The rising divorce rate in the corporate sector

The Corporate boom in India has been one of the biggest socio-economic driving factors over the last 10years.

However every boom, has a price..
It takes a look over the data available over the last few years, to notice the alarming rise in divorce rate among the sector.

The main causes for the same are -
1. The main cause is lack of physical proximity between partners -
a. physical presence to share thoughts and events of day is essential for a relationship - erratic working hours, work pressure, big travelling times, devoid many couples of this physical togetherness, creating a sense of loneliness, anger, irritation.

b. sexual dissatisfaction - long working hours, sedentary jobs, obesity, cigarette addiction, stress are all known to destroy the sexual self of an individual.
In relationships where couples already lack physical togetherness, not able to have satisfactory sexual relationships leads to further denting the idea of "marriage".
One has to understand that sex plays an essential part in creating togetherness specially in the first few years of marriage.

(couples try and compensate by spending the weekend together... but when the weekend also starts to get affected, it becomes difficult to handle)

2. Financial freedom
3. Lack of financial security - lack of a house or "desired" monthly income, creates insecurity and fights.
4. emotional and sexual proximity to office colleagues,
5. Lack of appreciation at home,
6. wife earning more than husband... or husband earning very less as per wife's expectations.
7. Long term commitment issues - Getting married without understanding the meaning of a long term commitment.
8. Adjustment issues - courtship period is very "rosy and happy".. post marriage one has to make a lot of personal, social and family adjustments. Making such adjustments might give rise to anxiety and anger.. leading to divorce.

The worrying problem is that a great majority of divorces are not by "mutual understanding"... There is a lot of emotional negativity that is exchanged between the "one in deep love" partners.

And even in majority of those which are through "mutual understanding", there is a lot of underlying negativity which is manifested through different ways.

This negativity is normally released in very "self-destructing" forms -

1. commonest is addictions - alcohol, nicotine, food, drugs and promiscuous sex.
2. clinical depression - which normally manifests as a sadness of mood, which comes along with mood swings.
3. decreased faith from the institution of marriage
4. decreased efforts put into constructing a long term marriage.
5. fight with parents, over age old indian belief of "one life one marriage".
6. higher level of criticism and grudges against people.

Today, couples do not try and work out the marriage as they are confident they can lead a life without each other as both are financially stable.

Every family members, judges, lawyers, priests and psychiatrists who has ever "counseled" someone seeking separation or divorce, has said that the need of the hour is to strike the right balance between work and family.

The really ironic part is that all these counselings sessions - push individuals to make big promises and changes which don't last more than 10-15days.. after that the situation is back to the old.

A friend once said that we are failing to follow our age old moral and religious codes.. because of which we are seeing this deterioration in family values...

I would say that today corporate work pressures don't give one time to think and act upon moral and religious codes.

Its illogical to ask someone to let go of his/her corporate work because it will create an inferiority complex.

and henceforth ironically the fight to find the middle path were work pressures, material desires, psychological needs and sexual wants are all satisfied is becoming more and more individual based.

by -

Dr.Hemant Mittal
(Psychiatrist and Counselor)
email –
website –
address- 15, shreeji plaza, next to ice n spice restaurant, opposite seawoods station, seawoods (east)
Navi Mumbai

What is Your Attachment style?

Attachment is a special emotional relationship that involves an exchange of comfort, care, and pleasure.

its also been described as - the lasting psychological connectedness between human beings.

Attachment Style -
There are 4 broad types of attachments -

1. Proximity Maintenance - The desire to be near the one you are attached to. Quality is measured by physical proximity.

2. Safe Haven - Returning to the attachment figure for comfort and safety only in the face of a fear or threat.
In happy or comfortable environment, the individual might neglect the attachment figure(s).

3. Secure Base - The attachment figure acts as a base of security from which one can explore the surrounding environment.
One comes back to narrate his/her explorations to the attachment figure.. and requires his/her approvals.

4. Separation Distress - Restlessness and stress dominate the mind, in absence of the attachment figure.
Even thoughts of going away from the attachment figure makes one unstable, and disrupts the mind.

You can have different attachment styles with different people... attachment styles might change with time.
Attachment styles also define the psychological impact on an individual in your life.

Best relationships are those in which attachment styles are matching...

Severe Conflicts in attachment styles can lead to -
clinical depression
clinical levels of anxiety
mood swings
anger - ranging from mild to violent outbursts
relationships disruptions.

by -

Dr.Hemant Mittal
(Psychiatrist and Counselor)
email –
website –
address- 15, shreeji plaza, next to ice n spice restaurant, opposite seawoods station, seawoods (east)
Navi Mumbai

God gives Tony the power to change 1 life

A man named Tony, was complainting and cursing God for making him fearful and giving him a non-worthy life.
Suddenly god came to him and said.. fear is in your mind...and I have given you chance too conquer your mind.
Tony got angry and said- you like everyone else just talks.. talks and talks... get out of here... you made me miserable.
God said.. - ok... come with me.. as a punishment to myself I will give you the chance to change the life of one soul on earth.
Delighted Tony went with god...
Suddenly he was transported to a big room with a giant screen on it.
The screen showed all the souls in the world... one particular one was constantly blinking red.
Tony asked - whats that.
God replied - the most scared soul im the world.
Tony - who it is..
God - its a small mouse... he has been hungry for 4days... scared of the cat outside he is just staying within the safety of his home... he is about to die of hunger.
Tony felt he could relate to the mouse.. so decided to help him.
Suddenly god gave him all powers to help that one particular soul.
Full with sympathy, Tony decided to turn the mouse into a cat so to cure its fears.
As soon he did that, the red dot on the screen stopped blinking.
Tony was happy and smiling... within few moments the screen showed the same soul again in fear.
Tony asked - what now.
God - the soul you made into a cat is now fearful of the dog outside the house.
Tony again used his powers and made him a dog.
Again a few moments later the blinking started.
God - he is now fearful of the human neighbour with a stick.
Tony made him into a well built man with a stick... a few moments later again the same soul was blinking...
God - now he is fearful of living in such a small house
Tony made him rich... gave him a good job... gave him a faithful wife... gave him a perfect life...
but again a few moments later the blinking started...
Tony frustrated asked... now what! I have given him everything..
God smiled and said - now he is afraid of the small mouse living inside his house.
Tony looked towards God... said - thank you..
God innocently asked him - why?
Tony - fear doesnt go by achieving name, fame or power... there is nothing called SAFETY...
The only safe think is to release your fear and jump into action..
I have always been the mouse... searching for power and fame... but those would have been of no use if I keep having this fear...
original story By-
Dr.Hemant Mittal
Email -

4 strategies to bring positive change.

Until or unless you are not suffering from a Personality Disorder, your personality is a flexible. 

A child when goes to school, changes his personality to adjust to the school.. The same child, adjusts it again when he goes to college as an adolescent.. then as a young adult in Job.. and then as an adult in marriage/parenthood, etc.

Accepting change is one of the major needs of Personality Development... And its the process of accepting this change which is called as adjustment.. 
Adjustment is not always easy, and when gone wrong, can lead to 24hr hyperactive mind full of negativity and restlessness.

Here are 4 common mental strategies used to positively absorb the stress of adjustment - 

1. People Centric : - the key here is making people happy... The happier people in your surrounding, the more acceptable you are.
Most people invest their time, money and even ego to keep others happy.
This is the most common strategy followed by most... 
One needs to be extremely pro-active and keep his/her ego down for this strategy to be successful. 
Else it can create a negative feeling of being cheated.

2. Aura Creation - This strategy revolves around creating an Grand Aura or Grand Image about yourself. 
People are either fascinated, attracted or scared of this "great image".
Hence one gets to adjust into a situation by attracting those "like-minded" people, who have similar images... or those who are fascinated by it.

It includes heavy investment in your dressing style, talking style, cell phones, cars/bikes and other accessories uses.

Youngsters are specially fond of such a strategy. 
Drawbacks - if one is "faking" to create such an image, the lie can go beyond his/her control... and it can create serious social and legal problems.

most common example of this strategy is its use by Actors, "fake Godmen", Politicians and Manipulators to fascinate people.

3. Letting your Work Speak - the key is to keep being natural.. being yourself.. and letting others recognise your good and bad personality traits.

Those who like you, will be attracted towards you... and those who don't will go away.. 

Most people avoid this strategy. - It requires a lot of patience and decreased ego levels.
One has to be content in his self, not thinking much about the difficulties he/she is put through.

The main drawback - such people can become very lonely, because they are might keep expecting appreciation for a long time. By the time appreciation comes, they are so engulfed in sadness that they don't care about it.

4. Me and Now approach - this strategy revolves around personal happiness. 
One isn't concerned about others.. He/she looks at means of fulfilling personal needs.

Hereby new friendships are made and broken without any regrets or thoughts.. One is doesn't overthink.

A person invests all his energies and money in improving his present moment. 

One can be very direct in asking questions or answering questions. This can make other uncomfortable.

Drawbacks - people are scared of their frankness and direct approach to things... Its difficult to "over-power" them, and they will move away from a situation without thinking twice.



by - 

Dr.Hemant Mittal 
(Psychiatrist and Counselor)
email –
website –
address- 15, shreeji plaza, next to ice n spice restaurant, opposite seawoods station, seawoods (east)
Navi Mumbai

The purpose of FEAR

Nature is said to develop everything for a purpose... So what the purpose of fear? Why has the mind-brain-body developed fear through evolution... and why is it that its not disappearing with the evolving human brain.

Fear is one of the most primitive of emotions that we have. Its mediated by the limbic system part of the nervous system.
Its purpose or use is PROTECTION... so how does "fear" protect us...
Fear is the integral part of the ‘fight, fright and flight’ response.

Hence nature created Fear to protect us from adversities...
So it can rationalized that it initially helped the earlier humans to hunt and find safe places to live...
With the evolution of human society, food, shelter and clothes shifted from priority to basic necessity. The human needs increased.
As the social living improved, the need for control over ones "life" increased...
As the control over ones own life increased.. the need for control over others life increased...
Hence fear started manifesting itself as a way to "achieve" control.

Since the mind no longer used "fear" to escape or protect from a situation.. it started using "fear" to protect from "future possible situations".
Over a time, many developed the pattern of over-thinking with fear as their central emotion...
This can been seen in todays society in those people who develop suspiciousness and restlessness when they cannot "completely control a situation".
Today fear is related to the future...

This fear always keeps one on the edge. Despite the knowledge of one’s helplessness in shaping the turn of future events, fear stems from the imaginary “What if?”.
Anxiety about an unpleasant event is worse than actually dealing with the event itself. This is because the imagination mixes all sorts of potential ‘worse than’ scenarios.

This is how the mind is always full of stories relating to a future of persecution, conspiracy, and a sense of impending doom related to activities of life.

This psychological anxiety, sooner than later, manifests as somatic ailments.

Its because of this "holistic" effect of fear, that its considered to play an integral role in determining the happiness quotient of life.
Hence the lesser the fear, the happier one is emotionally, physically, spiritually and sexually.. and same is true, vice-versa.

FEAR in many cases is a clinical symptom that requires cure...

by -

Dr.Hemant Mittal
(Psychiatrist and Counselor)
email –
website –
address- 15, shreeji plaza, next to ice n spice restaurant, opposite seawoods station, seawoods (east)
Navi Mumbai

how to change your Attitude


How can I change my Attitude?
My friends/family think I have too much of attitude?
I live with lot of attitude, I need to change it?

if any of these questions come to your mind, than you need to read the following -

What is psychological definition of attitude?
An attitude can be defined as a positive or negative evaluation of people, objects, event, activities, ideas, or just about anything in your environment.

What is common definition of attitude?
Attitude is rigid view points or judgements about people, events, activities or ideas.
for example = someone who is comfortable wearing tight jeans in an environment where people wear trousers, will be called someone with loads of attitude.

Is having Attitude good or bad?
Attitude is living by what you believe in. If you belief system doesnt harm someone then you have all right to believe and practice it.

How to change your Attitude?
The question you should always ask yourself -
a. Do you really want to change your attitude?
or are you doing it because someone else says so?

b. Do you feel your Attitude has made you more negative, expressive or angry?

c. Are you ready to do extreme efforts in bringing and accepting change?

IF you have answers to these questions than change will be the next step.

How to Change an attitude you aren’t happy with?
Breaking an attitude is very difficult.. The brain is conditioned to work in that way, the brain finds happiness in that way.. so its very difficult to deconstruct it within hours or within days.
It might take weeks or months... so if you are ready to change, than follow these steps

1. Analyze Your rigidity - your attitude comes from a rigid thought process.. analyze it.
2. Rationalization - accept the flaws that your rigid behavior pattern brings to you.
3. Every morning trust yourself to do better in battling this attitude. somedays you will do good... and somedays you will do bad... but change will come slowly.
4. Tense moments will be there, accept them and take them as a learning experience.
5. Avoiding Mind Games - you tend to manipulate your own mind, by procrastinating on goal achievement.. the more you do so, the more you will fault in changing an attitude.

Dr.Hemant Mittal
(Psychiatrist and Counselor)
email –
website –
address- 15, shreeji plaza, next to ice n spice restaurant, opposite seawoods station, seawoods (east)
Navi Mumbai

The Rich Man who lost everything

Once upon a time their was a very rich Man. He had everything he wanted. Money, fame and power.
The only thing he craved was for “peace of mind”.

He feared what all he had was lost one day...

He had a very big house, and at night would sit and drink in the garden till he fell asleep.

Every night he would see towards the servants room, and listen to the sound of deep sleep.
Every morning he would see them smiling.

He would get very envious of them...

One day he confided to his wife about this envy... She laughed and said... if you are so envious give one of your servants 50 thousand rupees worth of gold and see how they change.

The very next day, he called the youngest of all servants and in front of all the other servants gave him "50 thousand rupees worth of gold"

A few days later he noticed how the servants were fighting between them.
How they stopped smiling and laughing.
How they looked at each other in anger.
How they stopped being at peace.

When he saw them like this, He felt very good... He felt powerful.. that night he laughed and singed.. and slept very peacefully.

A few days later he again started feeling as before. Again craving for peace of mind... Again fear and depression took over him.

This time he looked towards his wife... he felt envious of her... how could she sleep so peacefully when he was restless, sad and awake.

He got drunk, woke her up and verbally abused her... He kept telling her faults till she didn't start crying.
Once she started crying, he felt very good... and went to sleep.
Next morning he apologized and cursed the alcohol for his behavior.

He did this for 20 days... everytime he would abuse her till she didn't cry... then only he would feel happy and go to sleep.
Next morning he would blame the alcohol for the same.

The wife was a very shrewd woman... One the 21st day, as soon as he started to abuse her... she walked out of the house, with the same servant who he had given 50 thousand rupees worth of gold.

Suddenly the rich man found himself lost.. he couldn't understand why his wife walked out.. she was "his" wife.. its her job to please her husband... this was blasphemy.
His mind lost touch with reality... he wondered why did she walk out with that same servant he had given the reward too... Was this her plan.. Did she already know what he was thinking.. Did she manipulate him...

The man kept thinking and drinking.. thinking and drinking... Anger over-took him.. he now wanted to kill both of them... he got into his car and drove all over the city...

at 7am in the morning, drunk, angry and depressed he ramped his car into a truck at the speed of 100kmph.

He woke up 25 days later from coma to find that one hand was paralyzed and face was disfigured.

Unable to talk properly he kept crying and telling the doctor - I have lost everything.. I have lost everything... please kill me..

his wife came to visit him and told him -
"you lost everything because you always wanted to show others down... you never accepted and cherished what you had...
I came to tell you, I haven't cheated you... I have sent that servant to go back home, so he doesn't have to bear the hatred and anger of the other servants. A hatred and anger that you created.

I have just come to tell you, I am not coming back into your life... But I wish this downfall teaches you too live every moment of life."


Thanks for reading, your queries are welcome @-

Dr.Hemant Mittal
Psychiatrist and Motivational Writer

Obesity - A monster that's already here.

One walk through Mumbai's malls and its alarming to see how its fast becoming a city of overweight but undernourished people. 

10 yrs ago thinking of an ALL store (retail shop that sells only extra-extra large clothes) was more of a joke or an anecdote from USA .. today its a reality.

Experts lay the blame on traditional food losing out to fast food on the popularity charts, a phenomenon abetted by busy life-styles which make individuals dish out on instant meals.

Obesity has fast become an epidemic which affects at least 1 in every 10 individuals in Mumbai.

The worst part is that most over-weight people also suffer from deficiency of essential micro-nutrients making them physically and mentally weak.

As a doctor I have met thousands of "obese" people who are suffering from - 
a. digestive problems
b. hormonal system dis balance
c. deficiency in iron, zinc, vitamin D and vitamins B12 - leading to anaemia, weak bone structure, weak immune system, decreased memory and concentration, excessive anger, decreased sexual performance, faulty sleep structure and even suicidal depression.

d. common manifestations of vitamin deficiencies include graying and loss of hair, skin troubles, aches and pain in muscles and weakness in bones, faulty sleep structure, faulty memory functioning, irritability, mood swings and even suicidal thoughts.

e. high salt,sugar and trans-fats in fast food is leading to heart problems, hypertension and diabetes.
In fact its sad to see that people are now taking hypertension and diabetes as a fashion statement.

You earn money for yourself.. Make sure you are able to enjoy that money.. Not spend it in Hospital and medical bills - 

Simple solutions include -

1. eating better and healthier - you might need to keep a maid to cook for you, but in the end its cheaper than what you spend eating outside.

2. limit your outside food intake - not more than 1 or 2 a week.

3. exercise at least 3 times a week.

4. take a nutrition suppliment under the supervision of a nutritionist.

5. consult a professional and get a cure for emotional eating, or stress related over-eating.

Thanks for reading, your queries are welcome @- 

Dr.Hemant Mittal 
Psychiatrist and Motivational Writer

40% women dump their boyfriends because their friends don't like them

interesting psychological study found that 40% of women would consider dumping a boyfriend if her friends didn’t like him.

This means if you want to be in a long term relationship, you have to be in the good books of her friends.

My viewpoint -  as a psychiatrist I get to see a lot of cases where break-ups happen because of the influence friends have on a person.
Its really sad, that people don't realize the great chemistry they have and let it go, because of the approval or questioning by friends.
This just shows how scared, restless and gullible an individual is... He/she is afraid of his own happiness.
A free individual takes his/her own decisions. Doesn't rely on others. Accepts success and failure are his/her own.
That makes you strong enough to battle any pain in life.

Dr.Hemant Mittal
Psychiatrist and Motivational Writer

Depression in women

Here are the facts about depression in women: In the U.S., about 15 million people experience depression each year.
The majority of them are women. Unfortunately, nearly two-thirds do not get the help they need.

Depression in women is very common.
In fact, women are twice as likely to develop clinical depression as men.
Up to one in four women is likely to have an episode of major depression at some point in life.

What is depression?
Depression is a serious mood disorder. It causes feelings of sadness, hopelessness, helplessness, and worthlessness. Depression can be mild to moderate.

What are the symptoms of depression in women?

Symptoms of depression in women include:

1. Persistent sad, anxious, or "empty" mood
2. Loss of interest or pleasure in activities, including sex
3. Restlessness, irritability, or excessive crying
4. Feelings of guilt, worthlessness, helplessness, hopelessness, pessimism
5. Sleeping too much or too little, early-morning waking
6. Appetite and/or weight loss or overeating and weight gain
7. Decreased energy, fatigue, feeling "slowed down"
8. Thoughts of death or suicide, or suicide attempts
9. Difficulty concentrating, remembering, or making decisions
10. Persistent physical symptoms that do not respond to treatment, such as headaches, digestive disorders, and chronic pain

5 or more of the above along with continuous feeling of sadness, gives a very high possibility of clinical depression and warrants immediate psychiatric evaluation.

Why is depression in women more common than depression in men?

Before adolescence, the rate of depression is about the same in girls and boys. However, with the onset of puberty, a girl's risk of developing depression increases dramatically to twice that of boys.

Some experts believe that the increased chance of depression in women may be related to changes in hormone levels that occur throughout a woman's life.
These changes are evident during puberty, pregnancy, and menopause, as well as after giving birth or experiencing a miscarriage.
In addition, the hormone fluctuations that occur with each month's menstrual cycle probably contribute to premenstrual syndrome, or PMS, and premenstrual dysphoric disorder, or PMDD -- a severe syndrome marked especially by depression, anxiety, and mood swings that occurs the week before menstruation and interferes with normal functioning of daily life.

What increases the chances of depression in women?

1. Family history of mood disorders
2. History of mood disorders in early reproductive years
3. Loss of a parent before age 10
4. Loss of social support system or the threat of such a loss
5. Ongoing psychological and social stress, such as loss of a job, relationship stress, separation or divorce
6. Physical or sexual abuse as a child
7. Use of certain medications / drugs
8. Women can also get postpartum depression after the birth of a baby.
9. Some people get seasonal affective disorder in the winter.

How to Cope?
1. Eat healthfully and exercise regularly.
2. Engage in a creative outlet or hobby that fosters a sense of achievement.
3. Find a self-calming skill to practice -- such as yoga, meditation, or slow, deep breathing.
4. Keep your bedroom cool to prevent night sweats and disturbed sleep.
5. Seek emotional support from friends, family members, or a professional counselor when needed.
6. Stay connected with your family and community and nurture your friendships.
7. Take medicines, vitamins, and minerals as prescribed by your doctor.

Thanks for reading, your queries are welcome @-

Dr.Hemant Mittal
(Psychiatrist,Motivational Writer/Speaker and Counselor)

email -
website -

personal consultation @-
address- Mind Mantra wellness clinic
Shop 15, shreeji plaza, next to ice n spice restaurant,
opposite seawoods station,
seawoods (east)
Navi Mumbai - 400706


A new study suggests that an increasing number of men today are finding it difficult to deal with busy,successful wives.

A survey reveals even more disturbing facts about how men feel about their successful spouses intimidated and also disappointed with their performance as homemakers and mothers!

When women become more successful than their husbands, many a times it hurts the male ego and this takes a toll on their marriage.

The problem solely lies in the fact that men are not accustomed to staying with women who are professionally more superior than them.


Says Minoti Panda, 36-year-old advertising professional, My husband and I often have arguments on how I should stay back at home to look after my five-year-old daughter.

I keep telling him that she is grown up enough to complete her homework and be on her own until we get back in the evening, but he does not seem to understand the fact.
Men often tend to get threatened when their wives earn more than them,and thats why they prefer they stay at home.


Men often look out for women who can spend quality time at home and take care of the kids.
Men prefer women with safe professions such as that of a teacher or a librarian,or those with fixed working hours so that the women spend more time at home.


Most psychologists believe that the male ego is responsible for this behaviour in men.
Author Lynda La Plante and husband Richard La Plante separated after 18 years of their marriage.
Richard was quoted by a website as saying, Lot of men think that its great to have a wife who earns a lot of money. But living with a woman who is apparently more successful than you are, drains you. If you are a real man,it is a disaster.


Though there are many men who find successful women intimidating, there are some who are very supportive of the fact that their wives are earning and doing well in their lives.
Here are a couple of ways to be a supportive husband and encourage your wife.One must remember that respect is understanding.
You must understand that your wife is an independent woman and has a mind of her own.
Respecting the decisions that she takes about her life and career will be good for your relationship as well.
Be open about your feelings to her. In case you feel insecure about something,you must share with her.
Being honest with each other ensures that you build a healthy marriage.
Be there for her in endeavours.
This will make her trust you and make her feel safe and will also strengthen your marriage.
Participate in decision-making.
You dont ideally have to interfere in her decisions but when she asks you for an opinion,give her an honest feedback.

(Article from Times of India)

Thanks for reading, your queries are welcome @-

Dr.Hemant Mittal
Psychiatrist and Motivational Writer

Real Case of a Manipulator - Man cons more than 25 women to fall into love with him, takes all their money and leaves them.

Yesterday reading through the newspaper, I came across the case of Santosh Walunj here in Navi Mumbai.

Police are searching for this man who has till latest reports conned nearly 25 women of lakhs of rupees after enticing them into relationships.

Santosh Walunj sweet talks women into falling in love with him, then dumps them after cheating them of their money and valuables

The victims confirmed that Santosh Walunj, 40, posed to be a real estate agent or as a powerful government official while luring the women.

as per the newspaper reports Walunj’s modus operandi was that of a classical manipulator:

1. identify lonely women and those who are unhappy in their marriages,

2. impress them during the first meeting by showing his "power". He would show himself as a big rich businessman, real estate agent or a goverment official.

3. over the next few days he would gain their trust by forcing the women to talk about their private and personal life.
He would make them vulnerable. And listen to their "sad story".

4. He would gain their trust by portraying himself as their saviour. Always showing off, that with him on their side, the women could fight anything or anyone in the world.

5. over the next few weeks he would work for the victim to start disliking her "husband/boyfriend".
He would slowly make them think negative about their partners.

6. He would gain trust by coming home and meeting the victims relatives. (friends/family).

7. slowly the woman would be spending her whole time thinking about him, talking to him or sending him messages.

8. when she was completely dependant on him, he would propose that they start a joint venture together or get married.

9. He would ask the lady for money to start the business, or he would "fake" a wrong business deal that required money payments immediately.

10. Once he knew there was no more money to be extracted, he turned abusive, before finally walking out on the women.

One of the victims who spoke to the media, quoted that - “I was on my way to meet a client when he bumped into me and asked me for directions,”
“He said he was a customs officer. After I gave him the directions, he asked me if he could have my mobile number. I first hesitated. But he looked like a gentleman and was very polite. So I didn’t see any harm in giving my number.”
Walunj then called her one day and they spoke for some time. Soon, they started talking several times during the day and were on their way to becoming good friends.
He then started visiting the woman, who lived alone, at her home. By August he had moved in with her.
“He promised to marry me and we were into a serious relationship"

“In September 2012, he said he needed money. When I hesitated, he hit me and forced me to sign a blank cheque and withdrew Rs3.5lakh from my account. He also took away my gold bangles worth Rs.20,000.
One day in March this year, he stopped coming home. When I tried calling him, his number was out of service. I haven’t seen him since.”

In the second case, Police said that he met a woman in her mid 30's.. forced her to separate from her husband..
Soon, they were seeing a lot of each other. Before long, he had moved into her Khoparkhairne flat. “Then one day, he told me he met with an accident and that the other car involved was that of a politician,” said the victim in her statement. “He said the politician threatened to have him killed if he did not pay Rs 4 lakh. I gave him the money.”
When she later asked about the money, he started beating her up. A few days later, he stopped coming home. And his mobile number was out-of-service.

“He would drive around in a Honda Accord and maintain a high profile,” said the woman. “He was a smooth talker. He would search internet profiles, and photos to get personal details. He would comment on FB photos and make one talk about old memories... sweetly he made them feel special. The same happened to me, too. He even convinced me to sell my flat for Rs 20 lakh. And he took away all that money right from under my nose.”

A third woman, also married, divorced her Dubai-based husband after Walunj came into her life. He met her at a social event and said he was a CID officer investigating a high-profile case. Once her divorce came through, they got married in a simple civil ceremony. Soon, he sold her car and belongings, saying he needed the money urgently. He even withdrew Rs 4 lakh from her account. And once he knew she had no more money left, he started torturing her. A few days later, he left her.







Thanks for reading, your queries are welcome @-

Dr.Hemant Mittal
(Psychiatrist,Motivational Writer/Speaker and Counselor)

email -
website -

personal consultation @-
address- Mind Mantra wellness clinic
Shop 15, shreeji plaza, next to ice n spice restaurant,
opposite seawoods station,
seawoods (east)
Navi Mumbai - 400706


You love to judge people.. and then will quietly believe in the delusion that "you don't judge".
I met a manipulator once who would say "i don't judge" in front of his friend.... but standing outside carter road, would call a bihari autowala as a "burden on Mumbai".. And then he would quietly say, I don't judge.

People love to make delusionals statements.. and unfortunately lesser intelligent ones fall for them and also make belief of the same.

One of the most delusional statement to roam around is the use of the word "childish".

This judgement routine is so common -
one friend commenting on other - "he is so childish"

a boyfriend commenting on his girlfriend - "she is so childish"

a father on his child - "she is 26yr, yet so childish"

a wife on her husband - "he is 35yr, yet so childish"

It sometimes so funny, because in most cases its like one beggar telling the other - you are a beggar.

People are even more stupid, because they equate their "experience" in life to "how mature" they are.

I have met people who say - "Don't dare me.. you can never compare to my level of maturity.. you don't know the pain I have gone through"...

hahahaha.. they make me laugh, because they are just gaining sympathy for their poor acting.

Maturity is destructive. Maturity is a delusional. Maturity will kill you. Maturity is against the nature of happiness.

I know people who want to visit a new restaurant every day... who want to wear new clothes every day... who want to live in a different fashion every single day...
who will wait for weekends to party out...
who will suddenly break into a dance...

And they call this maturity.

I am sorry, but psychology has proven that its an internal child wanting to manifest himself.
Its a child that was suppressed and still wants to live it out.
Why because a mature person is looking for long term comfort zones... not short lived happiness.

A child is the peak of innocence, simplicity and pure in his intentions... if he wants attention he makes sure you give him.. if he wants to feel "big" he demands for it.
A child is always changing.. always running around and creating something new.
A child can play with 2 pieces of stone for hours, and the very next moment forget about them and move ahead.
A child is curiosity, love for the moment....
a child adjusts to whatever he gets... even if his basic needs are met he is happy.. he learns to tell his brain move ahead in life.

A child is the most powerful form of love.
Its an irony but Every single motivational and spiritual book directly or indirectly, talks about loving like a child.

Its an irony that 75% people want to relive their teenage and childish years again.

Its an irony that people spend millions to remain "young"

Still you use "childish" as an adjective to describe negative traits.
You use "childish" to label someone as bad.

Your mind is clouded because you love to judge.
You still want to believe in the delusion that "you don't judge".

You love to suppress your emotions.. You feel if you accept there is something negative in you, you will become a lesser person.
And the moment you suppress you automatically become negative.

I will give you an example -

I once met a manipulator who would prey on women going through tough emotional time - he would say "a man and woman can love each other.. love has no definitions.. you can be my girl-friend.. my sister.. my mother... all in one...and i will have the same respect for you always".

Lets accept it.. Who wouldn't like a man like that... a man who is ready to give so much love... but then people never saw he was just words... I saw how insecure he was.. he was just looking for someone to depend on... He was no substance, he just spoke and spoke out of restlessness and anxiety.

But then He was a "very mature man".. because  he was diplomatic, political and extremely selfish.
He used the most powerful of all weapons - words and stories...
He wanted someone to depend on, so he would manipulate a woman's mind so she just believes in the type of "love" he wanted them to believe in..

He used words to entice and make slaves. And women fell for him, because they felt they were "helping him out.. and learning from him".
They never realized.. he was using them.. he was satisfying his own insecurities and just giving them stories after stories.

Now everyone likes to hear a story... Everyone likes to tell a story... Isn't that childish,, but then he was mature.. and used to label others as childish.
i saw how many of these woman lost the most important things in their life. They lost relationships, money, innocence, grace and their beauty..... they became zombies believing that only he can make them happy.

He was so possessive that, he wouldnt let them go... even a few hours of solitude.. and he would feel nervousness... he would shower them with sms ... a woman would fall for it.. she would feel he cares so much.. they never realized how restless he was..
how insecure he was.. how he wanted to be always in contact thru some medium... just to feel secure.

Poor women.. they said he was mature.. but couldnt see how he was manipulating through "role playing".
Its only when reality stuck, would they realize what they have done.. what destruction they have caused in that hypnotic spell.

They could have avoided all this destruction.. if they had accepted the child inside of them.. if they had accepted the negativity inside of them... if they had accepted that through the passage of their childish nature would the mature long term stable life come.

Thanks for reading, your queries are welcome @-

Dr.Hemant Mittal
(Psychiatrist,Motivational Writer/Speaker and Counselor)

email -
website -

personal consultation @-
address- Mind Mantra wellness clinic
Shop 15, shreeji plaza, next to ice n spice restaurant,
opposite seawoods station,
seawoods (east)
Navi Mumbai - 400706


As a psychiatrist I get to meet tens of people daily. Many of them are running away from life.

A man's wife left him, he is miserable and turns all his attention to "work".  He goes on falsely promoting that WORK IS ONLY DHARMA of life.

A woman couldn't find a suitable match for marriage, took so many rejections that she finally decided MARRIAGE IS USELESS...NO LONGER NEED FOR IT.

A man lost his job, has so many EMI's to pay.. tries to commit suicide, because he can only "predict" despair in his life.

People are just running away from life.
You change a city, you change your job, you change your lifestyle... just because you are afraid.

No one runs away from life when happy... No one seeks a change in city, job or lifestyle when happy.

So what is there in unhappiness that makes you run?
Many people say I am enjoying my life.. but I would want something more.
If you inquire into that something more, its not a simple "something more"... its a big mountain of anxiety and depression.

Every episode of Happiness has a life span.
You meet a friend of yours, you like spending time with him/her... once you go back home the happiness ends.
You buy a new cell phone, play with it for a few days... after it has fallen a few times,  the happiness is gone.
You buy a new dress, get a lot of compliments on first day.. next time you wear it, you dont get compliments, the happiness is gone.
You join a new job, first few days everyone is good with you, you feel happy.. then slowly start feeling "negative" vibes.

Since happiness has a life span, our mind tries to indulge in those situations were you can get maximum happiness.
its a natural tendency of the human brain to seek production of dopamine.. happiness giving chemical.

Over a period of time, This slowly creates a pattern.
If your mental pattern says you are happy by watching a movie, you will feel happy only when you watch the movie.
If your mental pattern says you are happy by spending time with a special friend, you will feel happy only when you spend time with that friend.
If you feel a particular dress will make you look great, you will feel happy when you buy that dress.
If being with your wife makes you happy, with or without love, you will just want to be with her.
If your job pays your EMI's and makes you happy, you will feel happy.

When life presents you with something against your mental pattern, it creates unhappiness.

Your husband doesn't like you meeting a specific man, you feel claustrophobic.
Your boss gives preference to your co-worker, you feel frustrated.
Your relationship ends because she was cheating on you, you feel depressed.
Someone spills sauce on your favourite dress you feel angry and depressed.

Since our brain is accustomed to only seek happiness.. the presence of unhappiness is not acceptable.
Higher the degree of unhappiness, the worst we feel in that particular situation.

The flight reaction of the brain, triggers you too run away from the situation.
In your own way you stop fighting the situation, and slowly look at running away from it.

Running away makes them sad.. And non-adjustment to new situation, creates further depression.

There are another group of people who LOVE CHANGE. - These are the people who have been extremely criticised in their growing up years.
They become afraid of patterns.
They indulge into a mental pattern.. as soon as they become perfect in that pattern, their mind triggers subconscious anxiety, created by the presence of a deep seated unresolved childhood neurosis.
They suddenly withdraw themselves from that mental pattern and look too indulge into something new.
Indulgence in the moment, masks their deep seated sadness. This "lustful" indulgence  eventually creates more subconscious sadness and anxiety.
They are more prone to keep running away all their life, trying to find peace.
They will indulge in many therapies to find long term peace of mind.
Until they don't comfort and help that scared child inside of them, they will always find themselves at the receiving end of sadness.

Thanks for reading, your queries are welcome @-

Dr.Hemant Mittal
(Psychiatrist,Motivational Writer/Speaker and Counselor)

email -
website -

personal consultation @-
address- Mind Mantra wellness clinic
Shop 15, shreeji plaza, next to ice n spice restaurant,
opposite seawoods station,
seawoods (east)
Navi Mumbai - 400706