sibling rivalry

Sibling Rivalry

Sibling rivalry is a type of competition or animosity among siblings which becomes very difficult for parents to handle. The animosity if not taken care of in childhood, leads to extreme negativity and fighting as adults.

While every brother-sister or brother-brother fight, competition to such an extent is not healthy as it creates a negative self-image in one of them.

Here are 20 ways to help that your child battle sibling rivalry -

1. Make friends before birth. Get your older child acquainted with the new baby before birth.
Let him/her pat the baby beneath the bulge, talk to baby, and feel baby kick.

2. Make the older sibling feel important.
visitors will normally bring gifts for the new born baby. In this case keep a few small gifts in reserve for the older one.
Let him/her be the one to unwrap the baby gifts and test the rattles.
Give your child a job in the family organization. Make him feel important in regard to the baby.

3. Time share. What bothers children most is sharing you with the new baby. Since the concept of sharing is foreign to the child, so spend time with the child. give him importance.

4. Stay positive. Promoting sibling harmony requires a bit of parental marketing. You may think that your older child should be thrilled to have gained a live-in friend, but children are often preoccupied with what they've lost. They're not so keen on sharing their toys, their room, and most importantly, their parents with someone else. Turn this around to help the normally egocentric child to imagine, "what's in it for me?"

5. Begin the day in harmony.

6. increase sensitivity.-  It's hard to hate and hit a person you care about and who cares about you.  You can nurture patterns of life-long friendship among your children by helping them find constructive ways to be sensitive to each other.
making the older one in charge.
making him a comforter.
making him a teacher.

7. Set limits.  The children have to learn that the limits have been reached and more socially-acceptable behavior must follow.

8. Hold family meetings.

9. Humor is the best medicine. Humor the child into reality.

10. introduce team spirit. - family trips, sundays, shopping, all help to introduce team spirit.

11. Promote empathy.

12. Promote gender sensitivity.

13. Children do not have to be treated equally. While children are created equally, it's impossible to treat them that way all the time. In their desire to prevent sibling squabbles, parents strive to do everything the same way for all their children, whether it's buying pajamas or selecting a chocolate. Children aren't the same.. you don't need to behave as if they were.
Make moment-by-moment decisions.

14. Every child is a favorite. It's unrealistic for parents to claim they never play favorites. Some parents' and some childrens' personalities clash..Some children bring out the best in their parents, others push the wrong buttons. The key is to not let your children perceive this as favoritism.

15. Minimize comparisons. This is also the basis for feelings of inferiority, which encourages undesirable behavior among siblings. Praise your child for accomplishments in relation to herself and not in comparison to a sibling.

16. Referee quarrels.

17. Listen to both sides.

18. Round table talk. Promote speaking the truth.. have the children face to face when you talk about an issue.

19. When in doubt, intervene. Seek professional help. You may hear the social myth, "Oh, they'll just grow out of it!" Both experience and research has shown that without parental guidance, siblings with bad relationships are likely to grow into adults with bad relationships.
The more they are allowed to fight as kids, the more likely they are to fight as adults.
Being complacent and concluding that the childhood relationship will naturally grow from sour to sweet is being naïve.

20. Promote love - movies, posters, quotes that promote sibling love should be shown to all the children.
India is blessed with a festival like raksha bandhan, that promotes brother-sister love... use birthdays, anniversaries, special occasions to promote love.

for further details, feel free to contact me at,
Dr.Hemant Mittal
email -

How to Cope with Job Loss?

Losing a job might seem a naturally accepted psychological incident within the life of an individual, but it has many repercussions. 

Though the immediate reaction is one of vigor and positivity to find a better option, within 3weeks it leads to major psychological changes with myriad of emotions like frustration, anger and guilt running on the psychological forefront.

Social laws have been designed such that in today's life, a job is an essential part of an individuals social and personal identity... Hence losing a job, suddenly makes one lose part of their identity.

The loss of identity is a very nasty feeling that introduces fear, vulnerability, anger, irritation and depression within the personality of an individual.

If these "common reactions" to job loss are not treated in time, over a period they become part of daily 24hr thought process, leading to damage in relationships, sadness, addictions and even possible self-harm.
The psychological blue-print that your mind follows after job-loss? 

1. Dynamic Phase - Generally after leaving a job, most Indian employees have saving that can help them last for upto 6months... The first 3 months are essential, as this is the "dynamic phase". This is the time when the mind has maximum positivity and need for action.. Excitement off a new job lingers in the mind.

2. Phase of Doubt - Exposed to repeated failure to find a job, the mind starts to linger into doubt. The clouds of negativity slowly start forming, and the distant gloom suddenly seems closer. 
It's here on that one has to start developing extremely planned approach to self-healing and motivation. A dwell in motivation levels can kill the desire of achievement in life. 

3. Panic - The phase of doubt is normally followed by a phase of panic. Decreasing saving, income loss, lack of opportunities... make the mind restless... The brain starts working overtime.

4. Restlessness - Once panic sets in, its mater of time before the mind goes into a cycle of restlessness. Its here when memory, concentration, irritation, anger and need for addictions start to manifest.

5. The present becomes dangerous - When you start waking up in the morning, with a feeling of fear, how terrible or bad is going to be the day today.. Remember its time to seek help.

How to Cope with Job Loss?
Coping is an essential life skill that no one teaches You. Coping with a job loss has certain important phases-

1. Introspection - before you start applying for jobs with a vengeance its important to look into yourself. Spend a day or two to introspect what went wrong, what can be improved and what is your future road-map.

2. Apply - Many people within the "dynamic phase" only apply for "excellent jobs" ... the forget the "good jobs"... Take my advice Apply to all jobs!!! 
Marginalizing  your view-point towards the type of job can cost you dear.

3. Positive focus - It could be your wife, your friends, your brother, your father, your mother, god or a professional counselor. Always have a person in your life who is a "positive focus".. Who not only guides you, but also encourages you... Treasure such focus, as it could mean the difference between success and failure.

4. Be professional - If you find yourself battling the mind, its time to be professional about it. Panic, anger, irritation, lack of concentration, memory, sadness, not preforming well in interviews, getting extremely nervous, etc will leave an impression on your brain functioning. Time to consult a professional healer and prevent damage on your nervous system.

Feel Free to Contact me at-
Dr.Hemant Mittal (MBBS, PG.DPM,
 M.D.(Mind Mantra Wellness Concepts - Mumbai))
Neuro-Psychiatrist and Sexual Health Consultant,
 Motivational Speaker and Wellness Expert
Website –  
 Wellness Clinic Address– 15, Shreeji Plaza, next to seawoods station (east), Navi Mumbai – 400706

10 Personality Traits Leaders Have -

1. Leaders are comfortable with silence.

2. Leaders don't apologize for things they had nothing to do with... But are quick, subtle to apologize and forget their mistakes.

3. Leaders don't take blame for events and circumstances that are beyond their control.

4. Leaders are open minded to meeting everyone. They behave openly and don't behave badly.

5. Leaders are selfish for themselves and their team.

6. Leaders see challenges as opportunities to prove themself.

7. Leaders don't compromise on their sleep by worrying. If something bothers their mind and sleep, they seek good consultation for the same.

8. Leaders don't want to be the center of the party. They see to it that others are having a good time.. and people automatically get attracted to their genuineness.

9. Leaders don't compromise on their satisfaction because others want them to do so.

10. Leaders forgive and forget.. They don't live in guilt.

personal development is about bringing changes in yourself.. GO AHEAD and experience it

for further queries, contact me at -

Dr.Hemant Mittal
email -

wife catches husband watching porn?

Its Funny But True.. Upto 90% men watch porn even after marriage... This is a sign of problem that needs solution.
The most common reasons for the same are:
1. husband isn't sexually attracted to his wife.
2. husband has an addiction to porn.
3. husband has a higher libido compared to wife.
4. lack of experimentation in the couples sexual life
5. husband suffers from pre-mature ejaculation or erectile dysfunction.

~ for further discussion on this feel free to contact me at
Dr.Hemant Mittal
email -

Anger Management - Buddha Style

Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal, but in the end you are the one who gets burned.
-- Buddha.

Anger Management is a very vast topic... Some professional have day-long workshops, others have month long programs to help you control it.
I just have 3 simple suggestions:

1. Anger is an emotion. It needs to be vented out. The more positive you are in venting it out, the more control over it you can have.

2. Anger generates when your ego is hurt. It's important to know the boundaries of your ego. Once an issue starts approaching that ego boundary, its important to either move from that place or stop that event from going further.

3. Anger in 40% cases originates out of the presence of clinical depression or clinical stress/restlessness... If you really care about yourself, get a cure for it.

For personalized help, contact me at
Dr.Hemant Mittal
email -
website -


"Loneliness and the feeling of being unwanted is the most terrible poverty. -Mother Teresa"

Don't Be Poor of Emotions and Love.. Battle Your Loneliness...

5 effective steps for the same are:

1. Loneliness vs. Solitude - loneliness is when you are unhappy to be alone. Solitude is when you are happy to be alone.. Identify what you have.

2. Challenge yourself Socially - The biggest reason why people stop socializing is because their mind is full of fear... Fear of how they will be judged by others... For once leave that fear aside and challenge yourself... You might not succeed immediately, but only practice makes you perfect.

3. Don't get addicted to Loneliness - Loneliness is very addictive. At the mind mantra wellness clinic, i meet many of you who keep complaining about being alone, but find it impossible to live without it. When it becomes addictive, remember something wrong is happening with you... Get up and get the solution.

4. Keep your mind busy - the easiest way to keep loneliness at bay is by keeping your mind busy. If you are working, look for more productive work to do. Join an online community, where you opinion is respected (the mind mantra facebook group is example of that).
Make yourself heard.

5. Break the mold - one of the prime reasons for loneliness is rigidity of mind. Break the mold.. come out of your comfort zone. Every day do something new.
If you are having excessive anxiety or fear doing so,  consult a professional who can help you with the same.
Asking for help is a sign of greatness.. Even the greatest leaders in the world have consulted someone before taking decisions.

you can contact me at -
Dr.Hemant Mittal
email -
website -
wellness clinic - 15, shreeji plaza, opposite seawoods station(east), nerul, navi mumbai

The Scientific Truth - Depression Exists!!

Every Year thousands of you ask me the very simple question - "Its just Depression... Why does one have to consult a psychiatrist"
While I try and give them a true scientific picture of the same, I very well know that the great majority never leave the belief that talking it out with family/friends, drinking, smoking, changing astrologers or just living with it are the only ways to manage it..

I was recently reading a neurological medical journal when I found this great comparative study, done in USA, using the most advance technology and by the best neuro-scientists in the world...

These are PET Scans or Positron Emission Tomography scans of the brain.. These scans are much more powerful than MRI scans and have the capacity to show the energy levels and blood circulations at the cellular level.

The bright areas indicate the areas of high activity and greater blood circulation.

As you can very well see a depressed brain is working at less than 25% of a normal brain.

As you are aware the human body is one of the most adaptive units ever created in the universe.. A low functioning brain or depressed brain immediately triggers the adaptability processes.
This requires the body to direct a lot of its vitamins and resources towards the brain.

This eventually leads to:
1. concentration problems
2. memory problems
3. gastric problems like constipation
4. skin issues - loss of glow on the face, hair fall
5. sexual disorder - premature ejaculation
6. weight issues - increased appetite
7. increased addiction

more than 6months of such a phase... eventually triggers the body to start changing the shape of the brain.. and leading to long term changes..

The solution of this problem is not sedative or addictive medications...

but it requires a well planned approach that only a well trained counselor or psychiatrist can give

"Stop being regressive and taboo-filled... Psychiatry is not a science of the MAD people.. and good Psychiatrists are not doctors for the man... Psychiatry is a science to help you be medically fit... for the most essential organ of your body (the brain).. and the organ which expresses hurt not by bleeding but by emotional-physiological-behavioral changes"

Dr.Hemant Mittal
Wellness Clinic address - Mind Mantra wellness clinic, next to seawoods station (east), navi mumbai

5 truths of Life

5 truths of life –

1.The closest bond – “Ego”

I want this... 
This is mine
My side is better
I first have to think about myself...

The closest and strongest bond that most of us have to our subconscious... is the bond we have with our “ego”... the need of self-satisfaction.

2.Social Satisfaction – “you and me”
Self-satisfaction is never complete without social satisfaction. As we grow, we realise that we directly – indirectly depend on a lot of individuals for many emotional, financial and physical needs.. Parents, siblings, friends and even enemies are extremely important to our personal growth.
The more we fail to recognise that these important people also have their own identities and have their right to make choices in life... the more we become controlling and self-centred.

3.Belonging – Search for identity
Not everyone is born with the power of “mind-control” and “ego-control”... Since early in life to the moment of death, 99.9% individuals are very uncomfortable standing alone. They immediately seek an identity. Seek for similar people to identify with. This gives them a sense of “Security”... 
Family, Nationality, Language, Religion, Caste, Creed, are the specific traits once looks to develop immediate affinity.
Once the macro-identity is defined, mind-games for ego-satisfaction are started.

4.Sexual Attraction – 
Puberty is a genetic trigger that changes the entire brain-body way of functioning. It’s the release of sex hormones and various brain chemicals that sexual feelings start originating in the mind.
Higher your ego, the higher your need for satisfaction of these feelings... The more you suppress your need for sexual gratification, the more irritated, manipulative and negative you become.

5.Self Realization - 
When a person fails to find happiness in the material world, he/she looks towards god or a supreme being for answers.
Unfortunately the slightest hint of ego breaks the ladder to self-realization.
Ironically the path to self-realization was created to help ward off ego-battles but the reverse has happened.
“Prayers” are one of the most ego-satisfying exercises developed by human kind.
A true prayer is one where no trace of ego is present. Unfortunately most people just pray with a mind full of ego.
examples –
“I” pray to “my” god,
“I” pray for “my” well being
“My” way of praying is the best
Why didn’t God listen to “MY” prayers?
“I” prayed for so long, but my prayers where never answered!!!

Dr.Hemant Mittal 
Emotional, Behavioral and sexual health medical consultant - 
Motivational Speaker 
email -
website -

Ram - Hero or Villian?

Ram - romeo or villain you decide?
Today I met Ram(name changed), a 21yr old college student. He walked into my clinic with his father.Even before we could complete the initial exchange of pleasantries, his father in a very aggressive mood... shouted

"This child has gone mad!!! Just give him shock or something... I am fed up!!! Do something or I will kill him myself"

Just trying to calm his father down, "Sir, calling your child mad doesn't help curing him... secondly I am not a mad persons doctor.. I am a new age neuro-psychiatrist, whose specializes in providing wellness solutions for body-brain and mind issues.. so lets deal with it professionally"

After a few more grunts, the father understood and calmed down. While his son was completely lost in embarrassment and sadness.

I inquired further and his father described why he came to meet me..

"See doctor I have come to meet you because someone told me too... We have taken this boy to our family doctor, to our family astrologer, even taken him to pune to peer-baba... but nothing seems to help... Even I have scolded him and hit him but his mind is completely possessed... he is continuously thinking about a girl...  looks as if the girl has done some jaadu-tona on him"

Now love related problems are one of the most common causes of clinical depression... so i started to understand what was going inside brain - mind of Ram... the next piece of information was very interesting... his father continued...

" I will tell you what has happened... 3yrs ago we admitted him to college. Everything was great in 1st year of college. In 2nd year of college, he saw some 1st year junior and had "love at first sight"
He told everyone, that this girl is mine and no one will talk or propose to her.
He initially was very shy of talking to that girl, so he would send messages through some juniors.
One day he saw her talking with a guy from her class.. He got very angry, went and bashed up that guy... He told him if he ever approached her again, he would kill him... That guy got so scared that his parents lodged a police complaint.
Thats when we came to know about this... We thought it was just college "masti" so we let it go...
Then he started following that girl... Initially she didnt notice.. but one day she got really stressed.. She came to talk to him, and in entire public asked him what did he want?
When he said, he loved her and wanted to be her boyfriend...
She rejected and made fun of him..."
He became very sad, but didn't give up...He started sending flowers, cards and chocolates to her... He would never write his name on the same.
The girl initially liked it and she thought someone from her class is sending it... but when she came to know he is sending it, she went to the director and complained about him.
By the end of that year, his marks started to decrease and he spent whole day thinking about her...
as parents we tried to console him... His mother and me, out of parental love, even went to that girls house to talk to her family...Her father made fun of me and we were extremely embarrassed...
He would sit all day thinking about her.. One day he tried to commit suicide by drinking phenyl in front of us..
That day was the first day i Hit him... from that day things got from bad to worse.. He was thrown out of college... That girl got some boyfriend, when he came to know he became furious... he would call that boyfriend and insult him... That guy bought some 10-15 gundas and they gave him a very bad beating... He was in the hospital for nearly 2months... He was thrown out of college... Since then we have been trying everything to help him... but we just don't know what to do.. we are helpless"

I further had an extensive counseling session with Ram... what do you think .. is he a hero or villain ?  what would you suggest him?

you can contact me at -
Dr.Hemant Mittal
email -

Increase Your Brain Power - 5 easy Steps

A new progressive trend that I have observed among the young, dynamic and success oriented individuals of Mumbai, is that they don’t shy away from seeking the right professional help as and when required.

They have started revolting against the age old taboo of “psychiatrists” being just the “mad man’s doctors” and are increasingly seeking the “right” effective approach for professional and personal success.

Over the last 6 months I have seen a 500% increase in youngsters aged between 21-35yrs of age who are ready to revolt against age old systems and hungry for success.

One of the most common complaints I treat every day is the “decrease in memory power”. It’s unimaginable the distress a person goes through when he/she starts forgetting things, isn’t able to concentrate on personal and professional issues...Image sitting in an important meeting and just not remembering what happened there or driving the car and not remembering the journey back.

More and more people are understanding that this complaint has to do with their emotional management, rather than fancy medical terminologies that require expensive investigations.

It’s an irony that while people spend numerous hours building up the body not a single effective minute is spent to build up brain power.

Another age old myth is to take your brain for granted and believe that it will keep upgrading itself with time and age. Unfortunately our brains are not cell-phones who get software upgrades over the air.

It’s a medical fact that “not even 1/10th of brain power” is utilized by a normal individual. So imagine the possibilities of personal and professional success you could achieve by exercising your brain and utilizing more than that 1/10th.

5 simple methods for the same are:

1.    Ready to Change –
 The most common explanation that people offer is – “now that I am a grown up, how can my brain change”... again an age old myth that might not hold true even if you are living in the ice-age or in the middle-earth... 
Your brain is ready to change every single day, every single moment... Even as you read this your brain is changing... 

The brain is not a fixed entity, at microscopic level the nerves, blood circulation, chemicals and hormone production keep changing to adjust according to your daily needs.

“If you don’t milk a cow for maximum milk, you will not even get a glass full”

Your brain is ready to change... you have to be prepared to accept that change.

2.    The essentials – 
      Two commodities without which the brain is useless is good quality oxygen and glucose. It’s time to check your daily habits. –
a.     Do you do any cardio exercises – a brisk walk, a run, walking up and down the stairs are essential to increase blood circulation in the heart and eventually the brain. This gives your brain enough oxygen to help it work effectively.
b.    Diet – check what you eat... if your diet is loaded with fat, nicotine and alcohol you are calling for major blockages and decreased brain function.
four essential dietary habits you should follow for excellent brain functioning:
·         Diet should have good amount of Omega-3 fatty acids.
·         Saturated fat not only blocks blood supply it also decreases memory and concentration. If you have memory problems then its time to control the intake of red meat, whole milk, butter, cheese, sour cream and ice cream.
·         Fruits and vegetables are packed with antioxidants. Don’t miss the natural source.
·         Fresh Grape juice, cranberry juice, fresh grapes, berries and peanuts are excellent sources of flavonoids.. that boost your brain blood flow.

3.    Sleep it off – 
      Sleep is the most essential restorative process gifted to the human body by nature. In other words, all the toxic wastes produced in your brain are cleared only during sleep. Imagine if you never cleared your room or flat, it would start stinking... no one likes to live in a dirty and stinky place... Hence without proper sleep your brain becomes a dirty and stinky place which the subconscious doesn’t like to operate in.
If you have sleep difficulties, make sure thats the first thing you get cured.

4.    Where is the love? – 
      In the last 6 months have you ever laughed so much that your stomach started paining ... If NO!!! Then you are missing the most essential feature for effective brain functioning... Positivity ... love, fun, happiness and laughter are other names of positivity. They stimulate the nervous system to effective function.
Take time out for your friends, spend some quality time with your loved ones and do watch a comedy movie... because they boost your brain capacity.

5.    Brain dead or Brain alive you chose? – 
      Stress and Depression are the two most destructive emotional phenomena for the brain. It’s been medically proven that more than 3months exposure to stress or depression starts killing the brain cells.
Remember while you live within the false ego umbrella of not seeking professional help, your brain is dying. Every dead cell will not come back. Every dead cell causes lesser of positive chemicals and hormones being secreted in your mind.
If you compare yourself to others... then just think.. their brain is not same as your... and while they chose to kill their brains... are you also ready to follow suit.

You can Contact me at-
Dr.Hemant Mittal (MBBS, PG.DPM,
 M.D.(Mind Mantra Wellness Concepts - Mumbai))
Neuro-Psychiatrist and Sexual Health Consultant,
 Motivational Speaker and Wellness Expert
Website –
Wellness Clinic – 15, Shreeji Plaza, next to seawoods station (east), Navi Mumbai – 400706