Appraisals - Its THE WAR not just another battle!!

One of the most successful “carrot and stick” approaches in the corporate world is the “magic trick” of “Appraisals”.

Appraisals can be compared to the “exams results” in school. Majority of student wait anxiously for the results… There are so many expectations, so many ideas and so much energy invested in the same. Similarly, every “corporate resource” looks towards appraisal season full of anxiety. There are dreams, desires and needs that are directly or indirectly attached to the “appraisal” performance.

Every Year I get hundreds of people emailing me or coming to my clinic for counseling.. due to the high anxiety and depression caused by “poor appraisal” performance.

Helplessness, unjustice, unfairness, lack of support... evil boss... anger... guilt of being stuck in the job... are some of the emotions that dominate their mind...
These create a lot of negativity.. which comes out as irritation and fights at home... scolding children and parents for no reason..
criticizing for no reason...
lack of sexual desires..


 Here are few points one can use to be more in control of the appraisal:

1. YOU vs YOUR BOSS!
Till you boss doesn’t adore you. Or you ain't related to someone in the senior management, your BOSS will always be EVIL.

There are NO GOOD bossess.. you are always JUST THE BOSS.

The first point to understand is that NO COMPANY wants to PAY MORE.. specially when they can use "flowery" language to manipulate your psyche.. and make you feel guilty for "below par performance"

The BOSS or the HR heads are designated to create this guilt in you..

I have met people from both sides... sometimes BOSS or HR heads mix their own personal EGO's with the flowery language to create a deadly cocktail of "corporate insults"... this eventually is aimed at breaking his/her confidence and desires.


2. Are you Ready?
Now that you understand that appraisal is a battle between you and you… how prepared are you when you go for an appraisal meeting.
This is where planning helps.

I met hundreds of employees who walked into an appraisal meeting unprepared, and came out feeling like "idiots".

It pays to be prepared...
Make sure you spend a sunday or a weekday, to gather every single email,
gather good notes about yourself,
try to have documentation proof of your extra hours in work.. every single extra efforts you have put forwards.
gather recommendations from clients...
gather every single detail that can help you..

ITS A BATTLE... BE WELL PREPARED.


3. UPDATE YOUR KNOWLEDGE

Do you know your organizations “key performance indicators”.. If NO, its great time to read them. Make sure you make notes.
Many deadline based jobs require more last minute effort.. Make sure every minute of your effort is counted.
Don’t let them portray you as a “lazy bum walking in the park”.


4.Questions and Answers
Most appraisal meetings are a charged-up emotions releasing exercise where the boss keeps bombing the employee with questions, and the employee just keeps trying to save his grace.

Be ready with numbers, fact and set of planned questions you would like to ask back. This will give a great impression of you being an “organized” and “valuable” resource for their team.


5. Work Matters
Many of you are always looking for a short cut to success… I am sorry to say, the only way to success is hard work and proper networking.

Always try to keep your performance high.

If you are having emotional, relationships, family, memory or concentration problems its better to solve them by seeking professional help. Because when you use them as excuse to justify the decline in performance, your leave a very negative impression about yourself.

If you play it SMART.. not only can you get a good Appraisal.. but also change their Attitude towards you.


Dr.Hemant Mittal (Neuro-Psychiatrist, Motivational Speaker and Counselor)
email - eksoch@gmail.com
website - www.mindmantra.in

Clinic - 15, shreeji plaza, opposite seawoods station east, seawoods, navi mumbai

The Evil inside of Men

Once a guru taught me - "Every human being is a part of god... Look in others for the same god thats present inside of you".

I asked him, what about those people who harm others... Is god present in them also.

He laughed and said... "yes.. he is... but those people have chosen the path of evil".

I was perplexed... "kindly explain?"

"Ravan had god inside of him.. but his intellect and mind chose the path of evil... Kansa had god inside of him but he did the same... so they had to be destroyed??"

I was further perplexed and I asked... "can we talk about someone real everyday examples?"

He laughed further and said... "yes... manipulators... they are amazing in what you people call mind games..
they use their intellect and mind to create an aura.. that eventually causes more destruction"...

I wanted to hear more.. so I said, -  "kindly explain"

He said - "People investing their money in big schemes that fail...
People talking about achieving great riches but never making enough money to satisfy their own needs..
People who talk about giving great love, but aren't good enough to have a stable relationship in their life.. They aren't loyal enough to their own..."


Remember my young apprentice... - "A manipulator is a master mind, who uses his mind and intellect to over-come your power of thinking"..

"He always tries to behave as a messiah, as a protector, as your best friend, as your lover.. as someone who will always stand by you..

The Manipulator is one who is full of false goodness... Always thinking  good about those "close" to him...Behaving like a social renegade.. and talking about his powers to make things happen..."

"Just like that big scoop of ice-cream that seems so beautiful, tasty and nice... it appeals to all your senses..
and because you are just interested in satisfying those senses.. you forget how it can destroy your teeth.. your gastric system.. and increase your blood sugar level".

If you get addicted to that ice-cream.. and keep having it daiy for a long period of time.. it will cause diabetes!!!

By this time, you will say... I should have had less ice-cream...

What's the fault of the ice-cream..  i didn't take the right decision.. I ate too much of it.

A manipulator is that ice-cream that enters your life slowly... Always seems someone who will question and push you ahead...
He always questions your life-style.. questions your love-life, question...
what you are doing right .. and what you are doing wrong...

he then gives you answers.. and puts words in your mouth.. before you can think... he is much over you..
he is already making you dance to his tune..
you start speaking his language.. and having his thought process..

He always questions and talks about larger than life goals… but always lies about what he has done in life... will create false situations.. and make you believe they are right...

Slowly slowly he makes you so dependent on him that you cannot imagine your life without him…

A point comes were you even think you are in “love” with him… You consider him your protector, the one who is always there for you.. the one who will never leave you...

He will have small fights with you.. just to make you more dependant on him..

He will leave you for a few days, so you suffer withdrawal symptoms and you desperately run after him.

You cannot spend a month without him.. or without contacting him.

He will never be negative.. and always talk about "higher goals".. and "god".

You might try and control it.. but you become addicted to him... you cannot leave him.. and you'll deny that you are addicted to him.

You will defend him with all your energy.. You will call him perfect..

You will spend days trying to distance from him.. but the moment you meet him, you feel that life is all secure.

When he is completely secure of you being dependent on him.. He will start manipulating you... He will make sure you do everything he wants.

roam around at places he wants.. eat stuff that he wants...
you will take a while before you realize that your thought process, your life-style and even you language is just an extension of that individual..

From then onwards he will rule upon you.. and you will crave for him too rule upon you...

You will call it SELFISHNESS... You will call it, I am being free... but actually there is nothing you can do without his approval.
you just don't realize it.

By the time you understand it... your social circle, your love-life, your self esteem, your personal believes, your financial status.. will have been dented... Even you might have been physically and sexually exploited... – Beware of Manipulators!!"

"Just like the ice-cream.. that will stand there and entice someone else... Same is the manipulator... he will have no remorse for their actions.. They feel what they do is right.. They have no emotional understanding about others feelings... They will keep brain washing for their evil self.!!!

I looked a little concerned... to which they great one said...

"Its so easy to jump and indulge into something...while everything is going good your pride will say "I did it"..
when things go wrong... you will say "I took wrong decisions, I deserve it".

Look beyond self-blame..look at your intellect and your mind.. use them...god has given them, so that you use them for your own benefit... don't let others use it for their benefit."


-
Dr.Hemant Mittal (Neuro-Psychiatrist and Counselor)
email – eksoch@gmail.com
website - www.mindmantra.in

What is love?

It depends. There are as many loves as there are people. 
Love is a hierarchy, from the lowest rung to the highest, from sex to superconsciousness.
There are many many layers, many planes of love. It all depends on you. If you are existing on the lowest rung, you will have a totally different idea of love than the person who is existing on the highest rung.
Adolf Hitler will have one idea of love, Gautam Buddha another and they will be diametrically opposite, because they are at two extremes.

At the lowest, love is a kind of politics, power politics. Love is about domination. — the politics that exists between husbands and wives, boyfriends and girlfriends, friends, family members.
Love is nothing but a sugar-coated pill.

People are falling in love with horses, dogs, animals, machines, things. Why? Because to be in love with human beings has become an utter hell, a continuous conflict.

At the highest peak, when love is not a relationship any more, when love becomes a state of your being, the lotus opens totally and great perfume is released — but only at the highest peak.
At its highest, love is a religious state of consciousness. Love demands nothing in return.

Love is given for the sheer joy of giving it, it is not a bargain. Hence the radiant beauty of it, hence the transcendental beauty of it. It surpasses all the joys that you have known.
It is unaddressed, you don’t love this person or that person, you simply love. You are love.
Rather than saying that you love somebody, it will be better to say you are love.

Nancy was having coffee with Helen.
Nancy asked, “How do you know your husband loves you?”
“He takes out the garbage every morning.”
“That’s not love. That’s good housekeeping.”
“My husband gives me all the spending money I need.”
“That’s not love. That’s generosity.”
“My husband never looks at other women.”
“That’s not love. That’s poor vision.”
“John always opens the door for me.”
“That’s not love. That’s good manners.”
“John kisses me even when I’ve eaten garlic and I have curlers in my hair.”
“Now, that’s love.”

Everybody has their own idea of love. And only when you come to the state where all ideas about love have disappeared, where love is no more an idea but simply your being, then only will you know its freedom.
Then love is God. Then love is the ultimate truth.
Let your love move through the process of meditation. Watch it: watch the cunning ways of your mind, watch your power-politics. And nothing else except continuous watching and observing is going to help.

When love is unmotivated, then love is the greatest thing that can ever happen to anybody. Then love is something of the ultimate, of the beyond.

- – Osho

AS OSHO AND ALL THE SAINTS WHO HAVE BLESSED HUMANITY TIME AND AGAIN HAVE POINTED OUT… OUR GOAL AND MISSION IS TO ATTAIN THAT STATE OF BECOMING LOVE…
ALWAYS STRIVE FOR THAT.

IT DOESN’T MATTER IF YOU KISS IN PUBLIC.. OR YOU PISS IN PUBLIC… IF YOU CAN GO BEYOND THE POLITICS OF DOMINATION.. YOU WILL EXPERIENCE THE FREEDOM AND WONDER OF LOVE..
AND I CAN ASSURE YOU, ITS A STATE YOU WILL NEVER WANT TO COME BACK FROM.

Dr.Hemant Mittal

(Neuro-Psychiatrist, Mental Health and Sexual Health Healer,
Motivational Writer/Speaker and Counselor)

by-
email – eksoch@gmail.com
website - http://mindmantra.in/services.html

or visit my wellness clinic @-
address- 15, shreeji plaza, next to ice n spice restaurant, opposite seawoods station, seawoods (east)
Navi Mumbai

Love Addiction - By Popular Demand

Love Addiction

Its not everyday that I get more than 40 emails asking me to write an article on a common topic.
I thank Sunday Times for bringing to light the topic of Love addiction.
And I thank everyone of you who has sent me a request for the same.

Love Addiction - it actually sounds very cute.
The first time i heard the term, I thought it means height of love or romanticism... I didn't know, I was venturing into one of the darkest rooms of the human mind.

Love addiction is a dangerous addiction.. its a "sweet pain" that can make you emotionally, physically and sexually miserable.


What is Love addiction?
Its the increasingly prominent need of being in a relationship. It can be directed to one person, or to the feeling of being in a relationship.
(present in people who jump from one relationship to the next, finding it almost impossible to remain single).

A person is addicted to the "relationship".. to the feeling of "being in love"... No matter how disastrous the relationship might be for his/her emotional, physical, financial or sexual well-being.. the person will be in a relationship.


"Love addict" Sheetal (name changed) visited me 4yrs ago. She had been in a relationship for over last 7yrs. Her boyfriend used to physically abuse her, financially exploit her and sexually use her... While all her friends said she was with the wrong guy... Her mind said, he is perfect. She never saw anything wrong in him.
Even when she caught him cheating with her best friend, she felt he was "forced" into it.
It took a lot of counseling to help her battle this addiction. She finally got out and realized her mistake.


Why does Love addiction happen?
the main cause is -  growing up in a dysfunctional home where an individuals emotional needs for love and intimacy have not been met.

As a child if you are neglected and you are spending a lot of time alone, what happens is you lose the connect between rational and irrational relationship.
You spend a lot of time alone daydreaming and making up fantasies about the perfect relationship.
All this is happening inside your mind, and is bringing upon chemical changes within the brian structure.
The fantasies are mostly like a hindi movie.. they are full of  happiness, sadness, drama, action.. To fantasize gives a lot of pleasure.

As one grows older, he/she sees "lover" as a hero/heroine figure who will rescue them from loneliness.
Like a knight in shinning armour or wonder woman fighting against all odds to take care of them and help them come out of that "self-inflicted feeling of sadness".

As the relationship gets stronger, the fantasy world becomes more believable.
By this time they are so addicted to the fantasy that they cannot see the practical emotional, physical, financial and sexual problems they are dealing with.

If the fantasy is broken, like in case of any other addiction they go into a withdrawal..
They feel lonely, extreme uncontrolable anger.. the urge to get back into the comfort zone at any cost..
need to immediately find someone else who can create another fantasy in their mind.
always feel bad about themselves, having extreme anger against self.
Indulging in alcohol, smoking, drugs or sex to escape that feeling of abandonment.


How to know if you are a "love addict"?
simple questionaire -

Do you feel that you cannot live without your partner?
Des your whole world revolve around your partner?
Is your entire day decided by how your partner treats you?
Do you spend all the time caring about your partner?
Is your mind full of "movie like" thoughts about your relationship?


Common symptoms of Love addiction -
(7 or more are present in Love addicts)

1. Love addict caries a feeling of loneliness in his/her heart.

2. Attempts to this loneliness by showering someone else with all the love and attention that he/she never received.

3. Since most love addicts have fantasis as their main thought process... They look for partners whom they can "help" change. This satisfies their "hero" image.
So are most interested in Men/women who are battling sadness, are not perfect physically, have bad reputation, have extremely bad anger, have a lot of scope for improvement as per "social laws"

4. Love addicts are terribly scared of abandonment and will do anything to avoid it.

5. They go to any extent in showering love.. they will take all pains upon themselves, just so that they are not abandoned by the lover.

6. Love addicts easily take more than 50% of the responsibility, guilt and blame in the relationship and often does not attribute anything as being their partner’s fault.

Ex: He can’t help me with the kids because he is so tired after work.

7. They have very low self esteem, and always believe in criticizing others.

8. Their ‘helpful’ behavior is actually an attempt at controlling the  relationship.
They are very insecure of their relationship, get jealous very easily and may even show extreme anger reactions at the minimum provocation.

9. Always fantasise about how great their relationship will be. Have proper "hindi movies" regarding the same.

10. Unable to see the reality of their relationship and how unhappy they are.

11. A relationship addict is not interested in nice, emotionally present partners, as they find them ‘boring’ because such relationships have much less drama and chaos.
So they tend to gossip and spread negativity about those involved in such relationships.


Treatment -
1. Love Addiction - like any other addiction spread through the mind and affects the emotional well being of a person.

2. because its a deep seated addiction, that goes back to childhood .. its essential to consult a professional counselor / professional psychiatrist.

3. All of the "love addicts" require help to over-come this problem. Its nearly impossible to conquer it on their own.

4. Like any addiction it has proper withdrawal symptoms that can be experienced even if the partner is away for a single day.

5. Like any addiction there is a very high tendency to relapse.

6. Emotional pain is exagerrated and 100 times more than in other cases. This can lead to extreme anger.
In this extreme anger state an individual can commit suicide, kill someone or harm themselves permanently.

If you know a love addict... Get him help today....
Its important to be in love... but enjoy the feeling of love... don't get addicted to it.

For further assistance on this topic, you can CONTACT ME (all conversations are kept CONFIDENTIAL) -

Dr.Hemant Mittal
(Neuro-Psychiatrist, Mental Health and Sexual Health Healer,
Motivational Writer/Speaker and Counselor)

by-
email - eksoch@gmail.com
website - http://mindmantra.in/services.html

or visit my wellness clinic @-
address- 15, shreeji plaza, next to ice n spice restaurant, opposite seawoods station, seawoods (east)
Navi Mumbai

Your Questions .. My Answers

1. Question – Hi, i am in love with a guy. He loves me too. Initially, everything was going well, but that’s not the case anymore. We fight a lot about petty issues. This has increased my frustration and stress levels to such an extent that i feel like committing suicide. I am scared that we will break-up. Please help.
ABC

Answer – Hello ABC, thanks for writing in. Remember suicide is a cowardly escape from a situation that can be changed to positive that can work out better in the long run.
Increase communication in your relationship. Love has to be a two-way flow of sharing, care, appreciation and giving. If it’s one-way, it leads to insecurity. Talk to him without giving explanations or expecting explanations. Tell him where he needs to change and ask him where you need to change too. Agree on a common ground. Rediscover your love and celebrate it. Knowledge without action is of no use. And action without knowledge is of no use. Don’t just know you love each other, act upon it.
2. Question – My husband has kept my 10 year old son, who is in fifth standard in a boarding school in Nashik without my permission and wants to keep him there till class 10. Whenever, I call my son he cries, and says that “I don’t want to stay here”. Should I listen to my husband or my child?
Aparna
Answer – Hi, I salute you for the immense strength you are showing. A mother’s heart and mind is always in tune with her child. Your son is very young and the initial months at the boarding can be difficult to adjust. Talk to your husband, find out the reasons why he has decided to put him in a boarding. Keep aside your mother’s heart for a moment, and see if it was for the good of your son’s future. If his education, attitude, personality and discipline levels will improve by attending such a school, it would be more beneficial in the long-term..

3. Question – I am a student of first year architecture. i was dating a guy for more than a year. A few weeks back, we broke up. Since then I have been unable to concentrate on my submissions as I miss him a lot. I want him back in my life. I really love him, but he is over me now. We hardly talk and he is not interested in being in contact with me. Please help.
X
Answer – Hello X, The first thing is don’t blame yourself. The end of your relationship is a two-way process. Accept that your power to love someone and be loved is the core essence of your personality. This will help you become calmer and less restless, and get you beyond this rough patch.

Send your queries at 

Dr.Hemant Mittal (Neuro-Psychiatrist and Counselor)

email – eksoch@gmail.com
www.mindmantra.in

Ek Thi Dayaan - The effect of Ghosts and Black Magic on the Mind?

3 common problems people approach me for are-
1. Feeling that they are being haunted by a ghost
2. Feelin as if someone is observing them and/or
3. Someone has cast a "black magic" spell on them.

"Happiness for most is defined as having everything as per your desire and demand."

When life is not going as per what you want, the mind becomes sad, fearful and negative.

As things go from bad to worst, the sadness, fear and negativity increases many fold.
The logical brain has a conflict with the "creative" brain... Eventually giving rise to "explanations" which one forces himself/herself to believe.

We live in a society, were since childhood people develop tendencies to blame others for their bad. Accepting one's own error is difficult and in some cases impossible.. This blame game has various forms.. the commonest are -

1. Someone has done Black magic – In majority cases the suspicion is upon a family member, friend, colleague or known person.
the extent of the "black magic" includes:
a. thoughts and actions are being controlled
b. bodily harm is being done as body is controlled by someone outside force.
c. the occurrence of diseases which were earlier not present shows that negativity is being send.

2. Ghosts are troubling -
a. someone always keeps following them.
b. someone who can read their mind.
c. someone inside their mind, who continuously talks to them or controls their thought process.
d. are able to see people, animals who only they can interact with.
e. their thoughts are being controlled.
f. unusual experiences of touch, smell that others cannot feel.


The reason for this is that one of the most socially accepted delusions is that of "Bhoot, Black Magic, Aatma, Gin, Ghosts or Possessions"...
Religious preachers and the audio-visual media (Radio/TV/Cinema) have together created a "dangerous and horror filled memory" within our minds.

It provides our minds with a great way to escape and find illogical but "socially acceptable" answers to whats going wrong.

Most of my patients who suffer from these "false ideas", have been visiting tantriks, astrologers and other faith healers for years... before they decide to come and meet me.

WHY DOES THE COMPLETE CURE NOT HAPPEN, EVEN AFTER VISITING A ASTROLOGER,BABA, PEER, OJHA, TANTRIK OR FAITH HEALER?

Because the mental restlessness has not been calmed.

1. While the battle of good vs bad is very attractive... the human mind can only take explanations to a certain level.. after that decisions have to be made..
If one is poor in decision making... and even poorer on action over a decision.. restlessness will always exist..

so while most of these faith-healers promise instant cures by doing rituals... till one isn't positive and logical about an action, it won't ever come true.

2. A mind accustomed to blaming others for his/her misfortune, will continue doing the same even after the "Astrological" cure is complete.
So the "Ghost is bound to come back and haunt you".. because the mind has now found a great way of explaining failure.

3. There is no instant, astrological or magical cure for Mental Restlessness…

Mental Restlessness is an emotional, biological and psychological issue... It affects your way of thinking,
it changes the blood circulation in the brain leading to chemical and hormonal changes... its a medical condition, that requires treatment.

TO LIVE A HAPPY LIFE.. DON'T RELY ON OTHERS TO PROVIDE YOU THE CURE... DON'T EXPECT LIFE TO BE EASY ENOUGH THAT ONE "RITUAL" CAN BRING YOU ALL THE FAME, MONEY, LOVE AND GOODNESS...
LEARN TO CALM YOUR RESTLESSNESS AND FIGHT THE SITUATION.

LIFE WILL NOT ONLY BE MORE PLEASURABLE.. BUT FULL OF CONFIDENCE, LOVE AND PEACE.

Dr.Hemant Mittal
(Neuro-Psychiatrist, Motivational writer/speaker and Counselor)
email – eksoch@gmail.com
website – www.mindmantra.in
Clinic address- 15, shreeji plaza, next to ice n spice restaurant, opposite seawoods station, seawoods (east)
Navi Mumbai

Elder Brother vs Younger Brother

"As human tendency we get too comfortable and it becomes very difficult to accept change"

Mohan (Name changed) was brought for counseling by this elder brother Pradeep (Name changed).
They both had a 15year age difference.

Since he was 25yr and started earning, Pradeep looked upon Mohan as not only his younger brother, but with love equal to that a father has for a son.

The love was truely reciprocated.. And somewhere Pradeep started dreaming of greatness for Mohan.
He educated him, he pampered him with all gifts... so much so, that he would buy new shirts and cell-phones for Mohan, and himself use the one's he had discarded.

Today Mohan is 24yrs of age and Pradeep is 39yrs. Pradeep is married with 2 children, but his love for his younger brother is even greater to all.

6 months ago, Pradeep discovered that Mohan was not performing well in his work-place. On further inquiry he found that he had fallen in love with a collegue and the relationship never took off.
He spoke with Mohan, tried to counsel him and help him come out of it. He bought him a few electronics and gave him a small holiday so that he could refresh himself.

A few weeks later, by chance he discovered that it was not a collegue but a "friend" of his.

He investigated further and found out that Mohan, had was actually having a relationship with a "call-girl".
This broke his entire belief system.
He also found that Mohan had been caught stealing money thrice at his workplace, to fund his "love and lust" habits.

Mohan had more than 2 Lakh rupees of debt and once had even borrowed money from a friend on the lie of his father having suffered a "heart attack".

Pradeep couldn't take it, he went to visit Mohan. Over there both brothers had a verbal fight which eventually became physical.
Pradeep beat Mohan, but the thought of his brother's behavior destroyed his entire mental peace.

Since then he has taken Mohan to several places. Various astrologers, various counselors and various doctors.
I happened to be one of the great list of "healers" that they plan to visit for some "instant cure".

Medically speaking Mohan suffers from a Personality disorder that was fueled by excessive love, excessive protectionism.. lack of sense of responsibility and lack of vision about the future... the need for instant gratification is so high that Pradeep loses his temper and insight of reality whenever it is triggered.
His anger levels are so high, that he can steal, lie or even fight for satisfying his needs.

Even though Pradeep has keeps visiting many doctors and healers with the faith that someone will magically change his brother... He still blinded in love to accept that his brother will need medications probably for the entire life time.

Pradeep has asked me to post his story... as he wants to know from everyone, what should he do.?

What would you Advice to Pradeep.. How can he help Mohan?


Dr.Hemant Mittal (Neuro-Psychiatrist and Counselor)
email - eksoch@gmail.com

Color power - Use colors to improve your mental health

Take a minute and imagine the world around you without colors, how boring and unexciting life would be.

Colors play a vital role in our daily lives and it has been proven that our activities and responses are influenced by them.

Kenneth Fehrman, co-author of the book,
Color: The Secret Influence states that, “Most people are unaware of the profound effect color has on their behavior.”

Every color has a unique effect on individuals and stimulates various responses e.g. the fast food companies use red, yellow and orange colors in their restaurants and product packaging as these colors are found to be helpful in increasing appetite.

A research by the University of British Columbia has proven that blue color enhances creativity whereas; the color red helps to be focused and has a positive effect on memory.

The Blackfriars Bridge made of black iron when painted green, showed a decline in suicide rate up to 30%. Studies show that pink color is beneficial for stimulating responses from females whereas dark green color has a motivational effect on males. Let’s take a look at how some colors affect our mind and body.


RED
The color Red is the most vibrant of all the colors. It stimulates the adrenal gland and the neurons. This color is ideal to wear for a walk or exercise as it is an invigorating color. However, too much exposure to the color red can cause stress; it may also cause frustration and provoke anger.

The color red symbolizes love; it stimulates heartbeat and breathing. Researches show that men feel more affectionate towards women wearing red. Wear red and you might get lucky in grabbing attention but may appear heavier than your original body size.

“If one says ‘Red’ – the name of color – and there are fifty people listening, it can be expected that there will be fifty reds in their minds. And one can be sure that all these reds will be very different.” – Josef Albers


YELLOW
Have you ever wondered why Smiley is yellow? The reason is that yellow helps to release a chemical in the brain called Serotonin, essential for causing a happy mood.
Studies have proven that yellow color enhances concentration and gives the brain and nervous system a “ wake-up call”. Too much of yellow color can cause fatigue. Studies show that babies cry more in yellow rooms. It is the most difficult color on the eye and people might lose temper more often in yellow rooms. It is also beneficial for speeding up metabolism and is a common food color.

“Yellow is capable of charming God.” – Vincent Van Gogh


BLUE
If you want some creative juices spilling out of your mind then get exposed to the color Blue.

It is believed to have a soothing effect on human mind as it helps to produce some calming chemicals in the brain.
However, too much exposure to this color may cause depression. Blue is used a lot in cooperate sector as it denotes loyalty. It is also proved that materials in blue color appear to be light in weight; this is one of the reasons why weightlifters find it easier to handle heavy weights in gyms painted blue.

The color blue is a non food color as it gives a toxic effect to edibles; moreover research has proven that when people are served with food dyed in blue they tend to lose appetite. For weight watchers blue kitchen can be very helpful, studies reveal that diners eating in a blue room eat 3 times less calories than in rooms painted yellow and red.

“Blue color is everlastingly appointed by the deity to be a source of delight.” – John Ruskin


BLACK
Black signifies power and authority, it represents knowledge and intelligence. It is the most popular color in the fashion industry because of its association with style and it makes people wearing it look thin. A food product packed in black color may bring in more profits because it is perceived to be higher in quality.

Black is the most aggressive color, studies found that hockey teams wearing black jerseys were penalized more for fouls.

“I’ve been 40 years discovering that the queen of all colors is black.” – Pierre-Auguste Renoir


WHITE
White is considered to be the most neutral color. Baby products come usually in white to symbolize innocence and cleanliness. White is used by doctors and nurses to show sterility. In clothes, white is associated with sophistication. A research showed that people having hand tremors didn’t shake much in white rooms proving that the color has a calming effect.

“White covers a multitude of sins.” – Jonathan Milne


GREEN
Green represents nature and currently it is the most popular color that is being used in interior decoration.
The reason is its soothing effect on the eyes. Green gives a relaxes the body and alleviates stress.
Researchers have proven that the color improves vision. This could be the reason why classroom boards are in green color. Middle aged brides wear green to signify fertility. Green has a healing and hygienic effect and for this reason it is used a lot in hospitals.

People working in green offices have proven to be more satisfied with their jobs. Other surveys have also found that consumers spend more time shopping in shops painted green.

“Green how I want you green. Green wind. Green branches.” – Federico Garcia Lorca


PINK
Pink color is considered to be the most romantic of all the colors.
It is the most tranquilizing color and is associated with femininity. Often sports teams use pink color to paint the locker rooms for the opposing team.
It has been found beneficial in reducing anger and anxiety and this is the reason why prisons in US are painted pink to keep the prisoners calm.

Dr Alexander Schauss, from American Institute of Biosocial and Medical Research explains that, “Even if a person tries to be angry or aggressive in the presence of pink, he can’t. The heart muscles can’t race fast enough.”


PURPLE
Purple color symbolizes royalty, luxury and sophistication. People wearing purple color are perceived to be wealthy. It develops spirituality and deep thoughts. Purple color has also been found helpful to intensify sexual activity.


ORANGE
Something you need to turn up your bad mood? Orange is the color for you. It is derived by the combination of red and yellow color therefore it has combining effects of the two. It stimulates mental abilities and is an ideal color to wear for exams. It is also useful for increasing appetite.

“Orange is the happiest color” – Frank Sinatra

Female Psychology - Increase your charm

Psychologists and Psychiatrists spend a great deal of their time analysing the dynamics of Human Relationships.
One such part of psychology is analysing and studying those behavior patterns which increase charm.

5 female charms or behavioral traits which scored highest in various psychological studies about relationships are - 

1.) Just say hi.

Most men are very shy animals. They like to show-off to attract women, but many are scared of saying Hi.
They feel a rejection will hurt their "image".

There is only a very small percentage of those who can conquer this fear.

So women who "facilitate" a man to come out of this fear, automatically becomes very attractive.
If someone attracts you-

“Just say the first hi”.

2.) Don’t show-off your knowledge, create a challenge instead.

Men are loaded with ego.
When they have to battle to prove their ego, that kills the charm.
It becomes a psychological battle that more than often end with anger and irritation.

The more knowledge or discussions you get into, the less affection you develop.

Real Men love a challenge. So learn the art of gently poking fun and laughing.
The challenge to be able to prove their ego right, makes men run after a girl.

3.) Learn to Listen.

Men love to talk.
There are two ways of making a men quiet.
One is by force... You keep on talking talking talking and he is forced to listen to you...
Until or unless he isn't "sexually" in love with your body, he will start to feel irritated and aversive to talk to you.

The second way to make men quiet, is by listening to them. Once you let a guy talk, let him vent out all his feelings, you will create a special place in his heart.

4.) Don't Jump to give opinions

Real Men are Raw… While a new age breed spends hours in vanity, those who are determined to achieve success in life, are out there doing something.

Most guys are very possessive about what they love. Be it their workout, friends, cars, bikes, etc... They might criticize it, but if they love it.. they cannot listen to negativity about it.

Don’t jump to give an opinion about everything…

I once counseled a very successful Senior Manager in a Fortune 500 company. He was great success in his professional life, but a failure in his personal life.
Every single relationship of his had miserably failed.
When I inquired further - I found this guy to be extremely sensitive about his friends, profession and material wealth.

If a girl criticized him spending thousands of rupees in a single night partying with friends, he would immediately label her as "bad".
He was an extreme case, and needed a lot of counseling to "adjust" and "understand" girls.

but most guys are sensitive about their likes and dislikes... so be careful in your opinion.

5.) Touch therapy.

Most Men are really uptight but deep inside, extremely gulible. They are like small kids who loved to be touched and hugged.

They like to keep it light and specific in public... But they have specific "comfort points".
A small pat on the back, holding hands to cross the road, a small pinch on the cheek... can send shivers down their spinal cord.

Learn to use touch therapy to your benefit... and men will fall to you feet.

For further assistance on this topic, you can CONTACT ME (all conversations are kept CONFIDENTIAL) -

Dr.Hemant Mittal
(Neuro-Psychiatrist, Mental Health and Sexual Health Healer,
Motivational Writer/Speaker and Counselor)

by-
email - eksoch@gmail.com
website - http://mindmantra.in/services.html

or visit my wellness clinic @-
address- 15, shreeji plaza, next to ice n spice restaurant, opposite seawoods station, seawoods (east)
Navi Mumbai