Money is essential for Happiness.

All those who ever said that money cannot buy happiness surely didn't live in 2014.

Latest studies have found that one of the major reasons for visiting a psychiatrist or psychologist is inability to cope up with financial stress.

Its well known that psychiatric disorders like depression, OCD, anxiety and stress decrease the thinking capacity of an individual, making him more prone to take financially wrong decisions.

But its also been proved that financial stress puts excessive strain on the brain by increasing negative thought process which translates into sleep troubles, decreased concentration and poor memory power. This eventually leads to a person taking wrong professional and financial decisions.

Since generation of funds might not happen immediately a person needs to protect his brain from negative thoughts till it happens.

Understanding the urgency to help an individual battling financial stress, many multinational companies have in-house psychiatrists.
Low dose Medicines are started to help an employee battle concentration and memory problems due to excess negative thoughts.

written by -
Dr.Hemant Mittal (MBBS, DPM, MD(mindmantra))
(Psychiatrist, Motivational Writer and Counselor)

email – eksoch@gmail.com
website – www.mindmantra.in

clinic address- 15, shreeji plaza, next to ice n spice restaurant, opposite seawoods station, seawoods (east)
Navi Mumbai

(feel free to ask your questions/feedback through email)

Highway - Kill the Evil Within!!

I walked into the Movie theatre tired after a long day's work.. and I walked out with a smile.

"Highway" is probably one of the finest Hindi Movies I have seen in more than a decade.

Imtiaz Ali has done a wonderful and very well researched job in taking various psychiatric manifestations and amalgamating them into a beautiful story.

Sadly because of the Indian society's lack of understanding and "delusional fear" of psychiatry, this movie's fate is limited.

While most reviews on this movie focus on Stockholm Syndrome, The reason for me writing today about Highway, is because it opens the Pandora's Box to some of the most tabooed and dark sides of Indian Society -

1. Child Sexual Abuse
2. Post-traumatic Stress Disorder
3. The need to speak and revolt against social rules.

As a psychiatrist, these are 3 horrific emotional problems which I have been treating for years.

Year after year, I meet hundreds of men and women who have been abused as a child.

The pain that lingers in their mind is a horrendous tale which their relatives and the predators try to escape by using lame sentences like - "it will go away with time".

Its time the indian society opens and stands up!!
Its time to destroy that evil that is killing our children!!

- listen to your children
- Educate them against offensive sexual behaviors
- don't keep quiet to any sexual offence

- the scars of sexual offence, remain for years if not a lifetime.. don't let it destroy your child.

written by -

Dr.Hemant Mittal (MBBS, DPM, MD(mindmantra))
(Psychiatrist, Motivational Writer and Counselor)

email – eksoch@gmail.com
website – www.mindmantra.in

clinic address- 15, shreeji plaza, next to ice n spice restaurant, opposite seawoods station, seawoods (east)
Navi Mumbai

(feel free to ask your questions/feedback through email)

Personal Branding - How to present yourself !!

A few weeks ago the HR manager of a reputed company gives me a call and asks me to talk on "personal branding".

Being a psychiatrist the one thing I ain't too good is "corporate language". I'm a very direct person, hence I avoid corporates because of their "flowery" and many times "beating around the bush" attitude.

I decided to give it a skip, but within the next few days the Guy called me up again. He was for some reason determined to have me talk at his job place. (probably no one else wanted to talk to young management trainees)

Finally I decided to go ahead with the same. It was a wonderful, very motivated young crowd. Here are 5 simple things I shared with them -

1. Choice – Life is not always about choice.
Everyday I meet many people who are in professions they didn't choose.
Many are working in projects the boss allotted.
You have 2 options - make best of the choice you have been given or fight it out and follow your own choice.

Cribbing and cursing self and others for these choices will only make you and your work quality poor.

2. Let your Actor out – Real Life is not about honesty. You don't get paid for the work you do. You don't get promotions for the efforts you put in.
Everyday I treat people who go through extreme stress because of their boss not being "honest"
This will get you frustrated against boss and co-workers.
You need to be an actor. You need to know which emotion is effective where. You need to know how to suppress negative emotions.

3. Don't be a Yes-Man – The boss recognizes a YES-man from km's away. He wants such a man because it eases his work.
Unfortunately most Yes-Man don't get a proper due. They just are "powerful" till the boss is in power or till the boss likes them.

4. Advertising your deeds- If you walk an extra mile to complete work and keep your mouth shut, no one will ever care about you.
No one will understand your work, till you don't advertise yourself.
Don't be a loud mouth, but do put forth your work efforts.

5. Don't be fearful of the boss - India seems to have a very high "yes sir" attitude. People are scared and fearful to talk and discuss with the boss.
Remember your boss was once also a young trainee like you.
Keep your fear aside and talk.

by -

Dr.Hemant Mittal (MBBS, DPM, MD(mindmantra))
(Psychiatrist, Motivational Writer and Counselor)
email – eksoch@gmail.com
website – www.mindmantra.in

clinic address- 15, shreeji plaza, next to ice n spice restaurant, opposite seawoods station, seawoods (east)
Navi Mumbai
(feel free to ask your questions/feedback through email)

How to Cope with Job Loss?

Modern day social laws have been evolved in such a way, that a job becomes an essential part of an individuals social and personal identity.

Hence losing a job, suddenly makes one lose part of their identity.

The loss of identity is a very nasty feeling that introduces fear, vulnerability, anger, irritation and depression within the personality of an individual.


The psychological phases of job-loss?

As a psychiatrist, when I am counseling or medically treating someone with core issue of job loss the main issue is to identify which phase does one fall into.

1. Dynamic Phase – 0-6 months after a job loss.
With enough savings, this is the time when the mind is most excited to find a new job and erase the past.
The general approach of one's personality is very positive.

2. Phase of Doubt – Repeated failure to find a job introduces doubt.
The general approach is positive but doubtful.
Lethargy seems to over-take the mind, and even simple solutions might seem an up-hill task.

3. Panic – Decreasing saving, income loss, lack of opportunities… make the mind restless… The brain starts working overtime.
Negativity takes over the mind.
One starts to question self.
General approach becomes irritable, anger without reason.
Ready to do any job, even if it is a few levels than the last one.
Such cases Requires a proper plan and motivation.

4. Restlessness – When the savings are about to finish up, one starts to look for sources to borrow money.
Lack of income, decreased self-esteem, asking others for money, introduce 24hr restlessness.
The mind looses on memory, concentration, mood swings, addiction seeking behavior and escapism.
Need psychiatric medical care.

5. Clinical Depression - When you start waking up in the morning, with a feeling of disgust, fear, crying and disillusion.
Feel like running away from current life.

Suicidal thoughts cross the mind.
They require immediate emergency psychiatric medical treatment.


How to Cope with Job Loss?

Coping is an essential life skill that no one teaches You.

Many of my patients and in many of my workshops I have focused on some simple methods to cope with job loss.

1. Introspection – Most people I meet in the initial phases of a job-loss are too positive about themselves.. and those in the later stages are too negative.
They need to have vision about the road they want to follow in life.

2. Applying for jobs is an art – Many people specially in the first 2 psychological stages of a job-loss only apply for “excellent jobs” … they forget the “good jobs”… Take my advice Apply to all jobs!!!
Marginalizing your view-point towards the type of job can cost you dear.

3. Positivity – The difference between success and failure is having a source and centre of positivity in your life.
Your wife, your children, your own self, your house...it can be anything.. but has to be something that gives you continued positivity.

4. Be professional – If you find yourself spending most time battling the mind, its time to be professional about it.
Panic, anger, irritation, lack of concentration, memory, sadness, not preforming well in interviews means its time to consult a professional counselor/psychiatrist.

written by -

Dr.Hemant Mittal (MBBS, DPM, MD(mindmantra))
(Psychiatrist, Motivational Writer and Counselor)

email – eksoch@gmail.com
website – www.mindmantra.in
clinic address- 15, shreeji plaza, next to ice n spice restaurant, opposite seawoods station, seawoods (east)

Navi Mumbai
(feel free to ask your questions/feedback through email)

Fear a tough opponent.

fear is a a tough opponent.

It first creates self-doubt which can quickly spiral into questioning your decision and even questioning your dream.

It tries to convince you that you're not ready, you're not good enough, that no one will support your path, and that you're being ridiculous.

Fear has the power to destroy your happiness, peace and every chance of success.

Exam Tips

Day before Exam  - 

1. Pack your bag with the Hall Ticket, proper stationery, keep it in safe place.

2. Get proper Sleep - by trying to read that one extra topic you might actually forget 2.

sleep is essential.

3. Food - no fat or oily food. 

- high protein intake

- high fruit juices

- high water intake

4. Avoid Best of luck phone calls - they end up giving more stress than happiness.

5. Reading - force yourself to 5-10min every 2-3hrs. listen to a song, eat something or just lie down during this 10min.

On exam Day - 

1. reach exam hall 1hr before time.

2. Don't have heavy breakfast - had a light cornflakes, or break without butter, or some sprouts with a tea/coffee or milk.

3. Avoid last minute revision while going to the exam hall - will confuse your mind.
4. Avoid last minute discussions about the subject - will confuse you.

5. Wear light clothes - not wear fancy or uncomfortable dress.

6. Stay away from Social Networking sites
7. Joke with your friends, move away from those who seem extremely stressed or are crying about not having studied.

8. don't listen to your friends - most of them have studied but are just concealing their true self.

9. Do not carry chits, books,mobile to the exam hall

10 . Pray to God before starting the exams. 

If you don't believe in god, give yourself a positive affirmation.

While giving the Exams - 

1. Write your name and roll number properly. Check it twice. 

2. Read the entire question paper 2 times properly.

3. don't be in a hurry to solve it.

4. Take a break for a few seconds after every answer

5. Begin by answering the best question. 

6. concentrate at one answer at time.

7. If you go blank, take deep breaths and be quiet for a minute. it will come back to you.

8. Move to the next answer in case of difficulty. 

9. Cheating is done at your own risk. - only cheat if you are ready to face the consequences in case you are caught.

10. Do not discuss the answer paper once it is over

Feeling neglected - The moment your friends make plans right in front of you, and the plans don't include you.

Friendship is the most important bond after family. In many cases its even bigger than family.

The greatest bond in friendship is love... the greatest destroyer of friendship is possessiveness.

In a great majority of people, the statement "you are my friend" psychologically translates into "you'll be my friends only till you share everything, you do everything and you plan everything as per my expectations"

The moment your friend shows a little bit of "independence", does things you don't like or don't include you, your mind goes on the back-foot.. You start over-analysing.. even a small incident becomes a huge problem... You eventually end up denting and hurting the emotional bond of your friendship.

The "better" your friend, the more possessive you become.

Possessiveness when used to give care and nurture someone, can be as beautiful as a mothers love... and possessiveness when used to keep someone glued to you can be extremely intoxicating and deadly.

the greatest strength of every relationship lies in Freedom.... The saying is true - let them free, if they love you they will come back.. if they don't they never did.

But the disclaimer is that you have too let them free since day one of your relationship.. it doesn't mean you let them free only after you've strangulate the relationship with your possessiveness.

Learn to appreciate, love and accept each others individuality.

by -

Dr.Hemant Mittal (MBBS, DPM, MD(mindmantra))
(Psychiatrist, Motivational Writer and Counselor)
email – eksoch@gmail.com
website – www.mindmantra.in

clinic address- 15, shreeji plaza, next to ice n spice restaurant, opposite seawoods station, seawoods (east)
Navi Mumbai
(feel free to ask your questions/feedback through email)

Online Extra-marital affair.

Whenever someone talks about an “extra-marital affair” or “cheating in a relationship”, the thought automatically moves towards “sex.”.

People forget to look towards the a more common form of cheating - “emotional or psychological cheating”.

Cyber-cheating or Online extra-marital affair is a reality that's affecting millions of homes!!

Even with no physical contact, the emotional attachment produces the same chemical reactions in the brain, as while having sex with that individual.

Facebook, Messengers - whatsapp, BBM, wechat, are fuelling such relationships in every other living room.



The Denial Trap -

99% involved in "online relationships" deny it, for there is no "sex" involved.

Their obsession for the "online partner" slowly over-clouds their entire "real life" relationships.



Common Behavior Patterns -
1. Spending more than 2-3hours a day chatting or exchanging sms/messages with your “online friend.”

2. Throughout the day, your mind is preoccupied with thoughts about your ”online friend”.

3. If there is resistance from family, friends or spouse... the "online interaction" is kept secret.
Changing all your account passwords, creating new social networks/email accounts, concealing emails, changing his/her name on the blackberry messenger, etc.

4. High irritation or anger if your suddenly questioned about your online friend or online activity.

5. Restlessness if not heard from him/her within a few hours.
This restlessness calms only after contacting him/her.

6. Higher comfort level in sharing your thoughts with your online friend than your friends/partner.

7. Tunnel vision - Discount all negatives of your online friend. Become over-critical about your partner.

8. While having sex your mind flashes the desire of being with your “online friend” instead.

9. Sharing sensitive information like provocative photos, bank or other financial details, personal body details or professional secret details with your ”online friend” without having verified his/her credentials.

10. Constantly planning to arrange business meetings, conferences or visits to spend time alone with your ”online friend”.

11. Constant denying to any emotional attachment to your ”online friend”, while you still spend most time in the day thinking, talking or chating with him.


Reason -

Emotional Addiction to the “online friend” makes you emotionally numb to everyone else. Feeling irritation, critical or angry towards those who don't share your "vision" about him/her.

The brain becomes addicted to this "online friend", making it more and more difficult to detach from him and involve yourself in your real life.

Thanks for reading, your queries are welcome @-

Dr.Hemant Mittal
(Psychiatrist,Motivational Writer/Speaker and Counselor)
email – eksoch@gmail.com
website – http://mindmantra.in/services.html

personal consultation @-
address- Mind Mantra wellness clinic
Shop 15, shreeji plaza, next to ice n spice restaurant,
opposite seawoods station,
seawoods (east)
Navi Mumbai – 400706

Friends with someone you dream of romantically

Attempting to be friends with someone whom you dream of being romantically attracted/linked to may often cause insomnia, depression and low self worth.

Reason -

1. anger - it that person is dating someone else or is romantically interested in someone else you feel angry and helpless.

2. fear - not being able to open and say whats their in your heart out of the fear you may loose the friendship.

3. guilt - thinking of friendship in a romantic way, when the other person gives no "signals" of the same, you feel guilty of your way of thinking.

4. lack of attention - sadness from not getting that "special attention" from the said person, when you give him/her more than required attention.

5. sexual frustration - for fantasizing about sex with that person, but not being able to do it.

Mind Mantra - If you like someone, go and tell them.. If they deny it, you get the chance to move on and find someone better...

by -
Dr.Hemant Mittal (MBBS, DPM, MD(mindmantra))
(Psychiatrist, Motivational Writer and Counselor)

email – eksoch@gmail.com
website – www.mindmantra.in
clinic address- 15, shreeji plaza, next to ice n spice restaurant, opposite seawoods station, seawoods (east)
Navi Mumbai
(feel free to ask your questions/feedback through email)

IS PORN (sexual thoughts) YOUR ONLY AGENDA !!!

Sex is one of the most addictive behaviors.
Such is the addiction that those who suffer from the same loose sense of time, place and person just to enjoy it.

One tends to loose complete control, lustful thoughts completely grip the mind.

One is helpless. Even when they want to stop these thoughts and the subsequent indulgence in masturbation or sex, they are helpless.
Once the thoughts trigger, they are just compelled to satisfy themselves.

After the initial exposure in teenage, There is a gradual increase in time spent indulging in porn or sexual thoughts.

An alcoholic starts by getting a high in 1 peg of alcohol, then he slowly slowly increases it.. Then a point comes were he doesn't get the same high even in 1 bottle.

Similarly a porn addict starts with getting excitement after few minutes of porn... in a few years, he can spend hours watching the same.

In most cases, porn addicts indulge within the same only at night.
But slowly slowly they start doing it also in morning, afternoons.

Many cases people have lost their job because they have been caught indulging in the same.

Once the thought triggers, if they don't indulge they become irritable and extremely restless.
It tough to focus on the work and one feels like losing control of self until he doesn't indulge in the same.

Every woman, of any age, race or color, whether on the street, at work, in the movies or in his neighbourhood, can spark a fantasy in his head.

Celebrities like Michael Douglas, Bill Clinton, Tiger Woods and Charlie Sheen have been poster boys for this disorder.

MIND MANTRA -

Most people believe sex addicts are simply people who excessively crave sex.
THE TRUTH IS that the underlying problem normally ranges from anxiety and stress to depression.

Such is the nature of this addiction, that it clouds their thinking.. and They could end up risking everything their personal lives, social standing and job, in addition to the impending threat of HIV, AIDS and other sexually transmitted diseases.

There is an element of playing with danger since, despite being aware of the consequences, addicts return to the behaviour over and over again.

Hyper-sexual behaviour or sex addiction plays out in the same way as obsessive compulsive disorder and it happens due to abnormal levels of dopamine or serotonin (neurotransmitters that helps control the brains reward and pleasure centers, and feelings of well-being and happiness respectively).

There is a rampant increase in this syndrome due to the growing popularity and access to porn and commercialisation of sex in the media to challenges thrown up by a high-stress lifestyle.

Whats common is the addicts inability to stop what they are doing.
They are always pre-occupied, their brain keeps going back to it (sexual thoughts), often leading to loneliness, isolation, anger and intense shame.

Treatment
1. one-on-one counselling,
2. Being part of support groups
3. Medications from a qualified psychiatrist or sexologist.


written by -

Dr.Hemant Mittal (MBBS, DPM, MD(mindmantra))

(Psychiatrist, Motivational Writer and Counselor)

email – eksoch@gmail.com
website – www.mindmantra.in

clinic address- 15, shreeji plaza, next to ice n spice restaurant, opposite seawoods station, seawoods (east)
Navi Mumbai
(feel free to ask your questions/feedback through email)

What is Love?

Many have asked me what is the meaning of love.. Here are some points that will help you clear your mind. - 

Love

1. A decision to commit oneself to another and to work through conflicts instead of giving up.

2. Physical and emotional "chemistry" over a long period of time. (from few years to entire life span)

3. Their is an intrinsic desire to think about the other person first.
Help, care and commit to the well-being of the other person, even at the cost of your own.

This eventually leads to a sense of Intimacy, contentment and security.

4. Faithfulness, loyalty and confidence in self, your partner and your relationship.
Settling differences is more important than proving yourself better than other.

5. Genuine commitment towards your partner.
Mutual respect, love and admiration for each other, which translates into a sense of self-satisfaction.

True love is independent of sex. Sex is part of it, but isn't it.

6. A deep affection and contentment in seeing your partner succeed.
Doing all possible to help them become successful in whatever they do.

7. Healthy communication that has a perfect mix of expectations, selflessness and assertiveness.

8. Security and sense of peace in being close and along with your partner.

9. The feeling of togetherness deepens with time, the magic of real love is that this togetherness is not based on "dependency" or "blind following" your partner... but this togetherness gives rise to a beautiful sense of individuality wereby one is emotionally secure, psychologically and physically cared for, and above all motivated to greater self discovery.

10. True love has no place for cheating, infatuations or blind dependency on others.

11. Love is a gradual process. It takes time to cultivate and it grows slowly. It cannot happen over a few months or few days.
It takes years of hard work to come into its full form.

12. Purest form of Love is unconditional love.
There is no definition for love. Its just there.

Unconditional lover doesn't care about his/her partners money or social.
Unconditional lover doesn't care about his/her partners beauty or looks.
Unconditional lover doesn't want to flaunt your partner to make others jealous.
Unconditional love has no explanations and no boundaries..
Unconditional love has no expectations... Its just there.

by -

Dr.Hemant Mittal (MBBS, DPM, MD(mindmantra))
(Psychiatrist, Motivational Writer and Counselor)

email – eksoch@gmail.com
website – www.mindmantra.in

clinic address- 15, shreeji plaza, next to ice n spice restaurant, opposite seawoods station, seawoods (east)
Navi Mumbai

(feel free to ask your questions/feedback through email)

What is Infatuation?

- Infatuation is the state of being lost in emotions based on desires.

- Selfish uncontrollable desires.

- Short lived physical desire, crush, lust, hormonal activity, or addictive chemical reactions in the brain.
No deeper feeling.

- High intensity for sexual desire.

- High relationship anxiety with reckless fear of abandonment.

- Just Reckless need to satisfy one's lust.

- All-consuming euphoria similar to recreational drugs. Not able to analyse and see the deeper meanings of a relationship.

- Emptiness in the relationship as consequence of choices made under the influence of heighten temporary lust.

- Loss of ability to make rational evaluations of what is true, valuable and worthy.

- Cannot be sustained without need to be centre of attention and physical attraction.

- When Desire to be close to that person arise, nothing else is understood. And till the desire is not satisfied a person is filled with restlessness and anger.

- Feelings burns out quickly and can leave feelings of emptiness.

- Temporary memory and goes off after some period.

- Infatuation can become delusional. Not real love.

by-

Dr.Hemant Mittal
(Psychiatrist and Motivational Writer/Speaker)

eksoch@gmail.com
http://mindmantra.in/services.html

personal consultation-
address- Mind Mantra wellness clinic
Shop 15, shreeji plaza, next to ice n spice restaurant,
opposite seawoods station,
seawoods (east)
Navi Mumbai - 400706

Battling Office Stress

Every week I am contacted by many corporate workers who are facing stress and exhaustion due to increased work load.

Few tips -
1. Your boss will over-load you with work, you should know your limits.

2. Spend 1hr a day, detached from your mobile, your office, your work, your family.
In this 1hr do positive and health boosting things like - Reading, exercise, having a conversation on non-office related topics with your friends.

3. Avoid discussing office and work over drinks. - it will create a higher amount of negativity in your mind.

4. Spend quality time with your family.

5. Take a vacation every 2 months.

6. Avoid office politics.

7. Work smart - know were to cut corners, and where to bend the rules.

8. Don't be the boss's pet. - Yes sir/madam attitude will take you to stress-land.

9. If stress is affecting your sleep, your appetite, increasing your addictions - contact a counselor or psychiatrist. - For sharing your problems with a neutral person will help your mind free itself from stress.

- Dr.Hemant Mittal
(Psychiatrist, counselor and motivational writer)

email - eksoch@gmail.com

Psychiatry says -

Psychiatry says - sometimes you have to forget what's gone, appreciate what still remains, and look forward to what's coming next.

How to do it?
1. Appreciate for what you have lived through.
If it was beautiful - it was a gift of time for you.
If it was torturous - it was a test of time, that revealed your internal strength.


2. Love yourself for who you are today - for its a mixture of the past and the present.
You are unique, because only you have these experiences stored in your mind.


3. Give gratitude to a higher self for everything.
Don't criticize the bad - for it will only drive you too more negativity

Don't overhype the good - for it will only increase your expectations more.


4. Today is your canvas.. This moment is your enlightenment.
You don't need a planned life to be happy.
You don't need a busy life to be happy.
You need to recognize yourself in every moment.
You have power to do anything.. Impossible is a word created by fearful.
Your moment of enlightenment is to recognize you are much more than fear.

5. The future is not dark. The future is a possible dream.
Look at the future as a possible dream.
Dream and work hard to achieve it.

Recognize your traits... You do underestimate yourself. You might feel everyone is like you.. Thats not true -
a. you have experiences which they don't have.
b. your work is based on your experiences.
c. work hard, and when you are able to mix your abilities with your experiences you will have something no one else has.. and everyone else wants.

(thats what all successful people do)
Give away your fears today.

written by -

Dr.Hemant Mittal (MBBS, DPM, MD(mindmantra))
(Psychiatrist, Motivational Writer and Counselor)
email – eksoch@gmail.com
website – www.mindmantra.in
clinic address- 15, shreeji plaza, next to ice n spice restaurant, opposite seawoods station, seawoods (east)

Navi Mumbai
(feel free to ask your questions/feedback through email)

10 things You cannot change, but still complaint and crib about !!! - Self-Analysis

As a psychiatrist, I know that complaining helps vent out your negativity, but then there are many situations, where constant complaining leads to increased negativity.
Here are some of my observations -

1. Freebies -
Everyone likes to receive something free... and almost instantly you tend to find a flaw in it.
Many doctors, businessman and even corporate worker wait eagerly for "gifts".
Immediately after receiving them, they scrutinize it till they find a flaw.
This decreases their power of appreciation and directs the brain to analyse everything in a more negative way.


2. Lengthy waits in Traffic -
Everyone hates traffic. Everyone wants to reach home/work early.
Traffic brings a lot of negativity out.
A person will start abusing the govt., the system, other cars and bikes.. This increases irritation and anger.
While most people wrongly believe that this Irritation and anger is confined to just traffic, it actually is a trigger for its long term presence in your personality.

3. Extra-time at job.
If you don't enjoy your job, and see your job as a "necessary evil", spending more time at work is a punishment.
I remember a patient of mine who would spend 25hr on his computer every weekend, but even an extra hour at work made him so irritated that it came out as insults.


4. Weather.
You actually compliment the weather only once or twice every year.
Else you are always cribbing and complaining about it.
Nothing can be done about it, but you are teaching your mind to be negative. You are teaching it too hate the environment.


5. Facebook statuses.
Everyone like to read through Facebook Statuses.
You can call yourself "non-judgemental", but everytime you read an update there is a reaction in your mind.
You are your best judge.. You'll find that more than often its negative then positive.


6. Correcting grammatical errors.
Some people are obsessed with correcting grammatical errors.
Its an obnoxious waste of time.
The most successful people I have met are not grammatically correct, but make sure their point is understood by everyone.
Being grammatically perfect is just a sign of micro-controlling and signals towards perfectionism.


7. Mondays.
If Sunday is the most relaxed day, Monday is the most hated.
And the less you love your work, the more you hate Monday.
Many people get so stressed from Sunday evening, that they are sleep deprived on Monday mornings.


8. Waking up in the morning.
Not everyone body clock is the same.
But society doesn't know about "body clock".
Its a social norm to wake up early and reach work early.
Its said you should begin each day jumping for joy and ready for a new adventure, but most people wake up with the attitude of having to live through another day.
The more the depression in your mind, the more you hate mornings.


9. Getting Drunk and Hangovers.
People love to drink. Men or women they just love to have a drink.
But only a very few have control on their drinks.
Most people keep drinking till they are completely drunk.
The next morning you hate yourself for having drank so much.
You might feel embarrassed for things you did.
You might even promise yourself you'll control drinks.
But next time you will do it again.

Many patients tell me - I POISONED myself with alcohol so that I can vent out my negativity. I do it, so I can get some sympathy, but the next morning I feel pity for myself. I always end up saying things I would normally never say.


10. Taking Responsibility
This is probably the one thing that people hate the most.
I have had patients who have been running away from responsibility, and only wanted me to tell them - stop running!! take it!!
I have had patients who have been in depression because others performed responsibility better than them - I have had to motivate them to give it a try, maybe they have an hidden talent.
I have had patients who have been extremely jealous to the point of depression and anxiety because someone else completed his responsibility perfectly.

SELF-ANALYSE YOURSELF.. THERE IS SO MUCH NEGATIVITY YOU CAN LEAVE ASIDE, IF YOU JUST WANT TO..

YOU JUST NEED TO MICRO-MANAGE YOURSELF.

written by -

Dr.Hemant Mittal (MBBS, DPM, MD(mindmantra))
(Psychiatrist, Motivational Writer and Counselor)
email – eksoch@gmail.com
website – www.mindmantra.in
clinic address- 15, shreeji plaza, next to ice n spice restaurant, opposite seawoods station, seawoods (east)
Navi Mumbai
(feel free to ask your questions/feedback through email)

Personality disorder

What is a personality disorder (PD)?
Our 'personality' is the collection of ways that we think, feel and behave that makes us all individuals
A person's personality has different parts (or 'traits'), such as openness, sociability, confidence, impulsivity, introversion among many others. Most of these personality traits are present in everyone to some degree. It is the unique variation in degrees and combinations of personality traits that make us who we are.
Our personality develops from both our inherited genes and our life experiences, particularly in childhood.
Most of the time, our personality allows us to get on reasonably well with other people, but for some of us, this isn't true.
If you have a personality disorder. parts of your personality make it hard for you to live with yourself and/or other people.

You may have a personality disorder if you experience severe difficulties over a long period of time in several of these areas:
making or keeping relationships and friendships
getting on with people at work or with friends and family
keeping out of trouble
controlling your feelings or behaviour

You often feel unhappy or distressed and/or find that you upset or harm other people.
How common is PD?

Probably about 1 in 10 people has a PD, but many will not be severe.

Personality disorders tend to fall into three groups according to the aspect of personality which seems to cause the main problems:


Cluster A: 'Suspicious' - includes
You are suspicious of other people - you feel that they are being nasty to you.
You are sensitive to rejection and tend to hold grudges

Schizoid
You don't have strong emotions, don't like contact with other people and prefer your own company.
You have a rich fantasy world.

Schizotypal
You have odd ideas and difficulties with thinking. Other people see you as eccentric.
You may see or hear strange things.
Cluster B: 'Emotional and Impulsive' - includes

Antisocial
You don't care about the feelings of others, get easily frustrated, fight, commit crimes and find it hard to have close relationships.
You do things on the spur of the moment, don't feel guilty and don't learn from unpleasant experiences.

Borderline, or Emotionally Unstable
You do things without thinking, find it hard to control your emotions, and feel empty.
You feel bad about yourself and often self-harm.
You make relationships quickly, but easily lose them.
You often feel paranoid or depressed and, when, stressed, may hear noises or voices,

Histrionic
You over-dramatise events and tend to be self-centered.
Your emotions are strong, but change quickly.
You worry a lot about your appearance and crave excitement.

Narcissistic
You feel very important and dream of succes, power and status
You crave attention, tend to exploit others and ask for favours that you don't return.
Cluster C: 'Anxious' - includes

Obsessive-Compulsive (aka Anankastic)
You are perfectonist, worry about detail and are perhaps rigid.
You are cautious and find it hard to make decisions.
You have high moral standards, tend to judge other people and worry about doing the wrong thing.
You are sensitive to criticism and may have obessional thoughts and behaviours.

Avoidant or Anxious
You are very anxious and tense, you worry a lot, feel insecure and inferior.
You want to be liked and accepted, and are sensitive to criticism.

Dependent
You rely on others to make decisions for you and do what other want you to do.
You find it hard to cope with daily tasks, feel hopeless and incompetent , and easily feel abandoned by others.
Professional help

Psychologists and psychiatrists can help. You can learn to control aspects of your emotions and behaviour which cause these problems.

Our personalities tend to stay constant over a long period of time, so the treatment will often be long-term. The mainstay of treatment are talking therapies, of which there are different types, but drug treatments can also help.

Treatments include:


Individual Therapy

Counselling and dynamic psychotherapy, cognitive and behavioural therapy (CBT), cognitive analytical therapy (CAT), mentalisation-based therapy (MBT) and dialectical behaviour therapy (DBT).
Treatment in a therapeutic community

A place where you can attend (or sometimes stay) for several weeks or months, Most of the work is done in groups. You learn from being with other people in a unit. It differs from 'real life' in that any disagreements or upsets happen in a safe place. The staff and other patients help you get through such problems and learn from them.
Medications

It has been difficult to study the benefits of medications in personality disorder, which means evidence for their effects is limited. Most drug trials are based on borderline personality disorder.

Antipsychotic drugs can reduce the suspiciousness of the Cluster A disorders. They can also help with borderline disorder if people feel paranoid, or are hearing noises and voices.

Antidepressants can help with the mood and emotional difficulties of people with Cluster B disorders, for example in reducing aggressive, impulsive and self-harming behaviours. They can also reduce anxiety in Cluster C disorders.

Mood stabilisers such as lithium, carbamazepine and sodium valproate may also reduce impulsiveness and aggression.
How effective is treatment?

The evidence is weak because treatments are usually quite complicated, so it is hard to know what part actually worked. The studies are also usually small and rather too short, and the ways of measuring improvement are poor. However, there is growing evidence to show that symptoms of borderline personality disorder can improve and even resolve over time.

Fun fact about Psychology

Psychiatry’s Bible: The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual had 112 mental disorders outlined in the 1st issue. The latest issue now describes 374

Abraham Lincoln, the revered sixteenth President of the United States suffered from severe and incapacitating depressions that occasionally led to thoughts of suicide, as documented in numerous biographies by Carl Sandburg.

Virginia Woolf, a British novelist who wrote “To The Lighthouse” and “Orlando” experienced the mood swings of a bipolar disorder and spent feverish periods of writing and weeks immersed in gloom.

Eugene O’Neill, a famous playwright, author of “Long Day’s Journey Into Night” and “Ah, Wilderness!” suffered from clinical depression.

Ludwig van Beethoven, brilliant composer experienced bipolar disorder, as documented in “The Key to Genius/Maniac Depression and the Creative Life” by D. Jablow Hershman and Julian Lieb.

Vincent Van Gogh suffered from bipolar disorder.

The suicidal depression of Ernest Hemingway, a prize-winning novelist, is examined in the “True Gen: An Intimate Portrait of Ernest Hemingway by Those Who Knew Him” by Denis Brian.

Charles Dickens, one of the greatest authors in the English language, suffered from clinical depression.