"32yr old Sadhna filed for divorce 6months within marriage. They reason, her husbands chronic snoring problem."
"38yr old Raghav always felt sleepy. He was irritable and his concentration was weak. His family and friends always pointed towards stress. He did everything to battle stress, except take care of his sleeping habbits and snoring"
Snoring is one of the most common symptoms of physical illness prevalent in modern society. Its defined as the vibration of respiratory structures and the resulting sound, due to obstructed air movement during breathing while sleeping.
The irregular airflow is caused by a passageway blockage and usually due to one of the following:
a. Throat weakness, causing the throat to close during sleep
b. Mispositioned jaw, often caused by tension in the muscles
c. Fat gathering in and around the throat
d. Obstruction in the nasal passageway
e. The tissues at the top of airways touching each other causing vibrations
f. Relaxants such as alcohol or drugs relaxing throat muscles
g. Sleeping on one's back, which may result in the tongue dropping to the back of the mouth
It's the lack of proper breathing, which leads chronic snorers to develop decreased oxygen supply to the body, brain and heart. This eventually results in:
1. sleep deprivation to snorers and those around them,
2. daytime drowsiness,
4. lack of focus
5. decreased sexual performance.
6. clinical psychological problems like increased stress sensitivity, depression and anxiety.
7. social problems- partner irritability, those around them complain about the same.
8. Deadly consequences like - heart attack and brain stroke (which can lead to paralysis)
Unfortunately its one of the most neglected physical symptoms and one that is socially accepted.
Tips to cure snoring problems.
1. Sleep on your side
The theory is that when we lie on our backs the tongue and muscles in the throat collapse, constricting the airway and causing snoring.
2. Higher pillows
This aims to keep the airways open by supporting the neck so the throat is less constricted. It works fairly well until you fall asleep and slump down in the bed.
3. Breathe Right Nasal Strips
These are supposed to open your nostrils from the outside and they certainly do seem to do this. They can also provide temporary relief from nasal congestion and stuffiness caused by colds and allergies.
4. Snoreeze Oral Strips
These dissolving mint-flavoured strips target the main cause of snoring and are ideal if you tend to snore more when lying on your back. They contain a time-release formula, which coats the back of the throat throughout the night and reduces the vibrations of the soft tissues, helping to stop snoring.
You should cut down on cigarettes or, better still, give up completely. Also, try to have your last alcoholic drink at least four hours before you go to bed.
6. ENT Check up
To find if any internal nasal skin or thorat obstruction has developed. This might need surgery for treatment.
7. CPAP (continous positive air pressure)
a mechanical device that helps keep a positive air pressure. It's effective but expensive.
8. Sleep study
a sleep study to find out the effect of snoring on the brain and body.
Avoiding Sleeping Pills. Which 95% people take due to lack of proper sleep.
Consultation with your local sleep expert physican to take medications that will help in decreasing the nasal and throat congestion.
BE CAREFUL... BE HAPPY!!!
For any further Free Query on this topic you can email me at firstname.lastname@example.org
Dr.Hemant Mittal (MBBS, PGDPM)
“I wish I could control my mind”
“I would be more successful if I could win at mind games”
“I have a 6th sense that tells me if any wrong is going to happen. I just need to control it.”
In the dimension of ever-lasting happiness the biggest denominator to happiness is Mind Control. He who can control his mind can control the universe around him.
In a world full of external and internal conflicts, the mind is blinded to perceive the omnipresent happiness. The pages of history show us how the discourse of the Bhagvadh Gita, just before the Mahabharata empowered the warrior Arjun with a complete control over his fickle mind to regain the path to happiness.
If happiness was distributed freely, no one would ever understand its value and importance. Probably that’s the reason why nature has decided to put a heavy tag price on it. The bargain is to control the body’s most sensitive organ, the mind. Just imagine how the mental picture of a smiling baby changes your mood for a few seconds.
The mind is heavily influenced by 6 factors. These are the 5 senses (vision, touch, smell, taste and hearing) and the unconscious mind. The unconscious mind is the most dynamic of all these factors. Its primary role is to integrate all sensory inputs and create a set of memories, rule and regulations which constitute the blue print of an individual’s personality. As a person focuses more on resolution of external and internal conflicts, he loses control over the unconscious mind. This eventually causes a change in approach from experiencing happiness to searching for happiness. The consequences of this personality change affect the entire spectrum of social, personal and professional life. A slow but empathic development of degenerative qualities like:
a. Decrease in professional and personal potential.
b. Increased negative emotions like sadness, irritability, anger
c. Increased negative memories like repeated recollection of traumatic experiences
d. Increased negative thoughts like pessimism, guilt feelings and even suicidal thoughts.
are experienced by both the individual and those related to him.
Training is the process of constant practice of a certain techniques to reinforce and strength a certain skill. Weight training is the process of constantly practicing a series of scientifically drafted exercises that increase the endurance, strength and power of the muscles in the body.
Similarly Mind Training is the constant practice of specialized techniques that reinforce and fortify the unconscious boundaries. This works at multiple levels:
a. Protects against negative emotions, memories and thoughts.
b. Enhances the charm and persona of an individual
c. Enhances unconscious processes like memory, concentration, quickness in answering, efficiency at home and work.
d. Opens the unconscious eyes to happiness.
Mind Mantra provides individual and collective Mind training sessions. Our focus is to provide the best mind, emotion and behavioral solutions for long lasting happiness. The two primary lines of approach are:
1. Individual Mind boutique – A detailed discussion with the client to create a persona specific, specially designed and customized, framework of techniques that can be easily incorporated within the life-style of an individual. On a prima faci:
a. It revolves around effective utilization of time and mind resources to create the maximum impact within the minimum time and effort.
b. It’s a 100% client centric approach, whereby the professional mind trainer works as a facilitator rather than dictator.
c. All issues personal, professional, social and sexual are open to discussion depending upon client comfort level.
d. It’s effective for anyone from 17yr to 80yrs of age.
2. Collective Consciousness – a small group of individuals are integrated in a previously discussed environment to deal with common relative issues like:
a. effective (verbal and non-verbal) communication,
b. problem resolution in finding collective goal-oriented focus,
c. Design goal achieving techniques for personal, group and organizational satisfaction.
d. Increase group and organizational loyalty.
This is the 1st part of “Mind Training “ series. Those interested can directly contact us through the mind mantra website. (www.mindmantra.in)
The next part of this series will concentrate on the deeper aspects of mind training program through mind mantra.
Dr.Hemant Mittal (MBBS, PGDPM)
The trail of a Cheating Husband
“We had a love marriage. I trusted him blindly. I fought my family, society and friends for him. I still cannot believe it. He’s been having an affair with his secretary for 2yrs, and I just couldn’t sense it???” - Seema, 33yr old, BPO executive.
“Why me? I was a devoted wife, I took care of everything, his parents, the kids, the home. I never complained. I never asked for anything. Do I deserve this for trusting him? It’s been 3yrs since he has been in a relationship with her.” - Radha, 35yr old, housewife.
“I am so stupid…It all happened under my nose. You should hear what people say…The greatest Manager in the history of this Multi-national company couldn’t manage her own home. It’s devastating. It’s been a year, he gave so many cues, but I just couldn’t see” - Rohini, 36yr old, senior manager in a MNC.
The above are real life cases of adultery that I have interacted upon at the Mind Mantra clinic. The names have been changed to keep the information confidential. But the feeling that all of them share is the same. Undoubtedly a cheating husband is the most devastating psychological pain that any wife can be subjected to.
Biologically and psychologically men in general have a higher chance of cheating upon their partners. Mostly the “illicit” relationships arise out of need a fantasy or need for adventurous physical pleasure, but in many a cases it can be due to lack of emotional support at home.
Most men behave like boys when they are involved in an extramarital relationship. The guilt and excitement of a new female in their life, usually manifests through a lot of verbal and non-verbal cues. If a wife keeps her eyes and ears open, she can understand these cue’s and prevent such a happening.
The most common signs of cheating are:
1. Sudden Uncertain Schedules- Most men have a fixed life-style. Every day, every month, every year, year after year, they go to work at a specific time and come back at a specific time. Meeting, deadlines are normally advertised well in advance.
One of the first signs of a doubtful behavior are uncertain sudden changes in schedule (like sudden night long meetings, more work on weekends, problems with deadlines), long-late nights at work, increased frequency of office tours, increased complaining about co-workers and boss for increasing work burden..
The excuses are never-ending, with the purpose of spending more and more time outside home.
2. Guilt cover-up – The unconscious mind always wants to follow moral values. Men who are feeling guilty of what they are doing try to cover it up by giving extra attention to their wife. Sometimes they behave juvenile, newly-wed style. An increased expression of love through physical gestures like gifts, dinners, naughty text-messages, love letters, and even more intense love making is observed. Suddenly they rise from being “average” to “perfect husbands”
3. Hawk-eye – A happy relationship is based on the secret law of trust. Trust allows personal individualistic growth of each of the spouses. A man in an extra-marital relationship might suddenly keep extra scrutiny of his wife’s schedules. Minute to minute details are kept in memory. Specifics about the day’s activities, phone calls at odd times to secretly ask about their location, being more preoccupied with time and location is normally seen.
4. Secretive- Suddenly all his data will be password protected. Email address, cell phone, computers, are all going to have passwords. On being asked to unlock it, he might find excuses for the same. Else he would take some time to delete all sensitive data and than let his wife access data.
5. Looks- New focus on his looks. Sudden wardrobe changes, hairstyle changes, joining a gym, reducing weight are commonly observed.
6. Talk of town- Initial excitement normally leads a man to talk a lot about the particular female he is in or planning to get into an extra-marital relationship with. What starts with occasional updates, slowly might change into detailed description of her way of dressing, walking, likes, dislikes. He might also receive texts or calls from her, which are camouflaged as official work. On being questioned, normally she is portrayed as needing help and he as helping him.
7. Rumor-mill – When the chemistry between a man and a woman gets really good, rumors starting churning out fast. Many colleagues and friends might tease him at office parties and the odd looks from around the corners is more of a red signal of alert.
8. Fresh in morning, stale at night- Even if a man is tired because of work, he will always like to get intimate with his spouse. A change in sexual habits, with decreased interest in sex is quite significant of a changed mental status towards his relationship.
9. Arguments without a cause- If a man gets emotionally involved in his extra-marital relationship, his starts distancing from his family. Constant unwanted arguments, fights and excuses to stay out of home or at the “friends” place are experienced.
This article is meant to promote love and healthy relationships. It’s important for men to remember that a juvenile fantasy or short-term physical infatuation can destroy a healthy, happy and prosperous family life. It’s important for women to remember that a men might deviate from the righteous path because of a lack in communication, common goal-setting and common desires.
Dr.Hemant Mittal (MBBS, PGDPM)
Anger Management in Relationships
“I am short tempered, we have had many discussions, but we eventually end up more enlightened” Sumit, 34yr old software professional married since 3 years
“My husband is an animal when he gets angry. I have been beaten up many times...sometimes i feel like running away... but my kids!!!” Joana 35yr old, college professor.
“Ours was a love marriage, we knew each other very well. But after marriage, she hasn’t been able to adjust... she just gets angry without reason” Hari, 28yr old marketing executive.
Anger is a powerful emotion that can affect the happiness of any relationship. Excessive anger is one of the major reasons for constant disputes, abuse and separation of many relationships.
The age old teaching of “one partner has to be calm during an altercation” has lost its significance and importance in modern financial and social world.
Anger in relationships is very common and there could be an array of reasons to fuel it. It’s important to learn how to avoid anger and come out of the situation gaining love rather than losing respect.
The systematic approach to diffusing anger starts with identification and understanding of its origin. The most common relationships issues that lead to generation of dangerous and destructive anger are:
“Every time we try to get intimate, we end up fighting”
“My husband always says he enjoys the love-making, but I feel dissatisfied”
“My wife wants to have sexual relationships every night, she just doesn’t understand”
“He wants physical relationship only after getting drunk.”
The taboo to openly discuss about an individual’s sexual desires and sexual needs leads to hidden stress in a relationship.
Some of the key issues that are never discussed within a couple are :
a. Comfortable Frequency of sex in a week, month.
b. Comfortable days to have sex. (during menses, weekends, weekdays)
c. Desirable sexual positions
d. Foreplay and sexual performance
e. After sex talk
f. Wearing clothes or not during the act
g. Physical and mental condition of a person at that moment
h. Fantasies regarding it.
The lack of sexual satisfaction is one of the most common reasons to increase frustration and anger levels among couples.
It also forms one of the main reasons for extra-marital affairs or breakup of relationships.
Suspicion of Infedility
“My wife calls/sms more than 30times in a day, she gets angry if I don’t answer her”
“My girlfriend cann’t stand me talking to any other girl, why is she so insecure”
“Every time I come late from office, my husband feels uneasy”
“My boyfriend got a lesser job in my office, just to confirm if I was having an affair with my boss”
Suspiciousness or the fear of being cheated upon arises from the lack of trust between spouses or lovers. This lack of trusts spins out of a major defect in creating a firm and solid communication bridge among them.
Anger expressed with this feeling as the base is extremely destructive for a relationship.
Major communication gaps come in following areas:
a. Lack of understanding each other’s personality.
b. In case of an overtly suspicious partner, increased communication from the other partner is extremely important.
c. Extreme display of flirty nature might make your partner insecure.
d. Wearing clothes that are provocative.
e. Playing the blame game or insulting your partner.
"work, boss, travelling, and then she expects me to go out with her”
“I need to find a job else she won’t marry me”
“Children, Make-up, Client, Boss, After-event dinners, and he expects me to still have a happy face”
Earning money is not easy. Having a job, reporting to seniors, investing your money, travelling, always giving your best is a very tough emotional, physical and psychological task.
Job dissatisfaction, low self esteem, the pressure of bringing up kids all these add to an individual’s stress levels.
Home is the only place where an individual can vent out his stress. If he or she is not given a proper way to vent it out, it normally explodes as unexplained anger.
It’s important to find a common de-stressing activity for both partners.
Digging up old skeletons
“I told her about my past at the time of marriage, today 5yrs later she still brings that topic out”
“Every time my ex calls, she gets extremely sad”
“Since my husband knows that I have my ex-boyfriend on facebook friends list, every night we land up having a fight”
Many people preach or hold false-belief in modern ideologies of living. They still harbour rigid old generation thoughts about their husband or wife being a virgin and never have been in any relationship before.
Such people are very possessive and obsessed in trying to prove their deluded ideologies.
The best way is to create a communication bridge that shows a lot of transparency. It might be difficult at start, but on the long run can yield wonderful results.
“He spends money on brand new gadgets but if I have to account for every single hair clip I buy.”
“We both earn, but he says my salary should go for savings. I am left begging for money every month.”
“I love her like mad, but she won’t go out with me because I am not rich.”
“She keeps pressurizing me to earn more, else her father won’t say yes for marriage”
“Money is honey”... and every individual wants a spoonful of it. Every person is a little bit greedy about money. This greed remains even in the most love-filled of relationship.
It’s very important to set mutually agreed ground rules about income, expenditure and saving of money.
As mentioned, it has to be MUTUALLY agreed. The needs and desires of both should be democratically discussed and met. Any element of autocratic behaviour will lead to destructive anger.
Find the root cause of anger in your relationship, and eliminate it. Manage your life towards happiness.
Dr.Hemant Mittal (MBBS,PGDPM)
Body building is a great sport... it enhances the personality of an individual both biologically and psychologically... like any other sport or personality changing training it requires time and dedication... thousands of impatient youngsters take the short-cut, by consuming anabolic steroids without any professional supervision... Leading From mild effects like sexual dysfunction to major like psychosis (madness)-
the most common side effects:
1. elevate blood pressure,
2. harmful changes in blood cholesterol levels: some steroids cause an increase in LDL cholesterol and a decrease in HDL cholesterol.
3. Alter fasting blood sugar and glucose tolerance tests. Increasing risk of diabetes.
4. Increase the risk of cardiovascular disease or coronary artery disease.
5. Acne is fairly common due to stimulation of the sebaceous glands by increased testosterone levels.
6. Premature baldness
7. High doses of oral anabolic steroid compounds can cause liver damage,
8. There are also sex-specific side effects of anabolic steroids.:
a. Development of breast tissue in males, a condition called gynecomastia
b. Reduced sexual function in males
c. Temporary infertility due to testicular atrophy ( decrease in size and productivity of testicles.) This inhibits production of sperm. This is a temporary side effect. The size of the testicles usually returns to normal within a few weeks of discontinuing anabolic steroid use as normal production of sperm resumes.
d. Female-specific side effects include increases in body hair, deepening of the voice, enlarged clitoris, and temporary decreases in menstrual cycles.
Severe side effects of anabolic steroids-
a. In adolescents the steroids may prematurely stop the lengthening of bones resulting in stunted growth.
b. Accelerated bone maturation, that leads to decreased height in adolescents.
c. increased frequency and duration of erections. Also premature sexual development.
d. Alterations in the structure of the heart, such as enlargement and thickening of the left ventricle, hypertension, heart failure, arrhythmias and sudden cardiac death.
Upon administration, a small quantity of anabolic steroids goes to the brain through blood circulation. Over a long-run, these small quantities not only stimulate the brain , but also make it dependant on them. From the 1st dose onwards they start bringing small neuro-chemical and neuronal changes within the brain structure. These changes are manifested as severe psychiatric side effects.These include:
1. Aggression and hypomania- this is called "roid rage". Anabolic Steroids stimulate the brain upon consumption. This leads to increased irritability, hostility and anger. Once the anger is triggered, it can lead to disastrous consequences, even murder.
2. Clinical Depression and suicide - Both the consumption and withdrawal effects of anabolic steroids can trigger clinical depression and suicidal behaviour. Low self-esteem and lower levels of confidence, along with memory problems, concentration problems, sleep irregularities and negative thinking are prominently observed.
3. Addiction potential- They have very high addiction potential. Once such an addiction is triggered, the individual will spend majority of time, money and thought thinking over procuring the substance. The effect of the substance. He/she will require larger quantities of the substance. Over-indulgence in exercise, extreme episodes of violence, excessively thinking about the substance, extremes like involvement in anti-social activities to procure the substance can also occur.
4. Body dysmorphic disorder- A common mind-body interaction seen among anabolic steroid uses is the body dysmorphic disorder. An individual is always remains dissatisfied with his/her own body image. He intensifies the struggle to achieve a Adonis-like perfect body. This makes him overindulge in exercise, increased thinking about body building, increased learning and implementation about body building. This deviates him from his socio0cultural responsibilities and introduces personality changes, changes in sleep and appetite pattern , socio-cultural interaction which can lead to harmful effects including death.
5. Schizophrenia or Psychosis – Psychosis or developing an altered reality fully coloured with visions and voices is one of the severe most side effects of anabolic steroids. It’s mostly happens in cases of individuals with family history of schizophrenia, individuals in clinical depression or hypomanic state.
for further information contact me at -
Dr.Hemant Mittal (MBBS, PGDPM)
website - http://www.mindmantra.in
The Power of Love
Love is as critical for your mind and body as oxygen. It's not negotiable. The more connected you are, the healthier you will be both physically and emotionally. The less connected you are, the more you are at risk.
It is also true that the less love you have, the more depression you are likely to experience in your life. Love is probably the best antidepressant there is because one of the most common sources of depression is feeling unloved. Most depressed people don't love themselves and they do not feel loved by others. They also are very self-focused, making them less attractive to others and depriving them of opportunities to learn the skills of love.
There is a mythology in our culture that love just happens. As a result, the depressed often sit around passively waiting for someone to love them. But love doesn't work that way. To get love and keep love you have to go out and be active and learn a variety of specific skills.
Most of us get our ideas of love from popular culture. We come to believe that love is something that sweeps us off our feet. But the pop-culture ideal of love consists of unrealistic images created for entertainment, which is one reason so many of us are set up to be depressed. It's part of our national vulnerability, like eating junk food, constantly stimulated by images of instant gratification. We think it is love when it's simply distraction and infatuation.
One consequence is that when we hit real love we become upset and disappointed because there are many things that do not fit the cultural ideal. Some of us get demanding and controlling, wanting someone else to do what we think our ideal of romance should be, without realizing our ideal is misplaced.
It is not only possible but necessary to change one's approach to love to ward off depression. Follow these action strategies to get more of what you want out of life—to love and be loved.
• Recognize the difference between limerance and love. Limerance is the psychological state of deep infatuation. It feels good but rarely lasts. Limerance is that first stage of mad attraction whereby all the hormones are flowing and things feel so right. Limerance lasts, on average, six months. It can progress to love. Love mostly starts out as limerance, but limerance doesn't always evolve into love.
• Know that love is a learned skill, not something that comes from hormones or emotion particularly. Erich Fromm called it "an act of will." If you don't learn the skills of love you virtually guarantee that you will be depressed, not only because you will not be connected enough but because you will have many failure experiences.
• Learn good communication skills. They are a means by which you develop trust and intensify connection. The more you can communicate the less depressed you will be because you will feel known and understood.
There are always core differences between two people, no matter how good or close you are, and if the relationship is going right those differences surface. The issue then is to identify the differences and negotiate them so that they don't distance you or kill the relationship.
You do that by understanding where the other person is coming from, who that person is, and by being able to represent yourself. When the differences are known you must be able to negotiate and compromise on them until you find a common ground that works for both.
• Focus on the other person. Rather than focus on what you are getting and how you are being treated, read your partner's need. What does this person really need for his/her own well-being? This is a very tough skill for people to learn in our narcissistic culture. Of course, you don't lose yourself in the process; you make sure you're also doing enough self-care.
• Help someone else. Depression keeps people so focused on themselves they don't get outside themselves enough to be able to learn to love. The more you can focus on others and learn to respond and meet their needs, the better you are going to do in love.
• Develop the ability to accommodate simultaneous reality. The loved one's reality is as important as your own, and you need to be as aware of it as of your own. What are they really saying, what are they really needing? Depressed people think the only reality is their own depressed reality.
• Actively dispute your internal messages of inadequacy. Sensitivity to rejection is a cardinal feature of depression. As a consequence of low self-esteem, every relationship blip is interpreted far too personally as evidence of inadequacy. Quick to feel rejected by a partner, you then believe it is the treatment you fundamentally deserve. But the rejection really originates in you, and the feelings of inadequacy are the depression speaking.
Recognize that the internal voice is strong but it's not real. Talk back to it. "I'm not really being rejected, this isn't really evidence of inadequacy. I made a mistake." Or "this isn't about me, this is something I just didn't know how to do and now I'll learn." When you reframe the situation to something more adequate, you can act again in an effective way and you can find and keep the love that you need.
(This article was forwarded to me by a friend. And I thought it was apt to share it with all of you)
Dr.Hemant Mittal (MBBS, PGDPM)
The Stress Cycle
This is one of the most common health hazards that nearly 70% people face at least once in their life time. It not only affects a person emotionally, but financially and physically as it triggers repeated visits to doctors, blood checkups and medications.
What is The Stress Cycle?
It can be described as the following:
• You get negative moods or emotions caused by problems in at home, workplace, traffic, or friends. This ultimately led to generation of negative stress.
• This negative stress increases the biological demand on the body. This causes changes in blood circulation and weakens body immune system.
The most common physical manifestations of stress are high blood pressure, allergies, regular headaches, common cold, fever, digestive problems, memory problems, sleep problems, weight gain, concentration problems, sexual difficulties, hair fall, skin problems (acne, lack of glow on the skin).
• Since the root cause of Stress is never treated, these aliments keep recurring over a short period of time.
• The presence of negative stress along with recurring physical aliment, introduce change in your personality. This gives rise to negative attitudes and behaviors towards others.
• The realization that your behavior towards others has altered leads to further increase in negative stress and generation of anxiety.
• This newly added negative stress and anxiety reinforce your negative moods or emotions resulting in a full circle of stress.
Most stress sufferers can identify this stress cycle in their lives. But find themselves helpless to prevent it or battle it.
How to Prevent It?
The core belief of ancient medical practices, like ayurveda, has been treating the root cause.
To treat the root cause it’s important to identify the root cause.
If you are someone who has one or more of the above mentioned physical aliment then it’s time to introspect.
It’s time for you to think about your stress, how it has been affecting you, and what can be done to prevent it.
What is effective Help?
Modern living has introduced the concept of “immediate-results” or “short-term benefits” into our society. If you have the money and means, you can buy what you want. Certainly we carry that same attitude when it comes to health. You have a headache you take a pill. You have a common cold you take 2 pills. You have bad stomach you take a pill and powder. But when it comes to stress you just let it be.
In short, you never cure the main cause. You explore a 1000 ways to deal with it. You might even start a few of them, but along the way you forget and return back to the 1st square.
Like a small child, you blame the world and then you blame god. Still there is no solution. Finally you give up, and sit as lame duck for clinical depression to eat you over.
Effective help is a long term method. It might include some initial short term ways of bringing your stress down, but it focuses on long term ways to conquer stress and break the stress cycle.
“ Vikram and his family had noticed a change in his personality over the last few months. The pressure of performance at work, and the stressful commute were taking toll on him. He had become more irritable, pessimistic and violent. A visit to his general physician for continuous headache revealed high blood pressure. At 33yr, he was a mild hypertensive. His doctor asked him to take anti-hypertensive medication for 6months. A few weeks after starting medication, he noticed stomach problems starting to develop. He again visited his doctor, who thought it too be an Irritable Bowel Syndrome. A new tablet was added along with his already on-going anti-hypertensive. A few months later, he showed hair fall. He visited a dermatologist who introduced another tablet into his diet.
All his doctors told him to keep the stress down. Unfortunately, he knew about it, but never worked upon it.
I met Vikram, nearly 3years after he had been diagnosed with High blood Pressure. He still continued the tablet. Which in today’s society is sort of fashionable to consume? He still had his Irritable Bowel Syndrome, and he had lost all his hair. When I met him, he was suffering from Generalized Anxiety Disorder. That meant another pill to be added, but something that could be easily preventable.”
“Reshma was always a bold and beautiful girl. Her expectations from life were high. She wanted the best. A few years after her marriage, her personality started showing a change. She slowly became fearful, would dedicate most of her time taking care of her kids. Would involve herself in none productive work. Would spend time on the phone with her friends, or watching the T.V. slowly she gained a lot of weight, lost the glow on her face and skin started to sag. She visited a dermatologist for her skin treatment, when he suddenly happened to ask her about stress levels. She confessed to be feeling very lonely. Thou her family loved her she always felt more of the provider than the receiver of love.
She was referred for psychiatric help, which she never took.
5 yrs later, during one of her visits to India, she suffered a nervous breakdown. I was contacted by her family for a home visit. They wanted to keep the whole issue secret. I met her again at a coffee shop a few days after the incident. That’s when she told me, how she had been experiencing stress and its related physical aliment since more than 7yrs”.
“Shilpa was an amazing human being. She was always the first one to help others. This made her very popular among her peers and community. Being from a Punjabi background, she constantly faced the wrath of close family members for being over-weight. She had already been “rejected” by 5 prospective grooms because of her weight. Hundreds of thousands of rupees where spent on “helping” her become slim. From crash diets, to expensive slimming treatments, to liposuction, everything had been tried and failed. This issue had taken a dangerous effect on her mother. One day after battling it for few months, her mother walked into my clinic to seek treatment for severe depression that was forcing her towards suicidal thoughts. As Shilpa was accompanying her mother, I decided to psycho-analyze the young lady’s mind. It wasn’t soon before I found that she had a problem of compulsive eating. That was triggered by stress. Within 3 months Shilpa, lost 15kgs, and above all lost her stress. Today 9 months after I last met her, I daily bump into smiling, playful and cute pictures of her and her husband uploaded on Facebook”
Dr.Hemant Mittal (MBBS, PGDPM)
How to deal with difficult people?
Difficult people roam around the world like ghost souls in search of a prey. If you don’t deal with them properly, you might end up hurting your ego and psychological self. This can create huge stress and depression.
In the last few years, I have dealt with a lot of difficult people. Everything they have thought me something. Today when I sit and analyze all of them, I can pin-point few cardinal psychological points for dealing with them:
WHAT YOU DON’T HAVE to do:
• Don't take difficult people's behavior personally. Their troublesome behavior is habitual and affects most people with whom they come in contact.
• Don't fight back or try to beat them at their own games. They have been practicing their skills for a lifetime, and you're an amateur.
• Don't try to appease them. Difficult people have an insatiable appetite for more. They will eventually grow so big, that it would become easy for them to destroy you.
• Don't try to change them. You can only change your responses to their behavior.
• Don’t try to win the “I’m right or you are wrong” game. Their mind is loaded with thousands of heart pinching and mood de-stabilizing taunts/excuses/explanation than yours.
WHAT YOU HAVE to do:
• Stand up to them, but don’t fight. The more you run the more they will chase you. Be assertive in expressing your views. Remember don’t try to prove you are right. But express your views
• Learn to wait for your chance to strike.- the boxer who waits for his opponent to tire out is usually the one that succeeds, even if means to take a few initial blows. Similarly, with difficult people, never immediately go onto the offensive, let them ventilate a little and as soon as they are losing some breath, attack with tenacity, poise and purpose.
• Mask your emotions- Difficult people are known to use sarcasm, humor, and take pot shots on looks, attitudes, clothes, personalities. If these trigger an inferiority complex inside you, never let them know about it. As they wait to feed on your misery. Mask your emotions.
• Act dumb- If you’re being placed in a very uncomfortable situation, then start acting dumb. Even thou you might understand their motives, ask them to explain each one of them in detail. This takes the fizz out of the moment and they don’t find fun in it anymore.
• Avoid Negativity- “Criticism is good till it doesn’t become pessimism.” Many people always have pessimistic and negative opinions on every single issue. Don’t listen to them. Always try to keep focus on positivity.
• Break the silence- many difficult people just avoid or remain silent. Their answers are limited to a few words. Find out their topics of interest, and ask them questions over them. Let them “educate” you on those topics. Once you can break the silence they will respect you much more.
Hope these help you tackle all the difficult persons in your life. These are general guidelines to help everyone, in case someone needs a personal application and customization of the same, you are email me at email@example.com
Dr.Hemant Mittal (MBBS, PG.DPM)
Compulsive lying in children
Children lie. They just learn it. Children exaggerate, twist the truth, hide the facts, manufacture stories, and deny the obvious. This behavior is easily swept away from parental conscious as it doesn’t show till it doesnt show evil effects.
A matter of grave concern is a child who lies frequently. This psychological pattern is medically termed as Compulsive Lying. Once its onset, it not only works as catalyst to destroy the bond of trust between a child and parents, but also makes him susceptible to follow a future path of unruly and dishonest living.
Once it has been assimilated into a child’s personality it becomes increasingly difficult to stop it. This further catapults a child to experiment with socially unacceptable issues like addictions, adventurous sexual behavior and psychological instability.
Why should a parent be concerned about lying?
Scientific research over the last 50yrs has carried out millions of MRI scans, EEG, and brain mapping tests to find that "lying" is produced by activity in the frontal lobe of the brain. Therefore, Compulsive lying becomes an early symptom of hyperactive frontal lobe functioning.
It’s also an early symptom that indicates an underlying medical problem. Most commonly such a behavior can be associated with following cases:
a. AD or Attention deficit disorder
b. ADHD or attention deficit hyperactive disorder
c. Conduct Disorder
d. Childhood depression
e. Anxiety/stress – this is a spectrum of conditions. The most common forms of anxiety are:
1. Overtly dominant and abusive parent
2. Overtly dominant and abusive class teacher,
3. Overtly dominant and abusive class mate/ bully
4. Living in an hostile environment
5. Adjustment disorder with environment- a child studying in a higher or lower socio-economic class school might lie to make friends.
6. Family Stress- broken homes, constant fights between parents, fight between various family members.
Behaviors patterns associated with compulsive lying?
Compulsive lying slowly succeeds in introducing socially unacceptable behavioral changes within the personality of a child. The success of compulsive lying triggers a child’s mind to use the same technique in socially inadequate behavior patterns like :
3. aggression or violent temper tantrums,
4. skipping school,
5. constantly losing items,
6. inattentiveness or decreased concentration which leads to decreased marks in class.
7. discomfort with social situations
8. poor behavior among groups, social settings or with authority figures.
Children who start to show any of the above erroneous behavioral patterns, are most susceptible to fall prey of anti-social activities in their near future. Such children are known to be easily attracted to addictions, multiple sexual adventures, relationship problems, uncontrollable anger, mood instability and criminal activities (like conning, stealing and even murder).
Why does compulsive lying happen?
There are still some fundamental reasons why children lie compulsively.
1. Fear. Fear is a common motivator for lying. Such fear may be rational or irrational, but the effect of lying is similar - a temporary shelter from punishment.
2. Habit. Lying can also become a habit formed through constant practice. In such cases “lying becomes a reflex”, and when confronted with any situation, their first response is a lie. Habitual lying is often strengthened by hostile confrontation.
One of the most effective ways of dealing with habitual lying is to give the child an opportunity to retract the lie without fear of consequences.
3. Psychological Modeling. Children can learn to lie through experiencing others lie.
One potent source of modeling, is from within the home. "Moderate" lying is thought of by many parents as harmless (such as a "white" lie, or a "harmless excuse") or mistakes (such as an unkept promise), or even purposeful and calculated distortions of the truth ("I had to lie because..."). Since the mind of a child can judge a situation as black or white, he doesn’t comprehend the “Grey” area where such a harmless behavior should be used.
The second most powerful source of modeling is friends circle or classmates. Unfortunately pressurizing a child to choose only friends of parental-choice can lead to decreased development of social skills.
4. Overprediction. Children also lie because they overpredict a reaction. I had seen a case where the child lied because he predicted behavior patterns of his parents and teachers based on his knowledge of the same.
How to Deal with it?
Dealing with compulsive lying is a tricky job for most parents. It requires a step-wise control.
Step 1- Realize compulsive lying is a serious problem. – most parents and society term it as “naughty behavior”, leaving it unattended for years together. It’s important to remember that it not only can develop distorted behavioral patterns, but give rise to future conditions like relationships problems, addictions, anti-social behavior and adjustments disorders.
“prevention is the best cure”
Step 2- Identify the social, emotional and psychological causes leading to such behavior.
Step 3- Sit and talk with your child. Remember one talk won’t change things. You need to develop a communication bridge and slowly introduce the concept of honesty.
Step 4- Make certain ground rules about lying for the child to follow.
Step 5- If the child breaks the ground rules, punish him. Punishment should be firm, more directed to bring psychological change and above all humane.
If after all your efforts the child doesn’t show any improvement, and you receive complains of certain behavioral problems arising due to it, immediately consult your local psychiatrist/psychologist to identify the deeper conscious/unconscious nuances of the problem. ( remember a psychiatrist/psychologist don’t treat mad people, but treat distorted emotional, behavioral and psychological patterns).
If you know of some kid who is suffering from such a problem, do help him get on the right path.
Dr.Hemant Mittal (MBBS, PGDPM)
Déjà Vu- Seeing The Unseen
What is Déjà Vu?
Déjà vu is a French phrase meaning "already seen", and it’s used to describe the psychological experience of feeling sure that one has witnessed or experienced a new situation previously. An individual feels as though an event has already happened in the recent past although the exact circumstances of the previous encounter are uncertain.
In medical terms it is also called paramenisa or promnesia.
The experience of déjà vu is usually accompanied by a compelling sense of familiarity, and also a sense of "strangeness" or "weirdness".
Common misconceptions used by people to explain Déjà Vu?
The previous experience is most frequently attributed to:
1. a dream,
2. past life experience
3. black or white magic /spells
How does the memory system in our brain work?
To understand the concept of Déjà vu we have to understand how the memory system works. It can be divided into following steps (the language used is minimally scientific to ease its understanding):
1. Experience presentation- The conscious mind comes in contact with an experience. This experience is a combination of one or more of the 5 basic senses along with emotions and feelings.
2. This experience stimulates the brain to secrete neuro-chemicals. These chemical act on different parts of the brain to instantly create a short-term memory.
3. Short term memory is part of the memory system, were a memory is stored for a very short time. This could be a few seconds to few minutes. It’s because of this volatile nature that most information stored into it is normally lost.
When a short-term memory is recalled into the conscious mind, an individual feels the sensation of present time. The notion of present time, place and person is based on this interaction.
4. Long term Memory- When a short term memory is further reinforced by some stimulus or experience, a new set of neuro-chemicals react to store it into the deeper cells of the brain. It then gets converted into what is called a long term memory. The duration of this memory ranges from a few hours to years or even a life-time.
When this memory is brought into the conscious mind, an individual describes it as recalling an experience from the past.
Why does “Déjà Vu” really happen?
1. Scientifically déjà vu is not an act of "precognition" or "prophecy," but rather that it is an anomaly of memory system in the brain.
This can be proved by the fact that the sense of "recollection" at the time is very strong in most cases, but that the circumstances of the "previous" experience (when, where, and how the earlier experience occurred) are quite uncertain.
In “Déjà vu” the new stimulus or experience of an individual is stored both in short term and long term memories simultaneously. This anomaly gives a perception of having previously experienced a newly encountered situation.
2. Neuro-chemically it’s attributed to being a hyperdopaminergic state. That means increased secretion of dopamine in certain lobes of the brain.
When does “Déjà vu” happen?
The experience of “Déjà vu” has been linked with a serious of psychological causes, namely:
a. Highly psychologically emotional states
b. High anxiety
c. Dissociative identity disorder or depersonalization disorder
d. Clinical Depression
It has also been linked with certain neurological disorders:
a. Temporal Lobe Epilepsy
b. Non-pathological epilepsy like Hypnagogic jerk- the sudden "jolt" that frequently, but not always, occurs just prior to falling asleep
It has also been found to commonly occur in other general medical conditions like:
a. Combined Intake of drugs amantadine and phenylpropanolamine (used in common cold medications).
b. Drugs that increase the dopamine levels of the brain.
Treatment for “Déjà vu”?
“Déjà vu” isn’t classified as a disorder by modern medicine. But in cases of a more than one episode per month, an immediate neuro-psychiatric consult is required. In many cases it’s a very important symptom to early diagnose and cure otherwise dreadfully dangerous disorders.
If you know someone who is suffering from symptoms of the same, do get him the right treatment.
Dr.Hemant Mittal (MBBS, PGDPM)
SEXUAL HARRASSMENT- The hidden Truth!!!
“A player of Indian women’s hockey teams complaints of sexual harassment by the coach”
“A woman leaves her job, citing differences with management, when the actual reason was her senior’s constant unwanted touching.”
“An upcoming actress is asked for sexual favors in return of a significant role in the movies”
“A 14yr girl suddenly refused to attend school. Her behavior changed to irritable and violent. On psychiatric evaluation it was found that her class teacher had been kissing and fondling her for past 6months. He constantly threatened to fail her in exams if she spoke about it.”
“A man is pinched on the butt by her female boss, and a few days later asked to attend a party at her house. On the day, at the venue, he finds himself alone with his boss who is dressed in sexually provocative style. During the interaction she repeatedly forces herself onto him, he runs out of the apartment just to find himself fired from job next morning.”
These are common examples of the great social evil called “sexual harassment” that plagues our society. Sexual harassment is probably the most common crime committed thru the entire spectrum of social involvement. Every day thousands of men and women are sexually offended at hospitals, schools, corporate houses, offices, courtrooms, etc.
It also has the distinction to being one of the most neglected and concealed crimes within the society. I recently met with a few clients who had quit their jobs because of this evil. The most devastating part was that senior management who knew of what was going on, offered them “significant compensation” a.k.a “a monetary benefit or good remark on the appreciation card” to keep it secret and in some cases to even keep suffering it.
Family pressure, Management pressure, Social pressure, Religious pressure are some of the reasons that 99% of such crimes are never brought to light. Thou it can happen to both men and women. The society has a myopic view point when a man is involved and a crucifying one, when a woman is involved.
Hereby, let’s look at what the whole spectrum of sexual harassment compromises off.
What is sexual harassment?
Its commonly defined as intimidation, bullying or coercion of a sexual nature or the unwelcome or inapproriate promise of rewards in exchange of sexual favours.
The Supreme Court Guidelines on Sexual Harassment, 13 August 1997 has defined sexual harassment as unwelcome sexually determined behavior such as:
a. Physical contact
b. A demand or request for sexual favors
c. Sexually colored remarks
d. Showing pornography
e. Any other unwelcome physical, verbal or non-verbal conduct of a sexual nature
This definition has been further described in detail as following categories of sexual harrasment:
The verbal form of sexual harassment include any one or more of the following incidents:
1. Sexual or gender-based jokes or teasing or comments.
2. Comments about clothing, personal behavior, or a person's body.
3. Requesting for sexual favors.
4. Pressure for dates or meetings outside the professional boundaries.
5. Graphic descriptions of pornography.
6. Obscene phone calls.
7. Spreading rumors about a person's personal or sex life.
8. Turning work discussions to sexual topics (using "puns”).
The non-verbal forms of sexual harassment include any one or more of the following incidents:
1. Staring Sizing up a person’s body (looking up and down).
2. Derogatory gestures of a sexual nature.
3. Sexually suggestive looks- Facial expressions of a sexual nature; winking, licking lips.
This includes :
1. Unwelcome hugging or kissing.
2. Standing too close to or brushing up against another person, leaning over, invading a person's space without her/his permission.
3. Patting, stroking, grabbing or pinching someone.
4. Blocking someone's path with the purpose of making a sexual advance.
5. Actual or attempted sexual assault or forced fondling.
Visually sexual harassment is defined as:
1. Presence of posters, cartoons, drawings, calendars, pinups, pictures, computer programs of a sexual nature.
2. Notes or e-mail containing sexual comments
Sexual harassment is a very dangerous behavioral trait. The perpetuators of such a crime are normally using such behaviors to manifest one or more parts of a defect in their personality. They require immediate neuro-psychiatric help. If not helped and left untreated such menace of the society can go on to commit serious crimes like sexual molestations of minors, sexual perversions (inflicting physical pain to their sexual partners), date-rape, rape, or even murder.
The victims of such a sexual offence suffer with severe emotional and psychological damage. Keeping in mind that social, religious and moral teachings say that Privacy, modesty and sexuality are the most sacred traits in an individual’s personality. When an individual suddenly faces with unwanted intrusion into this personal space, the unconscious mind tries to retaliate. If the intrusion is persistent and the victim helpless to control it, it immediately leads the unconcious to dive into despair, hopelessness and worthlessness. This had devastating consequences on the self-esteem, which are manifested by severe medical problems like clinical depression, addictions, inappropriate sexual behavior and suicides.
How to fight Sexual Harassment?
1. If you know of anyone or any form of sexual harassment happening within your social limits, raise your voice against it.
2. Spread the knowledge about sexual harassment to all your friends and family.
3. Children should be educated to come and share about any awkward behavior by teachers or instructors. Children should be given confidence of parents standing by their side no matter what happens.
4. Children and Adults should be educated on healthy sexual practices, so they never develop such behaviors.
5. If you know anyone who has suffered such an atrocity, stand by that person. Give them support, and help them seek professional help if required so.
An educated society is the first step in fighting the evils of sexual harassments.
Dr.Hemant Mittal (MBBS, PGDPM)
The virtue of productivity.
Productivity has been the essential for survival. Be it the time of caveman, when men went out to hunt for food or the modern day money seeking culture. Productivity has been the barometer of an individuals socio-cultural standings.
In the past 20years, technology has evolved to revolutionise the productivity of human kind to levels never known before. This demand for increased productivity has been instrumental in changing the socio-cultural make up of the entire society. The best example is seen within our own country, India. A culture essentially divided among caste and religion has slowly started concentrating more on monetary aspects, fame and power of an individual. Gone are the days when a low-caste or non-believer couldn't enter places of worship, restaurants or recreational spots. Today the flash of a credit card, celebrity status, or powerful connection can open the door of even the most sacred shrines. The higher bidders not only get to worship for longer time, but have the so-called pure "pundits" literally serving them as servants.
The virtue of a man is defined by the effectiveness and importance of his produce than his caste, creed or religion.
A persons produce is today quantified through the qualities of fame, money and power. This has further divided the society into 2 groups of producers-
a. True producers- they follow a common plan on action. They gain a knowledge about a particular skill. Later utilise that skill to increase their productivity. The path is one of struggle, full of teachings and full of emotions. Being a safer bet, most people love to take and preach this path.
b. False producers- they are those who break the rules. They want to achieve everything without any plan. They utilise unlawful activities to achieve productivity. They never understand the importance of struggle, never understand human emotions and normally fade into oblivion past their prime.
Who is the best producer?
its a personal choice. It depends on personal influences since childhood, needs of survival and social viewpoints that can be accepted or broken.
What is the need to understand which type of producer you are?
To keep effectivly producing an individual needs to introspect from time to time. The need to gain new skills, new attitudes and new approaches is very important to keep the brain, mind and personality productive.Those who become rigid, slowly lose their value.
Until when does one need to produce?
From birth to death. The moment you stop being of use, people tend to leave you aside and treat you as unwanted.
A 6months child provides joy by laughing and expectations about the future
A 26yr old man provides money, fame or power.
A 35yr old woman provides with being the center pillar of strength in her house.
A 65yr old man provides as knowledge giver to younger generations.
The secret of eternal youth lies in keeping yourself productive.
If you know someone who doesn't produce to his potential, motivate him/her. Because productivity is the basis of successful life.
Dr.Hemant Mittal (MBBS, PG.DPM)
The corporate world is one of the biggest employers and financial movers of modern India. The financial power with which it enriches its employees many a times overpowers the health hazards it exposes them to.
“Silent death” or a number of unaccounted deaths among corporate sector employees is on an alarming rise. While multinational corporations are in a hurry to make good profits, its employees battle to keep their mind and body, healthy and productive.
5 common health problems faced by corporate employees are:
1. Eye and Eye-sight problems- Long hours before the computer induce irritation and dryness of eyes. This leads to itching, redness, tearfulness and soreness of eyes.
The constant stress on the eyes leads to decrease in vision. Common complaints of long lasting and persistent frontal headaches are mostly related to eye-sight problems.
2. Obesity- poor eating habits mainly indulgence in high calorie and high fat foods. Lack of exercise and sedentary life-styles has lead to dramatic increase in number of obesity cases among corporate employees. This has ensured fat incomes for all those working in weight loss industry, medical field related to heart disorders, blood pressure and heart attacks.
3. Lower back and neck pains- Poor sitting postures, and poor non-orthopedically designed office chairs increase the strain on lower back and neck. Over a period of time this leads to internal compression of nerves and muscles, manifesting as acute, throbbing and shooting pain predominantly in the lower back and neck regions. The Orthopedicians are jumping in glory with the rise in number of cases of spondylitis (increase in bone size of neck), sexual problems due to lower back disorders, vertebrae (back bone) disorders, sleep difficulties, needle pricking sensations and numbness feelings in the soles and legs.
4. Air conditioner induced problems – Air conditioning is a very integral part of every corporate office. Proper maintenance of Air conditioning and disinfection of rooms are many times neglected in offices. The low temperature, painted walls, carpeted flooring and external warm temperature provides excellent environment for all bacteria to grow and flourish. These bacteria affect majority of office air, leading to respiratory diseases (like asthma, difficulty in breathing), skin diseases (like acne, rashes) and allergic reactions.
5. Sleep disorders – Today’s work environment revolves around productivity and competition. To be efficient in duties, an employee requires to maintain high productivity level. This increases stress levels to alarming levels, as it requires longer hours of work (without extra payment), more efficiency in producing quality work in given deadlines and battling office politics. The major side effect of all this is sleep deprivation, increased time to fall asleep, increased preoccupation with office-related thoughts, fractured sleep due to constant ringing of cell phone or blackberry updates and decreased sense of freshness in the morning. This in turn takes a mental toll on an individual by subjecting him to chronic fatigue disorder, irritability, clinical depression, generalized anxiety disorder, high blood pressure and decreased immune system.
It’s the duty of a company to take care of its employees. Sadly in corporate India, every employee is by himself. The occupational therapy programs are quick fix capsules to please everyone in the heirchey rather than benefit the employee. Feed-back mechanisms to keep a tab on employee progress are totally focused towards his productivity and not even 20% consideration given to his health.
Large attrition rates, high number of holidays from work and lesser output in productivity can easily be tackled if the companies would develop a more humane angle to employee health than just ultimate productivity.
Dr.Hemant Mittal (MBBS, PGDPM)
Roshan smiling and loosing himself into a bygone memory, told me how his friends would call him before or morning after a party and taunt "Hey dude, can next time you guys just tone it down!! Please don't look so good together, it becomes so difficult to handle comparisons at home later?"
But everything wasn't in the pink of health under this umbrella of love and perfection. Neither of them remembered when exactly the storm started. In the beginning it was just small naughty and playful taunts Maria would throw randomly onto Roshan. She would cutely and lovingly accuse him of eying other woman or finding them more attractive. He would play along and after a few minutes of teasing would finally end up professing his unconditional love for her. Like any other couple, it was all in good humor and a great way to spice up their relationship.
Somewhere down the line, things started to change. A year and half into marriage,
Under this umbrella of love and perfection, everything wasn't perfect. Even if they tried, they
many times his friends questioned him,
5yrs ago. has been married since 5years. On wedding day, everyone who saw the couple couldn’t stop from commenting on the amazing compatibility and soul-connect they shared. For the next 5years they remained example of “picture-perfect love” to both family and friends.
Within the cocoon of their private life a disaster was waiting its turn to create havoc. Slowly over a period of time, her happy married life turned into a living inferno. She started believing that her husband was having an affair with his secretary. The stress of being cheated had bulldozed her mind to keep a constant track of him. She would call him 30 times a day, call his office 40times a day, would scrutinize his belonging and documents for any clues. What initially was seen as a cute lovely behavior slowly turned into a disastrous obsessive compulsive daily torture. The friends were the first to intervene. When they failed, matters were taken to the elders of the family. A number of detectives where secretly hired to make her believe in his faithfulness. Everything proved to be futile as she refused to believe anyone except herself.
After numerous holistic, elders and friends counseling failed to help her, she was brought to my mind mantra clinic. All this had already made her believe that everyone was supporting her husband. This naturally was the ultimate ploy to prove her mad, so he can get an easy divorce and marry that new girl.
On my initial interaction, I let her speak. She first pleaded and then cried. Finally she understood I was harmless in all respects, she started speaking. She spoke for 45min. She poured her heart out and trusted me with her deepest fears.
At the end of my evaluation, I concluded she was suffering from Othello Syndrome”
What is Othello Syndrome?
It’s a psychiatric in which a person holds a false, firm and fixed belief that their spouse or sexual partner is being unfaithful.
What are the symptoms of Othello Syndrome?
They are as following:
1. An affected person typically makes repeated accusations of infidelity based on insignificant or minimal evidence, often citing seemingly normal or everyday events or material to back up their claim.
2. They also take great pains to test their partner's fidelity and can go to considerable lengths to monitor their behavior and movements. For example- They might contact “private-detectives”, daily scrutinize the movements of their loved ones, or secretly follow their partners to work.
3. It starts with what seems as cute possessive behavior, but it can move into violent outburst of emotions. Episodes of verbal or physical abuse are commonly reported. Normally they come back pleading for sorry after such episodes are typical behaviors.
4. Constant preoccupation with this topic is noted in their thought and talk.
Who are susceptible to develop it ?
It’s found among both men and women. It can develop in any person. Normally the affected individual have one or more of the following:
a. inferiority complex – this can be due to low body image, low self-esteem.
b. High possessive behavior about friends
c. Lack of love or traumatic childhood.
d. sexual dysfunction.and a dis-satisfied sexual life.
d. Untreated long standing Clinical Depression
e. Alcoholism, cocaine addictions, cannabis addiction and ampthetamine addictions
f. Paranoid, schizoid, obsessive compulsive personality disorders
g. Family history or personal history of schizophrenia or bipolar disorder.
What is the cure?
It’s an illness that develops over a period of time.
a. In initial stages- it can be treated with proper counseling.
b. In later stages- it causes change in secretion of neurochemical dopamine in the brain. It requires medications that help in bringing the level of dopamine to normal. A neuro-psychiatrist should be consulted in respect.
If you know someone who has such a problem or who shows signs of developing such problem, immediately help him. Timely intervention can bring him/her back to normalcy. They might not realize it at that stage, but will thank you all their life.
Dr.Hemant Mittal (MBBS, PGDPM)
email - firstname.lastname@example.org
website - www.mindmantra.in
Childhood Depression - The monster within!!!
“Ronnit, 9yr old walked into the mind mantra clinic very angry and irritable. If it was not for the towering presence of his father, he would have thrown verbal and physical tantrums. His parents were worried with his increasing bad behavior complaints from school and decreasing grades over the last one year”
“Mona, 12yr old entered the mind mantra clinic with tears in her eyes, hugging her teddy bear very tightly. Since 2yrs she stopped taking interest in studies, would sit long hours at one place, wouldn’t play with her friends and would cry without reason. The preoccupied parents had taken her to every astrologer, tantric, general physician in the area, but nothing had helped.”
Both of them were cases of Childhood depression.
What is Childhood Depression?
Clinical Depression is a scientifically proved illness. The most deadly form of this illness is its childhood manifestation.
In a child or adolescent the brain is very young and in developing stage. If such a brain is exposed to untreated clinical depression, permanent changes start happening in the brain structure and its blood circulation. This makes the child vulnerable to develop adult psychological illness like dysthymia (chronic depression), generalized anxiety disorder, uncontrolled anger, impulse control disorder, self-harming behavior and personality disorders.
These illnesses cloud the happiness seeking behavior of an individual, and lead him to walk the deep dark streets of altered socially-unacceptable emotional and sexual behaviors patterns.
Symptoms of Childhood depression?
The child has to be between 5-14yrs. If over the past 2months has developed 3 or more of the following, parents should seek professional help:
• several episodes of sadness, crying and tearfulness seen over the day, and more than 5 thru out the week.
• Decreased interest in previously enjoyed activities.
• negative thoughts are prominent
• Constantly bored, and complaints of low energy.
• started losing friends, becoming alone. isolating himself from friends.
• Low self esteem and guilt
• Extremely sensitive to failure, rejection or minor scolding.
• Increased irritability, anger, or hostility. episodes of breaking or throwing objects.
• Difficulty in carrying a happy and nice conversation. Constant use of sarcasm, foul language, or taunts.
• Frequent complaints of headaches and stomachaches without any medical condition being present.
• Frequent absences from school or complaints of inattentiveness from teacher
• Poor concentration and dramatic decrease in grades compared to previous years.
• A change in weight or eating pattern. A change in sleeping pattern.
• Trying to spend more time with friends than with family members. any episode of running away from home.
• Thoughts or expressions of suicidal or self-hurting behavior.
Why does childhood depression progress?
The illness reaches alarming proportions because all multi-fold therapies are not applied together. In fact they are done in a phased way which decreases their curing potentials.
Parents normally notice change in behavior within 3months of starting of the problem. The normal ritual followed is:
a. 1st they try counseling the kid.- unfortunately in most households this phase is mishandled. Parents compare the kid to their own situation. Instead of motivating the kid, the child’s mind starts feeling guilty and more depressed.
Some parents compare the child with some relative or friend. This again triggers more depression as the child’s mind starts feeling worthless in front of his only support system.
The last technique is parents tell a child what actions to take to tackle the situation. Since these actions are based on the socio-cultural exposure parents have got, not what the child has got, it has a high chances of failing.
e.g. In the case of Ronnit, he was being teased by a few classmates for being shorter. His mother told him to ignore them, and father told him to fight. When he tried to fight he was beaten up. This broke his trust in parental advice.
b. 2nd is to meet some holistic healer. – help by providing amulets, prayers and mantra’s for success. Since the results aren’t immediate, the depression keeps ruminating in the child’s brain.
Many times the rituals themselves make the child feel hopeless.
c. 3rd is to consult their pediatrician or general physician- most of them give good counseling. It helps the child in confidence building. Since a child requires constant boost of confidence, and consult the doctor is not feasible, over a period of time, the single episode of counseling loses its effect.
d. 4th is to finally consult a psychiatrist. This happens when 90% parents get frustrated by the failure of all “holistic” therapies. By this time the communication gap between parent and child normally reaches alarming levels. The behavior, emotional self and scholastic performance of the child is highly unacceptable by both parents and society.
If you identify a child with possible depressive symptoms, alert his parents. Make sure he gets proper professional help that tackles all aspects of the problem. Emotional, psychological and spiritual.
5-Deadly effects of Cell Phones
Do you get frequent headaches?
Are you not able to sleep well?
Have you started getting angry or irritable easily?
If you are a regular cell phone user, you might be experiencing the deadly effects of cell phone emitted radation. If exposed for long periods of time, cell phone emitted radiation has fatal effects on the brain and its cells.
Over last few months,many indian news channels have demonstrated the dangerous radioactive waves emerging from cell phone towers that are affecting the public of all major cities.This has even prompted some state governments to revise their outlook towards the usage of cell phone and cell towers.
The nature of this slow poison, prompted me to think and research on it. I contacted some european and USA individual researchers to gain deeper insights into the topic. It was astonishing to find out that big buisness houses had used power and money to suppress the publication of many truth revealing researches on in area.
Five common symptoms, I have come through in chronic cell phone users( a person with more than 2hours of cell phone usage per day) are as follows:
a) Headaches- headaches that normally start from one side of the brain and might progress throughout it.Their repeated nature can make them a serious chronic problem. These headaches differ in seriousness from mild to very severe.
b) Memory and concentration problems: Chronic cell phone users report of decrease in the memory and concentration power.This gives rise to a decreased reaction time, which hampers with their personal and professional lifes.
c) Medical complications- Increased heart rate, Palpitations(feeling one's own heart beats) and increased blood pressure are some of the common general medical findings frequently discovered in such cases.
d) Sleep disturbances- Failure to get a peaceful sleep. Problems in either starting or maintaining a continous sleep are very commonly reported. The lack of sleep leads to sleepiness throughout the day which in turn might cause serious issues like dizziness, nausea and vomiting.
e) Emotional effects: Episodes with Outburst of uncontrolled emotions. The most commonly observed effects are increased susceptibility to anger, irritation and sadness. Lesser tolerance to stress and development of explosive behaviour are very commonly reported by friends and family.This indicates an increased stress load on the nervous system, taking it closer to breakdown point.
Cell phone usage is unavoidable in many circumstances due to social, financial and personal reasons.
Every person needs to understand these invisible dangers. Only through knowledge can be develop healthy cell phone usage and protective mechanisms against such a neuro-degenerating danger.