One Sided Love - Good or Bad?

This is the true video of an Acid attack in Mumbai. The incident occurred at Goregaon railway station at around 6:47 pm on 31st January 2012.
The girl was attacked by one Pintoo Sheikh. The attacker threw acid on her and fled. She sustained burn injuries was admitted to a private hospital and is stable now.

Pintoo Sheikh is the example of individuals who commonly are refered as "mad in one-sided love".

From my experiencing of helping people who consult me at the Mind Mantra Wellness Clinic, I can say as a neuro-emotional consultant that one-sided love or love that is not reciprocated is extremely dangerous. It can destroy a person physically, emotionally and mentally.

Once a person develops "love" feelings for someone, he/she starts to feel "ownership" or "possessiveness" about that person.
Slowly the thoughts about that person, his/her rejection and the need to get that person in your life become the only ones to occupy the mind.

As the mind thinks and thinks over one thought, the person goes through emotions of denial, helplessness, worthlessness to extent of plotting or begging for love and above all anger.

A small minority of people are "mature and practical". These are those who think from their mind and not the heart. They are able to battle the emotional pain to move ahead with life.

But in this battle of mind and heart... The majority follow the heart.

Why is one-sided love dangerous?
1. lack of confidence to express love, makes one feel low on self-esteem.

2. continuous refusal creates an inferiority complex in an individual.

3. day-night long thinking about the individual, increases helplessness. This catapults an individual to get involved in all those activities that can bring that person close:
a. lying, planning and plotting
b. astrological consultations
c. black magic / tantra
d. being lost in an imaginary world.

4. continuous helplessness and rejection, triggers an ego-battle..
this creates excessive ANGER.
a. anger against self comes out - self-harm (cutting-self,) or suicide.
b. anger against family members/society
c. anger against the "love" - that can precipitate actions like harm to the "lover" or people close to him/her.

The biggest danger is that this Anger and resentment can stay for an entire life-time... Images keep flashing in front of the eyes and in the mind for years and years.

What should be done?
I am a big advocate of Love and the power of Love. Someone who is involved in One-sided love should try his/her best possible way to get what they want.

But should also remember that a successful relationship is a team work... If you fail to get a feeling and emotion of love from the other person, its time for you to move on and seek happiness somewhere else... Life is full of possibilities and there is a better person waiting for you.

The emotional pain of losing someone might never go, but it can motivate you to understand what you really deserve to have in life.

if you are having troubles coping with the emotions than,
a. talk to a friend
b. if that doesnt help, write a diary and vent out your emotions.
c. if these dont help consult a counselor/psychiatrist in your area who can help you out.

Anger is a destructive emotion... Be careful..

For any further help, don't hesitate in asking me at :

Dr.Hemant Mittal (MBBS, PGDPM, MD-(mindmantra wellness concepts))
Neuro-Psychiatrist, Sexual health consultant, Wellness Expert and Motivational Speaker
email -

No comments:

Post a Comment