"The modern day David vs Goliath"

Just reading some international news, I landed upon an very interesting and motivating piece. 4 Nigerian farmers today sued one of the biggest and strongest MNC's Shell for polluting their farms.

Shell in its typical corporate style has tried to keep the incident low.. But when you compare it with what is happening in India, you don't find much of difference.

I remember an episode from "Satyamev Jayate" where the speakers focused on Multinational companies contaminating our farm-lands with excessive use of pesticides. This makes the land unfertile and useless over a long period of time... but people never saw beyond the instant "money".

Walking through Malls in Mumbai, I get to see thousands of people who compromise on clothes, food or other consumer products that they might not be happy with.. but only a fraction of them complaints about it and demand change....
Others just "adjust" .. because they fear "fighting" against "big company".

A small incident that I experienced a few days ago. I was sitted next to a family, that was out for their "ritual" sunday dinner at the mall's food court. There younger kid, a 15-16yr old teenage boy, was given a 500 rupee note by the father and asked to get some burgers from the burger joint. The kid, jolly went and placed the order. He returned 15 minutes later, with a bunch of burgers and the remaining money.
The young chap seems to have not noticed that, one of the 50 rupee notes given to him was torn from the middle.

The father than asked the chap to use the remaining money and buy some "drinking water" from the nearby stall.
Within 5min, he came back smiling, asking for a replacement to the 50 rupee note.
The father told him to get the note changed from the "Burger joint". As it would be waste of money.
The kid suddenly got all anxious and started giving unwanted explanations to his father.
The father, took the 50 rupee note, and went to the burger joint. As he Asked for a replacement the employee on the counter said, that he didn't give that note.. and he couldn't accept a torn note.
This got the father angry and he raised his voice. For a minute the entire food court stopped to look at them.

The kid came running and got hold of his father, and took him away from there.
His face could tell me how embarassed he was feeling.. I could here how for the next 30min. he kept scolding his father for being rowdy.. and how insignificant is 50 rupees..
The mother joined his father-bashing chants and brought old instnaces when he had behaved the same..
and the daughter was trying her best to join them and at the same time hide her face... she continously taunted how today was the last time she was coming to this mall.. as now everyone would point at her... She prayed that no one she knew saw this so her "public" image is maintained.
The Father, just sat there grumpy and irritated.

I felt bad for the father, because he was fighting for what is right.. he was trying to teach his son the importance of every single rupee..
unfortunately he landed on the wrong foot.

People are loaded with fear... and when you go out to fight for your right they try to pull you back.. Their fear pulls you back..

But remember, if you are on the side of the right.. and even if you fight alone... keep fighting.. and even the greatest giants can be defeated.

After all David did defeat Goliath when everyone told him he couldn't

Your questions are most welcome at -

email - eksoch@gmail.com

For personal consultation, you can contact me at -

Dr.Hemant Mittal
(Neuro-Psychiatrist, Motivational Speaker and Counselor)
website - http://mindmantra.in/services.html
address- 15, shreeji plaza, next to ice n spice restaurant, opposite seawoods station, seawoods (east)
Navi Mumbai

My tryst with Hope

Few days ago I was invited by a Gynecologist friend of mine to have a cup of Tea at her clinic. She wanted to discuss some behavioral issues her teenage son was facing.

As driving through Mumbai is really a pain, on the planned day, I decided to couple a few things together. Things just happened faster than I planned and I reached her "infertility clinic", 2 hrs before the planned.

Not wanting to fight the "evening maddening traffic", I thought I would go into her clinic, have an early discussion and leave.
I entered her clinic and found that she was busy in the OT (operation theater), so would take around 1hr to meet me.
The wisest choice was to wait there and enjoy a good cup of tea.

Since by then her secretary knew I wasn't a "patient", the courtesy of waiting in the doctors private cabin with a spread of tea and biscuits was offered to me.

Something prompted me to decline that offer and sit in the waiting area.
There were 6 people... 3 patients and 3 people accompanying them.
I took a few minutes to settle down. Slowly my eyes glanced around.. I had eye-contact with all those seated there. It was amazing, each person's face and aura said a different story. Every persons body, sitting posture and way of talking said a different story... Above all every single person's eyes told a different story.
Among all those differences, there were 2 emotional threads that attached each and everyone of them... Sadness and Hope.

When you look into the eyes and experience the aura of a 30-35yr woman whose only desire is to be a mother, you not only feel... but experience pure sadness...
I remembered my days as a Gynecology intern.. the first time I helped deliver a baby I was so thrilled.. but the real happiness came when I saw the eyes of the mother who took her little bundle of joy in her hands and kissed him on the forehead.
Today sitting there, I could see 3 woman who every second were thinking when would they experience that moment.
The sadness of every single day passing by without that happiness being in the horizon, was killing them from inside. It was like walking into a dark heart, a heart that was struggling to let light be alive.

When you see into the eyes of a plus 35yr old man, whose eyes go moist on seeing small children, you know he is not ready but desperate to experience the bliss of fatherhood.. but destiny is testing his patience drastically.

When you see such pain in their hearts and their minds, you know that its the same pain mentioned within the holy epic of Ramayan, that King Dashrath and his wives experienced.. And that's why every child should be a Ram and Laxman to his parents.

The eyes of a mother who is sitting with her daughter show sadness and helplessness. Having taken care of her daughter and provided her with all.. Suddenly here there is something the mother has no explanation or answer for. She wants to be a grand-mother, but first of all she wants to be a mother who takes care of her children.

I frankly felt like utilizing my waiting time, and help all of them battle this great negative of stress and sadness that was growing like a cancer in their emotional mind.. Unfortunately laws prevent me from trying to change every incidence of sadness I come across.

The flip side of the coin... was the great learning I took from all of them.. It was the power of Hope.

Amulets, Rings, tabeez, big files full of tests and documents.. were just a small physical example of the hope they carried deep in their eyes and their hearts.
Hope is one of the most amazing emotions humans have. The power of belief can actually move "psychological mountains".
It's also one of the greatest weapons that the angel of positivity has against its counter-part negativity.

It was over-powering to feel how those ladies and gentleman wake up every morning with a hope that today we will get a "good news"...
All of them had visited astrologers, alternate healers, "counselors", multiple gynecologists .. every time empowered with hope.. that this time it will "work out".

I have met and treated people who have got into depression because one exam went wrong or one job was lost... but imagine the plight of those couples who every time write the "exam of life" when they seek help of an astrologer, alternate healer, gynecologist or counselor... and every time the result is negative... multiple failures can even destroy the strongest of hopes...But there in front of me were 6 people who sat there with a lot of hope...

I thanked the psychological energy in the universe for giving me this opportunity to be touched by the amazing strength of their Hope.
Its not everyday that you get to experience an elixir that  re-vitalizes you and makes you more humane.
I picked one of the newspapers lying on the central table... and just before disconnecting into the world of the newspaper...
I gave a small smile to myself and the universal energy around me.

HOPE IS A VERY POWERFUL EMOTION... DON'T EVER BREAK SOMEONES HOPE.. DON'T EVER PLAY WITH SOMEONES HOPE.. RESPECT AND HELP CHANNELIZE SOMEONE'S HOPE SO THAT THEY CAN COME OUT OF THE SADNESS AND STRESS THAT ENGULFS THEM.
SPREAD LOVE AND LOVE WILL SPREAD ALL OVER YOU.

Your questions are most welcome at -

email - eksoch@gmail.com

For personal consultation, you can contact me at -

Dr.Hemant Mittal
(Neuro-Psychiatrist, Motivational Speaker and Counselor)

website - http://mindmantra.in/services.html
address- 15, shreeji plaza, next to ice n spice restaurant, opposite seawoods station, seawoods (east)
Navi Mumbai

Masturbation Addiction - A very common problem in young and adult?

Statistics say 95% men and 87% women indulge in this activity at least once in their life…between age of 15-28yrs upto 30% get addicted to it… ironically an activity that gives instant pleasure is also one thats vastly misunderstood… Masturbation Addiction


1. What is Masturbation?

Masturbation is the self-stimulation of genitalia or sexual organs to achieve the height of sexual pleasure or orgasm.


2. Is it holy or unholy?

All religions call this an “unholy” behavior patter. Irrespective of it, everyone rich or poor, educated or uneducated, men or women, religious or atheist will try it more than once in their life.
Religions unfortunately end up creating irrational and stupid myths, fear and negative emotions related to it, which confuse an individual… It creates an undue fear that pushes one towards the addiction.
Religions should use scientific knowledge to bring control onto addictions.

Myths like masturbation leads to weakness, decrease in bone density or can cause impotence are completely baseless and proven wrong by hundreds of professional medical studies.

Medically, when performed in a controlled and periodic way, its a very healthy process. It helps to release psychologically stored sexual feelings that are very intrusive and havoc causing inside an individuals mind. This even prevents thoughts of rape or sexual assault and cheating on their spouses from developing.

Like stagnant water, which when kept for many days becomes stale and putrid. Sperms stored inside the testis for long term decrease the fertile nature of the sexual organs. Hence masturbation provides a great mean to release the old and help in development of new.

3. What is Masturbation Addiction?

There is no standard definition for over-masturbation or excessive masturbation. Every individual is endowed with a specific reproductive power.
Masturbation is considered healthy of releasing sexual feelings until it starts hampering your daily life.
When masturbation becomes a habit, it’s performed once every few days. This is a healthy process. But when the thoughts, images and need of masturbation starts to haunt an individual emotionally and psychologically it starts to become an addiction.
Like any other addiction, masturbation addiction once it sets in, leads to lot of physical and emotional complaints.

4. What are the symptoms of Masturbation Addiction?
You are most likely to be suffering from a Masturbation Addiction problem if you have 7
or more of the next 10 symptoms.

1. Performed on daily or for most of the days of a week
2. Masturbation is immediately or next day followed by excessive guilt and sadness.
3. Constant unsuccessful attempts to stop the habit.
4. Even minor Sexual stimulation compels you to indulge in the act. If not done, extreme restlessness, anger or irritation is experience.
5. Productive or working hours of the day are spent thinking about it..
6. Decrease in concentration levels as mind is occupied with stress related to the same.
7. Once the urge to perform is triggered, one doesnt think about the time, place or person he/she is with. He/she just looks for means to perform the act.
8. New and More explicit sexually material is searched and needed for arousal. As older or softer sexual material doesn’t give the same sexually arousing effect.
9. Decreased social interaction specially with opposite gender members, because of the fear of sexually arousing negative thoughts or decreased sexual-confidence.
10. Sleep and appetite disturbance are seen due to the stress levels.
5. What are the harmful effects?
It can lead to behavioral, psychological and sexual effects as:
a. Masturbation in public places
b. Reliance on masturbation as the only way of sexual gratification.
c. Harm or injuries to the genitals.
e. Decreased sexual performance with partner. As masturbation is sought to be only way of satisfaction.
f. Inability to perform action or guilt of performing the same leads to continuous irritability and anger due to the high stress and anxiety levels.
g. Decreased concentration in daily activity as mind is preoccupied with thoughts of the same


6. How to treat it?
You cannot treat it on your own.
Will power is great method to control the desires.. but it leads to irritation and eventually "excess" indulgence in the activity.
The most important thing to battle is the withdrawal effects associated with the disorder.

Its most important to seek help from a sexologist, psychiatrist or counselor in your area.


Your suggestions and queries are most welcome at -

email - eksoch@gmail.com

regards,

Dr.Hemant Mittal
(Neuro-Psychiatrist, Motivational Speaker, Counselor and Sexual Health Consultant)
website - http://mindmantra.in/services.html
address- 15, shreeji plaza, next to ice n spice restaurant, opposite seawoods station, seawoods (east)
Navi Mumbai

The Godman Effect

"A guru" is supposed to be a light, someone who guides you out of the darkness and fear.

Master Manipulators are brains who understand this.. and take advantage of the fear in your heart.

Professionally and Personally I have met hundreds of them... One guy always portrayed himself as a beacon of love... He targeted women in distress. Would get into their lives.. Show them big dreams of multiple carores..
Since he gave words to their fear, they taught he is the only one who can understand them.
He would teach them small things like operating the computer or motivate them to speak their voice out...which they would feel in-debited for.
He created a false delusion that they where "super-humans"... and "humans" were a sub-species of people, who were loaded with negativity.
These women would become emotionally and physically dependent on him... Once such an dependency was created, he would never let them go away, he would always come into their life... So every rational thought was destroyed, before it could be generated.
He never gave them time to think on their own.. As he made his presence felt all the time.
He would say we are in an "open relationship".. "we love each other unconditionally".. "we are just two souls touching each other and moving towards the light".
The women would become such big disciples, that they would leave their family and spend the entire day and night just taking care of him.
The same way the brain is effected by cocaine.. these women would feel the need of the euphoria of being next to him.. The euphoria of serving him.
They wouldn't care if their spouses left them, if their family was ill, if they themselves were destroying their beauty and health.
Just the "beauty" of his talk.. and his presence made them mad!!!

Like an emotional and sexual predator this person would move from one woman to other.. and only then would the previous one understand the pain she been subjected to.
Unfortunately by that time, she had caused huge damage to her personal and professional self.

Same is the psychology that godman use to manipulate and hypnotize one's brain.
When you are sad or restless, you are the most vulnerable, and then they speak out those words which you are fearful of uttering... They show a path to salvation.. In return, they ask for complete dependency... They don't let you grow, they just grow onto yourself.

A few steps to battle a manipulator...
a. Withdrawal effect - the manipulator effect is like a drug.. he/she is present in front of your mind all the time... When you leave him/her.. the first 20 days are horrendous..
Like a cocaine, you feel anger, guilt, depression and the need to run back to him.. The more you run back to him, the more your dependency.

Always have a withdrawal period.


b. Moral and Social Rule - anyone who asks you to break the barriers of morality that you believe in, means that he/she is trying to become to intimate with you.
Be careful.

c. The question trap - Most manipulators know how to use words.. They never answer a question directly.. In most cases the answer a question with a question.
The question puts you into the back-foot.

d. The sympathy trap - Most manipulators will always pose their sad stories. They will show as if they are "valiantly" battling it on their own. But will the "victims" shoulder to cry upon once a while.
The victim will feel, he is such a enlightened person, and still needs my help.. I have so much positivity and power inside of me.
Victims don't realize its a trap to make them feel "powerful" and increase dependency.

e. USE ME - the manipulators are able to decrease their ego levels to such a way, that you feel that you are USING THEM to create PROSPERITY for yourself.. Unfortunately with each interaction they become more and more dominant on your thought process.

f. Hidden Past - most manipulators have a very shaddy past, which they try to cover up by finding faults in other. Typical dialogues like
"The basis of any relationship is trust... and trust is in the mind.. my wife never understood that"..
(unfortunately the "hypnotized" person feels this is right.. when actually trust as an emotion has to be expressed both mentally and physically")

"I was trying to help that girl come out of her problems... I was doing it for her.. Just because she was so sexually starved I had to have sex with her, so that her body and brain doesn't go wild"
( the hypnotized feels he is right.. when actually a male can have sexual intercourse only when he is willing to have, elsewise there will be no proper erection)

" I am here only to help you, then I will move away from your life"
(the hypnotized feels this person is so dedicated to me.. with so much love.. when actually he is subconsciously telling you, I will make you so dependent that you will always need my help"

THE ONLY WAY TO BREAK THE NET OF A MANIPULATOR IS BY COMPLETELY MOVING OUT OF HIS/HER CLOSENESS.

THE WAY TO JUDGE IF SOMEONE IS A MANIPULATOR IS BY STOPPING ALL COMMUNICATION HIM/HER FOR 21 DAYS AND SEEING HOW THEY BECOME RESTLESS... CONTROL YOUR OWN RESTLESSNESS DURING THAT TIME... LET THE MIND RATIONALIZE.. THINK WHAT YOU ARE SACRIFICING AND WHAT YOU ARE GAINING... FIRST FEW DAYS YOU MIGHT FEEL YOU ARE GAINING TO MUCH.. BUT YOU END UP SACRIFICING TOO TOO MUCH.

Your suggestions and queries are most welcome at -

email - eksoch@gmail.com

regards,

Dr.Hemant Mittal
(Neuro-Psychiatrist, Motivational Speaker and Counselor)
website - http://mindmantra.in/services.html
address- 15, shreeji plaza, next to ice n spice restaurant, opposite seawoods station, seawoods (east)
Navi Mumbai

Beware of Manipulators

A manipulator enters your life very slowly.. He always shows you the bright and positive sides.. He always shows larger than life goals and success... Slowly slowly he makes you so dependent on him that you cannot imagine your life without him... A point comes were you even think you are in "love" with him... Without saying anything negative, you start thinking his way.. you speak his language.. you hurt those who are close to you... You think only he is right... You distance yourself from everyone... and slowly a point comes when you are just thinking about him.. just wandering around him... Then one day it suddenly hits you... you realize what a leech he is.. unfortunately by that time you have been severely hurt either emotionally, physically and/or financially... - Beware of Manipulators!!

They have no remorse for their actions.. And till you speak their language.. you feel that their actions are all justified and right according to morals.. They are masters at brain washing you!!!
-
Dr.Hemant Mittal (Neuro-Psychiatrist and Counselor)
email - eksoch@gmail.com

I don't judge.. but you need to...

YOU NEED TO STOP BEING KIDISH!!!
YOU NEED TO MAKE MORE MONEY!!!
YOU NEED TO ADJUST MORE!!!
YOU NEED TO BE LESS ANGRY!!!
YOU NEED TO BE MORE FOCUSED IN LIFE!!
YOU NEED TO..
YOU NEED TO..
YOU NEED TO..

"Everyone seems to have a clear idea of how other people should lead their lives, but none about his or her own."

It's amazing how many people I met at personal and professional level, who carry the false illusion "we don't judge.. we are neutral"...  but are the first to bring out the "you need to..." sentence.!!!

Everyone judges in some way or the other... even God judges you!!!

STOP BEING SELFISH... next time you use the sentence "YOU NEED TO.." .. look into your own self and remember, there are millions of flaws that you also carry...
suggesting a change is different from forcing a change!!!
suggesting a change is different from joking about someone!!!

I once met a manipulator... he would portray as if he is out to save the world... but he had an opinion about everyone... he would just disguise the opinion in "flowery" english... the dumb around him would adore him.. and the intelligent would understand his game plan.

Learn to be true to yourself.. Be open to change... and be 2 feet way from those who judge you.. because under the disguise of "wishing well for you".. they will try control your happiness as per their wishes.

Dr.Hemant  Mittal (Neuro-Psychiatrist and Counselor)
email - eksoch@gmail.com

A simple Psychometric test to find your level of self-satisfaction, the functioning of your sub-conscious mind and the effect of negativity on the brain functioning.

A simple Psychometric test to find your level of self-satisfaction, the functioning of your sub-conscious mind and the effect of negativity on the brain functioning.

Answer in Yes/No

1. Are you Dis-satisfied with how your current life is going?
2. Have you lost interest in your daily activities and hobbies?
3. Do you feel that your life is empty?
4. Do you often get bored?
5. Are you sad for most of the time?
6. Are you afraid that something bad is going to happen to you?
7. Do you often feel nobody can help you out from this situation?
8. You don't intermingle with people out of the fear of being judged negatively?
9. Recently have you experience any problems with remembering things?
10. Have you experienced difficulty getting a perfect sleep?
11. Do you think of running away to some distant place or committing suicide?
12. is your first reaction to any topic negative and pessimistic?
13. Do you feel hopeless about your situation?
14. Do you secretly in your mind, compare yourself to friends/famiy and/or unknown people?
15. Do you feel lazy and lethargic for most of the day?

Give yourself 1 point for every Yes

Below 7 Yes - You are doing great, your subconscious mind and brain are functioning fine, just need to fine tune some issues in your life.

Between 7-11 - your subconscious mind is more active than normal. its slowly slowly letting negativity come in.
You need to start changing the negative attitude.
Positive re-inforcements,
positive motivation and counseling
positive self-image development

will help your mind and brain take you out of this stage.


11 or above - Consult a neuro-psychiatrist in your area.
Your subconscious mind is flooded with negativity and restlessness.
Your brain is producting more negative chemicals than positive chemicals. Leading to a viscious cycle of more and more negativity.
You need to break this cycle.
- professional counseling
- your neuro-psychiatrist will check you for hidden BP, Diabetes, headaches, pain, skin rashes, decreased immunity.
- according treatment will be given to take care of psychosomatic illness, emotional burden and behavioral complains.


Your suggestions and queries are most welcome at -

email - eksoch@gmail.com

regards,

Dr.Hemant Mittal
(Neuro-Psychiatrist, Motivational Speaker and Counselor)
website - http://mindmantra.in/services.html
address- 15, shreeji plaza, next to ice n spice restaurant, opposite seawoods station, seawoods (east)
Navi Mumbai

Office Dating

Office Dating - the good and bads

“Maya (name changed) 30yr married old working lady... She was dating her boss... soon it turned into a serious relationship..now she is struggling to find her peace”

“Rohit (name changed) a 35yr married corporate guy, was addicted to emotional and physical intimacy with a female co-worker, 10yrs younger to him. He had no guilt about his actions, but fellow employees used it as weapon agains his work performance ratings."

“Shilpa(name changed) 29yr old single lady, used every tactic in the book to move up the corporate ladder. Somewhere in between, one of the board members became obssessed with her. She always got " career-oriented favors" in return of her physical proximity with this particular man. When she really fell in love with someone, this obsessed lover decided to destroy her career. In turn he burnt both of them, and she was fired for her "bad influence".

These are real cases of office dating gone bad and people needing my help to overcome the emotional troubles caused.... These are not BAD PEOPLE...The society is no longer changing. It has CHANGED…

Its nor longer models, bollywood actors who are "adjusting" and "doing to sexual favors" for a "beneficial career moves"... The same rituals are happening in every single industry.

Unlike 30years ago.. Urban India is now a society driven more by needs than morals.. Needs range from emotional, professional, personal, financial to sexual.

Since now people are connected to their work and workplace 24×7. The workplace and its inhabitants become the single most important macro-environment system one interacts within.
It also becomes the prime place for satisfaction of emotional, professional, financial and sexual needs.

Office Dating or Office relationships are no longer a taboo, but one of the most popular trends in modern day corporate culture.

Is Office Dating good or bad?
Office Dating is like Bungie jumping. You will always feel nervous before jumping, once you take the plunge you will feel euphoric, and once it’s over you analyze if it was worth it or not...

Being in a relationship is blissful. But the purpose of the same has to be really well demarcated... And being in a relationship has to be according to one's personality.

If I get to analyse and opine from the hundreds of Office Romance related queries I have counselled, the 5 main issues to be careful about an Office romance are:

1.  NEVER DATE the Boss –
99 out of 100 of such cases end up in a major disaster.
Unfortunately in every single of those 99 cases, the involved initially felt they could manage it out and nothing would happen to them.

Everyone things they are different from the rest, and everyone feels they are more “mature”… unfortunately these factors don’t matter in such a relationship.

Power-struggle, jealous co-workers and favouritism tags are factors brought in by others at the least expected time and places.

If you are in such a relationship or are planning to get into one, I have to sadly inform you that odds are against you.

The end of the tunnel is stuffed with either heartbrake, suffering professional humiliation or being stuck by personal guilt.

It’s a time bomb… and the clock is ticking… Click Click Click…


2. Gossips are BUSH FIRES –
Ask an American fire-man what is his worst nightmare and he wouldn’t hesitate to answer “a bush fire”.

Bush fires start by burning of small and insignificant bushes, and even before you have realized it, the entire forest with every living and non-living inside it is charred to ashes.
Gossips are bush fires in workspaces.

common tagline -
“I never told anyone about our relationship. I just don’t know how people came to know”.

While you mouth might be sealed, the mind-body complex creates an aura and sends such signals around that everyone subconsciously perceives you are attracted to someone nearby.
If you feel no one will notice and gossip about those sudden eye glances, that secretive smile, sudden exchange of sms or even that “casual talk” in a group… you  are too cooking the perfect recipe for destruction..


3. The  Communication Trap-
“Love-birds” are in constant need to be in touch with each other.
Most “love birds” feel that Cell Phones, Internet and Social Media are the biggest boon for them… But is it really a boon?

“With every form of power, comes great responsibility”… Such communication devices are extremely powerful and require extreme responsibility. Sadly no one can be 100% responsible when in love. love makes you lose sense of surrounding.
The more you communicate through these media, the higher chance of committing a mistake and being caught.

I have had many cases were a gentleman or a lady forgot to delete some ms, delete the call details, forget to close the facebook page or forgetting to delete that not so official email… this eventually can lead to extreme problems at both work place and at home.
Specially for married people having an affair.


4.Expectations and Favouritism-
How many times have I heard - “We started talking on common topics. Then he started helping me in my reports. Once we got in a relationship he changed. He should have understood me more. But instead he would never help me as much as he did before. He was just interested in sex and I was actually in love with him??? "

A relationship is the easiest way to develop expectations and favouritisms.

Favors and expectations to your new "loved one" is blessed, until your co-workers and superiors start questioning it.
Remember an office environment is like a jungle… and only the fittest survive… no matter how good you are, someone is out there to get your job…


5. Personality and Productivity-
Love is the most beautiful feeling anyone can experience. In psychiatric medicine, its been proved how the brain produces loads and loads of “happy" chemical when you are in "love".

The two main reasons for Office dating is - emotional support or sex.

It all depends on a persons personality.
For sensitive and emotional men and women, getting into an office romance might be a case for emotional support.. the closeness and support of a co-woker can enhance your work productivity 1000 times.

For practical career oriented men and women, and office romance is just about sex.  Its a trade of "favors" which helps each partner get what they want.

Both these personalities are right in their view-points.

The problem happens when they try to over-lap or cross over to the other side.

A sensitive individual trying to be in a relationship just for "Sex".. or a career oriented person, leaving aside his/her desires to succeed and get fame for "love" with an office worker... most of the times lands up as a disaster.

THE SOCIETY HAS CHANGED.. AND OUR ATTITUDES HAVE CHANGED... ONE SHOULD DO WHAT ONE'S HEART ALLOWS....
DON'T TRY AND GO AGAINST YOUR PERSONALITY TOO MUCH IF YOU DON'T HAVE THE DETERMINATION TO STAND UP AND OWE TO YOUR ACTIONS.

Your suggestions and queries are most welcome at -

email - eksoch@gmail.com

regards,

Dr.Hemant Mittal
(Neuro-Psychiatrist, Motivational Speaker and Counselor)
website - http://mindmantra.in/services.html
address- 15, shreeji plaza, next to ice n spice restaurant, opposite seawoods station, seawoods (east)
Navi Mumbai

Awaken your Third Eye?

The Third Eye is directly related to the 6th chakra — the psychic chakra, located on the middle of the forehead above the brows.

Awakening the Third Eye is said to provide a lot of psychic powers.

As a psychiatrist, my research has found that there is a certain amount of truth between "awakening the third eye" and "modern day science".

French Philosopher Rene Descartes believed the pineal gland to be “the seat of the soul” where mind and body met.
The pineal gland is dormant in most people, as is the true Third Eye.

The meditation practices required to "awaken the third eye" are extremely beneficial to the human mind - body.
Meditation is the first step in awakening the third eye.

the easiest way of such meditation mentioned in various ancient texts requires you to -

Sit upright in a chair, or in a comfortable cross-legged position on a sofa or, on a cushion on the floor.

Loosen your shoulders.

Relax your neck muscles by doing half head circles.

Close your eyes.

Focus attention at the point between your eyebrows... try to maintain attention for 3-5 minutes each.

While focusing continously is impossible for many, the best way to do it, is by following the following check list in the order mentioned -

1) Enjoy yourself - feel positive about your position and your body.

2) the first barrier would be the sensations that will come from the external environment.
most people fail at this stage, as they get irritated.
its important to accept all these sensations and as you continuously practice will be able to assimilate them within yourself.

3) The next experience will be the sensations arising in the body. Tickling or numbness sensations.

4) Then Feel the thoughts and emotions arising in your mind. Initially there is a tsunami of the same. As you work harder, the stronger you become.

5) Memories and impressions bubble up from the Subconscious.

6) You have to feel the positivity arising inside of you... Slowly with time all these emotions, thoughts, memories and impressions will be taken into the positive fire inside you.

7) Enjoy these negativity burning and your positive self manifesting itself.

8) let the light or fire of positivity start emitting from the position of the third eye.. and enlight your entire being.


The Psychiatric medicinal benefits of this meditation -
a. helps to battle restlessness and depression
b. helps control the thought process
c. makes you more aware of the surroundings. making you more conscious and rapid in what words to use and what actions to do.
d. increases memory and concentration power by many fold.
e. increases self-confidence and radiates the same to people around.
f. brings change in your aura, making you more power, more attractive and more receptive to people

Your suggestions and queries are most welcome at -

email - eksoch@gmail.com

regards,

Dr.Hemant Mittal
(Neuro-Psychiatrist, Motivational Speaker and Counselor)
website - http://mindmantra.in/services.html
address- 15, shreeji plaza, next to ice n spice restaurant, opposite seawoods station, seawoods (east)
Navi Mumbai

Are you too busy to Love?

Since ages Men have been blamed for being too busy with work, and not able to dedicate time to their family life.
Well times are changing....Over the last few years at my clinic I have seen a multiple-fold increase in the number of woman who are addicted to their work and concerned about getting into or maintaining a long-term committed relationship.

"Workaholics" as everyone calls them, are no longer gender specific.
In a recent trip to a couple of metro cities, I got a chance to further explore this rising phenomenon among working urban Indian ladies.

If you are a woman who spends majority of time with her work and doesn't get enough time for a long-term committed relationship, you are not alone.

As a psychiatrist, some very interesting behavior patterns which have come under my observation -

1. Office Romance -
Many women get into a relationship with a colleague or a client, because they understand and accept their work schedule.
It gives them great chance to balance both work and emotions.
The only side-effect is that these "Mr.Rights" have a great chance of turning out to be "mr. pain in the arse".

At the clinic I have counseled many married ladies, who have found "true love" in someone from their office. Only to later realize a "good friend" is not a "good partner". This realizations many a times come only after their marriage reaches point of no-return.

Similarly I have had chance to meet a lot of ladies, who got into a relationship with their client or colleague.. only to find out "after marriage" that the guy had different expectations from a "partner"... That the guy wanted adjustments where the lady would not only do her work but also house-hold work.

This leads to conflicts in interests.


2. Online Dating / Online Marriage portals-
Many "workaholic" ladies who feel a void or need for "love" or "companionship" in their life, look at Social networking sites, online dating sites or online marriage for solution.
It's an amazing way of balancing life and work, as most of the interaction can be controlled through a laptop, cell phone or ipad.

Using the "task-oriented" logic for finding a partner has a minor negative side. Most people lie online, and secondly "love" is not a rational emotion. It's a very impulsive and very expressive one.  Falling in love with "online" persona can be like falling in love with a movie character.


3. Include "time for love and romance" as part of your schedule.
Be it an ICU doctors, gynecologists, interns, CEO's, Senior level executives or Junior Trainees, even the busiest women can find "time for love".
If time forbids you from going to a fancy restaurant or on big vacations, why don't break the idea of fun.. And spend some quality time taking a walk or eating a burger or just while driving towards work.

STOP MAKING EXCUSES!!!

One of the most romantic persons I know, blossomed her romance while talking on the phone while getting out of work, meeting in trains while returning back home, sharing "wada-pav" and "idli-sambhar" at the tea-stalls outside train stations.



4. Sensitize yourself and your partner about Plans.
Many women are unable to sustain their relationships because their demanding schedules can often lead to last minute cancellations on plans.
Although this happening on occasion would be understood by any supportive partner, but a constantly repetitive pattern creates negativity, anxiety and anger.

While most "independent" women hate to give explanations.. and expect their partners to understand... Its sad but the same doesn't happen.

I have counseled many ladies who would say "he should have understood I am working".. but actually its just being too rigid.

If you are unsure about dates and time, don't make a plan... Be more authentic in your approach to get those plans completed.


5. Prioritize your partner
Sometimes work becomes so important that your partner (husband or boyfriend) is taken for granted.
Nobody likes to be taken for granted.. and specially male egos are very fragile.

I have met hundreds of women who do this cardinal mistake and land up destroying a beautiful relationship.

If you planned a movie with your partner, but suddenly your work-mates are making a plan for the same.. you might land up hurting his feelings just because you expect him to understand.
If you planned to go for lunch on sunday, but you spent whole night saturday at a "party" at work... your partner would not appreciate being second fiddle always.

In relationships balance of love has to be shown both emotionally and physically.

I have met hundreds of cases of "broken relationships" whereby "friendship" with a male colleague made the male-partner feel unwanted and he just moved out of the relationship.
While the female kept wondering - "why this happened"


YOU CAN SPEND THE ENTIRE LIFE TRYING TO CREATE SOME RESOURCE... BUT WHAT USE IS THAT RESOURCE IF YOU ARE FEELING LONELY.


Your suggestions and queries are most welcomed at -

email - eksoch@gmail.com

regards,

Dr.Hemant Mittal
(Neuro-Psychiatrist, Motivational Speaker and Counselor)
website - http://mindmantra.in/services.html
address- 15, shreeji plaza, next to ice n spice restaurant, opposite seawoods station, seawoods (east)
Navi Mumbai