The Myth - Love is freedom.

Many great philosophers have said that the purest form of Love is one were you and your partner are free.

There is individuality which leads to a great sense of bonding.

But does this type of love exist???

As a psychiatrist I would say NO!!!

I meet hundreds of couples yearly.. some who come to me for counseling, others who I meet unofficially.. and others who are within my friend circle.. all them have one thing in common - BOUNDARIES.

Boundaries make people secure. Boundaries make people happy.
By establishing them, you make an unsaid agreement.
Boundaries are a grown up version of the childhood play, when you and your best friend shared something which no one else knew about...
Its a secret way of reassuring each other.

Boundaries give a sense of ownership over your partner.

Boundaries have a certain flip side. -
when there is too much freedom in a relationship - boundaries are broken while taking the other person for granted. This eventually leads to a severe psychological deficit.
For example - A couple who share a great rapport and give each other a lot of freedom of expression, might land up messing up their relationship when a 3rd person comes in-between and flirts excessively with one of them.
The flirting will initially be discarded as rubbish.. but slowly slowly will be perceived as "cheating".

when there is more ego involved in a relationship - boundaries become smaller and stricter.. A point comes when they start to strangulate your psychological self.
For example - when one is suspicious of his/her partner. They will ask too many questions, follow them, try and confirm every movement..

Boundaries are important in a relationship.. But its important that the couple defines these boundaries properly.

Manipulators are psychological leeches who push one to break these boundaries... eventually creating a dependency on self.

by -

Dr.Hemant Mittal (MBBS, DPM, MD(mindmantra))
(Psychiatrist, Motivational Writer and Counselor)

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Twitter handle - @sai_ki_artist

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