In my Psychiatric practice, I meet many couples on the verge of separation and decide to consult me as the last resort. Here 7 interesting facts on how they "grew" out of love -
1. Breaking Value systems - Love is never meant to force you too do thinks you don't like. But many people use "love" or "relationships" as an excuse to push their partners to indulge in activities against their value system - like eating non-veg., drink alcohol, smoking, having sex before marriage or altered ways of having sex.
2. Physical Abuse - Many individuals find it absolutely right to physically abuse their partner. They repent or remove the guilt by saying a simple sorry, but deep inside they feel its the right "corrective" measure to take.
3. Ego above Righteousness - Many family issues that arise because of the egoistic approach of one or both partners. The "egoist" need to never share but keep all property, gold,money or control with themselves.
This makes one behave in very manipulative way, making materialistic things the centre of their greed.
4. 3rd Person Use - I have counselled Many people don't have the "guts" to openly talk with their partners. Trying to keep a "harmonious" environment, they use a 3rd person to express their real feelings.
It could be the mother-in-law who is asked to control a daughter-in-law, using a male friend to communicate with "husband/boyfriend"...etc.
This is toxic specially when the 3rd person involved is psychologically and socially on a different level then both partners.
5. Need based relationship - A complete relationship needs equal sharing by partners at social, financial, personal and physical levels.
A relationship that is prominently need based.( sex, taking care of home, providing money, having children, etc..) lacks positive exchange of emotions.
6. Poor communication - when partners don't communicate with each other, or withheld important information from each other - they cannot create a harmonious self.
7. Over-worked relationships - when the relationship has been over for years, but partners stick to each other for the fear of society or "children" sake. The anger and feeling of being "imprisoned" comes out in various forms.
written by -
Dr.Hemant Mittal (MBBS,DPM)
Psychiatrist, Motivational Speaker and Counsellor
eksoch@gmail.com
1. Breaking Value systems - Love is never meant to force you too do thinks you don't like. But many people use "love" or "relationships" as an excuse to push their partners to indulge in activities against their value system - like eating non-veg., drink alcohol, smoking, having sex before marriage or altered ways of having sex.
2. Physical Abuse - Many individuals find it absolutely right to physically abuse their partner. They repent or remove the guilt by saying a simple sorry, but deep inside they feel its the right "corrective" measure to take.
3. Ego above Righteousness - Many family issues that arise because of the egoistic approach of one or both partners. The "egoist" need to never share but keep all property, gold,money or control with themselves.
This makes one behave in very manipulative way, making materialistic things the centre of their greed.
4. 3rd Person Use - I have counselled Many people don't have the "guts" to openly talk with their partners. Trying to keep a "harmonious" environment, they use a 3rd person to express their real feelings.
It could be the mother-in-law who is asked to control a daughter-in-law, using a male friend to communicate with "husband/boyfriend"...etc.
This is toxic specially when the 3rd person involved is psychologically and socially on a different level then both partners.
5. Need based relationship - A complete relationship needs equal sharing by partners at social, financial, personal and physical levels.
A relationship that is prominently need based.( sex, taking care of home, providing money, having children, etc..) lacks positive exchange of emotions.
6. Poor communication - when partners don't communicate with each other, or withheld important information from each other - they cannot create a harmonious self.
7. Over-worked relationships - when the relationship has been over for years, but partners stick to each other for the fear of society or "children" sake. The anger and feeling of being "imprisoned" comes out in various forms.
written by -
Dr.Hemant Mittal (MBBS,DPM)
Psychiatrist, Motivational Speaker and Counsellor
eksoch@gmail.com
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