Yesterday reading through the newspaper, I came across the case of Santosh Walunj here in Navi Mumbai.
Police are searching for this man who has till latest reports conned nearly 25 women of lakhs of rupees after enticing them into relationships.
Santosh Walunj sweet talks women into falling in love with him, then dumps them after cheating them of their money and valuables
The victims confirmed that Santosh Walunj, 40, posed to be a real estate agent or as a powerful government official while luring the women.
as per the newspaper reports Walunj’s modus operandi was that of a classical manipulator:
1. identify lonely women and those who are unhappy in their marriages,
2. impress them during the first meeting by showing his "power". He would show himself as a big rich businessman, real estate agent or a goverment official.
3. over the next few days he would gain their trust by forcing the women to talk about their private and personal life.
He would make them vulnerable. And listen to their "sad story".
4. He would gain their trust by portraying himself as their saviour. Always showing off, that with him on their side, the women could fight anything or anyone in the world.
5. over the next few weeks he would work for the victim to start disliking her "husband/boyfriend".
He would slowly make them think negative about their partners.
6. He would gain trust by coming home and meeting the victims relatives. (friends/family).
7. slowly the woman would be spending her whole time thinking about him, talking to him or sending him messages.
8. when she was completely dependant on him, he would propose that they start a joint venture together or get married.
9. He would ask the lady for money to start the business, or he would "fake" a wrong business deal that required money payments immediately.
10. Once he knew there was no more money to be extracted, he turned abusive, before finally walking out on the women.
One of the victims who spoke to the media, quoted that - “I was on my way to meet a client when he bumped into me and asked me for directions,”
“He said he was a customs officer. After I gave him the directions, he asked me if he could have my mobile number. I first hesitated. But he looked like a gentleman and was very polite. So I didn’t see any harm in giving my number.”
Walunj then called her one day and they spoke for some time. Soon, they started talking several times during the day and were on their way to becoming good friends.
He then started visiting the woman, who lived alone, at her home. By August he had moved in with her.
“He promised to marry me and we were into a serious relationship"
“In September 2012, he said he needed money. When I hesitated, he hit me and forced me to sign a blank cheque and withdrew Rs3.5lakh from my account. He also took away my gold bangles worth Rs.20,000.
One day in March this year, he stopped coming home. When I tried calling him, his number was out of service. I haven’t seen him since.”
In the second case, Police said that he met a woman in her mid 30's.. forced her to separate from her husband..
Soon, they were seeing a lot of each other. Before long, he had moved into her Khoparkhairne flat. “Then one day, he told me he met with an accident and that the other car involved was that of a politician,” said the victim in her statement. “He said the politician threatened to have him killed if he did not pay Rs 4 lakh. I gave him the money.”
When she later asked about the money, he started beating her up. A few days later, he stopped coming home. And his mobile number was out-of-service.
“He would drive around in a Honda Accord and maintain a high profile,” said the woman. “He was a smooth talker. He would search internet profiles, and photos to get personal details. He would comment on FB photos and make one talk about old memories... sweetly he made them feel special. The same happened to me, too. He even convinced me to sell my flat for Rs 20 lakh. And he took away all that money right from under my nose.”
A third woman, also married, divorced her Dubai-based husband after Walunj came into her life. He met her at a social event and said he was a CID officer investigating a high-profile case. Once her divorce came through, they got married in a simple civil ceremony. Soon, he sold her car and belongings, saying he needed the money urgently. He even withdrew Rs 4 lakh from her account. And once he knew she had no more money left, he started torturing her. A few days later, he left her.
ITS NOT EASY TO IDENTIFY MANIPULATORS... EVERYONE CANNOT DO SO.
EVEN MANY COUNSELORS AND PSYCHIATRISTS FAIL TO SEE ONE WHEN HE/SHE IS IN FRONT OF YOU.
MANIPULATORS ARE THE PSYCHOLOGICAL SNAKES... THEY ARE SO BEAUTIFUL AND SILENT... ITS YOUR BLIND DEPENDENCY ON THEM THAT DESTROYS YOUR MIND-SET.
REMEMBER THEY WILL QUESTION YOU SO MUCH... AND FORCE YOU TO BRING OUT EMOTIONS THAT WILL MAKE YOU VULNERABLE.
THEY WILL PLAY WITH YOUR VULNERABILITY AND WILL MAKE YOU SPEAK ONLY THEIR LANGUAGE.
THEY WILL NEVER FORCE YOU TOO DO ANYTHING INITIALLY... BUT YOU WILL DESTROY ALL YOUR RELATIONSHIPS FOR THEM.. THEN SLOWLY THEY WILL FORCE YOU TOO ONLY DO THINGS ARE PER THEIR WANT AND WILL.
THE ONLY THING I CAN SAY, BE CAREFUL.. DON'T FALL FOR WORDS... LOOK FOR PROOFS ON THE AUTHENTICITY OF AN INDIVIDUAL.
Thanks for reading, your queries are welcome @-
(Psychiatrist,Motivational Writer/Speaker and Counselor)
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