How to make Love Last in a relationship.

Loving relationships take effort. Here are suggestions from the Best psychologists/psychiatrists in the world.

1. Manage conflict. -  All couples have conflict. But it’s how they deal with conflict that counts.
When a compromise doesn’t seem possible, the key is to manage conflict and fight fair. this includes -
a. Not hitting below the belt - using language or terms that are demeaning to their ego,
b. listening to your partner
c. speaking clearly and directly
d. work upon what is agreed - only few points will be agreed, but one has to stand up to them.. if you don't .. you can talk about all the trust in the world.. but your actions dont show trust..
so stop being a loud-mouth, and act on what you mean!!

the tough points are -
a. Resisting the urge to bring up prior events that may help you prove your point. b. Staying focused on the argument not escalating it.
c. you must work to understand each other... not try to explain to each other.
d. don't run away from a situation where your egos are clashing... its so easy to run, but you destroy the relationship completely.

2. Work on your foundation - Your interests, opinions and experiences can change as you grow - but love is always based on core value systems that never change.

if you have been in love for even a year, then your core value systems are the same... they are enough platform to build a strong relationship.
The problem starts when you start to work against that core value system..
Stop running away from your core value system, because it will make you miserable in the end... look into yourself, don't run away from it.. accept it.

3. Have fun. “Whether it is gardening, deep sea diving, or taking cooking lessons, all couples should have some activities that they enjoy doing with each other,”    

4. How was your day? - this is an essential question.. Ask your partner how his/her day was, and listen to them.
Everyone wants to jump and offer a solution, but listening is difficult.

5. Be clear about your needs.-  The best way to get your needs met is to communicate them clearly.
All those mushy facts about your partner being able to read your mind is stupidity.. communicate!!

6. Share your feelings with each other. - sharing is a very powerful psychological tool..
when you don't share with your partner and share with a third person, the subconscious mind sees that as "cheating".
So stop "psychologically cheating yourself and your partner"
sharing your feelings doesn't make you vulnerable but more loveable.

7. Carve out quality time. - For a moment just switch yourself off.. and spend some time with your partner.
nothing beats quality time.. without any interference.
even the slightest of interference can destroy the relationships.

sometimes just going to bed a little early, turning off the television, the mobile phone and holding hands can go a long way.

8. Have your own passions. “We are all multifaceted, complex creatures. Your partner will never be able to match all your needs and interests. It is OK to pursue some separate activities, either individually, or with friends, apart from your partner"

9. Perform nice acts daily.  “Show your partner that you care with small gestures,” such as a compliment. These seemingly small acts make a big difference.

Similarly, when your partner does something kind, let them know.

10. Dream together. “Knowing what you both want out of life and working together to make those dreams a reality will strengthen the bond”

11. Respect your differences. - Partners will always have differences. “The strongest couples manage their differences without becoming over-reactive, and without disengaging from each other.”
continuously pointing out each others differences or short-coming leads to a psychological vaccum.. which can easily be filled with a 3rd person, leading to complete destruction of the relationship.

its good to be different in a relationship... even as per the laws of nature... physics teaches us that opposite attract each other strongly while same charges repel each other when they come to close.
Rastogi said.

12. Embrace your partner’s individuality. - The idiosyncrasies we once fell in love with can frustrate us today.
But it’s important to let your partner be themselves.

13. Consider counseling.  - if you are having too much problems don't get a family or friend to counsel you.
bringing in the 3rd person is the biggest stupidity you can do, as it creates a greater rift between partners.
consult a professional.
don't wait till the end for the same to happen.

Ask me yours questions on -
email -
website -

or visit my wellness clinic @-
address- 15, shreeji plaza, next to ice n spice restaurant, opposite seawoods station, seawoods (east)
Navi Mumbai

Dr.Hemant Mittal
(Neuro-Psychiatrist, Mental Health and Sexual Health Healer,
Motivational Writer/Speaker and Counselor)

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