When will my child start taking Responsibility?

Everyday I feel humbled and honored at meeting so many new people who share their deepest life secrets with me.
Recently a unknown parent called me with a rather amazing offer. He wanted me to counsel a group of parents in an informal setting. Though apprehensive at the first, I accepted the assignment for sake of challenge.
There I was, on a Saturday evening, in a suburban Mumbai 14th floor flat, facing 5 couples whom among many other things shared the fear about the choices their children were making in life.

An amazing group of people, and I can say really well-read with the ultimate researches on parenthood.At a point I felt like having a debate with an entire library on Parenthood books. But as much as they had read about it.
As many "motivational lectures" they had attended regarding the same.
As many times they had been "counseled" by someone or the other"
They still struggled with the insecurity surrounding their childs career and relationship status.

Still in true "social" logic, they unanimously felt that all decisions regarding career and relationships needed to be based on "experience" to be successful. Frankly just another way of saying that "only the parents had the right to decide upon their child's professional and personal future?"

It didn't take too much to find out that the single question that kept haunting was "When will my child start taking responsibility?"

My answer to this question was based on 4 points. And even before I started I knew it would leave 9/10 amused.

1. Your child will never be responsible as long as you believe that responsibility is directly proportional to experience.
You will always have more experience than your child so will always consider you know more than him/her.

2. Your child will never be responsible as long as you believe that his failure is your failure.
You can only provide the means, if your child doesn't do the efforts he will fail. So why should you blame yourself and take the burden of his/her failure. Till he/she doesn't understand the meaning of failure on their own, they will never thrive for success.

3. Your child will never be responsible as long as you compare him to someone else.
You cannot compare apples with strawberries. Both are delicious in their own special way.

4. Your child will never be responsible as long as you give more and just "Expect" in return.
You always want to provide your child with much more than what you ever had. In the want of doing so, you just "Expect" him/her to do what you desire. You forget to create a system where we understands the value of what he/she is being provided with.

Dr.Hemant MittaL

Motivational Speaker - Mind-Body Healer
(MBBS, PG.DPM, M.D.(Mind Mantra Wellness Concepts - Mumbai))
(Specialize in Emotional, Behavioural, Sleep, Memory, Concentration and Sexual Health)
Contact at -
Email - eksoch@gmail.com
Facebook - http://www.facebook.com/home.php#!/mindmantra.in
Twitter - http://twitter.com/Hemant_MittaL  

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