As a psychiatrist I get to meet tens of people daily. Many of them are running away from life.
A man's wife left him, he is miserable and turns all his attention to "work". He goes on falsely promoting that WORK IS ONLY DHARMA of life.
A woman couldn't find a suitable match for marriage, took so many rejections that she finally decided MARRIAGE IS USELESS...NO LONGER NEED FOR IT.
A man lost his job, has so many EMI's to pay.. tries to commit suicide, because he can only "predict" despair in his life.
People are just running away from life.
You change a city, you change your job, you change your lifestyle... just because you are afraid.
No one runs away from life when happy... No one seeks a change in city, job or lifestyle when happy.
So what is there in unhappiness that makes you run?
Many people say I am enjoying my life.. but I would want something more.
If you inquire into that something more, its not a simple "something more"... its a big mountain of anxiety and depression.
Every episode of Happiness has a life span.
You meet a friend of yours, you like spending time with him/her... once you go back home the happiness ends.
You buy a new cell phone, play with it for a few days... after it has fallen a few times, the happiness is gone.
You buy a new dress, get a lot of compliments on first day.. next time you wear it, you dont get compliments, the happiness is gone.
You join a new job, first few days everyone is good with you, you feel happy.. then slowly start feeling "negative" vibes.
Since happiness has a life span, our mind tries to indulge in those situations were you can get maximum happiness.
its a natural tendency of the human brain to seek production of dopamine.. happiness giving chemical.
Over a period of time, This slowly creates a pattern.
If your mental pattern says you are happy by watching a movie, you will feel happy only when you watch the movie.
If your mental pattern says you are happy by spending time with a special friend, you will feel happy only when you spend time with that friend.
If you feel a particular dress will make you look great, you will feel happy when you buy that dress.
If being with your wife makes you happy, with or without love, you will just want to be with her.
If your job pays your EMI's and makes you happy, you will feel happy.
When life presents you with something against your mental pattern, it creates unhappiness.
Your husband doesn't like you meeting a specific man, you feel claustrophobic.
Your boss gives preference to your co-worker, you feel frustrated.
Your relationship ends because she was cheating on you, you feel depressed.
Someone spills sauce on your favourite dress you feel angry and depressed.
Since our brain is accustomed to only seek happiness.. the presence of unhappiness is not acceptable.
Higher the degree of unhappiness, the worst we feel in that particular situation.
The flight reaction of the brain, triggers you too run away from the situation.
In your own way you stop fighting the situation, and slowly look at running away from it.
Running away makes them sad.. And non-adjustment to new situation, creates further depression.
There are another group of people who LOVE CHANGE. - These are the people who have been extremely criticised in their growing up years.
They become afraid of patterns.
They indulge into a mental pattern.. as soon as they become perfect in that pattern, their mind triggers subconscious anxiety, created by the presence of a deep seated unresolved childhood neurosis.
They suddenly withdraw themselves from that mental pattern and look too indulge into something new.
Indulgence in the moment, masks their deep seated sadness. This "lustful" indulgence eventually creates more subconscious sadness and anxiety.
They are more prone to keep running away all their life, trying to find peace.
They will indulge in many therapies to find long term peace of mind.
Until they don't comfort and help that scared child inside of them, they will always find themselves at the receiving end of sadness.
Thanks for reading, your queries are welcome @-
(Psychiatrist,Motivational Writer/Speaker and Counselor)
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