Corporate Love Problems - One sided Love

One of the greatest needs of an individual is Understanding. One of the basis of love is Understanding.

When someone can understand you, there is a very high affinity to develop affection for him/her.
Within the corporate sector, this is one of the major psychological reasons to develop "love" for a friend or colleague.

Over the years I have met thousands of men and women who have fallen in love with a colleague.

In a great majority of cases this love in more one-sided. The mind links liking with images of love, caring, fights, future leading to high need for closeness and protectiveness. Since "love" is a movie being played in the mind, the body-brain get more and more irritated to make it a reality.

The tough part is trying to make it a reality. From fear of rejection to presence of a spouse there are hundreds of factors that make love one-sided.

How does one-sided love affect your mind and work?

1. Inability to express your feeling of love for someone lead to low self-esteem.

2. In cases of continuous refusal by the desired individual, leads to over-thinking an creation of an inferiority complex.

3. Over-thinking about failure to "complete" the love, leads to helplessness and worthlessness.

4. Negative emotions associated with it are -

a. lying, planning and plotting
b. jealousy
c. possessiveness
d. intense anger
e. lack of concentration - mind spends whole day thinking of possible ways to make this successful.
f. spending time and money on astrological consultations and/or black magic / tantra to gain the person.
g. high hope and being lost in an imaginary world.

5. continuous helplessness and rejection, triggers an ego-battle..
this creates excessive ANGER.
a. anger - irritation and anger at work and co-workers.
b. anger against family members/society
c. anger against the “desired individual”

What should be done?
1. realise that the mind is fixated on one individual.
2. fixation and restlessness is destroying your personality
3. accept that life is getting fixed at one point and you are not able to grow because of the minds fixation.
4. vent out your emotions-
a. openly express your love to the person and reaching a final decision
b. write a diary were you write your emotions
c. talking it out to a friend.

5. Giving yourself a pat on your back for having such love.
6. don't devalue or let anyone devalue you.
7. consulting a psychiatrist to help you vent out the emotions and break the thought wagon.

For any further help, don’t hesitate in asking me (all consultations are confidential)

written by -

Dr.Hemant Mittal (MBBS, DPM)
Psychiatrist, motivational speaker/writer and counselor

email –

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