It's almost a universal human nature that we all love to ask for the opinion of someone else before taking a decision. From small things like buying clothes, mobile phones or pens to more elaborate queries like buying a cars, house, investment plans, health problems etc... For each and everything we approach an "expert" or "consultant" to help us ease out the decision making process.
The ground rule of effective consultancy is to leave emotions aside and take a decision based on his knowledge, experience and sixth sense about that subject. I remember the famous dialogue from MunnaBhai MBBS, where the dean of the medical college tells 1st year students "I will never operate on my own relative because my hands would tremble with fear of committing a mistake". Similarly a good consultant can only give you objective analysis of a situation.
Unfortunately we live in a society where people love to call themselves "expert" based on just faulty incomplete knowledge with little or no experience and no sixth sense.
I recently attended a local singing competition. The 10yr old daughter of a friend of mine was participating. The judge was a young 24yr old guy who had stood 4th or 5th in one of the talent hunt shows. Apart from his starry attitude, I noticed how he resorted to using harsh negative words, tone and expressions for most children. It was really heart breaking for many of the kids, who seemed to have great raw talent but needed a psychological boost.
On a similar note, everyday in my consultancy I notice so many kids, adolescents and adults whose confidence has been broken by the harsh and negative words of their parents, teachers, friends, family or boss. Very loosely do people drop lines just to satisfy their anger, ego or need for superiority, without understanding their psychological effects.
I meet hundreds and thousands of people who are still battling the restlessness these negatives have left them with:
"You can never be a good student"
"You don't have a future"
"You don't have what it takes to be a good wife"
"You are the worst lover I have seen"
"You are ugly and completely weird, not cool enough to hang out with"
"You don't understand the meaning of love"
"You are a bad son"
"You cannot manage your own, how will you manage a family"
"You need to leave him/her as you are not good enough for them"
"You have got the best family still you are not able to adjust to the needs of it"
"You are not a team player, you are never going to rise in your career"
"You don't have any leadership skills, you are just a good worker"
These are some of the most common lines that people love to hit one another with.
Sometimes it's important to take a step back, believe in yourself and don't let these "fake-experts" demoralize you.
Imagine what would have been of the following if they believed and stuck by the "Free counseling" that "experts" gave them, based on emotional judging not practical judging:
The vice president of Columbia Pictures told this actor that he was never going to make it in the business. The actor? - Harrison Ford
His first book was rejected by 12 publishing houses and 16 agents. – John Grisham
A band was turned down by a recording company that said, “We don’t like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out” – The recording company was talking about The Beatles.
This person was told by his father that he would amount to nothing, and that he would be a disgrace to himself and his family. – Charles Darwin
This man was told by a music teacher, “As a composer he is hopeless.” – Beethoven
This visionary was fired from a newspaper because he “lacked imagination and had no original ideas” – Walt Disney
This author was told by publishers that “anthologies don’t sell” and that the book was “too positive.” The book was rejected a total of 140 times. The book? Chicken Soup for the Soul. It now has 65 different titles and has sold more than 80 million copies all over the world.
This young man was told by a teacher he was “too stupid to learn anything.” – Thomas Edison
He wasn’t able to speak until he was almost 4 years old, and his teachers said he would “never amount to much.” – Albert Einstein
This man did poorly in school and failed at running the family farm. – Isaac Newton
This person was cut from the high school basketball team, went home, locked himself in his room, and cried. – Michael Jordan
Producers told her she was “unattractive” and could not act. - Marilyn Monroe
This woman auditioned for All My Children and got rejected – Julia Roberts
This author received 30 rejections and he threw this book in the trash. Luckily his wife fished it out of the refuse and encouraged her husband to resubmit the manuscript. The book was Carrie – the author was Stephen King
Motivational Speaker - Mind-Body Healer
(MBBS, PG.DPM, M.D.(Mind Mantra Wellness Concepts - Mumbai))
(Specialize in Emotional, Behavioural, Sleep, Memory, Concentration and Sexual Health)
Contact at -
Email - firstname.lastname@example.org
Twitter - http://twitter.com/Hemant_MittaL