why People Keep Complaining?

Why people complain so much?

Complaining is a way of life for some people. Daily I meet many clients at my clinic, whose relative don’t remember a day gone by without them complaining.
No matter how good things are, the would manage to find something wrong. And they would never give gratitude for anything.

Over the years as a psychiatrist, I have found that many of such people are addicted to complaining. And the answer to this addiction comes from their subconscious mind.

Why do people complain? What is it they want or hope for when they complain?

People who complain are generally people who have not developed a emotional and spiritual loving, compassionate inner adult self.
They are psychologically still a wounded child in need of love, attention and compassion.
Because they have not learned to give themselves the attention and compassion they need, they seek to get these needs met by others.
Complaining is a way they have learned to attempt to get this. They use complaining as a form of control, hoping to guilt others into giving them the attention, caring and compassion they seek.

Complaining is a force. And people dislike being forced. So a day comes in the life of every "Chronic complainers" when those he/she takes for granted "cann't take it anymore" and they emotionally start withdrawing. An emotional shut-down doesnt mean that love is lost. It means love needs to be rebooted or restarted.

From here onwards, there are two possibilities -
a. either the chronic complainer has to realize his mistake and make a change.
b. the people subjected to the force of complaining have to gather all emotional strength from the love they have, and create a well being for themselves.

A person addicted to complaining will not be able to stop complaining until he or she does the inner work of developing an adult capable of giving themselves the love, caring, understanding and compassion they need.
As long as they believe that it is another’s responsibility to be the adult for them and fill them with love, they will not take on this responsibility for themselves.

Our inner child – the feeling part of us – needs attention, approval, caring.
If we don’t learn to give this to ourselves, then this wounded child part of ourselves will either seek to get it from others, or learn to numb out with substance and process addictions – food, alcohol, drugs, TV, work, gambling, and so on.

Complaining like all addictions, it may work for the moment, but it will never fill the deep inner need for love.
Only we can fill this need for ourselves, by opening our hearts to the Source of love.
People stop complaining when they learn to fill themselves with love.

On a medical plane, Chronic Complainers suffer from 3 prominent clinical disorders:
a. Major Depressive Disorder
b. Generalized Anxiety Disorder
c. Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.

If you know someone who is a chronic complainer, help them realize the worth of loving the self.. If you cann't help them realize that, help them visit a professional who can help them.

Dr.Hemant Mittal
(emotional, behavioral and sexal health consultant)
email -- eksoch@gmail.com

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