Living between the Dance of Love and Lust

Few days ago a, the Supreme Court gave a judgment, which will now allow Dance Bars to re-open within the entire state of Maharashtra.

Within hours of the judgement, the entire world seemed to be discussing it.

While Whatsapp was flooded with jokes...
Twitter and Facebook had a major discussion going on between the moral social implications of the same.

Yesterday, while enjoying the Mumbai Monsoon and a good cup of tea at the local cafe coffee day outlet. I experienced how a group of friends sitting next to me, suddenly changed from a jovial happy mood, to a serious discussion about the "good" and "bad" of Dance Bars.

A fierce debate that eventually became an ego battle.

I heard them angrily destroy and assassinate the character of a "dance bar dancer"...

Slowly the discussion became so full of hate, that everything was blamed on the "dancer". She was called with ugly names and made into the devil who is destroying our culture.

Here I was hearing "moralistic india" talk loud dirt about their own women... So hate loaded did the environment become, that I had to leave my tea in between and walk away.

As I walked back to the clinic, there was a question that wondered in my head... I saw a multitude of woman... at the bus, at the train station, on the roads, at the shops...
And I wondered, any of these women could be a bar dancer... and everyone just treated them so normally.

As soon as anyone of them would wear their "heavy duty makeup" and "performance clothes".. the very people who are walking by them, who are selling them goods, who are nicely talking to them... will start yelling, calling them "evil".. calling them different synonyms of "prostitute".. blaming them for the deterioration of "indian culture".

At the clinic, while taking a break in-between counseling sessions, I had a sad feeling inside of me... A feeling which last time I had experienced more than 5 years ago...

5yrs ago, a woman had called me for an appointment. Speaking in nice english and very nicely dressed... she was every bit a middle class indian lady with her child.

During the counseling session that she told me that she worked as a bar dancer, who did go that extra-mile ahead for the money.

She had come to my clinic for her 12yr old child.
A kid who openly knew about his mothers profession, didn't know who his father was, but was extremely motivated to become a doctor.

Having seen the effects of physical abuse against her mother by "her clients"... the kid had developed a severe worry, that one day she might not return from work.
It was a normal to be worried... Every child worries about their parents, this child's worry would have been more because he had seen the mother had bruise marks, bite marks and even a black eye.

But the "friends" he had confided into, had told him, this is because your mother is a bad woman who has chosen such a horrendous profession.

The child did need medicine for his problem... and it worked great for him.

In the last appointment she had taken... she said.. can I say something doctor.

i said - sure go ahead.

she said - "you know, I didn't choose this profession... The profession chose me... I don't want to seek sympathy on how I was drugged, raped and trapped into this profession...
I don't want to seek sympathy for I was a good student who could have created a career in a BPO and maked a decent living...
I don't want to seek sympathy for how men use and abuse me every day...
Every day when we pray to god before the bar opens... I thank god... I am so strong and practical that I can handle anything... because today i have conquered my body, mind and my emotional pain.

I just have a small dream.... I have gone to US and saw how even their porn stars get lot of fans and respect.
I had gone to Amsterdam, and I saw how the prostitutes over there are proudly flaunting themselves.
I just dream one day, people will not judge us... We are so strong that we can take all the blame they put on us... but why judge us, when everyone is part of creating me and thousands of my sisters."

I AM NOR IN FAVOR OF DANCE BARS NOR I AM AGAINST THEM.
FOR ME, EVERYONE HAS THEIR OWN RIGHT TO CHOOSE SIDES.

BUT I DO SINCERELY BELIEVE THAT EVERY SINGLE HUMAN BEING DESERVES LOVE AND RESPECT.

MAYBE ONE DAY... "MORALISTIC INDIA" WILL LOVE AND RESPECT ITS OWN... BECAUSE RIGHTLY AS THAT LADY TOLD ME... WE ALL ARE COLLECTIVELY RESPONSIBLE FOR CREATION OF THE GOOD AND THE BAD THAT SURROUNDS US.

Thanks for reading, your queries are welcome @-

Dr.Hemant Mittal
(Psychiatrist,Motivational Writer/Speaker and Counselor)

email - eksoch@gmail.com
website - http://mindmantra.in/services.html

personal consultation @-
address- Mind Mantra wellness clinic
Shop 15, shreeji plaza, next to ice n spice restaurant,
opposite seawoods station,
seawoods (east)
Navi Mumbai - 400706