Are you addicted to Negativity?



Every single action done by every single cell in the whole universe is aimed to achieve happiness and peace.
Nature has a set of rules which make it to achieve this goal. Of all the laws taught by nature one of the most powerful is the "law of attraction". The power of self to attract what your mind thinks.
The greatest enemy to attracting success and happiness towards one-self is the presence of negativity in the mind. Negativity creates road-blocks which prevent the smooth transition of thought to action. And hence prevent achievement of expectations.

When things in life don't go as expected negativity takes birth in the mind. Slow and constant presence of negativity causes the mind to change the brain structure in such a form that negativity becomes the prime emotion. In other words, the mind-brain complex becomes addicted to living in negativity. This addiction is so powerful, that it can rationalize and destroy any golden opportunity for success that presents itself to an individual.

Its the effect of psychologically generated negativity that one starts to see himself/herself as a victim rather than hunter. Imagine if the king of the jungle, the lion starts to think himself as a victim.
The laws of nature make it very clear that Success and happiness only comes to a hunter not a victim.

The following is a psychometric test that will help you evaluate the extent of "negativity-addiction" your mind is entangled in:

(1) You prefer to avoid meeting people because of the fear of being criticized, disapproved or rejected ?

(2) You only like to meet people who you are 100% sure will appreciate and like you?

(3) You tend to suppress your feelings. Always fear that expressing your feeling and emotions to your near and loved ones will cause shame or ridicule?

(4) Are fearful and/or preoccupied of being socially embarrassed by others?

(5) You feel incapable of developing good relationships with other people, and envy those who can do so with ease?

(6) You tend to automatically compare yourself with others. And in most comparisons see yourself as inferior or inept?

(7)  Even if you want to change your emotional and psychological self, you don't do it out of anger or embarrassment that you will fail. So prefer to live in emotional pain?


If you got more than 4 "yes" or more than 5 "sometimes"... your mind is addicted to favoring the negative side.
Seek help immediately or prefer to live without happiness.

For a detailed analysis and cure of the problem,
Email your question and answers at eksoch@gmail.com
all queries will be answered within 48-72hrs or as per availability of time (which ever is earlier)

thank you,


Dr.Hemant MittaL
Motivational Speaker - Mind-Body Healer
(MBBS, PG.DPM, M.D.(Mind Mantra Wellness Concepts - Mumbai))
(Specialize in Emotional, Behavioural, Sleep, Memory, Concentration and Sexual Health)

Success Through Mind Power - Simple techniques that provide you the winning edge


Success through Mind Power -
hereby a small video of me, where I am giving Simple tips on how to identify and tackle stress. A trait of the successful.
http://videos.sify.com/dr-hemant-mittal-s-tips-to-de-stress-SIFY-watch-lgxkpcihjaa.html 


kindly share it with your friends and family.

Mama’s Boy – A great gamble between Wife, Marriage and Mother!!!

Marriage is a sacrosanct social exercise which a majority of men and women dream, fantasize and yearn for since adolescence.

Even while most only realize this 6months or a year into it, it’s probably the most demanding event in an individual’s life, with the highest level of emotional, physical and psychological adjustments at both personal and professional levels. 

One essential and extremely difficult adjustment that both partners need to make is that of detachment from their parents and start independent decision making based on mutual communication.

This step is essential for any couple that looks to develop a healthy, loving and long-lasting relationship.


A personality trait popularly called as “mama’s boy or mothers boy”, when present in the male partner, can become one of the most difficult hurdles in developing a healthy and loving relationship.

Most women love and want their soul mate to be respectful and caring about his mother. This automatically showcases a sense of respect, understand and care towards women. But when a man isn’t able to break his emotional and psychological dependency from his mother he is labelled as “mama’s boy”.

Once triggered, aversion to this “Mama’s boy” or “mother’s boy” trait has the potency to grow into an emotional cancer that creates extreme negativism, psychological sadness and physical barriers against her mate.

Speaking in context of the Indian society, most men are extremely scared of giving up their “Macho” image. They are terrified of being labelled as “imperfect”.  While majority accept this “mama’s boy” trait, their fear of being labelled imperfect compels them to completely deny it.
A delusional level of need to give respect and love to their mothers is used as an emotional umbrella to guard themselves from the responsibility of independent decision making away from their mother’s ideas.
Over the years I have met hundreds of couples who have been secretly fighting a losing battle against this relationship-destroying problem.

Some essentials psychological pointers regarding this topic - 

1.     Hero Figure
In psychological context Men are extremely simple beings. Especially Indian men, the great majority share the same criteria while choosing a life partner. She should be a beautiful, understanding and well educated woman.
This is as simple as a 3yr old going to a candy shop and saying “I want something sweet”.

Women are a little more detailed in their approach. Indian patriarchal society subjects a vast majority of them to regular taunts like “weaker sex” or “paraya dan i.e. another man’s property”. This subconsciously creates a victim psychology whereby they look in for a Hero figure or saviour in their male partners. Such a man has the following minimums,
a.     the mental strength to solve situations,
b.     the power to protect her,
c.      and the masculinity to satisfy her emotionally, financially and physically.

A “mama’s boy” personality trait instantly destroys this image. Slowly her subconscious get detached from conscious control, and it starts perceiving the man as an emotionally weak person who needs the support of an elderly lady.

It’s the law of nature that the strong are preferred to the weak. So with every mental comparison between her mate and her female friend’s husbands, movie characters, or even unknown couples on the road, the image of “my husband is a spineless” starts overtaking the psyche, leading to an emotional and physically drift from him.


2.     Competition
Thou this is a social practice and can be extensively debated upon. At the time of marriage most women sacrifice their “20 plus years old comfort zone” to enter a new unknown house a.k.a “unknown environment”.

Within most women, the act of engagement automatically starts a subconscious list called “sacrifices made for this marriage”. The list grows very slowly till the day of marriage. Within a few hours of Marriage, there is a data-overload within this list. Every single step is noted down as a sacrifice.

From leaving her comfort zone behind, to physical and emotional surrender to a new family and its way of living, to emotionally caring for a new group of people, all these adjustments are supposed to be made within hours.

Newton’s third law of nature tells us “that for every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction”

While the naive society expects women to whole heartedly accept this self-sacrifice, the human subconscious mind is governed by laws of nature.

With every new entry in the list, like sexual surrender, bearing a child, and even changing her belief system, her subconscious demands something in return.

In accordance with social laws, the most common subconscious demand is for complete physical and emotional control of the new environment. That’s only then that acceptance comes in, creating the happiness image of this is “my house”, this is “my husband” and this is “my family”

The moment a man starts putting his mother before his wife her subconscious mind gets restless. The list of sacrifices starts flashing back before her eyes in the form of old memories. As the fear increases, the irritation and anger increases.
Irritation and anger leads to fight between the two ladies, between the husband-wife, excessive anger on children, household help, etc.


3.     Mental Fixation 
If looked into origin of “Mama’s boy” personality trait, it’s classical to find that they are men who have been excessively pampered by their mother.

Such is the unnecessary pampering in the name of “love”, that such men have a high dependency of sharing and seeking their mothers help in many of their personal, professional and private issues.

This creates a mental image whereby the mother is only figure who will always stands by them no matter what others say.

The moment such man get married it’s extremely difficult for both mother and son to break this mental fixation and let a new relationship take decisions.

In extreme cases of dependency, the fear of breaking this bond can unconsciously lead both of them to perpetuate emotional and physical torture on this new lady within their life.

Creating an extreme sense of worthlessness and hopelessness for her.


4.     No privacy
The most important cementing issue within a couple is their ability to share their deepest financial, emotional and physical secrets.

Vibhishan (brother of Ravan) from the Hindu epic Ramayana, even while  all actions were in good faith to help Lord Ram in the triumph of good over evil, is still labelled as the biggest traitor of all times.

When a “Mama’s boy” opens up his bedroom talk or his wife’s deep secrets to his mother, even if done in good faith, her subconscious mind labels him as “vibishan” – an untrustable traitor. The feeling of betrayal one set clouds all intentions behind the action and destroys rational thinking.

A patient of mine divorced her ex-husband because of this. She was extremely embarrassed when she realized her husband was leaking intimate details to her mother-in-law.  She was shocked at her mother-in-laws very timely opinions on what under-garments she should buy, how she should never deny sex to her husband and the astrological significance of a birth-mark she had at a private place.

Least to say, she felt publically humiliated.  Surprisingly when I spoke to her husband, he felt ignorant about all “women” issues and took to his mother as a guide for the same.


5.     Where does the Mama’s boy Syndrome lead to -
The easiest way to battle a mama’s boy syndrome is to realize that you have it, and to try and maintain equal love and respect to your wife and mother.
Now obviously this statement does fall into the “easier said than done” category.

In the last 15yrs, there has been a vertical shift within the Indian society. Women have become both emotional and financially independent.

A “mama’s boy” syndrome is known to be major trigger for 3 events,
a.     The wife continues living in a sad, unhealthy relationship developing clinical levels of depression that can even lead to suicidal ideas and require treatment.

b.     The wife drifts emotionally and physically from the husband. She can start searching for the same outside wedlock. While husband is only seen as a financial provider. 

c.      The wife files for divorce and moves along with her life. An option being increasingly exercised in India.


  
 6.     Solutions-

A.   Identify if you have Mama’s boy syndrome.
Most men who have it know it, others need some friends or family to identify it for them.

B.   Solutions to Mama’s boy syndrome:

a.     Understanding what marriage/relationship means

b.     The importance of your wife in your life

c.      Amount of dedication you need to give

d.     Standing up to your mother- this is not dis-respect but a demand for independence. Initially pain staking but later on very fulfilling for both mother and son

e.      Start effective communication between you and your wife. Lay down some ground rules and slowly build up from there onwards.

f.       Get mental peace – if just seeing negativity all around, that consult a professional to help you

will really appreciate if you give your valuable comments over this article and share it with family and friends. 


Dr.Hemant MittaL

Motivational Speaker - Mind-Body Healer
(MBBS, PG.DPM, M.D.(Mind Mantra Wellness Concepts - Mumbai))
(Specialize in Emotional, Behavioural, Sleep, Memory, Concentration and Sexual Health)
(www.mindmantra.in)
Contact at -


 


Extra-marital Affair - It doesn't have to be Physical?


(the following are true cases who I have counselled for relationship issues...all names have been changed)
"Varsha and Nipun were always the perfect couple. It was a shock when people came to know they were separating. While this decision had devastated Nipun,Varsha was happier than ever before. No one seemed to have a logical explanation. It's when I suggest Nipun to look into Varsha's social networking account that he found proof of she having a "love-affair" with an unknown "affluent businessman" from a different city. It was after a well orchestrated police action that revealed "Varsha's online lover" to be an unemployed 25yr man. That man was put behind bars.Varsha took a lot of time to come out. They are still undergoing counseling and trying to building up their relationship"

"Sushant and Shagun loved each other. After college he moved to Australia for further studies. Against her wishes Shagun's parents got her married to a boy of their preference. 8years after marriage she regained contact with Sushant through the internet. Within 6months she filed for divorce."

"Ankit always felt his wife Neelam never gave him the love he desired. The need for true companionship always kept haunting his mind. He met Maria, through a social networking site. Within weeks his behaviour changed. Everyone noticed how the angry and easily irritated man behaved more like a 16yr old in love. All through this he remained an obedient husband to Neelam. Secretly his emotions always resided with Maria. Even while having sex, he would imagine Neelam as Maria.
He finally Divorced Neelam and married Maria. His marriage with Maria also didn't last much and had to divorce her too. Neelam is still seeking therapy. Ankit is in deep depression and guilt, but is living in denial. Trying to escape from the situation by drinking and moving away to other city"

LETS FACE IT -Cyber-cheating or online extra-marital affair is a reality!! Even with no physical contact involved but the emotional and psychological attachment is many times greater than any physical extra-marital affair.

Over the last few months I have noticed a steady increase in the number of men and women who approach me to seek help in battling this addiction.

It starts as harmless flirting, which becomes a good friendship and finally takes over the entire thought process of an individual.

99% of those involved, deny it at first. It's only when their obsession about their "online partner" over-clouds their entire sense, they start destroying their relationships.

Psychological Research over 5 continents has proven that indulgence in such an activity happens as its easy, secretive and an excitement filled adventure.
Most cases are hidden within the subconscious of the guilty partner. This guilt tends to manifest itself as  sadness, anxiety and feeling of disgust upon self, specially when the guilty partner becomes a parent or finds out his/her children to be involved with multiple sexual partners.

If you have an special "online" or "offline" friend, who has become the center of your thought process. Take the following quiz. Presence of 6 or more "yes" means you are involved in an "extra-marital relationship"

( for the purpose of this article, the term "online friend" is used to refer onto the male/female with whom an extra-marital cyber-relationship has been established)

1. Spending more than 2-3hours a day chatting or exchanging sms/messages with the same person i.e."online friend."

2. Thought Process is for most of the day preoccupied with thoughts of the "online friend".

3. Extreme concern to keep it as a secret. Going to length to try and concealing it from your friends, family and spouse.
Changing all your account passwords, creating new social networks/email accounts, concealing emails, changing his/her name on the blackberry messenger, etc.

4. High fear, irritation or anger if your spouse suddenly questions you about your online/cell phone activity.

5. Restlessness if not heard from him/her after a few hours. This restlessness calms only after contacting him/her.

6. More and more time is taken out of work, important schedules or even by waking up at night to contact your "online friend".

7. Higher comfort level in sharing your thoughts related to family, marriage, emotional and physical self with your online friend than your spouse.

8. Constant mental comparison between personality of your "online friend" and your spouse.

9. While in any form of physical intimacy with your spouse, your mind flashes the desire of being with your "online friend" instead.

10. Sharing sensitive information like provocative photos, bank or other financial details, personal body details or professional secret details with your "online friend" without having met him/her or verified his/her credentials.

11. Constantly planning to arrange business meetings, conferences or visits to spend time alone with your "online friend".

12. Constant denying to any emotional attachment to your "online friend", while you still spend a lot of time in the day thinking about him/her.

If you have scored 6 or more, you are into an online extra-marital affair.


The biggest side effect of an online-extra marital are the Withdrawal effects. - The moment you think or try to break a cyber-relationship, your mind is flooded with one or more of the following emotions - restlessness, guilt, anger, decreased self-esteem, hopelessness, worthlessness, sadness and pain.
The inability to battle these emotions drives you back to it. Making it an emotional trap which you cannot leave.

Emotional Addiction, Sexual Addiction and Psychological frustration are 3 common side effects that accompany most online extra-marital affairs.

For any assistance further, feel free to contact me-



Dr.Hemant MittaL
(MBBS, PG.DPM, M.D.(Mind Mantra Wellness Concepts - Mumbai))


For any further query, especially regarding Stress, Depression, Emotional, Behavioural, Sleep, Memory, Concentration and Sexual Health feel Free to Contact me at:

Website - www.mindmantra.in
Email eksoch@gmail.com

Bollywood consults Psychiatrists!!!

The movies have always been a mirror of the society. Producers, Directors, script writers and actors have constantly been in the search of powerful emotions. That's why today the great majority of Bollywood not only personally consults psychiatrists for their emotional and behavioral problems, but also so impressed by the emotions that make adapted films out of real life incidences.

“He was trapped, couldn’t give away his friends and couldn’t turn his back on his family... He took the easiest way out, he jumped out of the window” - Raju Rastogi ( character played by Sharman Joshi from movie 3 idiots, who attempts suicide because cannot find a solution)

"In a split second he was lost oblivious of the moment that had just passed and the happenings in his surrounding” –  Sanjay Singhania (character played by Aamir Khan in movie Ghajini, who suffers from Progressive Memory loss)

 “Nobody believes him. He gives up his life to run away from a voice that keeps haunting him” – Karthik ( character played by Farhan Akhtar in the movie Karthik Calling Karthik, who suffers from Paranoid Schizophrenia)

Jisne pi nahi whiskey, Kismat phoot gayee uski” – dialogue by Vicky Kapoor (character played by Amitabh Bachchan in the movie Sharaabi, who suffers from Alcohol addiction)

The World Health Organization (WHO) reports that 1 in every 4 people or 25% of the population experience at least one kind of Mind-Body illness during the course of a year.
Anxiety, Mental Restlessness and Depression are the most common of them but the number of cases of schizophrenia, addictions, bipolar disorder and personality disorder are on alarming rise.
Everyone has had a friend, colleague or family who has suffered from a Mind-body problem. Unlike physical ailments such as cancer or heart disease, these illness is not visible. That’s why most cases go  untreated and until it becomes serious.
The Western Society is much more progressive and accepting about Mind-body problems. They realise that in modern times a healthy mind is the only way to success, happiness and joy.

Jim Carrey, one of Hollywood's most famous comic actor, has  openly accepted being hospitalised to battle his struggle with depression.

Oprah Winfrey, one of the world’s most reputed TV anchors, has publically accredited her counselor and psychiatrists success to strength of having survived physical and sexual abuse.

J.K. Rowling, author of the popular Harry Potter series, has openly talked about her bouts of depression and feelings of suicide.

Unlike US, Canada or Western European countries, in India most people who suffer from such issues prefer to isolate themselves from the society than seek help.

The biggest road block to happiness is that they feel alone in this battle. They start comparing others with themselves and see others as always happy. Many others seek pleasure by emotionally or physically harming others.
A coveted place whose habitants are always seen to be happy is the Indian Film Industry.  

What we tend to forget is that behind the cover of all that fame, money and pain even Bollywood, Tollywood or the entire Indian Film Industry is not away from emotional pain.

Bollywood always loved to keep its dark secrets away from the public. Parveen Babi has been the best example of the same. A beautiful woman who achieved all that she wanted, but finally succumbed to a pitiful death in loneliness because she or those next to her never got Paranoid Schizophrenia cured.

Dilip Kumar, the thespian of Indian film Industry, is one of the few old timers who has openly accepted consulting a Psychiatrist to battle his depression and deep fears.

Shahrukh Khan, the King of Bollywood is one of the new thinkers who broken social taboo and openly discussed his battle with depression during the recovery process of his shoulder injury. He is also not shy to discuss his sister's life battle with depression and has discussed her plight in many interviews.

Hrithik Roshan has discussed how he battled stammering for 30years of his life. How he would be made fun of by other kids, how he would suffer from anxiety attacks when had to give oral examinations, and how his body would tremble at the thought of public speaking.


Salman Khan, the “bhai” of Bollywood has never shied away from accepting that he has had problems controlling his anger and aggression. He also asks his fans not to follow his footsteps into smoking addiction.

Fortunately, more Bollywood actors have been coming forward with this issue.  More movies are being made on the same, and slowly people are understanding that “healthy mind” is the only possible gateway to happiness.

Thanks for reading

Dr.Hemant Mittal (MBBS,PGDPM, MBPS, MD(mindmantra))
Motivational Speaker - Mind Trainer –
Emotional, Behavioral, Sleep, Memory and Sexual Health Consultant at Mind Mantra.
email - eksoch@gmail.com 
Twitter profile link - http://twitter.com/#!/HemanttMittal 




Me, the Principal and How to Increase Marks in School/College

Sometime ago, I met the principal of a well known School in Mumbai for a “coffee shop counselling” session. She was under extreme stress. Thou she had a nearly perfect personal life professionally she was trying to full-fill the expectations of thousands by sacrificing herself.

Her stress would get magnified by not being able to find an effective way to vent out. She didn’t want to show a vulnerable side at work as her staff saw her as an able leader, her friends envied her job and never thought something could go wrong and at home she was always the daunting mother, wife and daughter-in-law.

Her main worry was the year on year declining performance of her school children. In good faith, she had implemented new approaches like vedic maths, memory training, exam stress handling workshops for the children. But the lack of results and high compulsory participation fees parents had to pay for such programmes had made her more enemies than friends.

I had a few extensive detailed counselling sessions with her and was happy to help her battle a great majority of her stress and its related physical symptoms.

Few weeks later she called me to her office. Once there she spoke about the great legacy of her school and offered me the opportunity to conduct a “memory enhancing workshop” for the tenth class children. Thou I love to accept challenges, I refused.

She tried to conceal it, but it was obvious that the refusal had hurt her ego and made her angry.

In true colours of a School principal, she “very empathically” reminded me two things. Firstly how lucky I was cause every year hundreds of speakers would wait days to get her appointment. And secondly they were an institution known to pay extremely well, so rejecting such an offer was “not professionally very wise”.

I smiled to her expected reaction and politely explain that her approach to keep feeding children with new skills and tactics on how to improve memory was nothing more than a gimmick that would please the parents, give fun-time to the children and wouldn’t have any major impact on the final results.

Her face literally turned red in anger. It was obvious in that office nobody had the authority to talk so directly and bluntly. I think being her doctor saved me from re-living my school days where going to the “principal’s office” meant a “royal scolding.”

Just before she was about to ask me to leave her office, curiosity made her ask why I was rejecting the offer.

I explained her that only 5% children ever go to effectively utilize what they are taught in such programmes. The rest 95% forget it within 5-10days. Those 5% children are anyways above average, so they fight for 5-10% increase in their over-all percentage. What should be her concern is how to have a programme that increases productivity in 45-55% of the participants, only then will she see effects at the end of the year. No worldly process is known to give 100% productivity, so expecting the same was irrational. Hence, from my point of view, conducting that workshop would be futile for the attendants. Money was not my prime concern, but effectively helping as many children as possible.

It seemed as if she had been a “maths teacher” in her yesteryears because this really aroused her curiosity to a different level. A little later in the discussion she accepted that her approach was fixated onto children because it was easier.

She also understood my concern about creating a more holistic cure for the problem rather than a quick-fix. On her request, I went back home and within a few weeks presented her with a lot of ideas on how to successfully handle the situation.

Lately she called me to inform of the success of a small pilot project that she, a group of teachers and parents conceptualised and implemented over the last few months. I was happy that some of my ideas provided the framework for a few of the modules of their project. They see now implement it on a larger scale.

Thou the space and medium doesn’t allow me to speak about all the ideas, I would like to very briefly share 5 very important points for improving the “Mind Power” of any child:

1. Super 30 approach – Super 30 is a program conducted by a teacher from Bihar. Every year he picks, nurtures and trains 30 of the poorest students from his regions to appear for one of the toughest exams world-wide, the IIT-JEE.

He has a 70% plus success rate. Why is that no other coaching institute has such a success rate?

Reason – Personal touch

2. Japan Model – The Japanese education system is one of the most successful in the globe. It’s a system whereby children themselves demand for examination rather than running away from them

Reason – Teach them how to solve a problem not to fear solving it

3. The Religious School Method – Gurukul, monasteries, madrasas, etc every individual who passes out of any of these religious institution knows hundreds of thousands of verses, their meanings and can recall them at the blink of an eye. How?

Reason – Understanding and Repetition

4. “I am not a loser” phenomenon – Nobody likes to be called a loser. Specially Children. Unfortunately most teachers and parents subconsciously call a child loser, indirectly by actions like comparing him with others or directly by telling him that he has failed to live upto their expectations.

Reason – parents and teachers lose patience and fail to understand the personality of their child.

5. The Secret – Every single self-help book in the world focuses on a simple law. The law of self-belief. The more a child has belief and positivity about himself and his capability to perform, the better he/she can perform. But with all parental encouragement still why does he fail?

Reason – Positivity and self-belief have to be cultivated, nurtured and made a personality trait. The results might not happen in a day or week, but they will surely come up.

Due to time and space, I will try in some next article to right about other very important aspects needed for better school performance like memory enhancing exercises, modalities of punishment, how to develop a vision for the future and how alternate modalities like law of attraction, self-hypnosis and even positive affirmations can bring the desired results.

Do leave your comments in the end of the article,

Dr.Hemant MittaL
Motivational Speaker - Mind-Body Healer
(MBBS, PG.DPM, M.D.(Mind Mantra Wellness Concepts - Mumbai))
(Specialize in Emotional, Behavioural, Sleep, Memory, Concentration and Sexual Health)
(www.mindmantra.in)
Contact at -
Email eksoch@gmail.com

Possess every Richness and Luxury from home using Mind Power



 A few weeks ago I got a call from a Finance Company asking if I could take a “rejuvenating session” for their over-worked, stressed and fatigue employees. Thou I have extensive experience in Public speaking and carrying out workshops,  a “rejuvenating session”  for finance guys was  completely a new domain.

After a constructive discussion with their Manager, we both decided to fuse their requirements with my capabilities to formalize a structured 3 hour session at their west Mumbai based premises.

As per my habit, I reached the venue a couple of hours before start. This gives me enough time to familiarize with the place, creatively visualize how I will conduct the session and over-look any last minute details.

We had planned a 3pm start. The post-lunch time would give enough time to the on-site employees to return and their clients to finish work and leave the premises.

At 2pm, Me and the branch manager, who I had befriended by now, sat down to have a quick lunch. We had barely started eating when the pleasant pre-monsoon weather was enhanced by a slight drizzle.


By 2.30pm the lunch time drizzle had upgraded into a downpour.  One by one majority of on-site employees called and expressed inability to return back.  The first two calls gave us a slight laugh, but later it turned into a concerned stare. 


By 3pm we were facing a full blown Mumbai monsoon rain. With 6 in-house employees and 6 clients the most logical step was to cancel the program.  When I thought he was going to call off the whole thing, he approached and asked me if I would do a session for those present. 

Since I was also caught in surprise by the sudden rain, I had nothing better to do. Plus I had already committed my time for a session, so I didn’t see any problem in the same.
To his credit the manager was a dynamic man who not only got all his employees to attend, but also motivated all the “trapped” clients to join in.  

Loads of hot tea, coffee and sandwiches provided the extra motivation for my audience of 12. A major downsize form the 20 plus I had come to tackle. 

While everything looked fine, the next major blow was when the manager announced that in view of the changed scenario I would be delivering a session on “Gateway to financial Richness and luxury through the power of the Mind”.  

I won’t deny, for a second I was stunned. I love to work in very planned and organized manner, and this was a complete opposite to my nature.

The manager came towards me and confidently said, “Sorry doc, but  I need this big favour from you.  The clients need to feel that this is a value added service we have arranged for them.”

I objected to his taking me for granted attitude and brought to his knowledge, the fact that I wasn’t an expert in finances.  To which he replied in an anxiety filled voice,

“I know doc. See Don’t worry about the financial inputs, I will help you with the same.  But teach them something that will help them.”

I thought... “Huh! Either this guy is a total lunatic or he is so stressed out he is relying on me to save him !!!”

Today while sitting and writing this article, I can easily label that next 3hour session as challenging and satisfying, but if I was asked the same question 5min before it started I would have said “I have no clue what I have put my foot into”.

I conducted an interactive session. Thou a bumpy ride, I was happy that in the end, I never needed the manager’s “financial inputs”. It was satisfying that every single participant including the Manager himself felt they had gained some insight on how to focus their energy to attract riches and luxury. 


Thou I would have loved to share the entire session with you, Hereby I share a few points that really stuck me on how a bunch of 13 people were actually stopping themselves from riches and luxury.

1.      Everyone wants the same.
Thou a group of 13 cannot speak for the entire society, but it was amazing that all of them had the same goals in life.  These can be categorized in 3 levels:

Level 1 - Essential goals - Having your own well furnished flat/house, having a car, a healthy bank balance and a stable monthly income. 

Level 2 - Super Essential goals – Once the essential has been achieved, then the next level is to look for more than one flat/house. A bigger car or more than one car. Luxury items like designer clothes, watches,  jewellery, high end mobile phones and regular international travel. 

Level 3 - Extreme luxury -  Houses/flats in different countries over the world.  A good number of luxury cars. Servants to take care of all needs.  Money is no longer the concern, but power is more of a need. Socializing within Page 3 circles. And having a name/fame in the society.
Shah Rukh Khan, Salman Khan, Amitabh Bachchan, Ratan Tata, Yash Birla, Vijaya Mallya are the best  icons of this level.

 
2.      “iSTOP” attitude vs .“iACHIEVE” attitude. 
It’s amazing how people go on a defensive when confronted with luxury.  The moment they see someone having a luxury car, a designer hand-bag, loads of money, etc. The first emotion that comes to their mind, is that of criticism: 
“He/she must have earned it all through illegal practices”
“He/she was lucky, I am not”
“He/she inherited it.”

“Everyone is born with their own luck”

“It must be some good karma”
“He/she made intelligent investments, I am not that good”


Criticising luxury immediately creates a negative image in your subconscious mind.  The more you criticise it, the more you train your subconscious mind to become averse to achieving luxury.
 The day your mind’s first and only emotions on seeing luxury are positive:
“I love it.”
“I am already on the path of achieving it”
“Nobody can stop me from getting it”
With no criticizing or negative thought involved, that day you know are on the path of achieving it.


3.      Fear of moving up the ladder.
The second biggest Road-block to achieving riches and luxury is the fear of losing what you already have.
Most people are fixated in getting their essential needs and protecting them.

They spend their entire life protecting their essential needs. 

Every single religion, every single self-help book, every single motivator in the world has said that the greatest power of human kind is the power of “self-belief”
The moment your “self-belief” gets satisfied by protecting what you already have, automatically you move miles away from achieving what you desire.
Self-belief can single handily get you every single luxury you want in life. Utilise it.


4.      “The Secret” - Passion 
How many times you have met someone in life, whose body language told you he/she wasn’t comfortable meeting you? Vice-versa how many times have you met someone whom you have liked instantly?
Our body, mind and soul send hundreds of conscious and subconscious signals. These signals determine our attachment or desire for something.
The moment you are passionate about something, your entire being tends to attract it.
Money can come in hundreds of ways, but riches, luxury, power and fame can only come if you have a passion for the same.
Learn to develop your passion for it.


5.      “Let luxury attract luxury”
How many times since childhood have we heard the phrase “money attracts money”.
Have you ever thought that how true it really is?
Most people wrongly presume that it means “a  million dollars will attract million dollar”, when it really means that “even a single dollar can attract million dollars”
A dollar well invested will give you two, two will become four and so on till a million dollars.
Invest a small portion of what you earn into buying a luxury for yourself. Everyday every moment, look, love, appreciate and nourish the feeling of owning a luxury. The longer you keep this feeling, the higher luxury you will attract. The lesser you keep it the lesser your attraction.


6.      Enjoy and accept Luxury 
It’s such a common behaviour that people don’t want to accept riches and luxury. The moment someone compliments you, 90% people go on a back-foot and try to find reasons to shun away the compliments.
From evil-eye, negative vibes to belief that it’s bad manners to blow one’s own trumpet... most people tend to marginalise from accepting riches and luxury.
Have you noticed how gracefully stars, businessmen, politicians accept compliments? How they believe that they deserve every single inch of what they have achieved
And how they make sure that others also know about it!
Start accepting compliments. Gracefully accept others appreciations. Let your subconscious know that you deserve the riches and luxury. Let your subconscious believe and let others know that you are made for riches and luxury.

I just realized how long this article has become. Thou that day we discussed many other issues relevant to this topic. From how to always make profit making investments, how to use money to generate power and fame, how to earn money sitting at home, etc but I suppose that will be later.

Thanks for reading and kindly leave you comments on the same,

Dr.Hemant MittaL
Motivational Speaker - Mind-Body Healer
(MBBS, PG.DPM, M.D.(Mind Mantra Wellness Concepts - Mumbai))
(Specialize in Emotional, Behavioural, Sleep, Memory, Concentration and Sexual Health)
Contact at -