ME over YOU is one of the most common "mind games" played in a relationship.
One of the most common issues I tackle during counseling sessions is "decreased female confidence and decreased sexual performance".
If we concentrate on basic personal needs... Every man and woman who is in a relationship, will understand that "confidence and sexual performance" are essential for self-happiness and success of the relationship.
How is confidence linked to decreased sexual performance?
1. Fear of Vulnerability
In certain orthodox societies like the Indian, women learn to enjoy or indulge in happiness secretly. From wearing clothes they like, to make up, shopping and even eating/drinking whatever they want is done secretly either alone or in the company of female friends, out of the fear of being judged by male members of the society.
If there is so much of vulnerability and emotional risk of being free in the society regarding basic happiness, just magnify the fear related to sex.
Being naked in front of a man, enjoying your body, enjoying his body and enjoying the entire act of sex is a very fearful experience for many.
At the time of achieving an orgasm, you are completely detached from the world.. You are in extreme bliss... you are even detached form your partner who is hardly few inches away from you... This is a very personal experience... But for a fearful mind, its very difficult to enjoy this moment.
2. The ghost of Porn
Most men who see porn are used to women shouting and screaming in pleasure from the start of the activity till the end.
To satisfy this myth, many women whose partners "educated them about sex" while watching a porn or adult movie, put up an "award winning fake performance" in bed.
Confident women don't mind stopping their partners and educating them on the "right moves". They put things in such perspective that their male partners actually enjoy the experimentation and don't feel "downgraded".
less confident women just fake or keep quiet during the sexual activity, hence within their mind, creating a negative image of the activity and their partner.
3. Demanding the "extra push".
Many guys don't have the sexual stamina as their female partners.
They just finish their "work" and move out.
Confident women encourage their partners to seek help and come out of it, so they can also achieve a climax.
women lower on confidence or fearful tend to keep quiet and take it as their "faith"... many a times they spend decades before experiencing the ecstasy of an actual orgasm.
4. Masturbation and oral sex.
Majority of woman accept that they achieve better orgasms through masturbation and oral sex.
The reason...
a. its quiet - while porn movies are all about women shouting and groaning.. actually majority of women enjoy silent sex.. they love to feel the ecstasy into their being.. sounds disrupt that pleasure.
b. expectations - many women love masturbation or oral sex because they don't have to live upto the expectations or be judged.
in both cases, their own pleasure is being taken care of.
THE SAD REALITY -
Most men (specially among indian society) are fearful of confident women.
They feel dominated and fear losing the "control" on the relationship.
They feel that a confident woman will have lesser dependance on them, and this will decrease their importance in her life.
They try to manipulate the situation in their favor by decreasing the female confidence levels. Many use criticism, others induce fear and others resort to anger outbursts.
BEHAVIORAL Studies HAVE FOUND OUT - that actually confident women who are nurtured with adequate levels of love, trust and independence are actually many fold loyal, loving and attached to their partners.
For further assistance on this topic, you can CONTACT ME (all conversations are kept CONFIDENTIAL) -
Dr.Hemant Mittal
(Psychiatrist,Motivational Writer/Speaker and Counselor)
email - eksoch@gmail.com
website - http://mindmantra.in/services.html
or visit my wellness clinic @-
address- 15, shreeji plaza, next to ice n spice restaurant, opposite seawoods station, seawoods (east)
Navi Mumbai
One of the most common issues I tackle during counseling sessions is "decreased female confidence and decreased sexual performance".
If we concentrate on basic personal needs... Every man and woman who is in a relationship, will understand that "confidence and sexual performance" are essential for self-happiness and success of the relationship.
How is confidence linked to decreased sexual performance?
1. Fear of Vulnerability
In certain orthodox societies like the Indian, women learn to enjoy or indulge in happiness secretly. From wearing clothes they like, to make up, shopping and even eating/drinking whatever they want is done secretly either alone or in the company of female friends, out of the fear of being judged by male members of the society.
If there is so much of vulnerability and emotional risk of being free in the society regarding basic happiness, just magnify the fear related to sex.
Being naked in front of a man, enjoying your body, enjoying his body and enjoying the entire act of sex is a very fearful experience for many.
At the time of achieving an orgasm, you are completely detached from the world.. You are in extreme bliss... you are even detached form your partner who is hardly few inches away from you... This is a very personal experience... But for a fearful mind, its very difficult to enjoy this moment.
2. The ghost of Porn
Most men who see porn are used to women shouting and screaming in pleasure from the start of the activity till the end.
To satisfy this myth, many women whose partners "educated them about sex" while watching a porn or adult movie, put up an "award winning fake performance" in bed.
Confident women don't mind stopping their partners and educating them on the "right moves". They put things in such perspective that their male partners actually enjoy the experimentation and don't feel "downgraded".
less confident women just fake or keep quiet during the sexual activity, hence within their mind, creating a negative image of the activity and their partner.
3. Demanding the "extra push".
Many guys don't have the sexual stamina as their female partners.
They just finish their "work" and move out.
Confident women encourage their partners to seek help and come out of it, so they can also achieve a climax.
women lower on confidence or fearful tend to keep quiet and take it as their "faith"... many a times they spend decades before experiencing the ecstasy of an actual orgasm.
4. Masturbation and oral sex.
Majority of woman accept that they achieve better orgasms through masturbation and oral sex.
The reason...
a. its quiet - while porn movies are all about women shouting and groaning.. actually majority of women enjoy silent sex.. they love to feel the ecstasy into their being.. sounds disrupt that pleasure.
b. expectations - many women love masturbation or oral sex because they don't have to live upto the expectations or be judged.
in both cases, their own pleasure is being taken care of.
THE SAD REALITY -
Most men (specially among indian society) are fearful of confident women.
They feel dominated and fear losing the "control" on the relationship.
They feel that a confident woman will have lesser dependance on them, and this will decrease their importance in her life.
They try to manipulate the situation in their favor by decreasing the female confidence levels. Many use criticism, others induce fear and others resort to anger outbursts.
BEHAVIORAL Studies HAVE FOUND OUT - that actually confident women who are nurtured with adequate levels of love, trust and independence are actually many fold loyal, loving and attached to their partners.
For further assistance on this topic, you can CONTACT ME (all conversations are kept CONFIDENTIAL) -
Dr.Hemant Mittal
(Psychiatrist,Motivational Writer/Speaker and Counselor)
email - eksoch@gmail.com
website - http://mindmantra.in/services.html
or visit my wellness clinic @-
address- 15, shreeji plaza, next to ice n spice restaurant, opposite seawoods station, seawoods (east)
Navi Mumbai
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