Emotional Cheating is more dangerous than Physical Cheating?

Sushant and Shagun (names changed) were dating. Just a step away from Marriage. A new colleague, Neeraj at Shagun's work place suddenly became her point of focus. When with Sushant she would be hooked onto her Smartphone or Facebook talking to Neeraj.
She started coming home extremely late, found unwanted faults in Sushant, and suddenly would break into anger blaming him for misguiding her life.

Sushant and Shagun broke up. Neeraj stood by Shagun showing he was a protective "friend"... His utter motive being achieved... Shagun lived in the delusion that Neeraj was the "perfect best friend" she could ever have.
Little did she know he would slowly make her so dependent on him... That she shared every small detail of her life with him.
In her state of excitement she never understood the great stupidity she did.  When she tried to reverse it, it was too late. Sushant could never forgive Shagun for "emotionally cheating" on him."


"Varsha and Nipun (names changed) were always the perfect couple. It was a shock when people came to know they were separating. While this decision had devastated Nipun,Varsha was happier than ever before. No one seemed to have a logical explanation.
When I met Nipun he was in a state of shock... A few weeks after he stabilized, he found that Varsha was "on-line" linked to an "affluent businessman" from other city.
A detective was hired, and "Varsha's online lover" turned out to be an unemployed 25yr man... Varsha was devastated.
Nipun could never forgive her for "emotionally cheating" upon him. They finally separated, amidst Varsha crying for forgiveness.

"Ankit always felt his wife Neelam (names changed) never gave him the love he desired. The need for true companionship always kept haunting his mind. He met Maria, through a social networking site. Within weeks his behaviour changed. His emotions always resided with Maria. Even while having sex, he would imagine Neelam as Maria.

He finally Divorced Neelam and married Maria. His marriage with Maria also didn't last much and had to divorce her too. Neelam is still seeking therapy. Ankit is in deep depression and guilt, but is living in denial. Trying to escape from the situation by drinking and moving away to other city"



LETS FACE IT -Cyber-cheating or online affair is a reality!!

Even with no physical contact involved but the emotional and psychological attachment is many times greater than any physical act.

It starts as harmless flirting, which becomes a good friendship and finally takes over the entire thought process of an individual.

99% of those involved, deny it. Their obsession for their "online friend" over-clouds their entire mind..they only see him/her as right and slowly start destroying their relationships.

Psychological Research over 5 continents has proven that indulgence in such an activity happens as its easy, secretive and an excitement filled adventure.

Most cases are hidden within the subconscious of the guilty partner. This guilt tends to manifest itself as  sadness, anxiety and feeling of disgust upon self, specially when the guilty partner becomes a parent or finds out his/her children to be involved.

If you have an special "online" or "offline" friend, who has become the center of your thought process. Take the following quiz. -
(online friend - means friend who you spend most time on Facebook, SMS, BB messenger, Whatsapp or any other texting medium.
Physically meeting is minimum at the start of the relationship, and slowly grows)

1. Spending more than 2-3hours a day chatting or exchanging sms/messages with the same person i.e."online friend."

2. Thought Process is for most of the day preoccupied with thoughts of the "online friend"... He/she is 1st or last person who dominates your mind while you go to sleep or wake up.

3. Extreme concern to keep it as a secret. Going to length to try and concealing it from your friends, family and spouse.

Changing all your account passwords, creating new social networks/email accounts, concealing emails, changing his/her name on the blackberry messenger, etc.

4. High fear, irritation or anger if your partner suddenly questions you about your online/cell phone activity...
High irritation or anger if your partner questions about your "online friend".

5. Restlessness if not heard from him/her after a few hours. Cannot spend a day without knowing what he/she is doing.
This restlessness calms only after contacting him/her.

6. More and more time is taken out of work, important schedules or even by waking up at night to contact your "online friend".

7. Higher comfort level in sharing your thoughts related to family, marriage, emotional and physical self with your online friend than your partner.

8. Constant mental comparison between personality of your "online friend" and your partner.

9. While in any form of physical intimacy with your partner, your mind flashes the desire of being with your "online friend" instead.

10. Sharing sensitive information like provocative photos, bank or other financial details, personal body details or professional secret details with your "online friend".

11. Constantly planning to arrange business meetings, conferences or visits to spend time alone with your "online friend".

12. Constant denying to any emotional attachment to your "online friend", while you still spend a lot of time in the day thinking about him/her.

If you have scored 6 or more, time to be careful.
You are emotionally attached to your "online friend".. and it can lead to disastrous effects on your relationship.

The biggest side effect of an online-extra marital are the Withdrawal effects. - The moment you think or try to break a cyber-relationship, your mind is flooded with one or more of the following emotions - restlessness, guilt, anger, decreased self-esteem, hopelessness, worthlessness, sadness and pain.

The inability to battle these emotions drives you back to it. Making it an emotional trap which you cannot leave.

Many manipulators use this withdrawal effects as a way to emotionally trap an individual. They constantly sms or text a person. making sure they are the 1st or last person on the victims mind at the time they go to sleep and when they wake up.

Creating a larger than life sub-conscious image.


be careful of this Emotional and Psychological Addiction.

It's easier to forgive your partner for having sex with someone, rather than feeling worthless and helpless of being emotionally cheated.

you are most welcome to CONTACT ME (all conversations are kept CONFIDENTIAL) -

Dr.Hemant Mittal
(Neuro-Psychiatrist, Mental Health and Sexual Health Healer,
Motivational Writer/Speaker and Counselor)

by-
email - eksoch@gmail.com
website - http://mindmantra.in/services.html

or visit my wellness clinic @-
address- 15, shreeji plaza, next to ice n spice restaurant, opposite seawoods station, seawoods (east)
Navi Mumbai

Do you feel SUICIDAL?

A great majority of people experience suicidal thoughts/feelings at least once in their life.

Why does one feel suicidal?
Emotional Pain is true. Its not imagination... Many kinds of emotional pain lead the brain to create thoughts of suicide.

The reasons for this pain are unique to each one of us, and our ability to cope with the pain differs from person to person.

Don't ever tell someone - "That's not enough to be suicidal about."
We are all different. - "What might be bearable to one person may not be bearable to you"

Causes of Suicidal Feelings -

1. Most common cause of feeling suicidal is due to the presence of medical problems that can be treated depression, anxiety disorders, stress, medical conditions that cause constant pain, cancer, drug and alcohol dependency.

2. Second most common cause is the presence of environmental factors that need exterior solution, like financial, legal or school problems, grief or loss of a loved one, and other life difficulties can all create profound emotional distress.


A suicidal thought is always an EMERGENCY.. never take it lightly.

What to Do?

1. REACH OUT FOR HELP - TALK to family, friends.. If they don't help, then pay someone to listen to you, understand your pain and not judge you.
Counselors, psychologist and psychiatrists are there for that.

If you are shy to visit someone, call the various suicide helplines and talk it out.

YOUR LIFE IS VERY VALUABLE....YOU MIGHT NOT THINK ABOUT IT THAT VERY MOMENT.. BUT I CAN ASSURE YOU, IF YOU ARE READY TO GIVE YOURSELF A CHANCE.. YOU CAN CLIMB THE MOUNTAIN OF HAPPINESS.


What if you don't feel understood?
If you do not feel the person you have chosen to talk to has understood, tell someone else, or call a suicide crisis helpline.

There are plenty of people out there who will understand. Don’t let one bad experience stop you from finding someone who can help.


2. Ways to cope with suicidal thoughts and feelings

a. Talk with someone every day/ weeK, preferably face to face. -
You might want to be lonely, but loneliness will just make it worse.. go out with your friends, even if you don't want to.. just keep yourself busy.

b. Make a safety plan. Always carry the contact numbers for your friends and family members who will help in an emergency.

c. Take the first step - when you were a child, it was completely your effort when you stood up and took that first step.
Its the same today... Take that one step...

d. Channelize your emotional Pain - pain can be a great motivator. You have to know how to use it.
Some of the greatest motivators in the world have survived the worst situations.
Your pain can turn you into a great motivator.. Go out and help people.
Channelize your pain.

e. Exercise at least 30minutes a day.

f. Don't feel guilty about the past... Forgive yourself and those who have caused pain.
You cannot go back in time.. But you can make a change from now towards the future.

One of my lady as a patient. She was unhappy with her marriage and attempted suicide multiple times. Nobody understood why.
During the counseling session, she told me, she always loved another guy. Till date that guy had not married, and she felt very guilty. Her husband was a good guy, but not her soul-mate. She hurt herself, because she felt it was a way of asking for forgiveness.
She decided to forgive herself, her past and make changes. She contacted the ex. And spoke to him.
He was angry and harbored a lot of negativity... She told him about her suicide attempts... She was surprised to learn he was also had done the same.
They both spoke for a few weeks, and finally decided to "close" their relationship and move ahead in life.
Since then till date, she is a changed person.
she just needed to forgive herself and her past.

g. Consult a psychiatrist if nothing is helping you.


Things You should avoid when having suicidal thoughts:
a. Being alone. Solitude can make suicidal thoughts even worse.
Visit a friend, or family member. If you have no one log onto the internet and just do something or chat with someone.

b. Alcohol and drugs. Drugs and alcohol increase depression, hamper your problem-solving ability, and can make you act impulsively.
Its a popular myth that alcohol helps to cure depression, instead it causes more harm to your psyche than you can think.

c. Avoid things that will make you feel worse. - Listening to sad music, looking at certain photographs, reading old letters, or visiting places you spent with a loved one can all increase negative feelings.


you are most welcome to CONTACT ME (all conversations are kept CONFIDENTIAL) -

Dr.Hemant Mittal
(Neuro-Psychiatrist, Mental Health and Sexual Health Healer,
Motivational Writer/Speaker and Counselor)

by-
email - eksoch@gmail.com
website - http://mindmantra.in/services.html

or visit my wellness clinic @-
address- 15, shreeji plaza, next to ice n spice restaurant, opposite seawoods station, seawoods (east)
Navi Mumbai

Battling the effects of Black Magic?

Whenever something goes wrong in Life, most people turn to find reasons for why it has happened.
A great majority find this to be because of the effects of "evil-eye" or "black magic" that someone has done on you.

Every year I meet hundreds of such people who have met thousands of astrologers, thousands of sages, thousands of "white magic" practitioners but still the effect of Black magic remains?

The reason is that people forget the basics... If you believe that black magic exists.. than you surely believe that god exists... If you believe that god exists... Than you surely believe that god is present in every living person... That ways god is present inside of you... then I would like to remind you, that you have the most powerful positive energy in the universe, sitting idle in your heart.
You are just wasting it !!!


No matter how many "solutions" you seek for the "black magic".. you will never "Cure" it... till you don't awaken that "God" in your heart.

People come and tell me things like,
I give money to poor, but still god doesn't help me.
I have helped so many people in their life, but still I suffer
I have never abused or thought bad of anyone, still I get this problem.

I question them, what have you done for yourself?
Instantly, they say "I'm not selfish"..

to which I laugh...

If you believe that god exists in every person.. and you decide to help those who are in need.. then why don't you see that there is god inside of you.

Your own god also needs love and appreciation.

So probably its time you awaken the God inside of you.

How to awaken the God inside of you?
1. love yourself.. not for your looks or how much money, power, fame you have... love yourself because you have a part of god inside of you.

2. thank god for finding yourself worthy to carry a part of him, inside your heart.

3. Care for god - the god in your heart needs to be cared... Care about yourself, with a lot of love... and automatically you end up loving him and caring for him.

4. Nourish God - We need food to be energetic, so nourish the god inside you... His food is positivity... Spend 10-15 minutes a day, reading or watching something positive... let that positivity go directly be for the god in your heart.

5. slowly slowly as you feel more connected with god.. feel his power take away any black magic cast upon you.

You are the greatest source of energy in the universe... Just recognize it

Dr.Hemant Mittal (Neuro-Psychiatrist and counselor)
www.mindmantra.in
email - eksoch@gmail.com