Compulsive Talking disorder - Excessive Talking - A hidden sign of mental restlessness

You must have encountered individuals who speak more than others do.

But then there are those who speak excessively more than others. You instantly notice that their talking is not normal.

Few characteristics

1. The volume, speed and duration of their talk is always on the higher side.

2. Listener is perplexed, because he feels excluded and insignificant in the conversation. Its more of a one-sided monologue.

3. The talker frames the questions and answers them.

4. The talker might exhibit sudden mood swings while talking.

5. The talker might show excess fidgetiness and hyperactivity.


Why does this happen?
There are 4 main reasons for excessive talking -

1. Anxiety or mental restlessness is the most common cause. The individual is anxious to maintain contact and maintain a certain "ego level" in the conversation.
He/she becomes uncomfortable with pauses.

2. Insecurity also may lead the compulsive talker to demand the uninterrupted attention of another. Hence he/she keeps talking and judging the others level of attention.

3. ADHD - Attention deficit Hyperactivity disorder in adults leads to extreme talking.

4. Bipolar Disorder - both poles of bipolar disorder can manifest as


In the presence of an incessant talker,

1. Understand that the reason what makes an individual talk so much.

2. Most people as a defense mechanism to escape the barrage of words, always agree and approve with the talker. our agreement and approval.
This is wrong because it reinforces habit to talk more.

3. If you really want to help someone with the problem of talking, then he/she has to be confronted about their anxiety and insecurity.

4. Most people try to "counsel" such cases, resulting in unwanted use of words that create negativity and anger in the talker.


5. Its important to guide the talker, and help them visit a proper counselor or psychiatrist.
This isn't madness but its a brain psychological reaction that needs to be controlled.

written by -

Dr.Hemant Mittal (MBBS, DPM, MD(mindmantra))
(Psychiatrist, Motivational Writer and Counselor)

email – eksoch@gmail.com
website – www.mindmantra.in

clinic address- 15, shreeji plaza, next to ice n spice restaurant, opposite seawoods station, seawoods (east)
Navi Mumbai

Teenage Pregnancy - The unborn Parents

Its time parents stop thinking - "this cannot happen with my girl".

Taking in consideration my own psychiatric practice and a lot of feedback I get after Sex education lectures I take for Parents/adolescents, every year there has been an exponential rise in parents and teenage girls coming with complains of "post traumatic stress" related to teenage pregnancy.

The Indian society is not accepting of such a phenomenon, and 100% cases land up in legal or illegal termination of pregnancy.

Under fear, most teenagers approach quacks, pharmacists and illegal gynaecologists on their own, which can further add to the emotional burden they face.

The termination of pregnancy leads to a chain reaction of hormones whereby both body and mind goes against self, resulting in -
very high depression
nervous breakdowns
anger
restlessness
sudden appetite loss
and even suicidal thoughts/attempts.


Main Reasons for rise in teenage pregnancy -

1. Peer pressure - Teenagers today are more sexually experimental than ever before.
Boys are using more and more "techniques" to sexually entice girls.
Media equates Romance, love and Sex as one.

Many teenagers feel left behind when their friends start to have boyfriends, or start having sex.
They automatically feel the need to experiment.

Talking about this topic isn't easy at home or with an adult.
Specially with Indian Parents and adults who love to think of their teenager as a "kid".

Very few parents openly talk to their girl childs about waiting for the right time and right person to have sex.

Normally mentioning the word sex is anxiety causing for most parents.

Its this shyness to talk, which leads the child to explore based on experiences of their friends.
Unfortunately most of their friends are also flowing in a sea of emotions, and seldom have the right knowledge.

Sometimes all the needed is a parent lovingly saying - "Don't just start having sex because other people are if you aren't ready to do it yourself."



2. Learning to say "No". -
India is a country where a child learns adjustments at a very young age.
Adjustments are done to develop acceptability.

Many a times parents don't teach their child the power of "NO".
They themselves discourage a child from learning how to "stand her own ground".

A child should always know that she has the right to deny anything she is uncomfortable with... Be it a boyfriend, physical contact or sex.

A parent is required who listens and supports the child while she takes this step.


3. Sex Education -
This is one topic I personally love. I have been taking lectures for teenagers and parents on this very topic since my MBBS days.
In 10yrs time, its surprising but still the same taboos exist.

Parents "outsource" Sex education to school and colleges.
While most school and colleges make it so boring and inaccessible, that its a lecture full of giggling and taunting.

Its time you teach your teenage child what sex is.
And if yourself don't know, consult a good psychologist/psychiatrist who will do it for you.

Its time to remove the myths from the childs mind.
Its time to openly talk about penis, vagina, sperms and ovum.
Its time to openly talk about safe sex and unprotected sex.
Its time to openly talk about HIV/Sexually transmitted diseases.


4. Teach your child about contraception -
She might not use it, but she can prevent someone else from getting pregnant.

At the very basic teach them about use of Condoms.

Its really surprising, but a few weeks ago I was taking a lecture on Sex Education for 17-18yr old teenagers.
100% of them knew what condom was.
not more than 30% knew how to actually use one properly.
They had different myths and stories about the same.


5. Be OPEN to be shocked - Your girl child will probably experiment with sex in some way or the other.
You can be a watchdog and keep an eye on her till a certain age, after that she will experiment.

Be open to talk to her.
If she is shy on talking to you, let her email you or sms you.
take her out for a lunch/dinner and talk very calmly about it.

The more angry you will get, the more chance of you creating further damage.


6. There is nothing called chance -
I have kids who believe in the myth that 1st chance when we have sex is safe.
There is nothing called chance.

There are many kids who "take chance with contraception".

7. The internet is not GOD -
One of the most common stupidities done is to search the internet for "abortion" methods.

Teenagers feel thats one way of "stamping their adulthood".

Many flaunt the ways of using OC pills leads to extreme side effects.

Unfortunately in many cases it leads to incomplete abortions or other side-effects

Consulting professional qualified gynaecologist and psychiatrists is essential.

8. Missing Periods - Many girls keep quiet on missing their periods.
They are so fearful and discuss it with their friends only.

Its important a parent is informed as soon as possible.
There are many reasons for missing periods.. Its not always pregnancy... But proper treatment in time, and save from future complications.

9. Abortion is glorified -
Most teenage pregnancy land up abortions.

On a personal note, killing of the products of conception is really a criminal because its preventable if proper protection is used.

Sex has been sadly glorified thanks to the taboo attached...
Abortion has been glorified thanks to the fear attached...

Prevention is always the best cure.

written by -

Dr.Hemant Mittal (MBBS, DPM, MD(mindmantra))
(Psychiatrist, Motivational Writer and Counselor)

email – eksoch@gmail.com
website – www.mindmantra.in

clinic address- 15, shreeji plaza, next to ice n spice restaurant, opposite seawoods station, seawoods (east)
Navi Mumbai

People who are truly in love tend to get jealous even over stupid things.

In my psychiatric practice I have worked a lot with people facing problems of jealousy.
Most common myth is that  - "I’m jealous so doesn’t that prove I really love him/her."

Actually that's really wrong. Jealousy just proves you are insecure. And this insecurity gives rise to fear.

As a psychiatrist I have seen that Jealousy is an emotional and behavioural expression of one or more of following insecurities cropping your mind -

1. Afraid of being replaced by another person
or not being able to make place
or not being able to replace another person in the heart, mind and life of someone you find important.

2. You tend to go beyond your natural self and over-analyze situations based on insecurity.. making you feel jealous and angry.
Anger can come out in various destructive ways.

3. When you are jealous you’re usually in a state of not trusting your own self -
you don't trust your own attraction power,
you decrease your over all self worth,
your under estimate your ability to give love.


As an emotional reaction to this stress, you -
1. Try to over-compensate on fear and guilt of jealousy, you tend to show yourself as more loving, more giving and more forgiving.. when deep inside it might be against your natural self.

This over-compensation is looked upon as "better love" .. when in fact you are actually suppressing your true self.

2. You also tend to become more quiet, and decrease on communication.
Start lying, induce fights for no reason, and giving much more meaning to "situations and words" than they actually have.


Mind Mantra -  Jealousy might be an healthy indication of your love for someone, but it can become the base of something really destructive. A few things you should always keep in mind -

a. Talk as friend - Friendship is the essence of a relationship. Always communicate your jealousy with your partner in a non- dominant" or "non possessive" way.
don't expect for him/her to change for you.. expect them to listen to you.

b. Understand - your partner is not the same human being as you are... He/she has a completely different thought process.
If his/her intentions are not evil or negative, his/her actions might not be as dangerous as you see it.

c. Live and let live - give space to each other.
Real love never goes away.. it always stays in the heart...
always seek real love..

d. Work on Yourself - jealousy is a sign for you. Its time to remove those fears from deep inside your mind.
Its time to be confident about yourself.
Your life doesn't start or end with your partner.. Its starts and ends with you.
Love yourself... Like yourself..
You cannot be replace in anyone's heart, mind and life.
You don't need to replace someone.
You are unique.

You have a natural attraction power
you have a natural way of expressing love
you have a natural self worth..

Enjoy your natural self.. .Respect it.. and always be confident about it.

Thanks for reading, your queries are welcome @-

Dr.Hemant Mittal
(Psychiatrist,Motivational Writer/Speaker and Counselor)

email - eksoch@gmail.com
website - http://mindmantra.in/services.html

personal consultation @-
address- Mind Mantra wellness clinic
Shop 15, shreeji plaza, next to ice n spice restaurant,
opposite seawoods station,
seawoods (east)
Navi Mumbai - 400706

are you open-minded???

Tony is a student.. his performance in a week -
homework: A
classwork:  A
homework: A
classwork:  A
homework: A

Friday Test: F

How parents and society judge him as a student: F


We have become so tunnel visioned that One result, one exam, one test determines how we judge ourselves and judge others.

We talk about being Broad-minded... but we don't want to look at the whole of a persona...

its a delusion to call yourself broad-minded or open-minded if you cannot accept mistakes of others...
its an insult to call yourself broad-minded if you have different standards for yourself and for others.
its a mistake to call yourself broad-minded if you cannot give upon your need of perfection.


Accepting mistake is essential...accepting others for all their goods and bad is open-mindness...
accepting others and letting others be themself without judging them as childish, mature, intelligent or dumb is essential..

open-mindness is the only way success in life..
Its the only way in which you can keep moving ahead, motivated to achieve much more... motivated to improve on much more... motivated on learning much more.

Dr.Hemant Mittal (Psychiatrist, Counselor, motivational speaker/writer)
email - eksoch@gmail.com
www.mindmantra.in 

Those with you right now Matter

While longing for those who have left you, most of the times you forget about those who are with you.
You take them for granted... and don't realize how much they mattered until they also leave.

its fine to miss someone who left you... but its time to realize that those around right now are the important.
launch yourself into happiness by enjoying every moment with those who are there for you.



Dr.Hemant Mittal
email - eksoch@gmail.com

The Psychological Power of Karva Chauth - Why you should do it?

In the hindu calendar year, Karva Chauth is a day marked to celebrate Love.

As a psychiatrist I wanted to find the psychological importance of this festival.

As i researched into the subject I found that the origin of this festival was based on a very sweet and noble idea. 
Unfortunately this idea has been lost under the commercial and glamours aspects of this festival.

In the ancient time, girls used to get married and go to live with their in-laws in other villages.

After marriage, if she faces any problem with her in-laws or her husband, she would have no one to talk to or seek support from.

There used to be no cellphone or internet. Her own parents and relatives would be quite far and unreachable.

Thus the custom started that at her in-laws the bride would befriend another married woman who would act as a moral and psychological support for her.
These woman or women (of her age or elder to her) would offer her advice on family, household work, love and sex.

This would help her adjust to a new life and slowly take up the role of becoming the psychological "back-bone" of her family.

Karwa chauth was a celebration of this bond between these women. 
The first important significance of this day, was all for these women to meet up, away from routine work... with a vow to fast till the end of the day. 
This vow gave them a common goal and a sense of equality.
Since they had the same goal to achieve, as equals, they would take care of each other, share their experiences, vent out their negatives, laugh, play and motivate each other.

This increased the power of their love, understanding and strengthen their friendship.

The second important aspect of this festival was that husbands would realize the sacrifice their wife's carry out every single day.

A day away from the wife, they would get time to reflect on her importance in their life.
The fasting is a symbol of sacrifice.
They would get time to reflect on the sacrifices and the importance of their wife in managing their physical, social, psychological and sexual wellness.

This would make them proud, happy and feel blessed...
Since india has never been a very verbally expressive society, breaking of fast was meant to describe all these positive emotions through actons.

Breaking of fast is a gesture meant to show How proud they feel of her, how happy they are of having her and how lovingly the pray for this bond to last forever.

Its said love is the most powerful motivator in the universe, henceforth on seeing this unconditional flow of love, happiness and laughter.. the spiritual energies would bless these ladies and their husbands with positivity, good luck, longevity and prosperity.

MIND MANTRA - ITS A DAY OF CELEBRATION... 
LET GO OF YOUR EGOS.. 
LET GO OF YOUR DOUBTS..
LET GO OF YOUR FIGHTS..
LET GO OF YOUR JEALOUSY..
CELEBRATE FRIENDSHIP, TOGETHERNESS AND LOVE.

WISHING ALL LADIES AND ALL HUSBANDS A LOVED FILLED KARWA CHAUTH.

written by -

Dr.Hemant Mittal (MBBS, DPM, MD(mindmantra))
(Psychiatrist, Motivational Writer and Counselor)

email – eksoch@gmail.com
website – www.mindmantra.in

clinic address- 15, shreeji plaza, next to ice n spice restaurant, opposite seawoods station, seawoods (east)
Navi Mumbai

praveen babi - death by schizophrenia

Imagine a Bollywood superstar, who epitomised the bold, the beautiful and the bohemian...
and then imagine her being handcuffed and ankle-cuffed and carried by four policemen from the JFK airport in New York to a mental hospital because she refused to go through the customary checks growing uncontrollably hysterical…

Parveen Babi The most exquisite face to have hit the Hindi screen in the ’70s suffered from paranoid schizophrenia, which triggered a systematic disintegration of her personality and life.

Psychiatrist have rationalized that it was a substance-induced psychosis coupled with inability to face failed relationships.

The demons in her mind never left her, and she kept running from them.
She fled to the USA to seek refuge in philosopher and guru UG Krishnamurthy.

The extent of her downfall came when she returned back to Mumbai in 1989, walked down the Mumbai airport holding a placard that read ‘Parveen Babi’.
She knew her longtime secretary Ved Sharma, who was there to receive her, wouldn’t be able to recognise her.

For she had become fat, her hair and skin all messed up, beyond recognition of the beauty which had earned her millions of admires, she was completely lost fighting the demons her mind.

She slowly started mistrusting her loyal secretary and workers.. She became suspicious... at one point she wouldn't let anyone xerox her documents, so she’d spend hours making handwritten copies of the voluminous documents writing out word to word, line to line.

Only a few people were allowed inside her residence, Parveen wouldn’t open the door for anyone else.
For groceries and essentials, she’d slip the money through the door and collect the milk and eggs once the delivery man had left.
Later Parveen even stopped eating cooked food, fearing it would be poisoned, says Lalit. “All she drank was the yellow of the egg; she’d whip it and make a juice.”

Her mistrust was so intense that she refused to be treated for her mental illness.
“She didn’t trust the doctors. Anyone who suggested she should see a psychiatrist became her enemy, even her mother!”

“She even believed that the January 26, 2001 earthquake in Kutch was planned because she had a water tank on the terrace and ‘they’ wanted to kill her by crushing it. If her car didn’t work, she’d believe that someone had deliberately tampered with it.”

it was impossible to have a normal conversation with her. - She had developed this weird habit of putting on a tape recorder when you visited her. She’d switch on the gadget.

The media informed on her demise on January 22, 2005 that reportedly, the police was alerted, as she had not collected milk and newspapers from her doorstep for the past three days. She had developed a complication due to her diabetic condition.

Finally, Parveen Wali Mohammed Khan Babi was buried next to her mother at Santa Cruz, Mumbai on January 23, 2005. But to all those who once knew her, she had died long ago.

(edited from a write up by farhana farook from idiva)

MIND MANTRA - schizophrenia is one of the most destructive disorders in entire medical science.
Its very different from MULTIPLE PERSONALITY DISORDER, because in schizophrenia leads to completely destroys a patient personality.
Classical signs -
1. increased suspiciousness
2. hallucination - hearing of voices or seeing things that are not there
3. not taking care of personal hygiene
4. complete social withdrawal
5. slowness in doing work
6. heightend fear
7. decreased emotional responses

Schizophrenia happens due to disturbed functioning of the brain chemical system (namely dopamine and serotonin)
Hence is a mental health condition, which requires immediate treatment.
Counseling or Alternate therapies only help once the "active phase" of the disorder is controlled through medications.

Thanks for reading, your queries are welcome @-

Dr.Hemant Mittal
(Psychiatrist,Motivational Writer/Speaker and Counselor)

email - eksoch@gmail.com
website - http://mindmantra.in/services.html

personal consultation @-
address- Mind Mantra wellness clinic
Shop 15, shreeji plaza, next to ice n spice restaurant,
opposite seawoods station,
seawoods (east)
Navi Mumbai - 400706

Sexual Addiction Online Test

Sexual addiction is a reality.
Sexual behavior is the thoughts, actions(masturbation) and sexual intercourse indulgence related to this physiological process of sex.
Since entire sexual behavior pattern tends to produce a lot of euphoric and happy chemicals in the mind, its also misused by many by becoming addicted to it.


Here a simple yes/no test to help you find out if you are suffering from sexual addiction -

Every question has to be answered in yes or no.

Let’s start:

1. Were you sexually abused as a child or adolescent?

2. Do you regularly purchase, download, or borrow sexual explicit magazines, novels or audio-video material?

3. Have you stayed in a relationship even after they have become emotionally or physically abusive?

4. Do you often find yourself preoccupied with sexual thoughts or day dreams?

5. Do you feel that your sexual behavior is not normal?

6. Does your spouse, partner, friends or family members ever worry or complain about your sexual behavior?

7. Do you have trouble stopping your sexual behavior when you know it is inappropriate?

8. Do you ever feel bad about your sexual behavior?

9. Has your sexual behavior ever created problems for you and your family?

10. Have you ever sought help (counseling, friends advice or elderly advice) for sexual behavior you did not like?

11. Have you ever worried about people finding out about your sexual thoughts/behaviors?

12. Has anyone been hurt emotionally because of your indulgence in your sexual behavior?

13. Have you ever participated in sexual activity in exchange for money or gifts?

14. Do you have times when you are excessively indulged into sexual behavior followed by time periods of complete celibacy or no sex at all?

15. Have you made efforts to quit a type of sexual activity and failed?

16. Do you spend emotional or financial energy to hide some of your sexual behavior from others?

17. Do you find yourself having multiple romantic relationships at the same time?

18. Have you ever felt degraded or guilty because of your sexual behavior?

19. Has sex or romantic fantasies been a way for you to escape from responsibilities, tasks or problems?

20. Do you feel depressed or guilty immediately after indulgence into sexual behavior?

21. Do you fantasies or engage in out of normal sexual behavior. (for example- pervert thoughts, sado-masochistic behavior)?

22. Has your sexual activity interfered with your personal or professional life?

23. Have you ever consciously dreamt or indulged in sexual activity with minors or family members?

24. Do you feel controlled by your sexual desire or fantasies of romance?

25. Do you ever think that your sexual desires are stronger than your will power?

Score :

0 points for every NO

1 point for every YES

scores -

below 12 - normal behavior pattern

between 12-17 - mild addiction towards sex.

above 18 - high chance of addiction, seek professional counseling  before it creates more problems for you.

any further queries -

Dr.Hemant Mittal (MBBS, DPM, MD(mindmantra))
(Psychiatrist, Motivational Writer and Counselor)

email – eksoch@gmail.com
website – www.mindmantra.in

clinic address- 15, shreeji plaza, next to ice n spice restaurant, opposite seawoods station, seawoods (east)
Navi Mumbai

Fatty foods cause sadness and depression

We now have another reason to avoid fats and fatty food. 

It's not our body, but our mind is also affected by the bad fats in the food.

A study, published in the International Journal of Obesity, noted that high fat foods are indeed comforting, but that their feel good effect has an addictive quality, leading to a comedown that creates depression.

Foods high in saturated fat such as in restaurant food, butter, cheese, ice cream and fast-foods have been shown to cause inflammation throughout the body - including the brain, and this inflammation could cause changes that lead to negative moods.

Fatty acids in these foods change proteins in brains that lead to emotional changes. This in turn affects our emotional stability and we suffer bouts of anxiety and depression.
This coupled with the following issues increases depression/anxiety to clinical levels -

1. high need for control over life, which is otherwise perfect.. leads to thoughts of running away from current place.

2. social withdrawal

3. weight gain leads to decreased self image... one looks in the mirror and doesn't want to decrease weight because he/she feels its a way of revolting against the society.

4.  lack of "emotional connect" with close relatives,

5. getting surrounded by negative people makes one happy. One rationalizes that they are all positive, but actually deep inside knowns they are just venting out negativity.

This makes the psyche happy, because you tend to relate to other negativity. Also gives you an ego boost to "help" others.

6. increased fat decreased sexual and physical drive of an individual. Eventually decreasing the positive chemicals and hormones secreted in the body during sex. This leads to increased anger and depression.

Most people are in denial phase.. they are reluctant to accept they are suffering from clinical depression.. They use big rationalization to say we are spiritually high or we are "detached" from the world.. when actually they are destroying their own happiness.

A small change that can help them, is to avoid fatty foods.. and make life more positive.

To battle fears by confronting them... to seek love not negativity.

To be with people who they can have fun with... and to avoid people who constantly keep complaining.

written by -

Dr.Hemant Mittal (MBBS, DPM, MD(mindmantra))
(Psychiatrist, Motivational Writer and Counselor)

email – eksoch@gmail.com
website – www.mindmantra.in

clinic address- 15, shreeji plaza, next to ice n spice restaurant, opposite seawoods station, seawoods (east), Navi Mumbai

10 ways of battling depression

Depression breaks you... you lose control on yourself... Be it lack of family support or due to self fear of seeking help, you will always delay getting treatment.

Here are 10 ways of battling depression, and protecting from its mind destroying effects -

1. Happy Food
Clinical Depression affects the brain appetite centre... so you either tend to eat more or lose appetite.
Most people eat high carbohydrate or high fatty food.

You should include nuts, berries, dark chocolates, tomatoes, spinach, coconut, honey, whole grains, etc to pep up your mood.
These foods can increase your endorphin levels which can make you happy.


2. Quit or control smoking
Most people smoke to relieve stress and depression... but they don't realize that it further depresses their mind, creating more fear.

The 2hrly withdrawal effects of nicotine, when coupled with already present stress or depression increases extreme negative thinking.

This is like a psychological trap, where smoking isn't a cure but a way to increase your depression.


3. Exercise
Researchers found patients who exercised an hour and a half to two hours per week had slightly lower depression scores.


4. Avoid junk food
Studies have shown that people whose diets include fried foods, processed meats, desserts and high-fat dairy have a higher chance of showing signs of depression.

The high salt, sugar, fat content of junk food is known to play with blood circulation creating lack of the same in the brain.. leading to decreased brain functioning.
Besides bringing depression, junk food also makes you irritable and aggressive.


5. Avoid late night and TV sessions
Sitting in front of a computer or TV screen late into the night or leaving it on when you fall asleep could increase your chances of becoming depressed.


6. Get sunlight
Lack of sunlight exposure is one of the main reasons for depression to increase... Go out early morning and get some sunlight exposure.. a walk in the park listening to your favorite music is one of the most powerful anti-depressant activities you can indulge in.


7. Surround yourself with positive people
Isolating yourself will make you gloomier and decrease your appeal.

Enjoy the company of positive, energetic people as this will make you feel better.

If you don't have friends, join a gym, a music class or a make friends with positive people online.


8. Mind control - you can stop that Negative thinking
Depression can make you to a world of too much negativity.

It's hard to stay off it, but try and replace it with more balanced thoughts.

Discipline your life -
clean environment,
eating on specific times,
reading positive psychological quotes,
decreasing your ego,
loving yourself,
mindful meditation
tantra meditation

are all very powerful brain controling ways.


9. Avoid sad songs
When you are depressed, it is a normal tendency to listen to sad songs.

Avoid it. This will just make it hard for you to forget what wrong happened to you, because when we are upset we don't enjoy the music we tend to evaluate the lyrics.

More often the lyrics just match our lives, which make us burst into tears. Listen to happier music and you'll find your day's getting brighter.


10. Avoid alcohol and drugs
You may be tempted to drink or take a drug to escape the misery.
Alcohol is a depressant, it decreases mind performance, bringing negative thoughts to the conscious. Making you lose control over those negative thoughts, and giving them a manifestation.

Alcohol increases suicidal thoughts and leave you addicted to it later in life.

by -

Dr.Hemant Mittal (MBBS, DPM, MD(mindmantra))

(Psychiatrist, Motivational Writer and Counselor)

email – eksoch@gmail.com
website – www.mindmantra.in

clinic address- 15, shreeji plaza, next to ice n spice restaurant, opposite seawoods station, seawoods (east), Navi Mumbai

RESPONSIBILITY - THE FEAR OF DECISION MAKING

Tony came to visit me for "personality development tips". During our chat, his fear of taking responsibility constantly kept blocking any advise I would give him.

His mind was constantly puzzled, what if I make a mistake??

The need for perfection, the errors of the past or even the lack of self-confidence stop us from venturing into new pleasurable experiences.

Another common examples which I get to counsel are :

- lack of effective communication, makes many run away from a relationship and seek solace in someone else. Fear of being responsible for a break-up or fear of being responsible to speak the truth, many such tend to blame their partners for pushing them into seeking outside comfort.

- losing weight is so difficult - because taking responsibility of self is something everyone has millions of excuses for... you have become so comfortable enjoying food, that venturing into the unknown world of gyming or losing weight is "pain causing".

- At job, many people are scared of getting promotions beyond a level, because they fear decision making will tarnish their image.

Job, home, self, relationships... taking responsibility triggers unwanted stress which you run away by giving a lot of explanations to the self.

Common behavior patterns fear of responsibility introduces in your personality -

1. You become uncomfortable or restless when an important decision has to be taken.
2. You tend to apologize more than required. Even for things you are not involved in.
3. You keep forgiving people who are repeatedly making mistakes.. you avoid implementing discipline.
4. You take it as your duty to sacrifice yourself for others, and give yourself a lot of excuses for "pleasing" others.
5. When exposed to a sudden challenge your first reaction is of “Fright” and second is of "flight".. you look to run away from a situation.
6. You try to be in everyone’s good books. 
7. You constantly lose sleep, worrying about self and others.
8. Your mind is flooded with flashbacks of negative things others have done to you, and that for decision making it not rational.
9. You harbour guilt for not having acted in time. And feel everything is lost.
10. You compare your life with those who are inferior to you, just because you are envious with those superior to you.
11. You fear Meeting a senior or someone in a higher position.
12. You need a guide or someone who can take decision for you at all times.

what is the Mind Mantra for responsibility - IF IT HAS TO BE DONE, DO IT NOW.. FEAR MIGHT NEVER LEAVE YOU, BUT TILL YOU DON'T TAKE A PLUNGE INTO THE UNKNOWN YOU WILL JUST SPECULATE WHAT YOU NEED TO BATTLE.

written by -

Dr.Hemant Mittal (MBBS, DPM, MD(mindmantra))
(Psychiatrist, Motivational Writer and Counselor)

email – eksoch@gmail.com
website – www.mindmantra.in

clinic address- 15, shreeji plaza, next to ice n spice restaurant, opposite seawoods station, seawoods (east)
Navi Mumbai

Becoming aware of the Mind.

A few days ago I had the pleasure to give a lecture in the beautiful city of Nagpur... In most cases my work schedule pushes me to fly back home the very same day, but this time I stayed back and decided to explore the city and its nearby localities.

One of the places I got to visit was the Hindi Vishwavidyalaya (International Hindi University) at Wardha.

Located at a hill top, this beautiful and picturesque institute provided a perfectly silent environment for reconnecting with the self.

Marveled by the beauty around, I suddenly found that a young gardener, Ramu, looking at me with lot of amusement.

I asked him - "what are you looking at?"

Ramu - looking at you sir.

I asked him - why?

Ramu - So many "city people" like you come here every year... spend a few hours or days in our institute... you take photos and try to capture the beauty of this scenery... then finally smile and go back... forgetting this place even existed.


I queried - You are very right, so how does this effect you?

With a smile, he answered - I was wondering are you lucky or cursed?

Further amused, I ask - why lucky or cursed?

calmly sitting on the ground, plucking out weeds in the garden, he said - a few minutes of this silence and scenery gives you peace of mind... I was wondering are you "city people" so lucky that your stress is so less that a few minutes of this silence cures it... or are you so cursed, because your stress is so high that a few minutes of this silence is a quick momentary escape away from it...

... pausing to pluck some more weeds, he continued -

"...sir you might think I am just a gardener, but I observe people and understand... People who come from the city are always busy in their mind...

you know, this garden is beautiful because I give it so much love... every single plant is my child.. i love them all... I rejoice when one of them blossoms... I feel sad when one of them dies... but I never stop, I plant new ones and again give them more love..... our mind is also like this garden... but people have stopped loving it.. people have stopped working for it... they expect it will be beautiful without any work... they see the whole garden as one... never focus on the single flowers that make it..... and thats why they look at others for beauty rather than looking deep inside themself."


I was amazed, amused and surprised...  I had just been given a beautiful lesson in the power of self-awareness.

I spent another hour with my new "guru", who peacefully, openly and without expectations talked about a lot of things...

As I drove away, I knew probably i would never return here or see Ramu again... but i thanked him, as in his naive, innocent way he just gave a very powerful lesson on happiness.

written by -

Dr.Hemant Mittal (MBBS, DPM, MD(mindmantra))
(Psychiatrist, Motivational Writer and Counselor)

email – eksoch@gmail.com
website – www.mindmantra.in

clinic address- 15, shreeji plaza, next to ice n spice restaurant, opposite seawoods station, seawoods (east)
Navi Mumbai
 

Philophobia- Fear of falling in love or being in love.

causes -
a. highly independent personality
b. specific personality disorders
c. post traumatic stress disorder of having being emotionally cheated or emotionally abused in a prior love relationship.

effects -
a. fear of loving someone
b. fear of being in a relationship
c. might become best of friends or very close to an individual and as soon as the fear is triggered they will suddenly disappear.
d. highly uncomfortable in displaying their emotions.
e. reckless behavior - like promiscuity, indulgence addictions or publicly misbehaving with "close friend"  to prove they are not in love with someone.


treatment -
1. sensitization towards love -
a. rationalization - about one's own capacities to give love.
b. decrease expectations from those who are loved.
c. acceptance of feelings and acceptance of self.

2. medications to help decrease the unwanted fear.

3. counseling

by -

Dr.Hemant Mittal (MBBS, DPM, MD(mindmantra))
Psychiatrist and counselor
email - eksoch@gmail.com