Being Emotionally Strong means no one will ask if you'r "okay"

2 emotional ironies I very often come across-

some come and say -
"I am very strong in front of the entire world, but somedays even I feel that someone should ask me if I am ok".

while others come up and say -
"He/she is very strong, we don't need to worry about them.. they will take care of themselves".

Emotional growth is divided in levels... Normal People keep fluctuating between these levels. Sometime at the base and sometimes at the top... Remember all levels are great and naturally perfect... but they are viewed differently by the society.

At the base level are those personalities that require support. This is most crowded place, because everyone at sometime in their life requires support for some emotional trait.

At the highest level are those personalities that seem to be perfect problem solvers. They seem to have solution for every problem posted.  While everyone aims to achieve this state, the closer you get the more you run away from it.
This is the loneliest of all levels. Here nobody is concerned about they feel you are capable of handling everything... everyone is just interested in seeking some emotional strength from you. 

As the saying goes - The higher you rise, the lonelier it gets.

If you can enjoy the loneliness then this stage is perfect.. but if you cannot enjoy the loneliness then this stage can be disastrous... because you have to pretend to be happy and strong.
The more you pretend, the more you hurt your subconscious mind.
The more restlessness you create.
The more negative energy is thrown into the universe.

Its important to follow your own nature.
Its important to accept the basic of your personality.
Its important to be happy and celebrate whatever traits you have.

No trait is wrong... and no trait is there to be ashamed of.

Thanks for reading, your queries are welcome @-

Dr.Hemant Mittal
(Psychiatrist,Motivational Writer/Speaker and Counselor)

email -
website -

personal consultation @-
address- Mind Mantra wellness clinic
Shop 15, shreeji plaza, next to ice n spice restaurant,
opposite seawoods station,
seawoods (east)
Navi Mumbai - 400706

Managing Strong Emotions

When a mood against someone or for someone arises, do not place it on the person in questions, but remain centered.
If hate arises for someone or against someone, or love arises for someone, what do we do? We project it on the person. If you feel hate toward me, you forget yourself completely in your hate; only I become your object. If you feel love toward me, you forget yourself completely; only I become the object. You project your love or hate or whatsoever upon me. You forget completely the inner center of your being; the other becomes the center.
This sutra says when hate arises or love arises, or any mood for or against anyone, do not project it on the person in question. Remember, you are the source of it.
I love you — the ordinary feeling is that you are the source of my love. That is not really so. I am the source, you are just a screen on which I project my love.
You are just a screen; I project my love on you and I say that you are the source of my love. This is not fact, this is fiction. I draw my love energy and project it onto you. In that love energy projected onto you, you become loveable. You may ot be loveable to someone else, you may be absolutely repulsive to someone else.
If you are the source of love then everyone will feel loving toward you, but you are not the source.
I project love, then you become loveable; someone projects hate, then you become repulsive. And someone else doesn’t project anything, he is indifferent; he may not even have looked at you.
What is happening? We are projecting our own moods upon others. That is why, if you are on your honeymoon, the moon looks beautiful, miraculous, wonderful. it seems that the whole world is different. And on the same night, just for your neighbor, this miraculous night may not be in existence at all. His child has died — then the same moon is just sad, intolerable. But for you it is enchanting, fascinating; it creates passion. Why? Is the moon the source or is the moon just a screen and you are projecting yourself?
This sutra says, when a mood against someone or for someone arises, do not place it on the person in question — or on the object in question. Remain centered.
Remember that you are the source, so do not move to the other, move to the source. When you feel hate, do not go to the object. Go to the point from where the hate is coming. Go not to the person to whom it is going, but to the center from where it is coming.
Move to the center, go within. Use your hate or love or anger or anything as a journey toward your inner center, to the source. Move to the source and remain centered there. Try it! This is a very, very scientific, psychological technique.
Someone has insulted you — anger suddenly erupts, you are feverish. Anger is flowing toward the person who has insulted you. Now you will project this whole anger onto him. He has not done anything. If he has insulted you, what has he done? He has just pricked you, he has helped your anger to arise — but the anger is yours. If he goes to Buddha and insults him, he will not be able to create any anger in him. Or if he goes to Jesus, Jesus will give him the other cheek. Or if he goes to Bodhidharma, he will roar with laughter. So it depends.
The other is not the source, the source is always within you. The other is hitting the source, but if there is no anger within you it cannot come out. If you hit a buddha, only compassion will come out because only compassion is there. Anger will not come out because anger is not there.
If you throw a bucket into a dry well, nothing comes out. In a water-filled well, you throw a bucket and water comes out, but the water is from the well. The bucket only helps to bring it out. So one who is insulting you is just throwing a bucket in you, and then the bucket will come out filled with the anger, hate, or fire that was within you.
You are the source, remember.
For this technique, remember that you are the source of everything that you go on projecting onto others. And whenever there is a mood against or for, immediately move within and go to the source from where this hate is coming.
Remain centered there; do not move to the object. Someone has given you a chance to be aware of your own anger — thank him immediately and forget him. Close your eyes, move within, and now look at the source from where this love or anger is coming. From where?
Go within, move within. You will find the source there because the anger is coming from your source. Hate or love or anything is coming from your source.
And it is easy to go to the source at the moment you are angry or in love or in hate, because then you are hot. It is easy to move in then. The wire is hot and you can take it in, you can move inward with that hotness. And when you reach a cool point within, you will suddenly realize a different dimension, a different world opening before you.
Use anger, use hate, use love to go within. We use it always to move to the other, and we feel very much frustrated if no one is there to project upon. Then we go on projecting even on inanimate objects. I have seen persons being angry at their shoes, throwing them in anger. What are they doing? I have seen angry persons
pushing a door in anger, throwing their anger on the door, abusing the door, using dirty language against the door. What are they doing?
I will end with one Zen insight about this. One of the greatest of Zen masters, Lin Chi, used to say, “While I was young I was very fascinated by boating. I had one small boat, and I would go on the lake alone. For hours together I would remain there.” Once it happened that with closed eyes I was in my boat meditating on the beautiful night. One empty boat came floating downstream and struck my boat. My eyes were closed, so I thought, ‘Someone is here with his boat, and he has struck my boat.’ Anger arose. I opened my eyes and I was just going to say something to that man in anger, then I realized that the boat was empty. Then there was no way to move. To whom could I express the anger? The boat was empty. It was just floating downstream, and it had come and struck my boat. So there was nothing to do. There was no possibility to project the anger on
an empty boat.”
So Lin Chi said, “I closed my eyes. The anger was there, but finding no way out, I closed my eyes and just floated backward with the anger. And that empty boat became my realization. I came to a point within myself in that silent night. That empty boat was my master. And now if someone comes and insults me, I laugh and I say, ‘This boat is also empty.’ I close my eyes and I go within.”
Use this technique. It may work miracles for you.

Explore your Creativity

I was visiting an old friend of mine a few days ago. I asked him about a wonderful SLR camera lying in this room.
He proudly said - "just got the photography bug... the creative force is just flowing through me... every weekend we travel to a different destination and click some awesome photos.. come I will show you some of the great shots I have taken over the last few weeks"
His wife tauntingly added - "by the way this isn't the 1st time the creative force is flowing through my loving husband... there is an imported yoga mat, an expensive casio keyboard, a brand new Nike gym kit, 1kg of clay, a bunch of canvas and paints, and even an imported magic kit... feel free to take any of the junk.."
People spend hundreds of thousands on "hobbies" they might not continue for more than a few weeks. The reason - STRESS.
Creativity is the power of being free... The power of jumping into the unknown without expectation.
Just Take a pen and blank paper... and start drawing something... without any regulations... In a while every stroke of the pen will actually be releasing a lot of emotions.
You might end up tearing the paper apart, but its an amazing release of energy.
such is the power of Creativity, it makes a simple pen and paper powerful.
Hobbies are ways to indulge into this creative force and experience its positive effects.
Why people keep changing their hobbies?
Creativity is a very powerful force. It can be constructive as well as destructive.
Restlessness makes it negative in the following ways -

1. The Salt in Tea - Ego - 
Remember the last time you were singing your favorite song and suddenly a bad memory flashed in front of your eyes... and you focused on the memory, it destroyed the entire moment.
Remember when you were dancing freely and you realized some friend/family was watching you, and you became embarrassed.
The moment Ego gets mixed in your creativity, it destroys the joy and enjoyment. 
The destroys the powerful release of emotions.
You are at your creative best when doing things because you find joy in doing it - creativity requires freedom... a freedom to enjoy.

2. The moody Child - Creativity is like a moody child, it sometimes present and its sometimes absent.
You cannot ask it too be present at a time you want.
You have become habituated of living a life by the time-table. 
So you have a slot allotted to creativity. 
If creativity doesn't come within that time, you move to the next slot.
You feel that time was wasted.
The more angry you get on Creativity... The more it runs away from you.
Be prepared to express your creativity at any moment... Or learn to accept the moments when it wasn't there.

3. Creativity is meditation in motion - 
If you have ever meditated, you'll know that the most important thing is to try and be still.
Its means to let go of the past and don't worry about the future.
Its experiencing the present.
Creativity is meditation in motion... your mind can be loaded with past and future worries.. but if you are not enjoying the present moment, you won't give your best.
If you indulge in your creative pursuit thinking of creativity as a powerful medium to channelize your emotions.. You will see how it 
helps guide your mind's energy towards self-development.

4. Coward or Fighter - 
Creativity demands a lot of courage. 
Its jumping into something unknown, taking risks and subjecting yourself to being criticized.
If you start a creative pursuit with the goal of achieving recognition and respect than you are bound to become afraid if your efforts don't yield results.
Recognition and respect keeps you from experimenting.
The more you focus on recognition and respect, the more scared you become.. the more you run away from a creative pursuit.

Singing, dancing, playing a music instrument, painting, cooking, yoga, exercise, poetry, using clay ... Expressing your creativity in any form is one of the best natural anti-anxiety, anti-depressants and personality improvement techniques in the world.
But remember to indulge in the same with a freedom... without expectation.. and with the joy of enjoying every moment.

Thanks for reading, your queries are welcome @-
Dr.Hemant Mittal 
(Psychiatrist,Motivational Writer/Speaker and Counselor)
email -
website -
personal consultation @- 
address- Mind Mantra wellness clinic
Shop 15, shreeji plaza, next to ice n spice restaurant, 
opposite seawoods station, 
seawoods (east)
Navi Mumbai - 400706

Be a Catalyst to Bring Two Heart together not Tear them apart

Salman Khan hugged Shahrukh Khan, and it became national news.. but not many know that Baba Siddiqui is the one to be accredited for bringing them together.

Over the years I have desired to meet such people who would bring hearts together.. but I have come to meet thousands of people who have this natural tendency to "tear two people apart". 

The reason for this is because of their own subconscious frustration, anger and self-resentment against the inability to maintain a long term happy and fruitful relationship.
Most such people come from homes where they have lacked parental love, have disputes with their siblings, have had bad relationships, have a bad marriage and/or are not many times capable of being good dedicated parents.

Whenever they meet and befriend someone who is in a happy relationship, there is a natural jealous, subconscious frustration and anger against it. 
Under the mask of "love", their powerful subconscious frustration triggers an over-analysis of that relationship.
They use their limited knowledge of "moral values", "social rules" and limited "spiritual gyan" as marker of "happiness quotient" within that relationship. 

No relationship is perfect, and finding "faults" is not easy... But these people are able to highlight those faults in a greater proportion that they really are... They swiftly find faults in the relationship structure, in the personality of the partners... and give "valid" non-psychological explanations for the same. 
This makes the be-friended partner fearful about self and the relationship.

Fear is the greatest termite to love... It destroys faith and patience... It eventually provokes one to behave against natural self, and creates a major negativity in the mind.

While these "friend, family member or well-wisher" promote these unwanted thoughts and disturbances in a relationship, as a way to improve the partners personality and their relationship, it actually is meant to create a more comfortable and controllable setting for themselves.

As the befriended partner starts to move away, this "friend,family member or well-wisher" automatically feel more comfortable. They feel much more at ease, because now they can relate to a "heartbroken", "not in a relationship", restless and slightly sad individual. This gives them more "psychologically control" in the situation. 

Their obsessive compulsive pursuit for control over a situation makes them blind about the emotional destruction caused. 
While they wrongly call themselves as givers of "unconditional love".. they are only looking towards their "own" happiness.

Most people cannot decipher the deep psychological motives of an individual behind "unconditional help to move out of a relationship", they fail to see the true reasons that triggered their bad breakup.
They live life blaming themselves, their fear, their relationship... They live life creating resentment, anger and hatred against oneself and the other.

Sadly no one looks at the real criminal... He/she walks free, living his/her life in the same sadness, uncomplete life, looking for new targets, and portraying themself as a "giver of love".




Thanks for reading, your queries are welcome @- 

Dr.Hemant Mittal 
(Psychiatrist,Motivational Writer/Speaker and Counselor)

email -
website -

personal consultation @- 
address- Mind Mantra wellness clinic
Shop 15, shreeji plaza, next to ice n spice restaurant, 
opposite seawoods station, 
seawoods (east)
Navi Mumbai - 400706

Thoughts after a Break-UP

Here are some thoughts that one suffers from after a break-up and few realities - 

1. You think you will be weak without him/her... but instead as time passes by and you know he/she is not coming back.. you actually become stronger... 
you become so strong that when you counsel your friends they actually understand you.

your words and body language suddenly has a power you never thought off.

2. You think that you'll be sad, but you learn to laugh harder.
When someone dear to you leaves, it drives you into extreme sadness.

For the first few days people sympathize with you and give you a crying shoulder... then they start leaving you... some may even blame you for being a "cry baby".

Thats when you start "laughing"... like a small child who is learning to walk.. you learn to laugh... 
first you copy those around you, whenever they laugh you laugh.
the sadness persists in your heart, but you laugh...
slowly you laugh more and more.
the more you try, the more you enjoy laughing.

you post photos on Facebook,
you go for vacations
you try and show everyone you are happy.

You actually learn the importance of laughter... and you laugh harder.

3. You think you'll be helpless without him/her... but you actually become smarter.

In a relationship you depend on the other person for everything... even small things are considered token of "love".
Dependency might lead to division of work, but it also creates helplessness.

One has to be self-sufficient to do everything on his/her own... You learn that once you are alone.
This learning is a strength of your personality.

I once counseled this guy who couldn't go to watch a movie alone. He always needed his girl-friend to be with him. Within a few months after his breakup, he actually walked alone into a cinema hall.. it was a liberating experience for him. He understood, there was nothing he couldn't do.

4. You think you'll never grow without him/her, but you actually become wiser.

Your partner might have IQ levels which either too low or too higher than yours... If you don't learn and teach each other there is no growth.
Your mind masks the frustration of not growing emotionally and spiritually under the memories of "love"

Someone of lower IQ will feel frustration cause he/she cannot express themselves without being criticized... and someone of higher IQ will feel frustrated cause he/she cannot express without being misunderstood.

I remember meeting one patient who was in severe depression because she had broken with his long time boyfriend... I asked her what new was she able too do... she said, now she could talk about religion and spirituality with her friends, without being judged.

Actually she and her friends had a very naive idea about spirituality and their thoughts were very much painted by their own intrinsic desires. 
Her ex-boyfriend was much more spiritually enlightened and would find this as a "childish" and "stupid", he wanted her to focus on higher levels. 
Sadly they couldnt understand each other and grow... so they had to move apart to individually grow.

5. you think you'll be broke or miss luxuries but you eventually become happier.

Being in a relationship might provide you with all the luxuries that you want. 
Financial stability is one of the most important reasons to stay in a relationship.
There is fear that if one breaks a relationship, how will they survive.. and how will they get all these benefits.

Its true that initially its very difficult... you might have to struggle for a few months or even a few years.. but if you keep working hard you will start seeking how you become happier and richer.

I remember a guy who I had come to me for counseling during his divorce.
Suddenly from 2 income sources, he was left with his income. Paying his EMI's and Credit Card bills became harder.
Partying, eating out or even going for movies was tougher.

6. You think you cann't live and will die without him/her... but eventually you are living it king/queen size.

The worst part of a break up is the emotional sadness it creates. 
It suddenly breaks your value system. 
Specially in cases where you have been cheated or a 3rd person has been responsible for the break up.

The anger, the negativity, the resentment are expressions of your sadness, that like monsters keep eating you from inside.

Many people aren't able to release these monsters.

Specially in cases were one has been cheated or a 3rd person is responsible for the break-up ... the anger, helplessness and resentment is huge.

Remember your anger is valid... cheating or a 3rd person intervention causing a relationship to break are not at all acceptable... so it good to be angry.
it shows that you value and love yourself.

You have to be careful, because even though this anger is good and a sign of self-love.. its anger in the end... it can become self-destructive and give rise to "crimes of passion".

One will remember that recently Jiah Khan commited suicide.. A few days ago newspapers reported a young woman in kanpur killed her doctor lover because he wouldn't leave his wife... 

Its this anger that needs help.. there are 3 ways to tackle it
a. a friend/family member who can help vent it out
b. a counselor or psychiatrist who can help you
c. self-counseling through use of rational thinking 
or use self-counseling through the process of meditation/spirituality.

the day you are able to control this anger.. you know it will no longer destroy you... you realize how powerful it is.. 
it triggers so many positives subconsciously - 

- you might suddenly become more attractive to the opposite sex.
- your words will carry much more power and people will follow you.
- whatever you do, you will be so involved that it will create more success.
- you will value every happiness in life much more.

many people never realize the positive changes this sadness and anger brings... because they are stuck in old memories... if you realize the positive change it has brought, you might say - its good that relationship ended.


Thanks for reading, your queries are welcome @- 

Dr.Hemant Mittal 
(Psychiatrist,Motivational Writer/Speaker and Counselor)

email -
website -

personal consultation @- 
address- Mind Mantra wellness clinic
Shop 15, shreeji plaza, next to ice n spice restaurant, 
opposite seawoods station, 
seawoods (east)
Navi Mumbai - 400706

Living between the Dance of Love and Lust

Few days ago a, the Supreme Court gave a judgment, which will now allow Dance Bars to re-open within the entire state of Maharashtra.
Within hours of the judgement, the entire world seemed to be discussing it.
While Whatsapp was flooded with jokes...
Twitter and Facebook had a major discussion going on between the moral social implications of the same.
Yesterday, while enjoying the Mumbai Monsoon and a good cup of tea at the local cafe coffee day outlet. I experienced how a group of friends sitting next to me, suddenly changed from a jovial happy mood, to a serious discussion about the "good" and "bad" of Dance Bars.
A fierce debate that eventually became an ego battle.
I heard them angrily destroy and assassinate the character of a "dance bar dancer"...
Slowly the discussion became so full of hate, that everything was blamed on the "dancer". She was called with ugly names and made into the devil who is destroying our culture.
Here I was hearing "moralistic india" talk loud dirt about their own women... So hate loaded did the environment become, that I had to leave my tea in between and walk away.
As I walked back to the clinic, there was a question that wondered in my head... I saw a multitude of woman... at the bus, at the train station, on the roads, at the shops...
And I wondered, any of these women could be a bar dancer... and everyone just treated them so normally.
As soon as anyone of them would wear their "heavy duty makeup" and "performance clothes".. the very people who are walking by them, who are selling them goods, who are nicely talking to them... will start yelling, calling them "evil".. calling them different synonyms of "prostitute".. blaming them for the deterioration of "indian culture".
At the clinic, while taking a break in-between counseling sessions, I had a sad feeling inside of me... A feeling which last time I had experienced more than 5 years ago...
5yrs ago, a woman had called me for an appointment. Speaking in nice english and very nicely dressed... she was every bit a middle class indian lady with her child.
During the counseling session that she told me that she worked as a bar dancer, who did go that extra-mile ahead for the money.
She had come to my clinic for her 12yr old child.
A kid who openly knew about his mothers profession, didn't know who his father was, but was extremely motivated to become a doctor.
Having seen the effects of physical abuse against her mother by "her clients"... the kid had developed a severe worry, that one day she might not return from work.
It was a normal to be worried... Every child worries about their parents, this child's worry would have been more because he had seen the mother had bruise marks, bite marks and even a black eye.
But the "friends" he had confided into, had told him, this is because your mother is a bad woman who has chosen such a horrendous profession.
The child did need medicine for his problem... and it worked great for him.
In the last appointment she had taken... she said.. can I say something doctor.
i said - sure go ahead.
she said - "you know, I didn't choose this profession... The profession chose me... I don't want to seek sympathy on how I was drugged, raped and trapped into this profession...
I don't want to seek sympathy for I was a good student who could have created a career in a BPO and maked a decent living...
I don't want to seek sympathy for how men use and abuse me every day...
Every day when we pray to god before the bar opens... I thank god... I am so strong and practical that I can handle anything... because today i have conquered my body, mind and my emotional pain.
I just have a small dream.... I have gone to US and saw how even their porn stars get lot of fans and respect.
I had gone to Amsterdam, and I saw how the prostitutes over there are proudly flaunting themselves.
I just dream one day, people will not judge us... We are so strong that we can take all the blame they put on us... but why judge us, when everyone is part of creating me and thousands of my sisters."

Thanks for reading, your queries are welcome @-
Dr.Hemant Mittal
(Psychiatrist,Motivational Writer/Speaker and Counselor)
email -
website -
personal consultation @-
address- Mind Mantra wellness clinic
Shop 15, shreeji plaza, next to ice n spice restaurant,
opposite seawoods station,
seawoods (east)
Navi Mumbai - 400706

unlucky or lucky??

Frane Selak, a Croatian music teacher, began his unlucky streak in 1962 on a train going from Sarajevo to Dubrovnik. The train unexplainably jumped the tracks and fell into an icy river killing 17 passengers.
Selak managed to swim to shore suffering from hypothermia and a broken arm. A year later while on an airplane, its door flew off and Selak was sucked out of the airplane. The plane crashed and he woke up in a hospital. He’d been found in a haystack.
Then in 1966, Selak was on a bus that went off the road and into a river. Four people were killed, but he suffered minor injuries.
In 1970, his car caught on fire and he stopped it and got out just before the whole car blew up. In 1973, Selak was driving another car when a faulty fuel line sprayed gas all over the engine and flames blew through his air vents. His only injury was the loss of most of his hair.
In ’95 he was hit by a bus, but on sustained minor injuries. Finally in 1996 he was driving on a mountain road when he went around a bend and saw a truck coming right at him. He ran is car through a guardrail and jumped out to watch his car blow up 300 feet below him.
In 2003, Selak bought a lottery ticket for the first time in 40 years at the age of 74. He ended up winning $1 million.
Moral - If you have faith in yourself and patience to enjoy the moment, then you will get much more than what you can dream for.
Thanks for reading, your queries are welcome @-
Dr.Hemant Mittal
(Psychiatrist,Motivational Writer/Speaker and Counselor)
email -
website -
personal consultation @-
address- Mind Mantra wellness clinic
Shop 15, shreeji plaza, next to ice n spice restaurant,
opposite seawoods station,
seawoods (east)
Navi Mumbai - 400706

Loving more than one person at the same time.

Over the years I have met so many cases were a man is in love with two ladies, or a lady is in love with two gentleman.

Most of these individuals ask me - 
is it possible?
isn't it unholy?
is it against our moral belief?

For years they are burdened by questions. Their mind tells them - 
its not possible, you have to choose one.
its unholy, you will be punished by god for it.
its against morality, and this makes you a "bad human being".

These answers create extreme stress inside. Their mind is always restless. Always looking for the answers to - 
who should I choose of the two?
every pain i feel in life is because this "bad karma"!
I am the worth spouse/parent/sibling as I set a wrong example.!!

finally a situation comes, when the individual is in so restlessness, that he/she takes one of the following decisions - 
a. chose one partner. In most cases the one who "society" accepts.
b. break both relationships and run away
c. feeling extremely guilty - for which one spends excessive time and resources, either praying to god seeking for pardon or helping lesser fortunate so that the "karma balances itself"
d. preaching "moral values" to all relatives/friends. this comes from the feeling - if I have not followed the moral code doesn't mean I don't know the code very well. By making others follow the code, I will become "moralistic and right" in front of others.

This creates depression. They are numb. They might be enjoying the moment, but they are never 100% happy... They always feel a sense of incompleteness.
This incompleteness becomes a depression.
A depression thats loaded with guilt, anger and resentment against self. 
And even they are the greatest of free birds in the world, they feel en-caged. 

So can one person love two at the same time.
answer is yes and no.

I know it sounds confusing, but the truth lies inside of you. 
We all have a personal definition of love.
This definition is adds a lot of conditions to love. 
The most common conditions seeked for love are 
a. personality of lover, 
b. financial status
c. mutual possessiveness
d. sexual compatibility
e. emotional stimulation by talking on topics of common interest.
d. social acceptance.

While at the start of most monogamous relationships, an individual compromises on some of the above "needs and conditions" of love.... as time passes one starts to crave for them... and as the craving increases, one is naturally attracted to a person who can satisfy them.
That's the time one feels he/she is in love with 2 people at the same time.

So a person can be naturally in love with more than one person, but you have to understand the grades of your conditional love that are being satisfied.

The most important thing to accept is that you have conditional love. 
The moment you call it unconditional, you let all forms of morality and questions of karma haunt you.
The moment you accept your love is conditional you accept you are selfish... You are doing things for your own selfish pleasure.

There is nothing wrong in being selfish... But when you accept it, you free yourself from the mind-games... You free yourself from being a saint or the devil... 
you free yourself from the compulsions of being "perfect"
you enjoy the moment and accept yourself as an evolving individual.

Now comes the tricky part.

If you accept your love is conditional and henceforth you are selfish, then you have to accept that every action is done for your own happiness.

The pain that you might have caused to others by "breaking their expectations"
The pain that you might have caused to yourself by "not living upto moral values"
The pain that you fight everyday, is because you are fighting against your natural self.

While your heart asks you too be involved and enjoy everything you want, your brain puts conditioning to it.

The moment you accept that you are conditional and selfish, you bring your heart and brain on the same level. 
You are above every pain.. and enjoying the moment is essential.
Thats when you are natural.
Thats when you are in touch with your own true self.

Accept your true self. 
Some people love to give, others love to receive, others are neutral... but everyone has conditions to their love...

Being unconditional is breaking all these and living free.. living detached from everything... living in silence.

Thanks for reading, your queries are welcome @- 

Dr.Hemant Mittal 
(Psychiatrist,Motivational Writer/Speaker and Counselor)

email -
website -

personal consultation @- 
address- Mind Mantra wellness clinic
Shop 15, shreeji plaza, next to ice n spice restaurant, 
opposite seawoods station, 
seawoods (east)
Navi Mumbai - 400706