Is this LOVE !!!

23 October, 10.30am, sitting at the Memory Clinic at Nair Hospital, waiting for the 1st appointment of the day to turn up.
a few minutes pass by, and the door opens... my mind, body and soul turn on the engine's...lets start the proceedings...
Walks in an old lady, must be in her late 60's, wrinkled face, heavy specs, whitish hair, having troubles finding the direction, lost in her own world, talking to her-self in her "own" language, looking upon each new face with suspicion.
She is Followed by a even older gentleman, who very patiently shows her the way, shows her the chair, explains her that's it meant to be seated upon. Helps her sit down. Occasionally throws a comforting smile towards her, which she doesn't respond to. And still holds her hands, like the 1st time he helped her cross that busy road.
Very slowly she settles into the chair, looks around. Feels lost. I try to gather some eye to eye contact, but its futile. The only thing i achieve is an occasional blank stare. By now I have already made a picture of the disease in my mind. She is Alzheimer's..advance stage. I also deduce that she has gone to the point of no-return. From here onwards, my role is just to reduce as many symptoms as possible before she reaches that eventual ending.
I ask her husband, whats the current status. Unfortunately he confirms my worst fears.
Since last 6months she has completely lost all memory. She doesn't remember any member of her family,
doesn't remember even her own name,
doesn't remember the street where she has been living since 50yrs,
doesn't remember where the bathroom in the house is.
She can't dress-up herself anymore, coz she has forgotten how to button-up.
She eats only once in few days, as she forgets that she is hungry.
She doesn't remember that she needs to go to the loo, and urinates in her own clothes.
She doesn't remember that a chair is meant for sitting, and water is meant for drinking.
In middle of all this She still occasionally turns to her husband and recognises his face. Then she scolds him for aging so fast. And again she gets lost in her own world.
at the end of the long list of complaints, and after my entire neuro-psychiatric examination...
I looked upon her husband, and out-of the context asked do you keep the smiling?

He looked upon a old sage does towards the seeker of knowledge... smiled and said "I love her...and will love her till my last breath"...

As i bid them goodbye, i turned to myself and thought... IS THIS LOVE!!!! it cannot be defined so simply by just four letters!!!

SMILE... :)

Mumbai Local train traveling ain't the easiest in the world. We are not commuters, but Gladiators. Men and Women fighting united by the common cause to be the 1st one in grabbing that one seat, that empty standing place, that corner where you can at least stand with both feet planted on the floor.
Pushing, jumping into moving trains, shouting, getting bruised, some unknown chap shouting his lungs out into your poor ear while talking on his cell-phone, all the gossip and rumors spoken out loud as if bargaining in financial stock markets.... to cut the story short... its a physical, mental and spiritual torture to complete a every single journey.
The Mumbai locals are also the place where you can learn the most. Its Where your teacher is Life, and the subject is "reality". One of those great teachings happened today.
As usual, After a day of good productive work at Nair Hospital, I was heading back home. The taxi ride wasn't the best, the Mumbai October heat had me dehydrated, and "daily" life stress was on free ride inside my mind...As I got into the 1st class compartment, i had the luxury of a nearly empty coach. I scanned thru and found myself a nice place. In a few seconds the October heat got hold of me, and suddenly i found myself at the center of a moving furnace. The slow speed of the train added valuable points to my frustration. By the 5 station, with every passing stop, increasing heat, crowd pouring in and out, my frustration barometer had reached a peak. My mind was multitasking by battling the "daily" stress, cursing the govt. for the deplorable journey, and ordering my facial muscles to go into frown-mode.
At Kurla station, an old,thin, stooped postured, tobacco-taint toothed, sweat smelling, torn clothes wearing gentleman came and sat just across my seat. I'm dead against discrimination on any basis, but obviously this old chap didn't belong to the 1st class crowd.
Within a few seconds, he asked me in a heavily "north-Indian" accented hindi "bahi yeh train panvel ko jayegi kya ( is this train going to panvel station) "...
Battling my own internal world, least interested i replied ... "haa-ji, panvel ki train hai panvel hi jayegi..." (yes sir, this is a panvel bound train so it will go to panvel)...
by this time I had understood, that our guest here, wasn't from mumbai. And he had least experience of traveling in mumbai locals...
With the moving train, the expressions on the old chappy's face kept changing.. sometimes suspicious, curious, disgusted...while me siting in front of him, having the most plastic frown painted all over my face, as if my facial muscles had gone on strike.
Following its normal route, the train got onto the Vashi creek bridge...(this is a km long bridge connecting mumbai with navi mumbai.)...and Its that part of my daily journey when my mind, body and soul start working in harmony, as the journey is nearing its completion.
BUT today something happened!!!.... As the train got onto the Vashi creek bridge...the old man suddenly jumped on his seat. His eyes lit up, his body got all charged up, and then he SMILED...a smile like that of a 6months old baby, a smile full of innocence and happiness. A smile that's not only infectious, but that's enlightening.
In his moment of euphoria, pointing towards the adjacent road-transport bridge over vashi creek, he looked towards me... and said " sahib, maine aaj tak kabhi itne badi pooliya par itna saara gaadi ko chalte nahi dekha.. (sir, i haven't seen such a big bridge in my life)" he continued... "dekho dekho sahib... pooliya samundar ke uper hai...aur gadi kitna badha hai...(see, see the bridge is over water and the cars are so big)"... and he kept smiling...
Within a second, the rush of a 100 red bull energy drinks got over me. His infectious smile, got hold of me to. Suddenly all my facial muscles came back to work, and a unknown, sense of happiness filled my mind...
After a while we both got back to our initial positions, but with me the smile remained, the frustration was lowered, the mind had stoped battling the "daily" stress, new ideas solutions started to pour in, and the day started looking productive again...
its strange but how often we just forget to smile....and its power.
Whenever your day ain't going right...whenever you feel things aren't ok...whenever you are down... just go back to that pleasant memory, just see that little baby, just listen to a good song... JUST LET YOURSELF SMILE :)

The Burning Incense Stick....

The Aroma of Sandalwood slowly glides its way to each corner of the room, leaving a pleasant feeling of happiness and a elation in the room. There is always a feeling of something mystical and spiritual thats connected with an incense stick. To think about it, isn't it amazing how a little thing like an incense stick, can bring joy and peace to an environment.

Like an incense stick, if we just look into our lifes, we will find that the statement:
"its so simple to be happy, but so difficult to be simple"
is so true.
I am no preacher of right and wrong, but i do understand the human mind. And i do understand, like all of you, the basic, inner-most feeling, dominating our mind-body-soul complex is HAPPINESS.
The quintessential search for happiness, is a never-ending human story, that starts with birth and ends up with death. How many attain it? may be all or may be none or maybe some...the answer is inconsequential, but the realisation of it is.
HAPPINESS as seen from a psychological point has following parts :
1. the biological reason for happiness
2. the emotional reason for happiness.
3. the spiritual or mystical reason for happiness.
1. The Biological Reason:
Our brain is the master of the body. So is it the master of our emotions. its a highly complex network of nerves and matter,that communicates within itself thru chemicals called neuro-transmitters. It communicates with the body thru chemicals called hormones. The brain tries its level best to maintain a harmony or homeostatis between these chemicals and neuro-transmitters. Sometimes genetics or the environment trigger a huge demand for a particular chemical, depleating it and leading to negative emotions, attitudes and behaviours.
e.g. depression can be caused by the depletion of neuro-transmitter serotonin, which is triggered by an environmental factor.
2. The emotional Reason:
An individual's psychology is a book, whose pages he starts writing the day he is born.
From the 1st month of life, we start learning certain emotions, attitudes and behaviours. We start learning responses to situations, we start learning to how to cope with situations,overall we start learning how to emotionally move ahead every day in life. All this learning goes into the UNCONCIOUS MIND, and after 5yrs of age, we start acting according to the learnt. When thinks dont happen according to us, we display negative emotions. And when they happen according to us, we display positive emotions. Once we are exposed to too much of an emotion...positive or negative...we develop changes in our personality that later become disorders. e.g too much positive emotions can make you arrogant and angery which can lead to bad decisions in critical time. vis-a-vis too much of negative emotions can make you sad, irritable that can lead to self-harm or self-destruction.
3. The Spiritual Reason:
Spiritually we are all souls in this universe. A soul, is a source of energy. We are dominated by positive and negative energies. The balance should always favor the positive energy and not the negative one. As the bias changes to negative energy, the more dangerous it becomes for our mind and body.
e.g. people telling you constantly that you are bad, surrounds you with negative vibes, that can lead to irritation, sadness, and anger. vis-a-vis keeping a positive approach will lead to victory in any battle coming your way.
Coming back to our little incense stick.... It embodies the meaning of happiness inside of it. It walks thru its life burning the right chemicals, surrounded with positive energy and balances our emotions. so
"is it so difficult to keep it simple?"



Its time you respect and appreciate the woman in your life... your wife!!

The classical indian metro-city males looks to marry an educated working-class girl, whom he expects to be a virgin, and above all takes care of him, his family and at the same time reproduce 2-3 beautiful kids.

So because getting into this deal, have you thought what you have to offer.. And what she has to offer...
Think about yourself, as you get to know what she brings to the table-

She, like you and any other human has grown up with dreams and aspirations...

She, like you or your sister, might have never entered a kitchen as she was busy in studies and competing in a system that gives no special concession to girls for their culinary achievements.

She, like you, who has loved her parents, brothers and sisters for 20-25years before meeting you.

She like you wants to earn money so she can have a sense of self-worth...

She, who has bravely agreed to leave behind all her dreams, aspirations, family and family name, just because she believes in you.

From the time of marriage,

She, is expected to be a master-chef from day #1, while you sleep oblivious to her predicament in the new circumstances, environment and that kitchen.

She, is expected to make tea, first thing in the morning and cook food at the end of the day.. what if she has traveled and worked the same as you...yet she is never expected to complain;

She, who is to be a servant, a cook, a mother, a wife, even if she doesn't want to..

She, just like you, who is learning what the meaning of a relationship is... but still has to be a buffer of "taunts" from those around.

She, who like you, is clumsy and sloppy at times.. but pointing fingers at her mistakes is easier as she is supposed to be quiet.

She, who like you, has had her own set of friends since school days, yet is willing to put all that on the back-burners to avoid your irrational jealousy, unnecessary competition and your inherent insecurities...

she who has the right to drink and dance just as well as you can, but won't, simply because you won't like it...

She, who like you, might have deadlines at work.. but cannot be late from work without a "smart-ass" comment being thrown at her..

She, who prefers to remain quiet, as is doing her level best to make this relationship a grand success by being self-sacrificing...

She, who is supposed to be always perfect, doesn't matter how her body is behaving..

She, who is supposed to take all the burdens of the children, while you sit find faults...




Dr.Hemant Mittal
website -
email -

Saas Bahau Aur ...Psychiatry...

If I am permitted to draw a parallel, the evolution of mordern india has its closest links to the evolution of the SAAS BAHAU SERIAL... As Tulsi Virani ( "THE" TULSI VIRANI) aged, changed different roles of life, shedded bottles of glycerin and grew fat... India as a nation, grew socially, economically and "mentally".
Ramayan and Mahabharat once ruled the hearts and minds of the naive indian television viewer. Today the onus is to choose from vast array of saas, bahau's and xyz characters.
So are these soap operas good or bad? well take ur pick...who is worse gorge bush or osama bin laden? To each his own ... But definetly these Serials are POWERFUL... They leave a long lasting effect on the mind of the viewer... Just like that Armani Perfume that doesnt leave you, These serials stick to your Unconcious Mind. And have the power of changing your entire personality.
I will give you some examples i have noticed over the past few months...
1. a girl with her mother buying clothes at the mall.. girl "how do i look in this dress"...
mother.. "nahi look like vamp of kahani ghar ghar ki.."
the girl changes into another dress... "mummy how do i look now?"
mother ..."beta this is look ditto like ananya from ladkhi anjani si..."
well you will say...its fashion...we all like to buy whats in-sync.. And I accept that.
My-point is...that the mother wants to fashion her daughter to fit the mould of "perfect" girl from that serial...This puts an added pressure onto the girl...
2. Two old ladies during their daily gossip session...
1st lady...."mrs.gupta ki just like komolika"...."she has destroyed that entire family"..
2nd lady..." i are so right...thank god my bahau is just like prerna. So caring..."
my point- creating milestones by looking at fictional characters...well isnt that non-logical !!! how many times have you been compared to some t.v. actor, who you dont even know...
How many times,have you seen that the hottest topic in a gathering is a soap opera and its story-line...
how many times does that 9'o'clock click...trigger the irritation, anger button inside of you.
how many times do you avoid going home early, to avoid those rivers of glycering, the eyes of suspicion and classical background score..
if you just sit and many points have already been added to your stress meter.
3. This is the best one....
A few years ago, when I joined post-graduation. As an obidient, nice, 1st year PG student, i was required to finish my morning patients check up by 9am. And evening round by 7pm.
One fine day during my evening round, i see a huge discussion going on at the end of the corridor. I ignore it, as these petite things are normal in a hospital. Within a few minutes I see a fellow doctor, from other speciality, being surrounded by a crowd of 5-7people...And the discussion gathering heat.
Sensing something is wrong, i decide to take a casual walk towards ground-zero... As i reach there, i find my friend being bombared with millions of questions about blood cancer, how it can be cured, and how in-efficient the doctors in this hospital are. I approach the crowd, and casually ask one of them what is happening. This gentlemen, not sensing that I am a doctor, Takes me to the side and tells me the whole story.
To cut things short...The patient, some unfortunate chap who was diagnosed with "blood" Cancer or Leukemia. His relatives where debating on all the possible treatments available. Their medical guide...A soap opera!!!
I am not against entertainment...I am not against soap operas...but i am against you being at mercy of them... ITS TIME TO WAKE UP!!!! OR MAY ITS TIME TO TURN THE T.V AND GO TO SLEEP...

a broken heart...

11th october, 7.00pm.
As i prepare to end the day, and move into weekend mode, walk's in this fragile, sad-looking, dejected youngester...must be between 18-22 from the first impression. And 100% he is depression case.
Young depressive clients are a big never know what is causing the never know what is hampering there mind-thought-body. But at the same time they are the most professionally satisfying, coz the recovery rate is extremely high. In fact counseling shows maximum benefit with them.
hmm.. now coming back to reality... As this young chap walks in, i see a gentleman coming along with him. A presume its his father or elder brother.
They sit, the well-groomed gentlemen introduces himself... "hello doctor, I have come along with my son. He seems to have this problem.Since past few days he isnt concentrating in his studies, seems to be sleepy and fatigued thru out the day, doesnt like to interact with anyone, is loosing all interest in studies, and his grades have started decreasing. (typical indian parent, concerned with studies and grades only!!!! but cannt blame them, with the tough competition out there..everyone wants their son/daughter to be the best...but if they only asked their son/daughter what they want)...anywaz...going away from the moral policing...and coming to the point...
After the gentlemen took the pains to tell me his part of the story was my time to come into action. I quickly sensed that there was some under-line reason for all these depressive symptoms. I asked him to leave us alone.
We started talking...infact i was stareing at him, as looked towards the floor...for 5min (it was geting to my nerves...)..then i said the magic words "i wont tell your dad"...
he believed me...and then started the sad story of new age romeo- new age juliet...
he was 22yrs old, finishing his graduation in science subject, since the 1st year of college he feel in love with a girl. The lady reciprocated to his affection. Soon they started "going around". He feel more and more in love with her... i.e. he became more and more dependant on her...And took her omni-presence in his life as the central focal point of living. (now cannt blame him... "love is blind")... 2 months ago, as they approached final semester, he decided to prop the question of marriage.!!! and since then she started to distance her self.. a couple of weeks ago, she finally broke off the relationship. leaving mr.romeo heart broken, and sinking into the deep sands of depression. ( evil has no face!!!!)...
it was a sad story..but then it can happen to anyone...
Since that day...he had "lost it"...sleep, appetite, regular daily activities all had lost the regular schedule. He lost all desire, motivation to excel in his studies and get a good job... Was even contemplating self-harm.
i called his father back into the consultancy. Explained him that it was depression. Told him it was education-stress related. The young romeo did get a slight smile for a second (..sometimes a lie can help bring smiles...) Father dear was most cooperative in accepting the problem and going ahead with the treatment.
I knew he would respond with few sessions of counseling..But PAPA di great...wasnt intrested in counseling.Just wanted him back on the studies track earlier than possible. With a heavy heart had to start on non-sedative, non-addictive anti-depressants... Now lets wait and within 3weeks he should start showing the effects....

for the moment time to pack-up...and head straight into the weekend :)

common cold and mental health...a fusion of sorts.

11th october, 11:50am.
Common Cold! human kind's oldest and smartest enemy. No form of medicine, mordern or acient has been able to battle it. It takes its own sweet time to go, and leaves you with a sense of deja vu!
This morning, i woke up, with my immune system battling this enemy. After popping a green and a yellow pill, i felt my immune system will be booseted with the mind, soul and spirit of the brazilian soccer team, but sadly it kept feeling like an indian soccer player among a group of indian cricketers.
With my mind blocked!!! my head spining, my nose flowing ...and my body in lethargy mode...i took the great journey towards my clinic. The minister inside my mind wishing for a low profile day...While the financial minister shouting for a heavy i hate capatilists in such moments.
After the ritualistic everyday opening...i sat on the coveted dr.hemant mittal's seat... God! today i was more like that patient number 11, standing in a line, waiting for his turn to get the holy cure...
10 mins later... Walks in this well dressed, well mannered gentleman... My finance minster happy...gets my mind-body ready... suddenly i can feel my body going uprite, all sources of energy being used to give move those 14 facial muscles for a smile, and that auric-sense of doctor.... opens the door... very nicely and coordialy asks me... "may i come in sir"
all doctorish type, with that sudden deep husky voice i say "yes, please come in..have a seat"
mr.gentleman goes on to say " dear doctor..."
by now my mind is already making all sorts of diagnosis...with latest economic situation he is pukka se depression or anxiety or stress related...poor chap...but the economy is geting hard on all of us....
contd. to mr.gentleman says " dear doctor, i am from IDBI Bank..we are offering you a special offer savings account offer"...
suddenly my mind feels the blow...the smile disappears, i go back sluging into my seat...
and tell him with a rude tone "sorry, i dont need ur offer...kindly close the door while leaving, thank you"..
so much effort for nothing.....
common cold and mental health... are really like a cocktail with too much of aerated drink and
lesser of punch!! :)
good day!!!

its a vision, an effort, a passion...

mental health is that sector of human health, which is most neglected, most taken for granted, and has most myths surrounding it.

thru my website, my blog, myself...i am on the crusade to change some of those misconceptions, those myths, to help people professionally.

come and join me in spreading this awareness.