Is technology killing your relationship

 Is technology killing your relationship

Communication devices were supposed to help people stay connected. However it seems that one is disconnecting with his closest ones.

Not many years ago, couples would go the extra mile to communicate. Talking face to face was essential. Men would drive half way through the city to meet their loved ones, married couples would make sure the evening meal wasn't just watching the TV but talking about the day. Problems were discussed together, and physical presence gave re-assurance that any problem would be faced together.

Technology was supposed to ease this process... Did it happen? NO!
Blackberry messenger, Whatsapp, facebook are silently killing relationships.

In the last few years, have counseled many men and women who have complained "feeling alone, even when in a committed relationship".
On inquiry, I found that either them or their partner seemed to be "married to the smartphone".

Such is their involvement with the smartphone, that couples are turning away from conversing with each other and are seeking company in their latest gadget and gizmo. Conversation with a partner is slowly dying out, people feel more expressive to communicate through a whatsapp/blackberry message rather than face to face conversation.

Going out, watching a movie, having dinner, even while sharing a romantic moment, the "tring tring" sound of a new text/sms or blinking red light of a new BBM, are taking their attention away from the moment.
Decreased spans of attention automatically kill the emotional involvement within the moment.
When two people stop "effective communication".. This in turn decreases the love, affection and bond between them... There relationship become fragile... and can be easily broken by a third person.

A new survey, I read about in a national newspaper, suggest that -
a. About 80% of smartphone users avoid conversations as they are busy on their phone or laptop at the lunch/dinner table.

b. About 76% smartphone using couples also revealed that silence envelopes the space between them in bed as they sit around surfing the net using their phone or laptops,without saying a word.

c. Around 80% of people said they hate being interrupted when on their phone or laptop.

d. People have become so obsessed with having a virtual presence that very few make it a point to socialize in the real world.  This is evident through the rampant multiple conversations happening through messenger services simultaneous.
Though one feels these are satisfying for the self, they are actually destroying your involvement with the real world and taking you away from the issues that really matter.

e. 98% people who are involved in this obsessive behavior will deny it. And say "we can leave our smartphones any time"

We cannot leave technology aside, but becoming an emotional slave of a screen is the most stupid thing you can do.

Nothing can replace face to face interaction.

What you should do?

1. Log off - Learn to Log off...  Everyday for 3-5hrs of your awake time, make sure your BBM/Whatsapp/Facebook is turned off.

2. Plan time with your partner.
If you partner is completely obsessed with his/her mobile device, make sure you spend few hours with him/her where the device is left aside.

3. No phones should be allowed while having lunch/dinner.

4. Avoid browsing the net on your phone or laptop while having a conversation with your partner as its disrespectful.

Remember the first few times you will do this, your partner will get irritable and angry. But don't hesitate from continuing your efforts.

5. if you partner is completely obsessed the smartphone, make sure you get him/her to visit a counselor/psychiatrist, before he/she land into an online extra-marital relationship which destroys your relationship.

For further assistance on this topic, you can CONTACT ME (all conversations are kept CONFIDENTIAL) -

Dr.Hemant Mittal
(Neuro-Psychiatrist, Mental Health and Sexual Health Healer,
Motivational Writer/Speaker and Counselor)

email -
website -

or visit my wellness clinic @-
address- 15, shreeji plaza, next to ice n spice restaurant, opposite seawoods station, seawoods (east)
Navi Mumbai

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