How to deal with difficult people?
Difficult people roam around the world like ghost souls in search of a prey. If you don’t deal with them properly, you might end up hurting your ego and psychological self. This can create huge stress and depression.
In the last few years, I have dealt with a lot of difficult people. Everything they have thought me something. Today when I sit and analyze all of them, I can pin-point few cardinal psychological points for dealing with them:
WHAT YOU DON’T HAVE to do:
• Don't take difficult people's behavior personally. Their troublesome behavior is habitual and affects most people with whom they come in contact.
• Don't fight back or try to beat them at their own games. They have been practicing their skills for a lifetime, and you're an amateur.
• Don't try to appease them. Difficult people have an insatiable appetite for more. They will eventually grow so big, that it would become easy for them to destroy you.
• Don't try to change them. You can only change your responses to their behavior.
• Don’t try to win the “I’m right or you are wrong” game. Their mind is loaded with thousands of heart pinching and mood de-stabilizing taunts/excuses/explanation than yours.
WHAT YOU HAVE to do:
• Stand up to them, but don’t fight. The more you run the more they will chase you. Be assertive in expressing your views. Remember don’t try to prove you are right. But express your views
• Learn to wait for your chance to strike.- the boxer who waits for his opponent to tire out is usually the one that succeeds, even if means to take a few initial blows. Similarly, with difficult people, never immediately go onto the offensive, let them ventilate a little and as soon as they are losing some breath, attack with tenacity, poise and purpose.
• Mask your emotions- Difficult people are known to use sarcasm, humor, and take pot shots on looks, attitudes, clothes, personalities. If these trigger an inferiority complex inside you, never let them know about it. As they wait to feed on your misery. Mask your emotions.
• Act dumb- If you’re being placed in a very uncomfortable situation, then start acting dumb. Even thou you might understand their motives, ask them to explain each one of them in detail. This takes the fizz out of the moment and they don’t find fun in it anymore.
• Avoid Negativity- “Criticism is good till it doesn’t become pessimism.” Many people always have pessimistic and negative opinions on every single issue. Don’t listen to them. Always try to keep focus on positivity.
• Break the silence- many difficult people just avoid or remain silent. Their answers are limited to a few words. Find out their topics of interest, and ask them questions over them. Let them “educate” you on those topics. Once you can break the silence they will respect you much more.
Hope these help you tackle all the difficult persons in your life. These are general guidelines to help everyone, in case someone needs a personal application and customization of the same, you are email me at firstname.lastname@example.org
Dr.Hemant Mittal (MBBS, PG.DPM)