Relationship Breakers

Everyday I meet individuals and couples at my clinic who are going through a very bad time in their relationship.
As a counselor its my duty to help them find peace among themselves.
Sometimes this becomes very difficult because they are not open to learn how to change.

7 Relationship breaking emotional games that individuals love to get into -


1. Actions vs Words
Everyone has problems in life.
Every couple has troubles in a relationship.

While logic says that doing action to solve a problem is the right thing.. in human psychology that might not be it!!!

Words or talking are sometimes a way of venting out negativity. One has to understand when their partner is venting out.
This difference in approach makes relationships sour.


2. Space
Many individuals want to be with their partner all the time - they start smothering the relationship. With no room for "I miss you".
If someone doesn't miss you, how can they feel for you.

There are other individuals who just want some quality time with their partners. When the partner fails to do so. Being involved with friends, family... they create too much of space in the relationship.

Learn to balance the need for space.


3. Friends/Family - the selfish
Friends/Family are always selfish.
I know a guy who has a disastrous personal life. In his need for not being alone and insecure, he just tries to spend all the time with his friends. He has landed most of his friends in trouble with their spouses. But when confronted he says, I am just doing my work, I cann't help if you people want to come and associate with me.

I know individuals who want to know every single detail of the married life of their brother or sister.

Friends/Family are your support system.. but learn to evaluate when they are a support and when they are destructive.
Many times you need to move away from them, to save your relationship.


4. "Out of My League Syndrome"
I am not that good - Someone that handsome/beautiful could never love me.
I am having so much flaws  how can he/she love me.

People just cannot believe that they have a good partner. They constantly question themselves or they question their partner.

Learn to accept the gift of love. It doesn't matter if your partner is better or worse than you.. together you complement each other and thats why you are in a relationship.


5. Assumption - a word more powerful than a sword.
If you use logic, you will assume.
As much as you are asked not to assume, assumption is bound to happen.
Its a side-effect of logic.
Assumption has to be tackled by face to face discussion or adjustment.
If one starts to run away from fighting assumption, than it will just increase the assumption.
If you want to save a relationship - FIGHT IT!


6. Too Nice - Luck or bad luck
Some partners are just "too nice".
They seem to be perfect.
They can give love to unimaginable heights and they can care to unimaginable heights.

Nice people always suffer the most.
And when they suffer, they become very negative.
Their heart turns black and they only think of destruction.

If you have a too nice person in your life... be careful as they are like glass.
One fall and it will be impossible to glue them back together.


7. Can Best Friends be lovers?
Every men and women want to be their partners "best friend".
Friendship is different from relationship.
When you are a friend you adjust to so many things and never take notice of it.. When you are in a relationship, every adjustment is question.
Learn to erase this.
You will always be best friends with your partner... Because no matter what happens, both of you will create life together.
Don't try very hard to become friends... just let it flow and enjoy being partners.

Dr.Hemant Mittal (Neuro-Psychiatrist and Counselor)
email - eksoch@gmail.com
website - www.mindmantra.in
address- 15, shreeji plaza, next to ice n spice restaurant, opposite seawoods station, seawoods (east)
Navi Mumbai

Do Ghosts Exist? Has someone cast a spell on you?

One of the most common symptoms that I get to see at the clinic is individuals who feel being haunted by a ghost… or feel as if someone is observing them or someone has cast a magic spell on them.

When life is not going as per your want. When every effort  leads to sadness and negativity, the first thing 95% people do is take help of god.
Goddman or astrologers may find some "fault" in the energy patterns around you, and thats when the following explanations for all the pain arise-

1. someone has done some black magic – In majority cases the suspicion is upon a family member, friend, colleague or known person.
these commonly include:
a. their thoughts and actions are being controlled
b. bodily harm is being done as body is controlled by someone outside force.
c. the occurrence of diseases which were earlier not present shows that negativity is being send.

2. There are others who feel that a ghost is troubling them.
a. they can feel someone following them.
b. someone who can read their mind.
c. someone inside their mind, who continuously talks to them
d. are able to see people, animals who only they can interact with.
e. their thoughts are being controlled
f. unusual experiences of touch, smell that others cannot feel.

A majority of people take help of tantriks, magicians, astrologers to solve this problem.. but still dont find complete cure.

WHY DOES THE COMPLETE CURE NOT HAPPEN, EVEN AFTER VISITING A ASTROLOGER, TANTRIK OR FAITH HEALER?

First thing we have to understand is that we are all bodies of energy.
Energy can be either positive or negative.
Positive and negative energy both exist in harmony within an individual. The mind is responsible for maintaining this harmony.
When the mind starts to lose control on this harmony we experience either extreme positivity or extreme negativity.
This extreme emotional self has destructive effect on the body.

Being exposed to any form of negative energy - black magic, bad astrological chart, ghosts, etc... Makes the mind become very restless and negative.

Unfortunately once the mind has become restless and negative it takes a lot of effort to bring it back to harmonious level.

Restlessness makes one emotionally weak and your brain starts to play tricks with you.

There is no instant, astrological or magical cure for Mental Restlessness… Mental Restlessness is an emotional, biological and psychological issue.
It affects your way of thinking,
it changes the blood circulation in the brain leading to chemical and hormonal changes.
its a medical condition, that requires treatment.

A psychiatrist is not a doctor who just treats mad people.. I personally specialize in only treating decreased functioning of the brain due to sadness, stress, restlessness, anger...

Consult a good psychiatrist along with your faith-healing treatments. let both "dava and dua" help you.
Because "DUA" might take the disturbing elements away from your soul.. But "Dawa" will stop your restless mind and those negative memories from re-surfacing.

Dr.Hemant Mittal (Neuro-Psychiatrist and Counselor)
email - eksoch@gmail.com
website - www.mindmantra.in
address- 15, shreeji plaza, next to ice n spice restaurant, opposite seawoods station, seawoods (east)
Navi Mumbai

Breaking the Comfort zone

I met Rita(name changed) yesterday. She walked into the clinic with black dark circles under the eyes, red-eyes, sunken face, drooped body and getting angry even on the slightest sound.
She came along with her parents, who where clueless on what to do... It was less than a year of her marriage and this was the opposite of how she should actually be.
After 45min when I told her parents she has not been able to "break her comfort zone", they agreed.
We all have a very nice need for comfort and control. Our house is the one place where we have maximum control. As we grow, we become more and more dependent on this control.
Just not the physical, also emotionally we have control on what to give and what to expect.
Marriage is one event that breaks this comfort zone over-night.
Upto 30-40% ladies in India experience this emotional discomfort, whereby getting control over the new environment takes years.

Why this happens?
1. When an Indian Lady marries, she marries into a family.
In great majority of cases she is expected to immediately un-learn all her customs and adopt to new ones. This is called adjustment.
While this is expected to happen over-night, she might actually take years to do so, as its impossible to de-learn things practiced for 20-plus years.
2. While she is trying to do this, the already accustomed and emotionally seniors in this new environment. Namely her mother-in-law, sister-in-law, father-in-law have certain expectations from her.
3. This conflict of expectations leads to a feeling of sadness and anger.
Her only support is her husband... Unfortunately in many cases, the husband decides to keep quiet.
The lady starts to feel cheated by her husband and starts to develop hatred against mother-in-law, sister-in-law.
4. Slowly negativity plays in her mind continuously. This leads to guilt, feeling of worthlessness, anger and helplessness.
5. Soon medical levels of depression play with her mind, leading to even suicidal attempt.

What are the consequences of this?
1. Increased stress level - that leads to weight gain, decreased glow on the skin, menstural problems, headaches, sleep problems.
2. Mood swings - with intense episodes of crying and similar intense episodes of anger
3. Extreme anger
4. Sadness and negativity present in the mind.
5. every situation is approached with negativity.
6. decreased sexual desires and decreased sexual performance.
7. negative image of the husband, thinking he has never been by her side. And he doesnt deserve her love.
8. looking for running away from this situation - which leads to nuclear family formation or divorce.

How to help someone battling this?
1. They need a listening ear. Don't advocate or counsel them, first just listen to them.
2. Talk to the husband, try and help him to be more assertive in his duty towards his wife.
3. Mood swings, sadness and stress needs treatment - consult a good psychiatrist immediately.
4. if a lady is looking for divorce - try and help her first calm down. If its impossible to calm her down, accompany her to a psychiatrist, help her calm down and then take the decision.
Many ladies in haste make wrong decisions, which they later regret.

For further query email me -
Dr.Hemant Mittal (Neuro-Psychiatrist)
email - eksoch@gmail.com
website - www.mindmantra.in