Prevent Relationship Failure - 5 points that are base for any long term successful relationships.

As a relationship counselor over the past few years, one of my major observations has been that "modern relationships are like glass, a small issue can cause a deep crack, and one downfall can lead to breakage"

The following issues are extremely important for:

A. those who are planning to enter into a long term relationship
B. those who are in a committed relationship, but find the "love quotient" diminishing every day.
C. those who are married, but unsatisfied.

These issues are normally not discussed due to lack of communication, fear of hurting the spouse or moral values.

99% times, such unresolved issues slowly built up immense emotional pain, which is suppressed till the day it explodes in a very negative way.

1. Past Relationships
Talking about the coveted ex- is normally looked upon as threatening by most partners.
If ever discussed, it’s initially greeted with sympathy which over time becomes extreme irritation.
While it’s easy to ask someone to bury his/her emotions about their past, in practice its impossible.

2. Looks
While it can be said that 90% men start a long term relationship based on the looks of their partner, the same is not true for most women. Majority of women seek a financial and social security from their male partners.

With time as looks start to fade off, men have higher tendencies to start fantasizing about younger women. This can be dangerous symptoms for giving rise to the "cheating husband" syndrome.

3. Finance
Money rules modern day society. With desires becoming more materialistic, happiness is proportional to the size of your bank account.

Money and Spending habits are a big point of discord among couples. The dominant partner always feels it to be his/her birth-right to spend more. They also tend to throw tantrums when their spouse wants to spend or meet his/her materialistic desires.

4. Simplicity is over-looked
what is your partners favorite color?
what is your partners favorite song?
what is your partners favorite dish?
what is your partners favorite time of the day?
who is your partners best friend?
which cricket player is your partners favorite?
which brand of shoes fits the best for your partner?
Which bag/accessories did you partner last buy?

As humans our brain works wonderfully to understand all complex issues of life, but forgets the simplest of all.
Simple daily life can teach us how to always keep our partner pleased. Most people start taking their partner for granted and tend to over look the simplest.

5. Sexual Desires
Most couples never discuss about their sexual likes or dislikes. Sexual life’s are always bipolar. Either they start as very pleasing or as very traumatizing.
As a relationship progresses, the taboo of talking about sex can push one partner to explore other possibilities like pornography or extra-marital affairs.

Most cases leave these topics to resolve on their own. Unfortunately, they don’t resolve but are potential catalysts for development of inferiority complex, day long mental restlessness, depression or sexual experimentation outside wed-lock.

1. Make communication the base of your relationship
2. If you are having too many secrets slowly one by one, work them out with your spouse.
3. It’s never late to seek professional help. Professional help will help you vent out the problem and get a neutral un-biased opinion on how to solve the issue.

Thanks for Reading,
Dr.Hemant Mittal (MBBS, PGDPM)
Motivator – Counselor – Psychiatrist
For free online consultancy email at

The guide to a better life

The guide to a better life

Computer Science professor Randy Pausch died of pancreatic cancer in 2008, but wrote a book ‘The last lecture” before then, one of the best-sellers in 2007.
In a letter to his wife Jai and his children, Dylan, Logan, and Chloe, he wrote this beautiful "guide to a better life" for his wife and children to follow.


1. Don't compare your life to others'. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
2. Don't have negative thoughts of things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment
3. Don't over do; keep your limits
4. Don't take yourself so seriously; no one else does
5. Don't waste your precious energy on gossip
6. Dream more while you are awake
7. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need..
8. Forget issues of the past. Don't remind your partner of his/her mistakes of the past. That will ruin your present happiness.
9. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. Don't hate others.
10. Make peace with your past so it won't spoil the present
11. No one is in charge of your happiness except you
12. Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.
13. Smile and laugh more
14. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

15. Call your family often
16. Each day give something good to others
17. Forgive everyone for everything
18. Spend time with people over the age of 70 & under the age of 6
19. Try to make at least three people smile each day
20. What other people think of you is none of your business
21. Your job will not take care of you when you are sick. Your family and friends will. Stay in touch.

22. Put GOD first in anything and everything that you think, say and do.
23. GOD heals everything
24. Do the right things
25. However good or bad a situation is, it will change
26. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up
27. The best is yet to come
28. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful
29. When you awake alive in the morning, thank GOD for it
30. If you know GOD you will always be happy. So, be happy.

Thanks to Mrs.Madhavi Elaprolu for forwarding this email.
Thanks for reading,

Dr.Hemant Mittal (MBBS, PG.DPM)
For free email counseling –

The Burning Incense - A soul search for happiness at emotional, biological and spiritual planes.

The Burning Incense Stick....

Most people of the Indian Sub-continent are conditioned to immediately relating the aroma of an incense stick with something mystical, religious and spiritual.
This conditioning gives this aroma the unique property to slowly glide itself into each corner of a room, leaving those present with a sense of tranquility and peace. 
It's amazing how a small think like an incense stick can many times trigger peace and happiness within the clustered mind.

I am no preacher of right and wrong, but i am an expert in understanding the biological, psychological and spiritual  functioning of the human mind. And i do understand, like all of you, the basic, inner-most feeling, dominating our mind-body-soul complex is HAPPINESS.

"its so simple to be happy, but so difficult to be simple"

is so true.

The quintessential search for happiness, is a never-ending human story, that starts with birth and ends up with death. How many attain it? may be all or may be none or maybe some...the answer is inconsequential, but the realisation of it is.

HAPPINESS as seen from a psychological point has following parts :

1. the biological reason for happiness

2. the emotional reason for happiness.

3. the spiritual or mystical reason for happiness.

1. The Biological Reason:

Our brain is the master of the body. So is it the master of our emotions. its a highly complex network of nerves and matter,that communicates within itself thru chemicals called neuro-transmitters. It communicates with the body thru chemicals called hormones. The brain tries its level best to maintain a harmony or homeostatis between these chemicals and neuro-transmitters. Sometimes genetics or the environment trigger a huge demand for a particular chemical, depleating it and leading to negative emotions, attitudes and behaviours.

e.g. depression can be caused by the depletion of neuro-transmitter serotonin, which is triggered by an environmental factor.

2. The emotional Reason:

An individual's psychology is a book, whose pages he starts writing the day he is born.

From the 1st month of life, we start learning certain emotions, attitudes and behaviours. We start learning responses to situations, we start learning to how to cope with situations,overall we start learning how to emotionally move ahead every day in life. All this learning goes into the UNCONCIOUS MIND, and after 5yrs of age, we start acting according to the learnt. When thinks dont happen according to us, we display negative emotions. And when they happen according to us, we display positive emotions. Once we are exposed to too much of an emotion...positive or negative...we develop changes in our personality that later become disorders. e.g too much positive emotions can make you arrogant and angery which can lead to bad decisions in critical time. vis-a-vis too much of negative emotions can make you sad, irritable that can lead to self-harm or self-destruction.

3. The Spiritual Reason:

Spiritually we are all souls in this universe. A soul, is a source of energy. We are dominated by positive and negative energies. The balance should always favor the positive energy and not the negative one. As the bias changes to negative energy, the more dangerous it becomes for our mind and body.

e.g. people telling you constantly that you are bad, surrounds you with negative vibes, that can lead to irritation, sadness, and anger. vis-a-vis keeping a positive approach will lead to victory in any battle coming your way.

Coming back to our little incense stick.... It embodies the meaning of happiness inside of it. It walks thru its life burning the right chemicals, surrounded with positive energy and balances our emotions. so

"is it so difficult to keep it simple?"
thanks for reading,
Dr.Hemant Mittal (MBBS, PGDPM)
free email counseling -

Cricket and its significance in life

Hello friends,

I present for you a downloadable powerpoint presentation that shows how cricket teaches each one of us the mantras for success in life.
click on the following link:
thank you,
Dr.Hemant Mittal (MBBS, PGDPM)
free email counseling -

Why you should play "holi"?

Holi is the most colorful of all festivals celebrated within the hindu calendar. A festival more associated with the northern part of the country, is animatedly celebrated by one and all, to symbolise the spirit of togetherness.

The religious history and modern day significance behind "holi"

1. Holi is traditionally attributed to the day, when the female demon "holika" was killed. The hindu scriptures mention that Holika was blessed with the power of being resistant to fire. Her brother, the king Hiranyakaship, who felt threatend by the rising popularity and preachings of his own son Prahald, ordered her to take him and and sit into a burning pyre. As faith would have it, it was not Prahald (a sincere devotee of god) but Holika who got burnt.

Modern day skeptics and logic-thinkers can have head-banging debates on the incidents involved in this religious preaching. The holistic purpose of this incident was to teach  mankind a few very important traits needed for healthy, peaceful and happy living.

a. Faith is a friend. Good and Bad times are a test of this friendship.  
 "a friend in need is a friend indeed".
He/she who sticks by you during your bad times really loves you for who you are and not for what you have.

Prahlad's friend was his faith in god. His faith always remained the same. He didn't forget it when he was happy, and didn't plead to it for "help" only when he was sad. He was true to his friendship with faith.

If your faith in god remains same during good and bad times, nothing can take you away from the path of happiness.

b. Your deeds are being monitored.
Holika had been blessed with the power of never being hurt by fire. But she still died by fire burns. Does this mean that god back-tracked and broke his promise?
Power, Money and Fame are given by god. No matter how powerful, rich or famous you become, that factor called luck or destiny that propelled you to get them was an act from god.
Like all grants, these also come with a set of rules. They will stick with you till the moment you start using them to hurt and harm other people. As your abuse towards others will increase, a day will come when your account of good deeds will empty and your bad time will start.

c. Fear of losing what you treasure, kills reasoning.
Hiranyakaship was so happy and content with his power that he didn't want to lose it. When he felt that it was being threatened by his own son, he didn't think twice before ordering his death.
At that moment even all his close advisors, family and friends couldn't make him understand that if he had embraced his son, he could have lived as a powerful king for ages to come.

When you start fearing the loss of what you have, you start commiting mistakes. The more you fear the lesser you reason. The lesser you reason, the more mistakes you make. And mistakes eventually can destory every chance of success and happiness you might seek.

d. Keep loyal people always close to you.
"in a game of chess, even a pawn can kill the king"
In a world motivated by selfish gains, loyality is becoming a scarce commodity.
Hiranyakaship in his moment of despair had a loyal Hollika with him. And Prahlad in his moment of test was loyal to god.
Always respect loyalty.

2. The second big religious significance of holi, comes from Lord Krishna performing the "Raaslila" with hundreds of his gopis.

The modern day significance of the same:

a. play holi with the mind-set to spread love not hatred.
b. forget all enemity and extend the hand of friendship to even your worst enemy
c. "bhang and other intoxicating substances" are used to decrease your inhibitions and help you enjoy the festivities.
Don't abuse them or use them to get "unwanted" advantages from other people.
d. the festivity is all about spreading love, fun and happiness.


Thanks for reading

Dr.Hemant Mittal (MBBS, PGDPM)
Emotional, Behavioral And Sexual Health consultant - Motivator at Mind Mantra
for free email consultancy -

Lose Weight at Home

Lose Weight at Home

Body weight and Body structure is largely dependent upon a persons self-esteem. Very few have the capacity to be happy and content with their body size irrespective of social pressures. The great majority lies onto the opposite pole, where even the slightest of "comments" can bring about severe decrease in self-esteem and self-image.

"Weight Gain" is a modern day emotional and behavioral disorder, which is secretly fought within the minds of those suffering from it. 90% suffers of "weight gain",  love to live in denial for the greatest time possible. Quick fix solutions to remove unwanted "fat" from desired area within hours, day or weeks, makes them even more casual in their approach towards healthy lifestyle.

Losing weight isn't very difficult. Losing weight doesn't need to be a torture. Losing weight can happen at home.

1. Eat to suit your body not your mind.
scientific fact - the part of your brain that controls hunger or the brain appetite center is affected by the emotions you experience.
The more emotional or mentally restless you get, the more your hormones and chemicals your brain secretes. These stimulate the brain appetite center to increase hunger.

Remember - Eat whatever you want, but within the portions that suit your body not your mind.

2. It becomes impossible to control your hunger.
scientific fact  -once triggered, the brain appetite center can increase your hunger unimaginable levels. At that very moment nothing seems more important than eating, and controlling hunger becomes impossible.

It might not be possible to control your hunger, but its possible to control what you put in your mind.
When feeling extremely hungry, chew gum, drink juices or eat vegetables/fruits.

3. Eat don't starve.
scientific fact - starvation leads the body into "salvation mode". This means every thing you eat is converted into fat and stored for time of decreased energy levels.

The biggest mistake people make in the name of diet is to starve. Remain hungry for hours and days. Never starve yourself, eat regularly and in controlled portions.

4. Diets are boring.
Scientific fact - Most people default on diets because of the lack of taste they experience. Diets are considered as tortures.

Learn to cook healthy. A new breed of specialized cooking classes have started which teach you "low calorie" food whihc taste equal or better than "high calorie" food.

I personally attended the classess organised by "The Cilantro Kitchen" in mumbai (you can search for them on Facebook or google). And I today make some great low calorie food using oil, choclates, cream, etc.

5. Exercise is good but not the best weapon.
scientific fact - In a short period of time, 80% of a desired body weight can be lost by diet control, compared to 20% lost by exercise.

Exercise are important to increase your body metabolism. That means, when you keep eating, your body gets within the habit of accumulating fat. Exercise makes sure that your body breaks this habit.

You don't need to hit the gym and hurt every single muscle in your body. Just resolve to brisk walking, good stretching, walking up and down the stair case, dancing in front of the t.v., etc for 20-30min at least 3times a week.

6. Laugh
Scientific fact - Laughter is a wonderful fat burner. It increases your metabolism, helps you burn calories and keeps you happy

7. Go shopping
Shopping is a wonderful de-stressing activity. It also requires a lot of physical activity. While going for shopping make sure you take breaks at regular intervals. During these intervals makes sure that you Sit down, relax, have water and donot eat. 
Stop the habit of ending your shopping expeditions with huge meals. Instead celebrate with a fresh fruit juice.
Thanks for reading,
For any further assistance feel free to contact,
Dr.Hemant Mittal (MBBS, DPM, MBPS)
private/telephonic/clinic based consultation refer to
free email consultancy at -

The World Cup of Cricket and Your Health

The World Cup of Cricket and Your Health

Cricket is just not a game, but a passion and religion within the sub-continent. Its biggest extravaganza, the world cup is here. As the matches get more and more intresting, they ignite the passion and excitement within the viewers.

Unfortunately the extreme excitement that some matches generate can create a problem in certain individuals. The extreme excitement triggers the brain to increase the blood circulation by multiple times. This increased blood circulation causes release of various chemicals which leads to, physical effects like:
a. increased pressure over the heart
b. extreme anxiety- seen as tremors in the hands, sweating,
c. breathlessness
d. extreme flow of blood in the brain
e. you might feel dizzy, or light headed, even some may faint
f. sudden increase in body temperature
g. feeling your own heart beat.

If left uncontrolled these symptoms can lead to :
a. heart attacks
b. panic attacks
c. bad dreams
d. sleep troubles
e. extreme irritation and anger
f. post-traumatic stress, with flash back images roaming in the mind
g. mental restlessness
h. bad digestive system
i. decreased immune system
j. headaches
k. decreased sex drive
l. depression
In simple language, the excessive flow of blood can cause the breakage of veins in certain individuals. The individuals most susceptible are:
a. those who have high blood pressure
b. those with heart problems.
c. those who are extremely sensitive personalities
d. those who have been diagnosed or under treatment for generalised anxiety or OCD
e. those who have breathing problem
f. those who have addictions like smoking and alcohol.

Such individuals, during exciting and tense moments, should:
a. use methods like deep breathing to calm their nerves
b. drink more water
c. offer a prayer with closed eyes (if they believe in god)
d. avoid the tense situations
e. keep blood pressure or anti-stress medicines handy.
f. avoid heavy foods and heavy drinking during the match.

thanks for reading,

Dr.Hemant Mittal (MBBS, PGDPM)
Emotional, Behavioral, Memory, Sleep and Sexual Health Consultant Mind Mantra
free online consultation - email at

Relationship Killer - Possessiveness or Conditional Love

Relationship Killer - Conditional Love or Possessiveness

The long term success of a relationship depends on the intensity of love within the partners. Possessiveness is one of the major enemies of love. It’s dangerous enough to smother a happy relationship to death.

Where does it come from?

Possessiveness commonly originates from one or more of the following causes:
a. Presence of Insecurity – personal or social
b. Fear of losing your partner
c. A Flirtatious partner
d. A relationship based on intense “conditional” love rather than “unconditional” love
e. Controlling type of Personality in one of the partner. The need to control each movement of his/her partner becomes elementary to their existence.
f. Clinical levels of depression or anxiety within a partner.
g. Childhood incidences that create a craving for dependency and need to be loved/appreciated.

Common Excuses for presence of possessiveness?

Every week I meet couples ranging from teenagers to retired individuals, who have suffered and had their “healthy” relationships torn apart by the evil of possessiveness.
It’s routine that in maximum such cases, the possessive partner knows about his/her trait. He/she commonly hide behind big words and big “Excuses” to prevent others from directly blaming them for failure of the relationship.

The most commonly used excuses are:
a. Out of Intense love
b. Demand for 100% honesty
c. Moral and religious values/duties
d. Guiding the other partner because of intellectual superiority.

The blunt truth is, they failed and are responsible for the failure of the relationship. The more they explain it, the more hurt they create for themselves and those around them.

How does Possessiveness destroy a relationship?

Possessiveness is a termite that slowly sips into your relationship and destroys it. What initially is described as sweet, cute or act of affection can turn to become an ever growing cancer that suffocates a relationship.

Some of the most common altered behavior patterns shown by an over possessive individual, that can lead to suffocation and death of a relationship are (presence of two or more of the following):
a. Extreme Suspiciousness
b. Keep track of every single act of their partner. This shows through sending ten’s to hundreds of sms or phone calls per day.
c. Finding hidden meaning within the glance, look or conversation of their partner with the opposite sex.
d. Seeking and expecting, an explanation and permission for every social act to be carried out by their partner.
e. Confrontation on minor issues at daily basis.
f. Extreme outburst of anger at private and public places.
g. Emotional fatigue and need to “run away” felt or expressed by the oppressed partner.
h. Extreme opinion over family and friends of their partner. The opinions can be from simple verbal descriptions to preventing him/her from meeting them.
i. Failure to solve such issues by talking it out, by making promises or by seeking “counseling” from friends or elders.

What is the Solution to this problem?

Possessiveness is the biggest example of "conditional love". The actions are a way of subconsciously saying "if you don't do as i say, i will not give you love"
There is no simple solution for this problem. Once set in, it requires careful and detailed introspection and firm steps need to be taken, if an individual is interested in his/her happiness.

a. If repeated communication attempts, “counseling” by friends, family and elders fails, then professional consult is extremely important.
b. Presence of physical violence in any form should prompt a person to immediately leave the relationship.
c. 90% of such relationships never prosper to become happy. Most partners confine to sadness and depression because of the choice of “living with it”
d. “ending the relationship” is an option that should be kept in mind, when things don’t seem to prosper.

The base of a healthy relationship is “unconditional” love, trust and space. If this is not present or if one partner is incapable of giving the same, then it’s time to move ahead.

Free email
Follow me on Twitter -!/HemanttMittal

Dr.Hemant Mittal
(MBBS,PGDPM, MBPS, MD(Mind Mantra wellness concepts))
Motivational Speaker - Mind Trainer – Emotional, Behavioral,
Sleep, Memory and Sexual Health Consultant at Mind Mantra. ( )

Housewife Hurdles

Dear Friend,

if you are or you have a mother, sister, wife or friend who is a "housewife". then this presentation will help you understand them better.
it will help you bring happiness to their face and life.
Dr.Hemant Mittal

Is lack of SLEEP causing you problems?


1.    Normal Sleep Requirements

Age and condition

Average amount of sleep per day
5–12 years
9–11 hours
Adults, including elderly
7–8 (+) hours
Pregnant women
8(+) hours

2.    Sleep debt
Sleep debt is the "time gap" created in the body, due to difference in-between perfect sleep and not getting enough sleep. 
For example If  an adult who needs 8hrs of perfect sleep just gets 6hrs, then his body is deficient by 2hrs. 
As the debt keeps increasing, the body requires more and more energy to perform regular functions. This prompts the brain to "shut-down" many processes, leading to emotional, psychological and physical fatigue.
Over-eating, increased smoking/drinking, body pains, headaches, recurrent cold-cough are examples of increased body energy needs leading to shut-down of basic mind-body functions.

3.    Body Restoration
One of the major functions of sleep is to provide the body with a peaceful environment. It’s during this time that the body takes care of repairing, fighting and restoring any process outside the normal functioning.
Test have proven that decreased amount of “sound and restorative sleep”, leads to:
a.     Increased body pains
b.   Decreased body immunity - recurrent illness like cold, cough, skin infections(acne), hair fall, etc.
c.     Decreased  healing of wounds
d.    Decreased production of essential hormones. 
e.  Decreased Sexual Performance.

4.    Memory
Extensive research has shown that lack of proper sleep, causes changes within the brain structure. 
Sign of brain structure changes is the inability to concentrate for longer periods, inability to take decisions at the same speed as earlier, problems remembering recent topics (like where things are kept, what was spoken a few hours ago, tasks at hand, etc). 
This causes a decrease in personal and professional performance of an individual.

5.    Dreaming
Dreams are extremely important for the proper functioning of the conscious and subconscious mind. They are an outlet of release of emotions and also can tell a lot about a person's future course of action. 
Lack of Proper sleep can induce negative dreaming patterns. These are not only disturbing to the conscious but also tend to induce negativity within life. 

Sleep is an essential body process, which majority of people neglect. Don't let your body-brain-mind suffer, get your problems cured today.

For any further query, feel free to email me at: 

Visit the Wellness Clinic For complete consultation on the above or any other emotional, sleep, memory or sexual health related issues. 

FEEL FREE to contact me at-

Dr.Hemant Mittal  (MBBS, PG.DPM, M.D.(Mind Mantra Wellness Concepts - Mumbai))
Website -         
WELLNESS CLINIC address - Next to Seawood Station (east), Navi Mumbai, Mumbai (India)
Facebook Group -

Have you ever started something and never been able to complete it?

Have you ever started something and never been able to complete it?

Worldwide scientific and psychiatric research has found that procrastination ( or tendency to replace high priority tasks with low priority ones till later stage) is a behavior pattern due to presence of certain negative personality traits or presence of disturbed emotional states.

Such a behavior pattern can become a habit and prevent a person from achieving success. The failure to achieve the planned can such an individual into clinical depression.

Most of the times, a procrastinating individual is extremely comfortable within a psychologically created “barrier or comfort zone”. This blindfolds him/her from being truly analytical about the problem at hand and the solution for the same.

The following psychometric questionnaire can help you find out the reasons why such behavior is happening.
1. Do you have problems completing a project because you set high standards that are not met?
2. Are you preoccupied with details, rules and schedules much more than others are?
3. Do you plan a lot but rarely start even one of your plans?
4. Do you wait for opportunities to fall into your lap, rather than “going and getting” them for yourself?
5. Do you get “stressed up” before the start of a project?
6. Do you think negatively about yourself at the start of any project?
7. Are you hesitant to move out of your “comfort zone” and start a new project?
8. Do you become irritable, anger and/or argumentative when you are asked to do something you aren’t comfortable doing?
9. Do you take offense, and form negative impressions about people, who tend to give suggestions on how you should increase your productivity?
10. Are you big risk taker in your life, you take decisions spontaneously without much consultation on its outcomes?
11. Are you not at all a risk taker in your life, and prefer to do everything after consultation with others?
12. Do you do your work only at last minute?
13. Do you have difficulty saying “no” to others, and then feel resentful about the same?
14. Do you feel that you are not accomplishing what you want from life?
15. Do you experience feelings like fear, butterflies in the stomach, breathlessness, sinking inside yourself or tremors in your hands whenever you have to start a project, give a presentation or submit a report?

Kindly answer all the questions in “yes or no”
For free email analysis, Send copy and paste all the questions along with answers into an email and send them to
(replies that don’t have all the questions and answers will not be analyzed)

Thanks for reading,

Dr.Hemant Mittal (MBBS, PGDPM)
Emotional, Behavioral, Memory, sleep and sexual health consultant at Mind Mantra
Motivator, Counselor, and Neuro-Psychiatrist
Free online consultation – email at