Sundar (name changed) is a 26yr old Doctor who is facing extreme Relationship problems... A simple emotional guy, he has not been able to understand his wife, and is constantly fighting how to keep her happy.
Priya (name changed) is a 34yrs old house wife who is battling the ideas of a divorce... She was married 4yrs ago, and her husband is everything a girl needs for happiness.. Well "settled", good reputation and no addictions... But her problem, he never stands by his decisions.. .
The above are just 2 of the hundreds of people I have met facing the great problem of "Horrendously wrong Communication" in a relationship.
TAKE LOOK INTO YOUR LIFE, YOU'LL REALIZE HOW SOMETIME EVEN YOU HAVE SUFFERED FROM THIS PROBLEM....
PRACTICALLY SPEAKING ITS IMPOSSIBLE TO BE "STRAIGHT FORWARD" ALL THE TIME... MOST OF THE TIME PEOPLE ARE TRYING TO MANIPULATE THE SITUATION.
Some of the common behaviors, which when done in excess send extremely wrong signals, leading to destruction of the basic core of a relationship - "Trust".
a. Lying - in particular when done to to hide your fears... this will lead to frustrations, as your "trust" quotient will decrease with time.
b. Manipulation - using the "love" a person has for you, to divert his/her mind process towards your own ideology. Henceforth making them more dependent and destroying their core personality.
One act can change dependency into negativity. And this can make one understands how much he/she has been "manipulated" to un-naturally move against their own personality.
Everyone has a particular personality, "natural" self means, it has to manifest itself.. And manipulators don't let that happen, they divert it.
c. excess demanding - always having a new demand, will make your partner become frustrated and loose trust in you. As after a time, the partner will feel taken for granted.
d. Suspicion - If you are constantly asking questions and explanation to "know" or have "control" on the activities of your partner, then you are not having "Trust" on him/her.
This will eventually come out dangerously as anger and irritation.
e. The "yes" man Effect - many people can never say "NO"... they are compelled to say "yes" and confirm, cause they feel that will make others happy...
a "yes-man" slowly looses his identity... And while some are very comfortable doing it, others sooner or later will feel the pinch.
f. Decision Changers - there are many individuals who take a decision, and within hours or days completely take a U-turn on the same.
I once met a patient whose "boyfriend" would promise her marriage and within weeks he would retrace..
Decisions are taken to be followed upon.. And thats why they should be mutually agreed upon.. else you will loose love.
The basis of a good communication starts by knowing yourself.
Don't Indulge in behavior that is un-natural to your personality.
Be-ware of manipulators and always know your boundaries.
Sometimes its important to break a relationship, because the person involved has a personality that doesn't match or can never match your owns.
You can ask your questions @-
Dr.Hemant Mittal
(Psychiatrist,Motivational Writer/Speaker and Counselor)
email - eksoch@gmail.com
website - http://mindmantra.in/services.html
or take an appointment for personal consultation @-
address- Mind Mantra wellness clinic
Shop 15, shreeji plaza, next to ice n spice restaurant,
opposite seawoods station,
seawoods (east)
Navi Mumbai - 400706
Priya (name changed) is a 34yrs old house wife who is battling the ideas of a divorce... She was married 4yrs ago, and her husband is everything a girl needs for happiness.. Well "settled", good reputation and no addictions... But her problem, he never stands by his decisions.. .
The above are just 2 of the hundreds of people I have met facing the great problem of "Horrendously wrong Communication" in a relationship.
TAKE LOOK INTO YOUR LIFE, YOU'LL REALIZE HOW SOMETIME EVEN YOU HAVE SUFFERED FROM THIS PROBLEM....
PRACTICALLY SPEAKING ITS IMPOSSIBLE TO BE "STRAIGHT FORWARD" ALL THE TIME... MOST OF THE TIME PEOPLE ARE TRYING TO MANIPULATE THE SITUATION.
Some of the common behaviors, which when done in excess send extremely wrong signals, leading to destruction of the basic core of a relationship - "Trust".
a. Lying - in particular when done to to hide your fears... this will lead to frustrations, as your "trust" quotient will decrease with time.
b. Manipulation - using the "love" a person has for you, to divert his/her mind process towards your own ideology. Henceforth making them more dependent and destroying their core personality.
One act can change dependency into negativity. And this can make one understands how much he/she has been "manipulated" to un-naturally move against their own personality.
Everyone has a particular personality, "natural" self means, it has to manifest itself.. And manipulators don't let that happen, they divert it.
c. excess demanding - always having a new demand, will make your partner become frustrated and loose trust in you. As after a time, the partner will feel taken for granted.
d. Suspicion - If you are constantly asking questions and explanation to "know" or have "control" on the activities of your partner, then you are not having "Trust" on him/her.
This will eventually come out dangerously as anger and irritation.
e. The "yes" man Effect - many people can never say "NO"... they are compelled to say "yes" and confirm, cause they feel that will make others happy...
a "yes-man" slowly looses his identity... And while some are very comfortable doing it, others sooner or later will feel the pinch.
f. Decision Changers - there are many individuals who take a decision, and within hours or days completely take a U-turn on the same.
I once met a patient whose "boyfriend" would promise her marriage and within weeks he would retrace..
Decisions are taken to be followed upon.. And thats why they should be mutually agreed upon.. else you will loose love.
The basis of a good communication starts by knowing yourself.
Don't Indulge in behavior that is un-natural to your personality.
Be-ware of manipulators and always know your boundaries.
Sometimes its important to break a relationship, because the person involved has a personality that doesn't match or can never match your owns.
You can ask your questions @-
Dr.Hemant Mittal
(Psychiatrist,Motivational Writer/Speaker and Counselor)
email - eksoch@gmail.com
website - http://mindmantra.in/services.html
or take an appointment for personal consultation @-
address- Mind Mantra wellness clinic
Shop 15, shreeji plaza, next to ice n spice restaurant,
opposite seawoods station,
seawoods (east)
Navi Mumbai - 400706
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