The Drive and The lesson of Life

Me and a friend of mine were recently driving down the "traffic" filled lanes of Mumbai... Another gentleman who was known to my friend was giving us company... Few minutes into the drive, this gentleman said -

"Look at that BMW 5 series.. I am sure the guy who owns it, must be so happy!!!
God knows when will I reach that stage".

There was no response from me or my friend.. so he kept quiet for 5min... 5 min. later he said -

"I went to Hyaat for dinner on Saturday... I normally go there on weekends... The food is damn expensive.. and not so great.. but come on!! you get to be among fashionable people like stars and businessmen all wearing Gucci, Armani, Valentino, Jimmy Choo, carrying iphone 5's and Samsung S4's... Its a visual Treat.. Its worth it"

again I smiled at my friend.. who was driving.. and we chose to give no response..
so he kept quiet for another 5 min... 5 minutes later, he took his cell-phone out and while flashing it... he said -

" Last week I bought this iphone 5... It ain't even half the phone Samsung S4 is.. Come on for 45 thousand, I am just paying for the Apple logo.. samsung is much better..
I think I should have waited.. maybe next week will sell this off and buy myself the S4"

This time again I winked to my friend.. and told him to be quiet...
This gentleman was now getting irritated.. He desperately wanted a conversation were we would "gossip" and "spread negativity" against people who he found higher or lower in his social strata.

5 minutes later, his irritation started to show off.. He told my friend -
"Your car seems to need repairs... The A/C ain't so powerful.. Why don't you buy a new one.. you have had this one for last 5years.. I change my cars every 2 years...
specially with indian servicing centers being so un-reliable".

I looked at my friend and asked him to respond very quietly... i knew this gentleman was now very restless.. and we he was going to come for me next.

less than 2 minutes later, he asks me, very sarcastically -
"So doc.. you are a psychiatrist... how is it to treat mad people...?"

I smiled and said -
"I don't treat mad people..."

Visibly restless by my non-indulgence into his "negativity".. he continued -
"Huh!! aren't you a mad-mans doctor.. if you don't treat mad people.. than what!!!"

I smiled and said -
"I treat normal people who have an illness they can feel but not show"

He interrupted -
"so you treat depression.. and bipolar... and OCD.. and schizophrenia.. aren't these madness?"

I said -

He said -
"Explain to me how? Don't you give them medications like Prozac.. Alprax... Zoloft.. aren't these pills made for people who have lost their mind"

I said -
"right now you are restless.. so if i suggest something like alprax.. would that make you mad?"

He jumped angrily -
"what do you mean!!! what do you mean.. this is insulting.. I am not restless.. I am not mad.. I am perfect.. '

I responded -
"true.. so are all my clients/patients.. just like you...they just need peace of mind.. and I try to help them achieve it...
Just because you have read or listen to some gossip about the medications I prescribe.. you are sending out judgements.. How I prescribe and how they help people that come to me.. is something between me and them... none of your business".

In his anger, he continued-
"I have heard psychiatrists can read you can read minds!!! tell me whats going in my mind right now!!"

I said -
"you want to prove you are superior to everyone... and we both accept you are superior.. can we enjoy the music and drive now"

he started giving explanation -
"I don't want to be superior to anyone.. I am normal.. I want to live life happy and peacefully"

He kept quiet for another 15minutes... trying to attack me, cause his ego wasn't satisfied -
"So tell me doc.. what is your definition of a perfect woman!! what do you go for looks or brains?"

I knew, he was now going to go to any point to prove that he and his belief system of "cribbing and criticizing" are the best.. I responded -

"neither and both..."

he asked - "Huh?? can you explain.. how come neither and both.. most people choose either one or both.. how come neither?"

I said - "you will never understand..?"

He goes sarcastically - "oh ok.. maybe I aint as intelligent as you.. so can you explain it to me...i promise I will listen and try to understand"

I laughed out loud... such a childish manifestation of ego.. I actually felt pity how he was degrading himself from a "wanabe" to "fighting 5yr old child".

he was now completely dominated by anger -
"why are you laughing...??? Tell me what type of woman you like.. or may be you don't like women you are gay?"

He started becoming too irritable.. I laughed and said - "as you wish... your judgement on who I am is your own.. irrespective of whatever I say"

he said - "then come on change my so-called judgement of you.. make me see your side".

I asked - "why?"

He said - "why not... don't you feel uncomfortable that I am judging you wrong.. I may be calling you names... and I can go in the society and malign your name"

I laughed - Hahahahahaha.. No I ain't bothered by what you think or do... its your karma.. enjoy it .. I am least concerned!!!

Now actually pleading he says - At least tell me what you meant by neither and both.. how can you not be focused on neither the looks or mind of a woman!!!

I said - because I feel everyone is great.. and every moment is great... I learn from everyone.. and by focusing or judging I stop my learning... hence i am selfish about that..

he argued - so what have you learnt from me?

I said - How restlessness destroys peace of mind.

Astonished.. he was like - What!!!!!

since me and my friend wanted to enjoy the drive... I decided to put an end to the disscusion

I said - In last 40min of drive you have expressed this beautiful desire to be among the "social elite".
From dinners to buying cell phones you do everything to behave like them.
And your entire focus is to reach where they are...
sadly you have made happiness a destination... hence you will never be satisfied till you get your BMW 5 series.. you can dine in Hyaat without worrying about the money.. you can just walk into a shop and buy the most expensive phone..
but till that time comes you will be spending each day wondering about it... and the day every girl that you eye, should come and throw herself in your arms..
and till you don't achieve that.. you will try and play "mind-games" to achieve that state... but will find more frustrations when people like US who don't care about this won't bulge to yourself.

If you enjoyed your journey to happiness.. every moment would be beautiful...

so you just refreshed an old lesson my guru's used to teach me - peace only comes when you stop caring on how others judge you... so I thank you for that!!

The next 15min, before we reached our destination, he just kept quiet!!!
I was sure his resentment and anger against me were few fold increased... sadly he couldn't walk away from the place...

Moral -
A child as he grows desires a cycle...
a few years after having a cycle, he desires a motorcycle..
a few years after having a motorcycle he desires a car...
...See more

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