Numb

Tony and Maria have been married for 6yrs.
One day Tony woke up and he found himself "emotionally numb".
Suddenly all the love for Maria was gone.
He sleeps with her, he walks with her, he laughs with her, he eats with her, he even thinks about her... but he is numb!!

He came to visit me after 2yrs of struggling with the same feeling.

A well built, serious 35yr old man, sitting in front of me... content with his life, but perplexed why he cannot feel anything for his partner.

Deep inside he just loved everything and everyone equally.

His visit to me, was more of finding a neutral person who he could tell, I am embarking in a new journey...
He didn't seek re-assurances... he didn't seek appreciation... He knew it was time to move ahead in life... And knew Maria had lost a great guy.. and maybe when she realized it, she would become very sad... But now he was just NUMB!!!

While talking over his problem he said -
" You know doc..
I'm tired of being what she and her friends wants me to be,
I may be so tough from the outside, but deep inside I have lost faith and patience in adjustments.

I wanted her to stand by me and for that I kept trying to full-fill her every expectations... A point came were I felt she was not the woman I had fallen in love with.

Thats when the only thing I could see is that she found only mistakes in everything I did.

One day, I woke up and my mind said its enough to walk in some others shoes... its time to be yourself.

Since then I am numb... I cannot feel her in my heart.
I have tried a lot..
I spend hours looking at our old photos and old memories with her.
I have created some new memories with her.
but deep inside I am numb.
As if she is just another woman lying next to me.

I listen and talk to her, but just cannot seem to relate to what she says.
All I want to do is be more me and less she.

I can see she is disappointed and struggling for happiness... but I am now numb.

I know that this numbness can be diagnosed under your medical terminology, and I know you can give me a medicine to get me out of it.

but I tell you this numbness is my friend now...
Because its the only one that accepts me for who I am!!!

I laugh, because the world judges.. and judges.. and judges.. but they cannot ever experience peace.. They are always looking for someone more to judge...

I am at peace"

written by -

Dr.Hemant Mittal (MBBS, DPM, MD(mindmantra))
(Psychiatrist, Motivational Writer and Counselor)

email – eksoch@gmail.com
website – www.mindmantra.in

clinic address- 15, shreeji plaza, next to ice n spice restaurant, opposite seawoods station, seawoods (east)
Navi Mumbai

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