constantly puzzled, what if I make a mistake??
The need for perfection, the errors of the past or even the lack of self-confidence stop us from venturing into new pleasurable experiences.
Another common examples which I get to counsel are :
- lack of effective communication, makes many run away from a relationship and seek solace in someone else. Fear of being responsible for a break-up or fear of being responsible to speak the truth, many such tend to blame their partners for pushing them into seeking outside comfort.
- losing weight is so difficult - because taking responsibility of self is something everyone has millions of excuses for... you have become so comfortable enjoying food, that venturing into the unknown world of gyming or losing weight is "pain causing".
- At job, many people are scared of getting promotions beyond a level, because they fear decision making will tarnish their image.
Job, home, self, relationships... taking responsibility triggers unwanted stress which you run away by giving a lot of explanations to the self.
Common behavior patterns fear of responsibility introduces in your personality -
1. You become uncomfortable or restless when an important decision has to be taken.
2. You tend to apologize more than required. Even for things you are not involved in.
3. You keep forgiving people who are repeatedly making mistakes.. you avoid implementing discipline.
4. You take it as your duty to sacrifice yourself for others, and give yourself a lot of excuses for "pleasing" others.
5. When exposed to a sudden challenge your first reaction is of “Fright” and second is of "flight".. you look to run away from a situation.
6. You try to be in everyone’s good books.
7. You constantly lose sleep, worrying about self and others.
8. Your mind is flooded with flashbacks of negative things others have done to you, and that for decision making it not rational.
9. You harbour guilt for not having acted in time. And feel everything is lost.
10. You compare your life with those who are inferior to you, just because you are envious with those superior to you.
11. You fear Meeting a senior or someone in a higher position.
12. You need a guide or someone who can take decision for you at all times.
2. You tend to apologize more than required. Even for things you are not involved in.
3. You keep forgiving people who are repeatedly making mistakes.. you avoid implementing discipline.
4. You take it as your duty to sacrifice yourself for others, and give yourself a lot of excuses for "pleasing" others.
5. When exposed to a sudden challenge your first reaction is of “Fright” and second is of "flight".. you look to run away from a situation.
6. You try to be in everyone’s good books.
7. You constantly lose sleep, worrying about self and others.
8. Your mind is flooded with flashbacks of negative things others have done to you, and that for decision making it not rational.
9. You harbour guilt for not having acted in time. And feel everything is lost.
10. You compare your life with those who are inferior to you, just because you are envious with those superior to you.
11. You fear Meeting a senior or someone in a higher position.
12. You need a guide or someone who can take decision for you at all times.
what is the Mind Mantra for responsibility - IF IT HAS TO BE DONE, DO IT NOW.. FEAR MIGHT NEVER LEAVE YOU, BUT TILL YOU DON'T TAKE A PLUNGE INTO THE UNKNOWN YOU WILL JUST SPECULATE WHAT YOU NEED TO BATTLE.
written by -
Dr.Hemant Mittal (MBBS, DPM, MD(mindmantra))
(Psychiatrist, Motivational Writer and Counselor)
(Psychiatrist, Motivational Writer and Counselor)
email – eksoch@gmail.com
website – www.mindmantra.in
website – www.mindmantra.in
clinic address- 15, shreeji plaza, next to ice n spice restaurant, opposite seawoods station, seawoods (east)
Navi Mumbai
Navi Mumbai
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