How people misuse Psychology

Human Psychology is one of the most powerful subjects available. Its "greatest curse" is that the more you read it, the more you want to use it too control others.
Many people use Psychology as an shield to get this control over others.

Here are few common instances -

1. I know what you are thinking? - The more psychology they study, the more "mind reader" they feel.
Hope someone would tell them, mind-reading isn't psychology.

2. Analyse the other persons behavior? - Such people say that they "don't judge anyone".. but always have a "comment" about others. They will bring some weird psychological theory to explain it. Most of the times its just their own negative feelings coming out.

3. They can Solve all problems - A true Psychologists knows his/her boundaries. They don't take cases they cannot handle. A false one feels he/she has the solution for all problems in the world. They will use big terminology and quote big examples.Just to show off their "expertise".

4. Quoting Freud and his theories - Sigmund Freud would have committed suicide if he saw how people misunderstand and misuse his theories.

Great majority of false psychologist have NO idea on what Sigmund Freud really meant, but use his words to prove someone wrong.

5. Talk more and Listen less - The paramount basic of psychology is too listen, most such people do the opposite. They just keep talking till the other person doesn't start agreeing with them.

6. Act as if they know everything - A true psychologist learns to give upon ego.. But a false one is full of it. He/she feels he is more knowledgeable then anyone. He avoids those who he knows are more knowledgeable and "shows off" in front of those who are lesser.

written by -

Dr.Hemant Mittal (MBBS,DPM)
Psychiatrist, Motivational Speaker and Counsellor

Motivational Story - The Farmers Fun

Once upon a time, A rich businessman is bored with his life. He decides to stay a few days at a farm.

On the first day he asks farmer -
what is that you do for entertainment?

The farmer says - Sir, we work all day... come back home, have food, spend some time with the family and go to sleep.

The businessman says - oh how boring.. don't you guys drink whisky, play loud music, gamble on cards, dance with many women and enjoy having sex with a different woman every night??

The farmer is confused - is that entertainment sir... the Temple Priest said all those things are evil??

The businessman - What a fool.. See I have been doing that all my life, I am such a happy man.. enjoying his life.. What a fool are you people!!!

That night the farmer goes to sleep feeling that he has wasted his life all along.
Next morning he wakes up, goes to the businessman and ask him -
"Sir, all that entertainment you told me about last night, how and where can I get it?"

The businessman says - Go to the city, and you can enjoy a life like that.

The farmer decides he has wasted his life long enough and deserves "entertainment". He takes all his saving, and goes to the city.

Within a few days he starts drinking, learns to dance on music he hasn't heard in a long time, starts to gamble and spend it on women...
Every morning he wakes up with a hangover and tells himself - I am having fun, I am living the life I deserve.

Soon all his money exhausts and his new found friends start to avoid him. Dejected he takes the bus back home.

On reaching his village, everyone asks him - "how was the city".

In fear of being made fun of, he lies and says - It was amazing, and he had a lot of fun.

Everyone then asks - Why did you come back then?

Fearful of having lies being caught he says - I came back to sell my property here and permanently move to the city.

Everyone congratulates him!!
People demand a big Party for his success..
Some people make an instant offer for his farm.

A few days later, he starts crying while sitting on a bus taking him back to the city.!!

Mind Mantra - I wrote this story based on true cases of people who land up in foreign land because someone has shown them a "great picutre".

I want to tell you that people will show you "Great pictures" and "great paths"... but its essential to choose a path which is in accordance with your personality. It might not be "fun" or "great" according to others, but it will leave you with the satisfaction that its yours.
written by -

Dr.Hemant Mittal (MBBS,DPM)
Psychiatrist, Motivational Speaker, Counsellor

Toxic Relationships Behaviours - 7 interesting facts

In my Psychiatric practice, I meet many couples on the verge of separation and decide to consult me as the last resort. Here  7 interesting facts on how they "grew" out of love -

1. Breaking Value systems - Love is never meant to force you too do thinks you don't like. But many people use "love" or "relationships" as an excuse to push their partners to indulge in activities against their value system - like eating non-veg., drink alcohol, smoking, having sex before marriage or altered ways of having sex.

2. Physical Abuse - Many individuals find it absolutely right to physically abuse their partner. They repent or remove the guilt by saying a simple sorry, but deep inside they feel its the right "corrective" measure to take.

3. Ego above Righteousness - Many family issues that arise because of the egoistic approach of one or both partners. The "egoist" need to never share but keep all property, gold,money or control with themselves.
This makes one behave in very manipulative way, making materialistic things the centre of their greed.

4. 3rd Person Use - I have counselled Many people don't have the "guts" to openly talk with their partners. Trying to keep a "harmonious" environment, they use a 3rd person to express their real feelings.
It could be the mother-in-law who is asked to control a daughter-in-law, using a male friend to communicate with "husband/boyfriend"...etc.
This is toxic specially when the 3rd person involved is psychologically and socially on a different level then both partners.

5. Need based relationship - A complete relationship needs equal sharing by partners at social, financial, personal and physical levels.
A relationship that is prominently need based.( sex, taking care of home, providing money, having children, etc..) lacks positive exchange of emotions.

6. Poor communication - when partners don't communicate with each other, or withheld important information from each other - they cannot create a harmonious self.

7. Over-worked relationships - when the relationship has been over for years, but partners stick to each other for the fear of society or "children" sake. The anger and feeling of being "imprisoned" comes out in various forms.

written by -
Dr.Hemant Mittal (MBBS,DPM)
Psychiatrist, Motivational Speaker and Counsellor