People who are truly in love tend to get jealous even over stupid things.

In my psychiatric practice I have worked a lot with people facing problems of jealousy.
Most common myth is that  - "I’m jealous so doesn’t that prove I really love him/her."

Actually that's really wrong. Jealousy just proves you are insecure. And this insecurity gives rise to fear.

As a psychiatrist I have seen that Jealousy is an emotional and behavioural expression of one or more of following insecurities cropping your mind -

1. Afraid of being replaced by another person
or not being able to make place
or not being able to replace another person in the heart, mind and life of someone you find important.

2. You tend to go beyond your natural self and over-analyze situations based on insecurity.. making you feel jealous and angry.
Anger can come out in various destructive ways.

3. When you are jealous you’re usually in a state of not trusting your own self -
you don't trust your own attraction power,
you decrease your over all self worth,
your under estimate your ability to give love.

As an emotional reaction to this stress, you -
1. Try to over-compensate on fear and guilt of jealousy, you tend to show yourself as more loving, more giving and more forgiving.. when deep inside it might be against your natural self.

This over-compensation is looked upon as "better love" .. when in fact you are actually suppressing your true self.

2. You also tend to become more quiet, and decrease on communication.
Start lying, induce fights for no reason, and giving much more meaning to "situations and words" than they actually have.

Mind Mantra -  Jealousy might be an healthy indication of your love for someone, but it can become the base of something really destructive. A few things you should always keep in mind -

a. Talk as friend - Friendship is the essence of a relationship. Always communicate your jealousy with your partner in a non- dominant" or "non possessive" way.
don't expect for him/her to change for you.. expect them to listen to you.

b. Understand - your partner is not the same human being as you are... He/she has a completely different thought process.
If his/her intentions are not evil or negative, his/her actions might not be as dangerous as you see it.

c. Live and let live - give space to each other.
Real love never goes away.. it always stays in the heart...
always seek real love..

d. Work on Yourself - jealousy is a sign for you. Its time to remove those fears from deep inside your mind.
Its time to be confident about yourself.
Your life doesn't start or end with your partner.. Its starts and ends with you.
Love yourself... Like yourself..
You cannot be replace in anyone's heart, mind and life.
You don't need to replace someone.
You are unique.

You have a natural attraction power
you have a natural way of expressing love
you have a natural self worth..

Enjoy your natural self.. .Respect it.. and always be confident about it.

Thanks for reading, your queries are welcome @-

Dr.Hemant Mittal
(Psychiatrist,Motivational Writer/Speaker and Counselor)

email -
website -

personal consultation @-
address- Mind Mantra wellness clinic
Shop 15, shreeji plaza, next to ice n spice restaurant,
opposite seawoods station,
seawoods (east)
Navi Mumbai - 400706

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