The "Artificial" Self

Over the years if there is one trait of human behavior I have come across every mall, street, corporate office or business setup I have visited... its "artificiality"

Walk through the malls, streets, corporate office, hospitals or weddings.. and I can instantly read how people mind are doing their best to be "artificial".

Being "artificial" is to deviate from your "natural behavior".. its acting out. Doing things you are not comfortable with, but you still do it to grab attention.

I remember at a local mall, a guy was trying to overtly impress a girl. He was speaking in a very heavily "accented" english... He was trying to give everyone the impression, he is very American.... Suddenly a small boy, tipped and dropped a milkshake all over him.
Within a fraction of a second, this guy was into hardcore, local hindi.. using words belonging to the lowest cadre.

Another incident, at the reception party of a newly weds, some girls decide to taste the free flowing alcohol. Trying to prove their supremacy and one is better than another, they landed up drinking one to many drinks. One of them was so drunk, she didn't even know her female assets were flashing in full-public view.

A slightly sober incident was at a corporate office were I had gone to give a motivational lecture. A young gun was trying his very best to show-off his stature. He spoke about being from a very rich family, spoke of big cars, millions of rupees... some of the employees thought they would teach him a lesson... So the moment the lunch bill came, they passed it onto him, quoting his "greatness and richness"... Having to live-up to the "artificial" self he had created, he had to pay up.

But the greatest "artificial" acting happens at parties and get-together. People are trying to outshine each other... For some speaking in English is a sign of culture!!
For others flashing expensive cell phones is a sign of power!!!
For others showing off new watches or jewelry is a sign of appreciation!!!
Unfortunately from most minds I have been able to read, 90% of people flashing the same have had to struggle hard to get that... And they just demean their struggle under the cover of artificial self.




Your suggestions and queries are most welcome at -

email -


Dr.Hemant Mittal
(Neuro-Psychiatrist, Motivational Speaker and Counselor)
website -
address- 15, shreeji plaza, next to ice n spice restaurant, opposite seawoods station, seawoods (east)
Navi Mumbai

When specific sounds irritate you?

Ever met people who get very irritated with a specific type of sound... For example the sound of nails on a blackboard, the scretching sound of a car braking, the sound of someone eating chips in front of them...  all these cases are probably suffering from various degrees of misophonia.

What is misophonia?
The word misophonia literally translates to "hatred of sound". Misophonia sufferers are extremely sensitive to "specific sounds" which are called as "triggers".

Most common are - nails on blackboard, sliping of chalk on blackboard, people eating food, the crunching of ice or chips in someones mouth, the sound of a certain persons voice, heavy breathing etc.

Symptoms most commonly seen -

1. The age of onset is often after 10-12yrs.
2. The sudden change in behavior or emotional pattern is a reactive episode which starts with a trigger sound (or some aspect of the sound)
3. The emotional/behavioral reaction is severe when a person is in a comfortable environment.
4. The reaction is experienced can range from sudden irritability, anger to even extreme rage.
5. The trigger sound suddenly starts a fight or flight response in the sufferer, so they experience a desire to do extreme anger towards the maker of the sound or want to escape from the vicinity of the same.

Why does it happen?
There are 2 theories for the same -
a. many consider it as a physiological development defect in the brain. Which has no cure.

b. Other consider it part of OCD or obsessive compulsive disorder, with some post-traumatic subconscious association with the sound.


1. Know Your Triggers

Keeping a track of those things that set you off, helps you prepare for a situation in advance.
Going for a meeting or on lunch with someone who chews with his mouth wide open...
one can create mental images and try to calm down, before going exposute.

2. Disengage from a place

If possible, excusing yourself and moving away from a situation helps to control the rage reaction.

3. Do Things That Make You Happy and always be positive about yourself.

Thousands and millions of people have misophonia, that doesn't mean you cannot indulge in activities and you have to stay put at home.

4. Work With Your Doctor

Misophonia normally doesn't need any cure. But one has to be given "SOS" anti-anxiety medications.
Medications to be taken only the day one has the episode or when a person is fearing he/she will experience the episode within next few hours.

5. Most people never give importance to such a problem. But the sufferer of the same, is really sad.
Many times the sadness even pushes them to think about suicide.
Provide them proper support and help treat the depression/suicide thoughts by consulting a good psychiatrist/counselor in your region

Your suggestions and queries are most welcome at -

email - 


Dr.Hemant Mittal
(Neuro-Psychiatrist, Motivational Speaker and Counselor)
website -
address- 15, shreeji plaza, next to ice n spice restaurant, opposite seawoods station, seawoods (east) 
Navi Mumbai

Find out the Purpose of Life

Success is a term which has many measures. Some measure it in money, others in fame and others in power.
Then there is another group of people, who are above money, fame and power.. and look for Love. Their purpose of life is to find emotional stability in being loved by someone... They don't give much importance to the other 3 factors.

Sheikh chilli vs Arjun ?
These can be divided into 2 groups-

1. Sheikh chillis - A great majority never cross the 1st phase of success - which is imagination or dreaming..

There are thousands and millions, who just spend their time imaging "that day" when they will have everything they want... These are the chaps who are called 'sheikh chilli". They build castles in the air, and are never able to stand upto their commitment.

2. Arjun - The Perfectionists - There is another group that is "married to their obsession".. They keep thinking and working towards their obsession.

They spend whole day trying to reach that goal. They only see that goal. Any deviance from that goal and they become nervous.

An example of these are the "blackberry" resources which corporates have created. An efficient worker, who is logged into the system 24hrs and is constantly generating productive resources.

Majority of people walk the line in-between these two... but either criticize the earlier and envy becoming the later.

Happiness?Every organism in this world is genetically programmed to do things that he/she finds pleasure giving.
Humans are no different. The great majority of us look to do actions which will produce some kind of happiness.

May our research be for money, power, fame or Love... May we be a sheikh chilli, an arjun or someone habours trait of both... we look at doing things that make us happy.

Our basic nature is too search for happiness.

You have problems finding the purpose of your life, when you don't know where you happiness is.
You have problems finding the purpose of your life, when you search to be happy by doing things others feel is happiness.
You have problems finding the purpose of your life, when you are not able to take a decision and accept its consequences.

Finding the Purpose of Life?Look into your personality.
Think what you have liked and disliked all these years.
Think what has given you happiness and what has given you sadness.

You might be running to much after one of power, fame, money or love... its time to seek happiness from all four.

You might be either a sheikh chilli or an arjun...   maybe its time to change your approach.

The purpose of your life is to get happiness.
You can either de-code the path to happiness yourself.. you can seek help to decode this path.. but you will have to walk the path.

My inbox is always open to all your suggestions and queries. You are most welcome to approach me at -

Dr.Hemant Mittal (Neuro-Psychiatrist, Motivational Speaker and Counselor)
email -
website -
address- 15, shreeji plaza, next to ice n spice restaurant, opposite seawoods station, seawoods (east)
Navi Mumbai