The Corporate boom in India has been one of the biggest socio-economic driving factors over the last 10years.
However every boom, has a price..
It takes a look over the data available over the last few years, to notice the alarming rise in divorce rate among the sector.
The main causes for the same are -
1. The main cause is lack of physical proximity between partners -
a. physical presence to share thoughts and events of day is essential for a relationship - erratic working hours, work pressure, big travelling times, devoid many couples of this physical togetherness, creating a sense of loneliness, anger, irritation.
b. sexual dissatisfaction - long working hours, sedentary jobs, obesity, cigarette addiction, stress are all known to destroy the sexual self of an individual.
In relationships where couples already lack physical togetherness, not able to have satisfactory sexual relationships leads to further denting the idea of "marriage".
One has to understand that sex plays an essential part in creating togetherness specially in the first few years of marriage.
(couples try and compensate by spending the weekend together... but when the weekend also starts to get affected, it becomes difficult to handle)
2. Financial freedom
3. Lack of financial security - lack of a house or "desired" monthly income, creates insecurity and fights.
4. emotional and sexual proximity to office colleagues,
5. Lack of appreciation at home,
6. wife earning more than husband... or husband earning very less as per wife's expectations.
7. Long term commitment issues - Getting married without understanding the meaning of a long term commitment.
8. Adjustment issues - courtship period is very "rosy and happy".. post marriage one has to make a lot of personal, social and family adjustments. Making such adjustments might give rise to anxiety and anger.. leading to divorce.
The worrying problem is that a great majority of divorces are not by "mutual understanding"... There is a lot of emotional negativity that is exchanged between the "one in deep love" partners.
And even in majority of those which are through "mutual understanding", there is a lot of underlying negativity which is manifested through different ways.
This negativity is normally released in very "self-destructing" forms -
1. commonest is addictions - alcohol, nicotine, food, drugs and promiscuous sex.
2. clinical depression - which normally manifests as a sadness of mood, which comes along with mood swings.
3. decreased faith from the institution of marriage
4. decreased efforts put into constructing a long term marriage.
5. fight with parents, over age old indian belief of "one life one marriage".
6. higher level of criticism and grudges against people.
Today, couples do not try and work out the marriage as they are confident they can lead a life without each other as both are financially stable.
Every family members, judges, lawyers, priests and psychiatrists who has ever "counseled" someone seeking separation or divorce, has said that the need of the hour is to strike the right balance between work and family.
The really ironic part is that all these counselings sessions - push individuals to make big promises and changes which don't last more than 10-15days.. after that the situation is back to the old.
A friend once said that we are failing to follow our age old moral and religious codes.. because of which we are seeing this deterioration in family values...
I would say that today corporate work pressures don't give one time to think and act upon moral and religious codes.
Its illogical to ask someone to let go of his/her corporate work because it will create an inferiority complex.
and henceforth ironically the fight to find the middle path were work pressures, material desires, psychological needs and sexual wants are all satisfied is becoming more and more individual based.
by -
Dr.Hemant Mittal
(Psychiatrist and Counselor)
email – eksoch@gmail.com
website – www.mindmantra.in
address- 15, shreeji plaza, next to ice n spice restaurant, opposite seawoods station, seawoods (east)
Navi Mumbai
However every boom, has a price..
It takes a look over the data available over the last few years, to notice the alarming rise in divorce rate among the sector.
The main causes for the same are -
1. The main cause is lack of physical proximity between partners -
a. physical presence to share thoughts and events of day is essential for a relationship - erratic working hours, work pressure, big travelling times, devoid many couples of this physical togetherness, creating a sense of loneliness, anger, irritation.
b. sexual dissatisfaction - long working hours, sedentary jobs, obesity, cigarette addiction, stress are all known to destroy the sexual self of an individual.
In relationships where couples already lack physical togetherness, not able to have satisfactory sexual relationships leads to further denting the idea of "marriage".
One has to understand that sex plays an essential part in creating togetherness specially in the first few years of marriage.
(couples try and compensate by spending the weekend together... but when the weekend also starts to get affected, it becomes difficult to handle)
2. Financial freedom
3. Lack of financial security - lack of a house or "desired" monthly income, creates insecurity and fights.
4. emotional and sexual proximity to office colleagues,
5. Lack of appreciation at home,
6. wife earning more than husband... or husband earning very less as per wife's expectations.
7. Long term commitment issues - Getting married without understanding the meaning of a long term commitment.
8. Adjustment issues - courtship period is very "rosy and happy".. post marriage one has to make a lot of personal, social and family adjustments. Making such adjustments might give rise to anxiety and anger.. leading to divorce.
The worrying problem is that a great majority of divorces are not by "mutual understanding"... There is a lot of emotional negativity that is exchanged between the "one in deep love" partners.
And even in majority of those which are through "mutual understanding", there is a lot of underlying negativity which is manifested through different ways.
This negativity is normally released in very "self-destructing" forms -
1. commonest is addictions - alcohol, nicotine, food, drugs and promiscuous sex.
2. clinical depression - which normally manifests as a sadness of mood, which comes along with mood swings.
3. decreased faith from the institution of marriage
4. decreased efforts put into constructing a long term marriage.
5. fight with parents, over age old indian belief of "one life one marriage".
6. higher level of criticism and grudges against people.
Today, couples do not try and work out the marriage as they are confident they can lead a life without each other as both are financially stable.
Every family members, judges, lawyers, priests and psychiatrists who has ever "counseled" someone seeking separation or divorce, has said that the need of the hour is to strike the right balance between work and family.
The really ironic part is that all these counselings sessions - push individuals to make big promises and changes which don't last more than 10-15days.. after that the situation is back to the old.
A friend once said that we are failing to follow our age old moral and religious codes.. because of which we are seeing this deterioration in family values...
I would say that today corporate work pressures don't give one time to think and act upon moral and religious codes.
Its illogical to ask someone to let go of his/her corporate work because it will create an inferiority complex.
and henceforth ironically the fight to find the middle path were work pressures, material desires, psychological needs and sexual wants are all satisfied is becoming more and more individual based.
by -
Dr.Hemant Mittal
(Psychiatrist and Counselor)
email – eksoch@gmail.com
website – www.mindmantra.in
address- 15, shreeji plaza, next to ice n spice restaurant, opposite seawoods station, seawoods (east)
Navi Mumbai
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