The forgotten TRUTH - Enlightenment that YOU have experienced.

Whenever you are in clinical depression or clinical levels of anxiety, your mind tends to "detach" from "worldly" matters. Nothing seems to affects you.

Many people wrongly call this "enlightment" or attainment of "higher self". It gets funnier when these people preach the same to others.

The truth is that, your mind has actually gone into a "shut down" mode. You have "bottled up" all desire and emotions. You are depressed and lack love in your life. And one day when you will come out of depression, your mind will bring everything out. With loads of anger and restlessness.

Someone on the true path of enlightenment with always find himself experiencing emotions. Happiness or sadness, he will accept them, enjoy them and learn from them.

The meaning of detachment is having confidence that happiness or sadness will come and go but I am ready to experience and accept them.

This would eventually lead to the following -

1. Living in the moment detached from expectations
2. Healing the Past - Healing Relationships with your Parents & Family/Friends
3. A deep desire to Travel as a mode of learning.
4. Feeling blessed for having had Unhealthy, Toxic & Stuck Relationships in his life. Learns to thank them for their emotional teachings and moves ahead without having negativity against them.
5. Loves self - automatically controls on diet, addictions and indulges in exercise/yoga/meditation.
6. The mind is no longer dominated by social rules, expectations and obligations. They are just present.
7. He Becomes a Constant Learner & Student of Life - Never feels knowledgeable or has desires to dominate on others. Is always learning even from the bad.
8. Is happy being alone or around people of like mentality. Has the ability to adjust to any place and any person without letting their ego affect him.
9. Automatically creates new relationships and new lifestyle.
10. Aligns himself with his career. If he wants changes it.. else accepts the current career and moves smoothly into it, with full dedication.

Now you might tell me this is not possible.!!
This is just good for motivational books and motivational speaking!!!

As a psychiatrist, I daily observe who get into these phases and then forget it.
I would like to tell you, that most of you have experienced this but forgotten it.

When you fell in love, when you got married, when your first child was born, when you bought your first car... for a few days you experienced this.. and then forgot it.

This is not just motivational writing. This is reality. You yourself can clear the negativity in the mind. You yourself can attain that peace. The need is to just focus in the right direction.

written by -
Dr.Hemant Mittal (MBBS, DPM)
Psychiatrist, Motivational Speaker, Counsellor

#mumbai #india #psychology #love #peace

Laxmi Pujan - Corporate Handling of God.

No diwali is complete without a Laxmi Pujan. Whenever I see someone perform the entire rituals surrounding Laxmi Pujan, it reminds me of an corporate employee struggling to impress his boss -

1. Desire to prove yourself - The desire to have a successful laxmi pujan, originates from the basic need to prove yourself as good employee infront of the "big boss" - goddess laxmi.

2. Preparation - The laxmi pujan requires a lot of efforts. From cleaning the house to buying the prescribed materials. No matter how much you delegate these tasks, without completion of these preparations, your goal cannot be achieved.

3. Fear boosts performance - The fear that you might do something wrong in the pooja and land up insulting the "big boss" goddess laxmi, makes you consult elders or pandits. The fear boosts you to perform at the best level.

4. Relaxation and Happiness on successfully completing the pooja - One feels happy and celebrates on successfully completing the laxmi pooja.

5. Hope that efforts will pay - After completion a hope is established in your mind. Hope that you have been able to please the "big boss" - goddess laxmi, she will notice your efforts and bless you with favorable rise in life.

Everyone performing these rituals is doing a great thing by giving a piece of their time, a piece of their life to god.. these rituals become sweeter when they are performed with more of love than mechanical precision.

by -
Dr.Hemant Mittal (MBBS, DPM)
Motivational Speaker, Counselor and Psychiatrist.

Signs you are in a Toxic Relationship!!

You can lie to the world, but you cannot lie to yourself.
You might hate your partner, you might be too addicted to him/her or you may be scared of what the society but you know your in a toxic relationship when -

1. Your input is disregarded or even not wanted. - it gets even worse when someone else is praised all the time.

2. You get criticized publicly or in private for all your actions.

3. You hear - "Stop frustrating me" more than “I love you”

4. There is no will to adjust from your partner and you are only expected to change the behavior pattern.

5. You are made to feel like you have no purpose in life.

6. You have to beg for love.

7. Your mind is always worried whats going on behind your back.

8. You are getting more and more scared about the future with your partner.

9. You don’t think you can be loved so much by anyone else, and keep taking the pain in the hope things will change one day.

A toxic relationship destroys your mind... The sole responsible is your partner.
Its time to accept it, he/she uses your love for them as your weakness and is torturing you.

What to do about the Toxic relationship -
1. Be strong move out as soon as possible.
2. If you cannot forgive the one who brought you to this stage, don't forgive. But take this from me, move out. There will be a time for revenge, before that make yourself strong.
3. You might feel weak initially, believe me take this as a learning experience and soon you will become emotionally very strong.
4. I will tell you one truth - The world is selfish - accept it.. the one you loved is also selfish.. Time to become selfish yourself.

written by -
Dr.Hemant Mittal (MBBS, DPM)
Psychiatrist, Motivational Speaker and Counsellor

How is your Selfishness satisfied?

Everyone is selfish that a truth..
Still many people land up visiting me with problems of depression, stress or fear even if their selfish desires came true.

The reason - selfishness compromises of 6 psychological parameters -

1. Time Limit - Your mind has a "mental clock", if your desires ain't fulfilled in this time frame, the mind starts detaching from the same.
The more restless you are the shorter your time limit.

2. Favourably Unique - Your selfishness should be satisfied in a way its better than everyone elses.

3. Reaction - your selfishness should trigger a reaction in others.

4. You and only You - Your selfishness should only benefit you and those you want. Not anyone else.

5. Accepted - Everyone should accept your selfishness and suppress their own. They should keep giving you love, care and kindness.

6. Unquestionable - Nobody should question you about your selfishness. Accepting that you have been selfish is difficult. It can trigger emotions from embarrassment to anger. So like to hide it under "greater ideals"

When all these 6 are satisfied, selfishness gives extreme pleasure and fulfilment. Else it can give rise depression, fear and anger.

written by -
Dr.Hemant Mittal (MBBS, DPM)
psychiatrist, motivational speaker and counselor
email -

#mumbai #india #psychology

5 mantras to success

Confidence - being confidence gives you and everyone around you the right impression

Commitment - you might be confident, but if you don't stand up for your word.. you will soon lose with people. Learn to stand up for what you believe and your commitment to a cause will be shown.

Creativity - confident and committed, but repeating the same thing again and again... will make life monotonous and also stop you from expanding. Expand your potentials, be creative.

Clarity - a confident, committed and creative individual without a clear goal is like a misdirected missile. Have a goal in your mind. Even if your goal is very vague like making money.. Have it well defined and believe in it.

Credibility - when you are confident, committed, creative and have a clarity of what you want.. slowly slowly people believe in you. You need to be patient, and soon the word about you will spread around.. making you essential to others.

7 changes society never told you - "maturity" and "growing up" will bring in your life

1. You will miss your childhood and adolescence as the best time you have ever had.

2. Stress will be your daily companion and when its too close to you, it might drive you to a psychiatrist.

3. You will despise everyday except sundays n holidays.

4. You will need to become selfish, resentful and revengeful to achieve success.

5. Marriage is not a game of love, but a social game based on money, family politics and social recognition.

6. Death will seem closer each day, and the fear will make push you too believe in god.

7. Your body will give up on you and you cannot control it.

Corporate Love Problems - One sided Love

One of the greatest needs of an individual is Understanding. One of the basis of love is Understanding.

When someone can understand you, there is a very high affinity to develop affection for him/her.
Within the corporate sector, this is one of the major psychological reasons to develop "love" for a friend or colleague.

Over the years I have met thousands of men and women who have fallen in love with a colleague.

In a great majority of cases this love in more one-sided. The mind links liking with images of love, caring, fights, future leading to high need for closeness and protectiveness. Since "love" is a movie being played in the mind, the body-brain get more and more irritated to make it a reality.

The tough part is trying to make it a reality. From fear of rejection to presence of a spouse there are hundreds of factors that make love one-sided.

How does one-sided love affect your mind and work?

1. Inability to express your feeling of love for someone lead to low self-esteem.

2. In cases of continuous refusal by the desired individual, leads to over-thinking an creation of an inferiority complex.

3. Over-thinking about failure to "complete" the love, leads to helplessness and worthlessness.

4. Negative emotions associated with it are -

a. lying, planning and plotting
b. jealousy
c. possessiveness
d. intense anger
e. lack of concentration - mind spends whole day thinking of possible ways to make this successful.
f. spending time and money on astrological consultations and/or black magic / tantra to gain the person.
g. high hope and being lost in an imaginary world.

5. continuous helplessness and rejection, triggers an ego-battle..
this creates excessive ANGER.
a. anger - irritation and anger at work and co-workers.
b. anger against family members/society
c. anger against the “desired individual”

What should be done?
1. realise that the mind is fixated on one individual.
2. fixation and restlessness is destroying your personality
3. accept that life is getting fixed at one point and you are not able to grow because of the minds fixation.
4. vent out your emotions-
a. openly express your love to the person and reaching a final decision
b. write a diary were you write your emotions
c. talking it out to a friend.

5. Giving yourself a pat on your back for having such love.
6. don't devalue or let anyone devalue you.
7. consulting a psychiatrist to help you vent out the emotions and break the thought wagon.

For any further help, don’t hesitate in asking me (all consultations are confidential)

written by -

Dr.Hemant Mittal (MBBS, DPM)
Psychiatrist, motivational speaker/writer and counselor

email –