May the dawn of this new year,
shower upon you,
the heavenly secrets of prosperity,
happiness, love, joy and PEACE.
regards
dr.HEMANT MITTAL
wishing all a gr8 2009
The GREAT indian Tamasha !!!
If some inventor ever made a barometer for eccentricity, lavishness and beyond imagination show-off, it’s without doubt that the great Indian tamasha (the Indian wedding) would break all world-wide records, year after year. The great Indian wedding has been a ritual, religiously undertaken and performed for centuries by millions of dynasties all over this huge and vast country. I emphasize on the word dynasty, because the money spent on one of such events is enough to feed a tiny African nation.
The institution called marriage has a special significance in India. The fantastic fable world of “perfect marriage” and “happily ever after” is a lullaby that every Indian grows up listening, watching on movies and believing in.
The patriarchal nature of the society gives rise to a chauvinistic approach within the negotiations of a marital contract. It’s been documented and voiced by reformers, movie-makers, socialites and intelligentsia on how the feminine side of the contract is helpless, oppressed and exploited.
The journey thru the primal psychology of a normal Indian, leads up to really interesting findings. The journey begins within the millions of advertisements in newspapers classifieds and matrimonial websites. It just takes a few minutes of reading thru these advertisements, before you are crowned PhD in "Indian matrimonial advertisements".
They all have a classical start with "Young, smart, beautiful XYZ community Girl looking for a suitable match..." and end with "a handsome, well qualified, settled XYZ boy".
Once a family goes thru this great "brain-storming" session. A set of ”suitable" advertisements are selected. After initial scrutinization, a whole bunch of photos and CV's are presented to the "prospective groom". (Its surprising how we Indians are obsessed with sending applications and attending interviews. First to school, then in college, then for job, and finally for marriage. )
Let’s quickly look at the features of our "prospective" groom. He is a simple guy, who after battling the great monster of called education system has finally managed a promotion into the category of "earning member". (It’s a genetic fixation that we Indians have, as soon as someone starts to earn, the so called "elders" decide he is ripe for marriage.)
This simple guy is someone, who makes his choices, desires, views of the future, based on television/movies(our primary source of information), what his friends tell him ( who are equally or even more lost then him, but portray to be "experienced") and what he reads in b-grade novels and magazines. The lullaby of a "perfect marriage" always ringing in his head.
After being confronted with a bunch of photos and bio-data’s. The "prospective groom" gets to do some serious "mental work". He sits for hours with his parents, and decides which photo he likes. The bio-data's are only a secondary reference, to eliminate those who are on the borderline of the "beauty" concept.
(As per norms if a girl has great looks, it doesn’t matter if she has some education, leave aside work. It’s a race to grab the trophy. If she has average looks, then her education takes a call. And if she is not good-looking, well the make-up artists and photographers are her support system.)
Once a final list is short listed, the next step of the adventure happens. Our "to-be-groom" along with his parents will carry an interview session with each and every short-listed girl.
These "interview sessions", have a pre-determined protocol. Either they happen at the girls house or in the coffee shop of a 5-star hotel. The best delicacies of the region have to be served. And normally it’s around tea time.
The girl must be dressed in traditional attire, serve the food, be extra-extra polite, never raise her opinion on any issue, and never make eye-to-eye contact with any of the "guests".
Her test of obedience, politeness, and timidness happens over a one-to-one 20-30min "interview" session with our "to-be-groom"...the result of this session will decide the fate of this whole exercise. It’s supposed to happen in complete privacy. Thou I believe it’s the ancestor of all reality-TV. As it’s listened and watched by everyone possible, from every possible angle.
These interviews normally have a very simple format, and most are as following:
Once a family goes thru this great "brain-storming" session. A set of ”suitable" advertisements are selected. After initial scrutinization, a whole bunch of photos and CV's are presented to the "prospective groom". (Its surprising how we Indians are obsessed with sending applications and attending interviews. First to school, then in college, then for job, and finally for marriage. )
Let’s quickly look at the features of our "prospective" groom. He is a simple guy, who after battling the great monster of called education system has finally managed a promotion into the category of "earning member". (It’s a genetic fixation that we Indians have, as soon as someone starts to earn, the so called "elders" decide he is ripe for marriage.)
This simple guy is someone, who makes his choices, desires, views of the future, based on television/movies(our primary source of information), what his friends tell him ( who are equally or even more lost then him, but portray to be "experienced") and what he reads in b-grade novels and magazines. The lullaby of a "perfect marriage" always ringing in his head.
After being confronted with a bunch of photos and bio-data’s. The "prospective groom" gets to do some serious "mental work". He sits for hours with his parents, and decides which photo he likes. The bio-data's are only a secondary reference, to eliminate those who are on the borderline of the "beauty" concept.
(As per norms if a girl has great looks, it doesn’t matter if she has some education, leave aside work. It’s a race to grab the trophy. If she has average looks, then her education takes a call. And if she is not good-looking, well the make-up artists and photographers are her support system.)
Once a final list is short listed, the next step of the adventure happens. Our "to-be-groom" along with his parents will carry an interview session with each and every short-listed girl.
These "interview sessions", have a pre-determined protocol. Either they happen at the girls house or in the coffee shop of a 5-star hotel. The best delicacies of the region have to be served. And normally it’s around tea time.
The girl must be dressed in traditional attire, serve the food, be extra-extra polite, never raise her opinion on any issue, and never make eye-to-eye contact with any of the "guests".
Her test of obedience, politeness, and timidness happens over a one-to-one 20-30min "interview" session with our "to-be-groom"...the result of this session will decide the fate of this whole exercise. It’s supposed to happen in complete privacy. Thou I believe it’s the ancestor of all reality-TV. As it’s listened and watched by everyone possible, from every possible angle.
These interviews normally have a very simple format, and most are as following:
Boy (in slight nervous tone...sweat over the forehead): Nice place you have.
Girl (timidly): thanks.
Boy (still nervous): so what do u do?
(As if he hasn’t read her bio-data some 100 times by now)
Girl (still timid): I am working.
Boy (one step ahead in confidence): working. Interesting...even I do work (ad!!! thanks for information genius)... I have a very interesting work...blah (now that’s all rocket science)
Girl (timid and confused): you are so hard working... (India’s answer to the blondes)
(10min into the interview, another 20min to go)
Boy (some more vitamin-confidence): so what movies do you like?
Girl (timid): shahrukh khan.
Boy: well he is good...blah blah blah...
The next 10min is dedicated to a discussion on movies, movie-actors, songs, and other non-relevant topics. If by this time the girl has been able to keep that single-word-developmentally challenged attitude going on, she is on the winning track...the "pseudo-alpha"-male ego starts getting satisfied.
Boy (realising that the last leg of the interview has started): so (very casually) what are you looking in your life partner...
Girl (timid, this is an easy one...she has already rehearsed it million times with her mother): I look in for someone who can take care of me, give me love. His family accepts me. I am ready to be by his side forever. I am not after materialistic gains. (Ya true!!! we all are just humans, god made you only superhuman.)
(With this answer the boy is not just satisfied, his soul-dancing in joy to have found his better-half. The BEAUTIFUL, non-demanding, male ego satisfying woman of his dreams. The envy of his friends and colleagues. The reason why people will now take him into account. The picture of his yet-to-be-born "Adonis-like" kids flashing in front of his eyes.
This is his reply to all those girls who never wanted to go on date with him. To all those for whom he harboured sentiments but could never express. To all those who said, get a life!!. To his Boss who makes him work-overtime for no rhyme or reason. To the world!!!! This is his announcement.. I HAVE ARRIVED).
This is his reply to all those girls who never wanted to go on date with him. To all those for whom he harboured sentiments but could never express. To all those who said, get a life!!. To his Boss who makes him work-overtime for no rhyme or reason. To the world!!!! This is his announcement.. I HAVE ARRIVED).
Girl: What about you?
boy (smiling): I am also looking for someone ready to give me love (i.e. subordinate to my ego, and praising my incompetence), who can stand by me (i.e. every one turns around with envy, and tells me how beautiful wife I have), and take care of me and my family (i.e. I will give you money, you take care of everything from bed to food.)
BAANGG!!! Times-up..!!! Rush in the anxious parents and elders...with a bunch of moron-esque kids running around for lack of anything better to do.
boy (smiling): I am also looking for someone ready to give me love (i.e. subordinate to my ego, and praising my incompetence), who can stand by me (i.e. every one turns around with envy, and tells me how beautiful wife I have), and take care of me and my family (i.e. I will give you money, you take care of everything from bed to food.)
BAANGG!!! Times-up..!!! Rush in the anxious parents and elders...with a bunch of moron-esque kids running around for lack of anything better to do.
The scene now shifts to that very evening at the boy's house.
A signal of affirmation from the boy is the trigger for the next step. Hereby his parents and elders sit, discuss and dissect everything from the tea, food, attire of the relatives, the "possible" standard of living, and the status quotient of the to-be-bride. If a benchmark 90% demands are met for, a green signal is given. And some "elder" (whose connection to the whole issue is just an attempt of attention-seeking) will communicate this to the opposite side.
The great Indian Tamasha... It still fails my logic to understand how such a system drives us to live the lullaby of “perfect marriage" or "happily ever after" fable.
My search for the logic behind the holy book of “Choose a life partner in 30min for dummies" is still on.
May be its time for us to graduate and think a little more,
may be its time to be more communicative before making these marital agreements. May be its time to be more logical. The take is yours.
Most of the inputs in this write-up are from couple's who have undergone this great Tamasha, and are now undergoing marital discord due to lack of compatibility, lack of understanding and lack of communication.
Maybe it’s time to stand up for your-self when you can.
contact me
Email - eksoch@gmail.com
Twitter - http://twitter.com/#!/HemanttMittal
Dr.Hemant Mittal
(MBBS,PGDPM, MBPS, MD(Mind Mantra Wellness Concepts))
Motivational Speaker - Mind Trainer – Emotional, Behavioral,
Sleep, Memory and Sexual Health Consultant at Mind Mantra. (www.mindmantra.in )
Exercise Your Rights
we all need to stand up united and take strong steps. lets start by using our democratic rights:
1. we should vote. go out and vote..
2. exercise ur freedom of speech. speak out. The world is listening to us. post ur comments against the terror and terrorist in all forums you know.the net is a world wide space for your word to be heard.put the word across in all national/international forums.refute the baseless claims by the pakistanis for not being involved.let the world know what is happening.take ur ang
3. help people who have been affected by this tragedy physicaly, socially or mentally.in watever way its possible.if u are to far and cannt.than at least give them a line in your prayers. pray for peace.
4. stop helping pakistani people. lets boycott them, and throw them out of our country.all those buisnessmen, health-seekers, artists who cross the border for alms in india..they are all traitors...
5. praise our security forces. good, bad or ugly..they saved us.be generous in your praise and gratitude for them. make those statements be felt.let the security forces know we are standing by them.
6. voice ur reactions towards the politicians...they are accountable..we elected them.make forums, write letters, make sure that they get to know how we feel.one voice can help 1000 more to raise... and 1000voices can make the system to take account...
7. finally... JAI HIND!!! spread the love for mother india...make sure 2 small words llike JAI HIND!!! resonate thru out the space...it will raise the nationalistic spirit.
lets wake up.!!
1. we should vote. go out and vote..
2. exercise ur freedom of speech. speak out. The world is listening to us. post ur comments against the terror and terrorist in all forums you know.the net is a world wide space for your word to be heard.put the word across in all national/international forums.refute the baseless claims by the pakistanis for not being involved.let the world know what is happening.take ur ang
3. help people who have been affected by this tragedy physicaly, socially or mentally.in watever way its possible.if u are to far and cannt.than at least give them a line in your prayers. pray for peace.
4. stop helping pakistani people. lets boycott them, and throw them out of our country.all those buisnessmen, health-seekers, artists who cross the border for alms in india..they are all traitors...
5. praise our security forces. good, bad or ugly..they saved us.be generous in your praise and gratitude for them. make those statements be felt.let the security forces know we are standing by them.
6. voice ur reactions towards the politicians...they are accountable..we elected them.make forums, write letters, make sure that they get to know how we feel.one voice can help 1000 more to raise... and 1000voices can make the system to take account...
7. finally... JAI HIND!!! spread the love for mother india...make sure 2 small words llike JAI HIND!!! resonate thru out the space...it will raise the nationalistic spirit.
lets wake up.!!
Let the spirit wake up!!!
Let My Country Awake
Where the mind is without fear and the head held high;
Where knowledge is free;
Where the world has not been broken up into fragments by narrow domestic walls;
Where words come out from the depth of truth;
Where tireless striving stretches its arms towards perfection;
Where the clear stream of reason has not lost its way into the dreary desert sand of dead habit;
Where the mind is led forward by Thee into ever-widening thought and action;
Into that heaven of freedom, my Father, let my country awake.
Rabindranath Tagore
Where the mind is without fear and the head held high;
Where knowledge is free;
Where the world has not been broken up into fragments by narrow domestic walls;
Where words come out from the depth of truth;
Where tireless striving stretches its arms towards perfection;
Where the clear stream of reason has not lost its way into the dreary desert sand of dead habit;
Where the mind is led forward by Thee into ever-widening thought and action;
Into that heaven of freedom, my Father, let my country awake.
Rabindranath Tagore
MUMBAI UNDER ATTACK....AGAIN!!!!
26th Novemeber 2008...the events that unfolded in the city of Mumbai...have left many like me ragged with the out-rageous, animalistic, pscyhotic nature to which a men can fall...
my opinion on this dark nights events are...
1. its an outright act of cowardice shown by these insignificant, illiterate, uncultured, inhuman people. if defaming india is their motive, then why not do it at an international forum, where it will make a difference.
2. hats off to the mumbai police. its simple to criticize the intelligence failure, and police action. But comendable efforts for a force of hardly a hand-ful people, who live under severe stress, lead lives as per the ruling regime, and have to cater to 20million people. with just rudimentary equipment at their disposition, they have shown great human management, and alertness to keep the situation from flaring into an international show of gross incompetence and lethargic attitude by our govt.
3. we cannt expect much from the goverment. The present govt. has not only proved, but multiple times stamped its on developmentally challenged nature in controlling terrorist attacks. In the 5 yrs...apart from changing clothes the home minister does even have crocodile tears next to a saas-bahu soap opera actor.
democracy is all about a govt of the people and for the people, our ruling political parties either are illiterate and havent read this...or a paralytic attack has damaged their cognitive abilities to think....as for the non-rullig parties...its easy to advocate measures...and easy to advocate rules/regulations to obey...easy to beat up people from regions not urs...but in time of need...where are they.. they have human chain of workers, logistics in term of space, money and brain power..use it to help the needy...show social responsibility...not just vote-begging responsibilty...
4. for the common man... he suffers...be him rich, poor or middle class..he takes the brunt.
those who loose a relative know the pain.
he who looses a limb knows the pain.
he who commutes thru those lanes knows the fear.
he who gets out of his house every morning knows the anxiety.
...in 10days this wil become a great coffee table discussion, with the police nabbing some god-damn chap from some god-damn shaddy place... the comman man will be sipping his coffee and animatedly discussing the events to his peers...to forget it with the last sip.
its time for him to wake up..lets start moving towards a better society...
those who can think, can come out with ideas...those who can work..can work upon those ideas...and all can reap the fruits of it.
we have a great nation...let such terror strikes be a motivation to keep improving it...not a excuse to criticize it.
my opinion on this dark nights events are...
1. its an outright act of cowardice shown by these insignificant, illiterate, uncultured, inhuman people. if defaming india is their motive, then why not do it at an international forum, where it will make a difference.
2. hats off to the mumbai police. its simple to criticize the intelligence failure, and police action. But comendable efforts for a force of hardly a hand-ful people, who live under severe stress, lead lives as per the ruling regime, and have to cater to 20million people. with just rudimentary equipment at their disposition, they have shown great human management, and alertness to keep the situation from flaring into an international show of gross incompetence and lethargic attitude by our govt.
3. we cannt expect much from the goverment. The present govt. has not only proved, but multiple times stamped its on developmentally challenged nature in controlling terrorist attacks. In the 5 yrs...apart from changing clothes the home minister does even have crocodile tears next to a saas-bahu soap opera actor.
democracy is all about a govt of the people and for the people, our ruling political parties either are illiterate and havent read this...or a paralytic attack has damaged their cognitive abilities to think....as for the non-rullig parties...its easy to advocate measures...and easy to advocate rules/regulations to obey...easy to beat up people from regions not urs...but in time of need...where are they.. they have human chain of workers, logistics in term of space, money and brain power..use it to help the needy...show social responsibility...not just vote-begging responsibilty...
4. for the common man... he suffers...be him rich, poor or middle class..he takes the brunt.
those who loose a relative know the pain.
he who looses a limb knows the pain.
he who commutes thru those lanes knows the fear.
he who gets out of his house every morning knows the anxiety.
...in 10days this wil become a great coffee table discussion, with the police nabbing some god-damn chap from some god-damn shaddy place... the comman man will be sipping his coffee and animatedly discussing the events to his peers...to forget it with the last sip.
its time for him to wake up..lets start moving towards a better society...
those who can think, can come out with ideas...those who can work..can work upon those ideas...and all can reap the fruits of it.
we have a great nation...let such terror strikes be a motivation to keep improving it...not a excuse to criticize it.
HEART ATTACK...the big brother of Stress!!!!
Rohit(name changed) young and rich at 35yrs of age, is the envy of his friends and collegues, a hero for his family, and a good smile for his fat heart-specialist (cardiac physician).
A senior executive manager whose work speaks for himself. Owner of a 5 bedroom flat in sub- urban mumbai, a luxury segment car. Multiplex movie watcher, weekend regular at elite night-clubs, and platinium credit card holder in 3 international banks.
An individual with an ambious, competetive constructive attitude towards life, and an equally destructive attitude towards his own health.
Climbing the ladder of success doesnt only mean hard work. Behind the scenes, it also means, ditching your good sleep for hard long work hours. Step-motherly attitude towards food and appetite. Your brain racing faster than a BMW beamer on the highway. And closer inseperable ties with old friends mr.alcohol and ms.cigarettes.
The stab to the heart comes from a that over-fed, over-grown monster in the shadows. He who has been with you thru out the journey, whom you feed everyday, with the belief he is gonna remain harmless and tameable thru out your life.. good old STRESS!!!
Rohit had stressed his mind and body to such an extent, that the emotional heart just went on strike. At 3am he woke up his wife, to the horror of a chest pain...Lucky for him he reached the hospital in time...As the villanious words from the doctors mouth pronounced HEART ATTACK!!! His master brain finally hit the panic button.
Stress is the biggest enemy of mind-body-soul. Every year thousands of people fall prey to it.Heart Attacks are a product of weak mind and weaker body. The human body is like that ever-forgiving preist who keeps telling us to mend our ways, when we have time. But disappears in the obllivion once his patience has been breached.
A senior executive manager whose work speaks for himself. Owner of a 5 bedroom flat in sub- urban mumbai, a luxury segment car. Multiplex movie watcher, weekend regular at elite night-clubs, and platinium credit card holder in 3 international banks.
An individual with an ambious, competetive constructive attitude towards life, and an equally destructive attitude towards his own health.
Climbing the ladder of success doesnt only mean hard work. Behind the scenes, it also means, ditching your good sleep for hard long work hours. Step-motherly attitude towards food and appetite. Your brain racing faster than a BMW beamer on the highway. And closer inseperable ties with old friends mr.alcohol and ms.cigarettes.
The stab to the heart comes from a that over-fed, over-grown monster in the shadows. He who has been with you thru out the journey, whom you feed everyday, with the belief he is gonna remain harmless and tameable thru out your life.. good old STRESS!!!
Rohit had stressed his mind and body to such an extent, that the emotional heart just went on strike. At 3am he woke up his wife, to the horror of a chest pain...Lucky for him he reached the hospital in time...As the villanious words from the doctors mouth pronounced HEART ATTACK!!! His master brain finally hit the panic button.
Stress is the biggest enemy of mind-body-soul. Every year thousands of people fall prey to it.Heart Attacks are a product of weak mind and weaker body. The human body is like that ever-forgiving preist who keeps telling us to mend our ways, when we have time. But disappears in the obllivion once his patience has been breached.
Keep your-self Healthy !!!
Demystifying the incognito called THE AMBANI's
As Friday Night fell upon me, the portal to peace and relaxation called weekend, started its ritual of opening up. To savor the maximum of this lovely moment, me and bunch of friends decided to treat our week-long hard-work, to a "good" coffee at the grand Hyatt.
The drive up there wasnt anything less then an adventure, with every tom, dick and harry that owns a mercedes, BMW or etc.. driving like a maniac-on the loose.
At the drive-way of the hotel, something didnt look fine. The security was more then normal. A bunch of the "i am rich and dumb" standing in front of the main door, waiting for their car. I always found this species of homo sapiens, the one god has been least favorable too. Theymight roam around in swanky cars, jet-set the world, buy whatever they desire, but they lack basic grey matter. My overtly-generalized belief was concretized when the fatest of the lot shouted "i hate bandra, it has soo many poor people that my new BMW cannt run over 30km/hr"
a slim, thin, model-looking girl replied " i totally support you, by the way anyone saw the new gucci earings collection"....
After such a warm welcome party, we proceeded inside the main lobby. Hyatt is a beutiful place.A good ambiance, generally good people (people who are productive...not destructive as that bunch) and nice coffee.
As I moved from the lobby towards the cafe... i suddenly found a pair of piercing eyes looking towards me. They belonged to a beutiful lady, dressed in a gujurati-style sari, having a charming face, and at the same time very authoritative. She was surrounded by an esteemed bunch of "i am rich and dumb" kids. The glance of who triggered a post-traumatic stress disorder.. gracefully I turned my face, and continued my search for a comfortable seat. It wasnt till a couple of seconds latter, that the corner of my eye spotted a familar face sitting next to that lady. Within a few milliseconds, my eye-brain-body reaction mechanism fired... I was standing in front of THE Ambani's.
An instant flashback ran thru my eyes, where I was tele-transported to that same morning's 7.38am local to VT, when an gentlemen had stuck half his newspaper right in front of my nose. And the smiling face of Mr.Mukesh Ambani, was staring at me, with the caption below reading "RICHEST INDIAN IN THE WORLD"... 15 hours latter, the same face was staring at me. This time alive and no smile.
We soon found a comfortable seat, few steps away from the scion of indian's most successful buisness story.
Needless to specify, It aint everyday that you find yourself within a hand's distance from Indian richest family. And needless to say, we aint the only one's who were in awe.
They are a nice family. Thou They need to do a lot about their health, and eating habits. They are well behaved, and they do know their place in the world scenario.
Slowly the feeling sinked in, we became comfortable with the environment. Briefly we discussed the ambanis, their mannerisms, their money, their power....and slowly gave way to the skeletons of our socialist-selfs. How India needs more philantropists, better education, how we need to lift our society, the great socio-economic divide. Socialism started to dominate the environement. Be it a defense mechanism against our unconcious comparision with them or be it a trigger to free our suppressed "intellectual" ideas... the discussion was animated, full of ideas and very entertaining.
Like a river from its glacier to the sea,this eventful evening was coming to an end. The last sips of coffee running down our throats, the bad and slow service at the Hyatt behaving as spoil-sport...we slowly walked towards the exit...when another bunch of the "I am rich and dumb" intercepted us. One of the slimmest chaps in the lot, was bubbling and jumping like a fly lost inside a container of sweets...when suddenly he shouted towards his friends in total excitement -
"I cannt believe it dudes!!! Mukesh Ambani was peeing next to me in the loo"
We four looked at each other, graciously made an exit, sat our cute little santro.... bursted into uncontrollable, stomach wrecking laughter and thanked god for being
"the simple common man".
contact me
Email - eksoch@gmail.com
Twitter - http://twitter.com/#!/HemanttMittal
Dr.Hemant Mittal
(MBBS,PGDPM, MBPS, MD(Mind Mantra Wellness Concepts))
Motivational Speaker - Mind Trainer – Emotional, Behavioral,
Sleep, Memory and Sexual Health Consultant at Mind Mantra. (www.mindmantra.in )
DOCTOR...to be or not to be???
From the age of the dinosaurs, 90% of the average middle-class Indian Parent has dreamt of his/her child to be either a doctor, an engineer, or an accountant... This wish has been so deeply embedded into the collective unconcious of our society, that millions and millions of kids have been sacrificed to the wishes of their parents illogically-based desires...
Today as we stand at the dawn of a new century, where multi-cultural influences have imparted a new sense of logic to our way of thinking, this inherent wish has yet to be erased or else logically approached by the new generation parents.
Yesterday I had an adolescent patient, who had landed into severe depression cause he couldnt fullfill this very wish of his parents. The situation had turned so ugly that he even attempted self-harm a couple of times. The funny part is that none of his parents actually was ready to accept the mental-pressure this chap was under. They where more concerned about their social position.
Its really sad to see, and really heart-breaking to see 18,19, 20yrs old under so much pressure, and going into nervous-breakdowns.
today when the medical profession aint as lucrative as it used to be. Parents still hover on the past glories of certain old doctors...
I just question the logic of such parents who are dragging their children into the abyss of depression, for a fake certificate of prestige in front of the so called social tree..
Today as we stand at the dawn of a new century, where multi-cultural influences have imparted a new sense of logic to our way of thinking, this inherent wish has yet to be erased or else logically approached by the new generation parents.
Yesterday I had an adolescent patient, who had landed into severe depression cause he couldnt fullfill this very wish of his parents. The situation had turned so ugly that he even attempted self-harm a couple of times. The funny part is that none of his parents actually was ready to accept the mental-pressure this chap was under. They where more concerned about their social position.
Its really sad to see, and really heart-breaking to see 18,19, 20yrs old under so much pressure, and going into nervous-breakdowns.
today when the medical profession aint as lucrative as it used to be. Parents still hover on the past glories of certain old doctors...
I just question the logic of such parents who are dragging their children into the abyss of depression, for a fake certificate of prestige in front of the so called social tree..
AN APPETITE FOR FUN!!!
If all of the eight desserts listed below were sitting infront of you, which would you choose (sorry, you can onlypick one)!
Trust me...this is very accurate.
Pick yourdessert, and then look to see what psychiatrists think aboutyou.
Here are your choices:
1. Angel Food Cake
2.Brownies
3. Lemon Meringue Pie
4. Vanilla Cake With Chocolate Icing
5. Strawberry Short Cake
6. Chocolate Cake With Chocolate Icing
7. Ice Cream
8. Carrot Cake
No, you can't change your mind once you scroll down, so think carefully what your choice will be.
OK - Now that you've made your choice, this is what the researchers say about you..
SCROLL DOWN---No Cheating
1.ANGEL FOOD CAKE -- Sweet, loving, cuddly. You love all warm and fuzzy items. A little nutty at times. Sometimes you need an ice cream cone at the end of the day Others perceive you as being childlike and immature at times.
2. BROWNIES -- You are adventurous, love new ideas, and are a champion of underdogs and a slayer of dragons. When tempers flare up you whip out your sober. You are always the oddball with a unique sense of humour and direction. You tend to be very loyal.
3. LEMON MERINGUE -- Smooth, sexy, & articulate with your hands, you are an excellent caregiver and a good teacher. But don't try to walk and chew gum at the same time. A bit of a diva at times, you set your own style because you do your own thing.You shine when it comes to helping others and have many friends.
4. VANILLA CAKE WITH CHOCOLATE ICING -- Fun-loving, sassy, humorous, not very grounded in life; very indecisive and lacking motivation. Everyone enjoys being around you, but you are a practical joker. Others should be cautious in making you mad. However, you are a friend for life.
5. STRAWBERRY SHORTCAKE -- Romantic, warm, loving. You care about other people, can be counted on in a pinch and expect the same in return. Intuitively keen. You can be very emotional at times but a true person in every way. You like to do things for yourself and help others learn about themselves.
6. CHOCOLATE CAKE WITH CHOCOLATE ICING -- Sexy; always ready to give and receive. Very creative, adventurous, ambitious, and passionate. You can appear to have a cold exterior but are warm on the inside. Not afraid to take chances. Will not settle for anything average in life. Love to laugh.
7. ICE CREAM -- You like sports, whether it be baseball, football, basketball, or soccer.If you could, you would like to participate, but you enjoy watching sports . You don't like to give up the remote control. You tend to be self-centered and high maintenance.
8. CARROT CAKE -- You are a very fun loving person, who likes to laugh You are fun to be with. People like to hang out with you. You are a very warm hearted person and a little quirky at times. You have many loyal friends. You were meant to lead and teach others. A wonderful role model.
Is this LOVE !!!
23 October, 10.30am, sitting at the Memory Clinic at Nair Hospital, waiting for the 1st appointment of the day to turn up.
a few minutes pass by, and the door opens... my mind, body and soul turn on the engine's...lets start the proceedings...
Walks in an old lady, must be in her late 60's, wrinkled face, heavy specs, whitish hair, having troubles finding the direction, lost in her own world, talking to her-self in her "own" language, looking upon each new face with suspicion.
She is Followed by a even older gentleman, who very patiently shows her the way, shows her the chair, explains her that's it meant to be seated upon. Helps her sit down. Occasionally throws a comforting smile towards her, which she doesn't respond to. And still holds her hands, like the 1st time he helped her cross that busy road.
Very slowly she settles into the chair, looks around. Feels lost. I try to gather some eye to eye contact, but its futile. The only thing i achieve is an occasional blank stare. By now I have already made a picture of the disease in my mind. She is Alzheimer's..advance stage. I also deduce that she has gone to the point of no-return. From here onwards, my role is just to reduce as many symptoms as possible before she reaches that eventual ending.
I ask her husband, whats the current status. Unfortunately he confirms my worst fears.
Since last 6months she has completely lost all memory. She doesn't remember any member of her family,
doesn't remember even her own name,
doesn't remember the street where she has been living since 50yrs,
doesn't remember where the bathroom in the house is.
She can't dress-up herself anymore, coz she has forgotten how to button-up.
She eats only once in few days, as she forgets that she is hungry.
She doesn't remember that she needs to go to the loo, and urinates in her own clothes.
She doesn't remember that a chair is meant for sitting, and water is meant for drinking.
In middle of all this She still occasionally turns to her husband and recognises his face. Then she scolds him for aging so fast. And again she gets lost in her own world.
at the end of the long list of complaints, and after my entire neuro-psychiatric examination...
I looked upon her husband, and out-of the context asked him...how do you keep the smiling?
He looked upon me...as a old sage does towards the seeker of knowledge... smiled and said "I love her...and will love her till my last breath"...
As i bid them goodbye, i turned to myself and thought... IS THIS LOVE!!!! it cannot be defined so simply by just four letters!!!
a few minutes pass by, and the door opens... my mind, body and soul turn on the engine's...lets start the proceedings...
Walks in an old lady, must be in her late 60's, wrinkled face, heavy specs, whitish hair, having troubles finding the direction, lost in her own world, talking to her-self in her "own" language, looking upon each new face with suspicion.
She is Followed by a even older gentleman, who very patiently shows her the way, shows her the chair, explains her that's it meant to be seated upon. Helps her sit down. Occasionally throws a comforting smile towards her, which she doesn't respond to. And still holds her hands, like the 1st time he helped her cross that busy road.
Very slowly she settles into the chair, looks around. Feels lost. I try to gather some eye to eye contact, but its futile. The only thing i achieve is an occasional blank stare. By now I have already made a picture of the disease in my mind. She is Alzheimer's..advance stage. I also deduce that she has gone to the point of no-return. From here onwards, my role is just to reduce as many symptoms as possible before she reaches that eventual ending.
I ask her husband, whats the current status. Unfortunately he confirms my worst fears.
Since last 6months she has completely lost all memory. She doesn't remember any member of her family,
doesn't remember even her own name,
doesn't remember the street where she has been living since 50yrs,
doesn't remember where the bathroom in the house is.
She can't dress-up herself anymore, coz she has forgotten how to button-up.
She eats only once in few days, as she forgets that she is hungry.
She doesn't remember that she needs to go to the loo, and urinates in her own clothes.
She doesn't remember that a chair is meant for sitting, and water is meant for drinking.
In middle of all this She still occasionally turns to her husband and recognises his face. Then she scolds him for aging so fast. And again she gets lost in her own world.
at the end of the long list of complaints, and after my entire neuro-psychiatric examination...
I looked upon her husband, and out-of the context asked him...how do you keep the smiling?
He looked upon me...as a old sage does towards the seeker of knowledge... smiled and said "I love her...and will love her till my last breath"...
As i bid them goodbye, i turned to myself and thought... IS THIS LOVE!!!! it cannot be defined so simply by just four letters!!!
SMILE... :)
Mumbai Local train traveling ain't the easiest in the world. We are not commuters, but Gladiators. Men and Women fighting united by the common cause to be the 1st one in grabbing that one seat, that empty standing place, that corner where you can at least stand with both feet planted on the floor.
Pushing, jumping into moving trains, shouting, getting bruised, some unknown chap shouting his lungs out into your poor ear while talking on his cell-phone, all the gossip and rumors spoken out loud as if bargaining in financial stock markets.... to cut the story short... its a physical, mental and spiritual torture to complete a every single journey.
The Mumbai locals are also the place where you can learn the most. Its Where your teacher is Life, and the subject is "reality". One of those great teachings happened today.
As usual, After a day of good productive work at Nair Hospital, I was heading back home. The taxi ride wasn't the best, the Mumbai October heat had me dehydrated, and "daily" life stress was on free ride inside my mind...As I got into the 1st class compartment, i had the luxury of a nearly empty coach. I scanned thru and found myself a nice place. In a few seconds the October heat got hold of me, and suddenly i found myself at the center of a moving furnace. The slow speed of the train added valuable points to my frustration. By the 5 station, with every passing stop, increasing heat, crowd pouring in and out, my frustration barometer had reached a peak. My mind was multitasking by battling the "daily" stress, cursing the govt. for the deplorable journey, and ordering my facial muscles to go into frown-mode.
At Kurla station, an old,thin, stooped postured, tobacco-taint toothed, sweat smelling, torn clothes wearing gentleman came and sat just across my seat. I'm dead against discrimination on any basis, but obviously this old chap didn't belong to the 1st class crowd.
Within a few seconds, he asked me in a heavily "north-Indian" accented hindi "bahi yeh train panvel ko jayegi kya ( is this train going to panvel station) "...
Battling my own internal world, least interested i replied ... "haa-ji, panvel ki train hai panvel hi jayegi..." (yes sir, this is a panvel bound train so it will go to panvel)...
by this time I had understood, that our guest here, wasn't from mumbai. And he had least experience of traveling in mumbai locals...
With the moving train, the expressions on the old chappy's face kept changing.. sometimes suspicious, curious, disgusted...while me siting in front of him, having the most plastic frown painted all over my face, as if my facial muscles had gone on strike.
Following its normal route, the train got onto the Vashi creek bridge...(this is a km long bridge connecting mumbai with navi mumbai.)...and Its that part of my daily journey when my mind, body and soul start working in harmony, as the journey is nearing its completion.
BUT today something happened!!!.... As the train got onto the Vashi creek bridge...the old man suddenly jumped on his seat. His eyes lit up, his body got all charged up, and then he SMILED...a smile like that of a 6months old baby, a smile full of innocence and happiness. A smile that's not only infectious, but that's enlightening.
In his moment of euphoria, pointing towards the adjacent road-transport bridge over vashi creek, he looked towards me... and said " sahib, maine aaj tak kabhi itne badi pooliya par itna saara gaadi ko chalte nahi dekha.. (sir, i haven't seen such a big bridge in my life)" he continued... "dekho dekho sahib... pooliya samundar ke uper hai...aur gadi kitna badha hai...(see, see the bridge is over water and the cars are so big)"... and he kept smiling...
Within a second, the rush of a 100 red bull energy drinks got over me. His infectious smile, got hold of me to. Suddenly all my facial muscles came back to work, and a unknown, sense of happiness filled my mind...
After a while we both got back to our initial positions, but with me the smile remained, the frustration was lowered, the mind had stoped battling the "daily" stress, new ideas solutions started to pour in, and the day started looking productive again...
its strange but how often we just forget to smile....and its power.
Whenever your day ain't going right...whenever you feel things aren't ok...whenever you are down... just go back to that pleasant memory, just see that little baby, just listen to a good song... JUST LET YOURSELF SMILE :)
The Burning Incense Stick....
The Aroma of Sandalwood slowly glides its way to each corner of the room, leaving a pleasant feeling of happiness and a elation in the room. There is always a feeling of something mystical and spiritual thats connected with an incense stick. To think about it, isn't it amazing how a little thing like an incense stick, can bring joy and peace to an environment.
Like an incense stick, if we just look into our lifes, we will find that the statement:
"its so simple to be happy, but so difficult to be simple"
is so true.
I am no preacher of right and wrong, but i do understand the human mind. And i do understand, like all of you, the basic, inner-most feeling, dominating our mind-body-soul complex is HAPPINESS.
The quintessential search for happiness, is a never-ending human story, that starts with birth and ends up with death. How many attain it? may be all or may be none or maybe some...the answer is inconsequential, but the realisation of it is.
HAPPINESS as seen from a psychological point has following parts :
1. the biological reason for happiness
2. the emotional reason for happiness.
3. the spiritual or mystical reason for happiness.
1. The Biological Reason:
Our brain is the master of the body. So is it the master of our emotions. its a highly complex network of nerves and matter,that communicates within itself thru chemicals called neuro-transmitters. It communicates with the body thru chemicals called hormones. The brain tries its level best to maintain a harmony or homeostatis between these chemicals and neuro-transmitters. Sometimes genetics or the environment trigger a huge demand for a particular chemical, depleating it and leading to negative emotions, attitudes and behaviours.
e.g. depression can be caused by the depletion of neuro-transmitter serotonin, which is triggered by an environmental factor.
2. The emotional Reason:
An individual's psychology is a book, whose pages he starts writing the day he is born.
From the 1st month of life, we start learning certain emotions, attitudes and behaviours. We start learning responses to situations, we start learning to how to cope with situations,overall we start learning how to emotionally move ahead every day in life. All this learning goes into the UNCONCIOUS MIND, and after 5yrs of age, we start acting according to the learnt. When thinks dont happen according to us, we display negative emotions. And when they happen according to us, we display positive emotions. Once we are exposed to too much of an emotion...positive or negative...we develop changes in our personality that later become disorders. e.g too much positive emotions can make you arrogant and angery which can lead to bad decisions in critical time. vis-a-vis too much of negative emotions can make you sad, irritable that can lead to self-harm or self-destruction.
3. The Spiritual Reason:
Spiritually we are all souls in this universe. A soul, is a source of energy. We are dominated by positive and negative energies. The balance should always favor the positive energy and not the negative one. As the bias changes to negative energy, the more dangerous it becomes for our mind and body.
e.g. people telling you constantly that you are bad, surrounds you with negative vibes, that can lead to irritation, sadness, and anger. vis-a-vis keeping a positive approach will lead to victory in any battle coming your way.
Coming back to our little incense stick.... It embodies the meaning of happiness inside of it. It walks thru its life burning the right chemicals, surrounded with positive energy and balances our emotions. so
"is it so difficult to keep it simple?"
Learn to APPRECIATE HER
THIS IS ISSUED FOR THOSE INDIAN MALE WHO ARE FUELED BY A FALSE-EGO OF BEING BORN A MALE..
Its time you respect and appreciate the woman in your life... your wife!!
The classical indian metro-city males looks to marry an educated working-class girl, whom he expects to be a virgin, and above all takes care of him, his family and at the same time reproduce 2-3 beautiful kids.
So because getting into this deal, have you thought what you have to offer.. And what she has to offer...
Think about yourself, as you get to know what she brings to the table-
She, like you and any other human has grown up with dreams and aspirations...
She, like you or your sister, might have never entered a kitchen as she was busy in studies and competing in a system that gives no special concession to girls for their culinary achievements.
She, like you, who has loved her parents, brothers and sisters for 20-25years before meeting you.
She like you wants to earn money so she can have a sense of self-worth...
She, who has bravely agreed to leave behind all her dreams, aspirations, family and family name, just because she believes in you.
From the time of marriage,
She, is expected to be a master-chef from day #1, while you sleep oblivious to her predicament in the new circumstances, environment and that kitchen.
She, is expected to make tea, first thing in the morning and cook food at the end of the day.. what if she has traveled and worked the same as you...yet she is never expected to complain;
She, who is to be a servant, a cook, a mother, a wife, even if she doesn't want to..
She, just like you, who is learning what the meaning of a relationship is... but still has to be a buffer of "taunts" from those around.
She, who like you, is clumsy and sloppy at times.. but pointing fingers at her mistakes is easier as she is supposed to be quiet.
She, who like you, has had her own set of friends since school days, yet is willing to put all that on the back-burners to avoid your irrational jealousy, unnecessary competition and your inherent insecurities...
she who has the right to drink and dance just as well as you can, but won't, simply because you won't like it...
She, who like you, might have deadlines at work.. but cannot be late from work without a "smart-ass" comment being thrown at her..
She, who prefers to remain quiet, as is doing her level best to make this relationship a grand success by being self-sacrificing...
She, who is supposed to be always perfect, doesn't matter how her body is behaving..
She, who is supposed to take all the burdens of the children, while you sit find faults...
BEING A MAN DOESN'T MEAN JUST SUPPLYING MONEY...
BEING A MAN DOESN'T MEAN YOU ARE SUPERIOR TO WOMAN...
RESPECT THE SACRIFICES ONE MAKES FOR YOU..
LOVE ONLY COMES WITH UNDERSTANDING, GOOD COMMUNICATION AND TRUST...
DON'T COMPLAIN OR COMPARE YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH OTHERS IF YOU ARE NOT ABLE TO PROVIDE UNDERSTANDING, COMMUNICATION AND TRUST...
by,
Dr.Hemant Mittal
website - www.mindmantra.in
email - eksoch@gmail.com
Its time you respect and appreciate the woman in your life... your wife!!
The classical indian metro-city males looks to marry an educated working-class girl, whom he expects to be a virgin, and above all takes care of him, his family and at the same time reproduce 2-3 beautiful kids.
So because getting into this deal, have you thought what you have to offer.. And what she has to offer...
Think about yourself, as you get to know what she brings to the table-
She, like you and any other human has grown up with dreams and aspirations...
She, like you or your sister, might have never entered a kitchen as she was busy in studies and competing in a system that gives no special concession to girls for their culinary achievements.
She, like you, who has loved her parents, brothers and sisters for 20-25years before meeting you.
She like you wants to earn money so she can have a sense of self-worth...
She, who has bravely agreed to leave behind all her dreams, aspirations, family and family name, just because she believes in you.
From the time of marriage,
She, is expected to be a master-chef from day #1, while you sleep oblivious to her predicament in the new circumstances, environment and that kitchen.
She, is expected to make tea, first thing in the morning and cook food at the end of the day.. what if she has traveled and worked the same as you...yet she is never expected to complain;
She, who is to be a servant, a cook, a mother, a wife, even if she doesn't want to..
She, just like you, who is learning what the meaning of a relationship is... but still has to be a buffer of "taunts" from those around.
She, who like you, is clumsy and sloppy at times.. but pointing fingers at her mistakes is easier as she is supposed to be quiet.
She, who like you, has had her own set of friends since school days, yet is willing to put all that on the back-burners to avoid your irrational jealousy, unnecessary competition and your inherent insecurities...
she who has the right to drink and dance just as well as you can, but won't, simply because you won't like it...
She, who like you, might have deadlines at work.. but cannot be late from work without a "smart-ass" comment being thrown at her..
She, who prefers to remain quiet, as is doing her level best to make this relationship a grand success by being self-sacrificing...
She, who is supposed to be always perfect, doesn't matter how her body is behaving..
She, who is supposed to take all the burdens of the children, while you sit find faults...
BEING A MAN DOESN'T MEAN JUST SUPPLYING MONEY...
BEING A MAN DOESN'T MEAN YOU ARE SUPERIOR TO WOMAN...
RESPECT THE SACRIFICES ONE MAKES FOR YOU..
LOVE ONLY COMES WITH UNDERSTANDING, GOOD COMMUNICATION AND TRUST...
DON'T COMPLAIN OR COMPARE YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH OTHERS IF YOU ARE NOT ABLE TO PROVIDE UNDERSTANDING, COMMUNICATION AND TRUST...
by,
Dr.Hemant Mittal
website - www.mindmantra.in
email - eksoch@gmail.com
Saas Bahau Aur ...Psychiatry...
If I am permitted to draw a parallel, the evolution of mordern india has its closest links to the evolution of the SAAS BAHAU SERIAL... As Tulsi Virani ( "THE" TULSI VIRANI) aged, changed different roles of life, shedded bottles of glycerin and grew fat... India as a nation, grew socially, economically and "mentally".
Ramayan and Mahabharat once ruled the hearts and minds of the naive indian television viewer. Today the onus is to choose from vast array of saas, bahau's and xyz characters.
So are these soap operas good or bad? well take ur pick...who is worse gorge bush or osama bin laden? To each his own ... But definetly these Serials are POWERFUL... They leave a long lasting effect on the mind of the viewer... Just like that Armani Perfume that doesnt leave you, These serials stick to your Unconcious Mind. And have the power of changing your entire personality.
I will give you some examples i have noticed over the past few months...
1. a girl with her mother buying clothes at the mall.. girl "how do i look in this dress"...
mother.. "nahi beta...you look like vamp of kahani ghar ghar ki.."
the girl changes into another dress... "mummy how do i look now?"
mother ..."beta this is perfect...you look ditto like ananya from ladkhi anjani si..."
well you will say...its fashion...we all like to buy whats in-sync.. And I accept that.
My-point is...that the mother wants to fashion her daughter to fit the mould of "perfect" girl from that serial...This puts an added pressure onto the girl...
2. Two old ladies during their daily gossip session...
1st lady...."mrs.gupta ki bahau...is just like komolika"...."she has destroyed that entire family"..
2nd lady..." i know..you are so right...thank god my bahau is just like prerna. So caring..."
my point- creating milestones by looking at fictional characters...well isnt that non-logical !!! how many times have you been compared to some t.v. actor, who you dont even know...
How many times,have you seen that the hottest topic in a gathering is a soap opera and its story-line...
how many times does that 9'o'clock click...trigger the irritation, anger button inside of you.
how many times do you avoid going home early, to avoid those rivers of glycering, the eyes of suspicion and classical background score..
if you just sit and count...how many points have already been added to your stress meter.
3. This is the best one....
A few years ago, when I joined post-graduation. As an obidient, nice, 1st year PG student, i was required to finish my morning patients check up by 9am. And evening round by 7pm.
One fine day during my evening round, i see a huge discussion going on at the end of the corridor. I ignore it, as these petite things are normal in a hospital. Within a few minutes I see a fellow doctor, from other speciality, being surrounded by a crowd of 5-7people...And the discussion gathering heat.
Sensing something is wrong, i decide to take a casual walk towards ground-zero... As i reach there, i find my friend being bombared with millions of questions about blood cancer, how it can be cured, and how in-efficient the doctors in this hospital are. I approach the crowd, and casually ask one of them what is happening. This gentlemen, not sensing that I am a doctor, Takes me to the side and tells me the whole story.
To cut things short...The patient, some unfortunate chap who was diagnosed with "blood" Cancer or Leukemia. His relatives where debating on all the possible treatments available. Their medical guide...A soap opera!!!
I am not against entertainment...I am not against soap operas...but i am against you being at mercy of them... ITS TIME TO WAKE UP!!!! OR MAY ITS TIME TO TURN THE T.V AND GO TO SLEEP...
a broken heart...
11th october, 7.00pm.
As i prepare to end the day, and move into weekend mode, walk's in this fragile, sad-looking, dejected youngester...must be between 18-22 from the first impression. And 100% he is depression case.
Young depressive clients are a big enigma...you never know what is causing the pain...you never know what is hampering there mind-thought-body. But at the same time they are the most professionally satisfying, coz the recovery rate is extremely high. In fact counseling shows maximum benefit with them.
hmm.. now coming back to reality... As this young chap walks in, i see a gentleman coming along with him. A presume its his father or elder brother.
They sit, the well-groomed gentlemen introduces himself... "hello doctor, I have come along with my son. He seems to have this problem.Since past few days he isnt concentrating in his studies, seems to be sleepy and fatigued thru out the day, doesnt like to interact with anyone, is loosing all interest in studies, and his grades have started decreasing. (typical indian parent, concerned with studies and grades only!!!! but cannt blame them, with the tough competition out there..everyone wants their son/daughter to be the best...but if they only asked their son/daughter what they want)...anywaz...going away from the moral policing...and coming to the point...
After the gentlemen took the pains to tell me his part of the story ....it was my time to come into action. I quickly sensed that there was some under-line reason for all these depressive symptoms. I asked him to leave us alone.
We started talking...infact i was stareing at him, as looked towards the floor...for 5min (it was geting to my nerves...)..then i said the magic words "i wont tell your dad"...
he believed me...and then started the sad story of new age romeo- new age juliet...
he was 22yrs old, finishing his graduation in science subject, since the 1st year of college he feel in love with a girl. The lady reciprocated to his affection. Soon they started "going around". He feel more and more in love with her... i.e. he became more and more dependant on her...And took her omni-presence in his life as the central focal point of living. (now cannt blame him... "love is blind")... 2 months ago, as they approached final semester, he decided to prop the question of marriage.!!! and since then she started to distance her self.. a couple of weeks ago, she finally broke off the relationship. leaving mr.romeo heart broken, and sinking into the deep sands of depression. ( evil has no face!!!!)...
it was a sad story..but then it can happen to anyone...
Since that day...he had "lost it"...sleep, appetite, regular daily activities all had lost the regular schedule. He lost all desire, motivation to excel in his studies and get a good job... Was even contemplating self-harm.
i called his father back into the consultancy. Explained him that it was depression. Told him it was education-stress related. The young romeo did get a slight smile for a second (..sometimes a lie can help bring smiles...) Father dear was most cooperative in accepting the problem and going ahead with the treatment.
I knew he would respond with few sessions of counseling..But PAPA di great...wasnt intrested in counseling.Just wanted him back on the studies track earlier than possible. With a heavy heart had to start on non-sedative, non-addictive anti-depressants... Now lets wait and watch..as within 3weeks he should start showing the effects....
for the moment time to pack-up...and head straight into the weekend :)
As i prepare to end the day, and move into weekend mode, walk's in this fragile, sad-looking, dejected youngester...must be between 18-22 from the first impression. And 100% he is depression case.
Young depressive clients are a big enigma...you never know what is causing the pain...you never know what is hampering there mind-thought-body. But at the same time they are the most professionally satisfying, coz the recovery rate is extremely high. In fact counseling shows maximum benefit with them.
hmm.. now coming back to reality... As this young chap walks in, i see a gentleman coming along with him. A presume its his father or elder brother.
They sit, the well-groomed gentlemen introduces himself... "hello doctor, I have come along with my son. He seems to have this problem.Since past few days he isnt concentrating in his studies, seems to be sleepy and fatigued thru out the day, doesnt like to interact with anyone, is loosing all interest in studies, and his grades have started decreasing. (typical indian parent, concerned with studies and grades only!!!! but cannt blame them, with the tough competition out there..everyone wants their son/daughter to be the best...but if they only asked their son/daughter what they want)...anywaz...going away from the moral policing...and coming to the point...
After the gentlemen took the pains to tell me his part of the story ....it was my time to come into action. I quickly sensed that there was some under-line reason for all these depressive symptoms. I asked him to leave us alone.
We started talking...infact i was stareing at him, as looked towards the floor...for 5min (it was geting to my nerves...)..then i said the magic words "i wont tell your dad"...
he believed me...and then started the sad story of new age romeo- new age juliet...
he was 22yrs old, finishing his graduation in science subject, since the 1st year of college he feel in love with a girl. The lady reciprocated to his affection. Soon they started "going around". He feel more and more in love with her... i.e. he became more and more dependant on her...And took her omni-presence in his life as the central focal point of living. (now cannt blame him... "love is blind")... 2 months ago, as they approached final semester, he decided to prop the question of marriage.!!! and since then she started to distance her self.. a couple of weeks ago, she finally broke off the relationship. leaving mr.romeo heart broken, and sinking into the deep sands of depression. ( evil has no face!!!!)...
it was a sad story..but then it can happen to anyone...
Since that day...he had "lost it"...sleep, appetite, regular daily activities all had lost the regular schedule. He lost all desire, motivation to excel in his studies and get a good job... Was even contemplating self-harm.
i called his father back into the consultancy. Explained him that it was depression. Told him it was education-stress related. The young romeo did get a slight smile for a second (..sometimes a lie can help bring smiles...) Father dear was most cooperative in accepting the problem and going ahead with the treatment.
I knew he would respond with few sessions of counseling..But PAPA di great...wasnt intrested in counseling.Just wanted him back on the studies track earlier than possible. With a heavy heart had to start on non-sedative, non-addictive anti-depressants... Now lets wait and watch..as within 3weeks he should start showing the effects....
for the moment time to pack-up...and head straight into the weekend :)
common cold and mental health...a fusion of sorts.
11th october, 11:50am.
Common Cold! human kind's oldest and smartest enemy. No form of medicine, mordern or acient has been able to battle it. It takes its own sweet time to go, and leaves you with a sense of deja vu!
This morning, i woke up, with my immune system battling this enemy. After popping a green and a yellow pill, i felt my immune system will be booseted with the mind, soul and spirit of the brazilian soccer team, but sadly it kept feeling like an indian soccer player among a group of indian cricketers.
With my mind blocked!!! my head spining, my nose flowing ...and my body in lethargy mode...i took the great journey towards my clinic. The minister inside my mind wishing for a low profile day...While the financial minister shouting for a heavy day...how i hate capatilists in such moments.
After the ritualistic everyday opening...i sat on the coveted dr.hemant mittal's seat... God! today i was more like that patient number 11, standing in a line, waiting for his turn to get the holy cure...
10 mins later... Walks in this well dressed, well mannered gentleman... My finance minster happy...gets my mind-body ready... suddenly i can feel my body going uprite, all sources of energy being used to give move those 14 facial muscles for a smile, and that auric-sense of doctor.... opens the door... very nicely and coordialy asks me... "may i come in sir"
all doctorish type, with that sudden deep husky voice i say "yes, please come in..have a seat"
mr.gentleman goes on to say " dear doctor..."
by now my mind is already making all sorts of diagnosis...with latest economic situation he is pukka se depression or anxiety or stress related...poor chap...but the economy is geting hard on all of us....
contd. to mr.gentleman says " dear doctor, i am from IDBI Bank..we are offering you a special offer savings account offer"...
suddenly my mind feels the blow...the smile disappears, i go back sluging into my seat...
and tell him with a rude tone "sorry, i dont need ur offer...kindly close the door while leaving, thank you"..
so much effort for nothing.....
common cold and mental health... are really like a cocktail with too much of aerated drink and
lesser of punch!! :)
good day!!!
www.mindmantra.in
www.mindmantra.in
its a vision, an effort, a passion...
mental health is that sector of human health, which is most neglected, most taken for granted, and has most myths surrounding it.
thru my website, my blog, myself...i am on the crusade to change some of those misconceptions, those myths, to help people professionally.
come and join me in spreading this awareness.
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