27yr old Amit (name changed) walked into my clinic a few months ago.
Amit had a great track record which everyone would be proud of.
He had been a good student in school, qualified and passed out of one of the best Management Colleges in the country and got selected by a multi-national company which had him living a very comfortable life overseas.
There wasn't a single relative or friend who didn't praise him.
Then why did he come and visit a psychiatrist?
Since last 6months, he had started developing trouble sleeping. He would spend hours to fall asleep. The lack of proper sleep would affect his concentration at work and his performance was decreased.
His mind was always restless. He kept thinking...
What had happened that caused such a problem?
Compliments and Expectations.
Amit was always the best. He was always expected to be the best. He always did things perfectly. He was a perfectionist.
What others thought about him mattered a lot.
A few years ago, Amit met Sonia (name changed). They became great friends and finally got into a relationship.
They where having a very comfortable live-in relationship, till reality stuck Amit.
When Amit talked about her to his parents, he was suddenly faced with a lot of resistance.
His parents were not ready to accept he marrying someone from another country.
His father went on to say "you were the perfect kid, just to show us this day"
His inability to convince his parents became a problem with Sonia. She started getting restless, as she wanted to start a family.
This increased the fights they had and let negativity come in-between them.
When he spoke to his friends in India, they were super amazed by him. He was like some "demi-god" who had got everything they could desire. And to top it all, he was in a live-in relationship with a "firang".
They would just say - "your life is perfect. Forget the girl, you have had your fun. Get married to a good indian woman, who would serve you as you need to".
He suddenly found himself at a cross-road of life, trying to please so many people, but the only people who weren't happy where he and sonia.
His mind just wouldn't stop thinking for the perfect solution. Unfortunately that quest didn't come cheap. The restlessness cost him a lot of concentration at work, because of which his boss downgraded his rating and personally it brought so many emotional swings that he and Sonia decided to split.
GETTING COMPLIMENTS IS GREAT... BUT LIVING FOR COMPLIMENTS IS DANGEROUS
Dr.Hemant Mittal (Neuro-Psychiatrist, Motivational Speaker and Counselor)
email - firstname.lastname@example.org
website - www.mindmantra.in
address- 15, shreeji plaza, next to ice n spice restaurant, opposite seawoods station, seawoods (east)