Relationship Breakers

Everyday I meet individuals and couples at my clinic who are going through a very bad time in their relationship.
As a counselor its my duty to help them find peace among themselves.
Sometimes this becomes very difficult because they are not open to learn how to change.

7 Relationship breaking emotional games that individuals love to get into -

1. Actions vs Words
Everyone has problems in life.
Every couple has troubles in a relationship.

While logic says that doing action to solve a problem is the right thing.. in human psychology that might not be it!!!

Words or talking are sometimes a way of venting out negativity. One has to understand when their partner is venting out.
This difference in approach makes relationships sour.

2. Space
Many individuals want to be with their partner all the time - they start smothering the relationship. With no room for "I miss you".
If someone doesn't miss you, how can they feel for you.

There are other individuals who just want some quality time with their partners. When the partner fails to do so. Being involved with friends, family... they create too much of space in the relationship.

Learn to balance the need for space.

3. Friends/Family - the selfish
Friends/Family are always selfish.
I know a guy who has a disastrous personal life. In his need for not being alone and insecure, he just tries to spend all the time with his friends. He has landed most of his friends in trouble with their spouses. But when confronted he says, I am just doing my work, I cann't help if you people want to come and associate with me.

I know individuals who want to know every single detail of the married life of their brother or sister.

Friends/Family are your support system.. but learn to evaluate when they are a support and when they are destructive.
Many times you need to move away from them, to save your relationship.

4. "Out of My League Syndrome"
I am not that good - Someone that handsome/beautiful could never love me.
I am having so much flaws  how can he/she love me.

People just cannot believe that they have a good partner. They constantly question themselves or they question their partner.

Learn to accept the gift of love. It doesn't matter if your partner is better or worse than you.. together you complement each other and thats why you are in a relationship.

5. Assumption - a word more powerful than a sword.
If you use logic, you will assume.
As much as you are asked not to assume, assumption is bound to happen.
Its a side-effect of logic.
Assumption has to be tackled by face to face discussion or adjustment.
If one starts to run away from fighting assumption, than it will just increase the assumption.
If you want to save a relationship - FIGHT IT!

6. Too Nice - Luck or bad luck
Some partners are just "too nice".
They seem to be perfect.
They can give love to unimaginable heights and they can care to unimaginable heights.

Nice people always suffer the most.
And when they suffer, they become very negative.
Their heart turns black and they only think of destruction.

If you have a too nice person in your life... be careful as they are like glass.
One fall and it will be impossible to glue them back together.

7. Can Best Friends be lovers?
Every men and women want to be their partners "best friend".
Friendship is different from relationship.
When you are a friend you adjust to so many things and never take notice of it.. When you are in a relationship, every adjustment is question.
Learn to erase this.
You will always be best friends with your partner... Because no matter what happens, both of you will create life together.
Don't try very hard to become friends... just let it flow and enjoy being partners.

Dr.Hemant Mittal (Neuro-Psychiatrist and Counselor)
email -
website -
address- 15, shreeji plaza, next to ice n spice restaurant, opposite seawoods station, seawoods (east)
Navi Mumbai

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