Adult Tantrums

Tony was enjoying dinner with Maria at a restaurant in Mumbai.

The waiter took their order and disappeared into the crowd.

10 minutes into the wait, Tony became restless.. 20minutes into the wait Tony started muttering obscenities.

Maria tried to calm him down. She wanted him to focus on the good time they were having and to enjoy the process of fine dinning.

30 minutes into the wait, Tony couldn't take it.. He directly went to the manager and registered a complain.

The waiter re-surfaced 5 minutes later with their order. Tony yelled at top of his voice, "Are you a fashion model or a big celebrity, hope you have a great explanation for being late... because when I am paying 10 times your daily pay for a single meal, I hate to wait?"

People at other tables stared. Maria felt completely embarassed... 
she complained to Tony, "Its always the same, I hate it when you do that... A store manager, hotel attendant, waiter... it doesn't matter to you, you just shout and ruin every occasion... now eat this meal alone, i am least interested..."

Mental exhaustion is increasing in todays intellectual class. From the moment you wake up till the moment you sleep, the brain is working overtime. 
Stress about money, work, family, love life, sex life, commuting and how people are judging you dominates the mind.

What is a tantrum?
A temper tantrum can be defined as a sudden emotional and behavioral expression of anger.

This behavior may involve shouting, taunting, crying, screaming, physical violence and high levels of distress.

Its a ego-based mechanism used by the mind to release the excessive stress one is subjected to.

5 Common people/situations in which a Person throws Tantrums are - 
1. at lover/spouse
2. at people lower on the socio-economic cadre - attendants in stores, waiter, hotels, airports, office, etc.
3. in front of friends regarding behavior of teacher/senior/boss
4. people talking loudly on the cell phone.
5. served uncooked food.

Common reasons for throwing a tantrum - 
1. how physically and mentally tired an individual.
2. age - extreme of age (young adults and senior citizens) have lower threshold.
3. decreased glucose level in the blood - time since last meal.
4. The level of stress one is battling with.
5. Medical physical, mental, or emotional problems.

Why is a tantrum dangerous?
1. creates a negative attitude about you in front of people
2. can create rifts between relationships
3. loss of job 
4. you may be asked to leave a store, a restaurant or even the airport.
5. can get you into legal problems.

5 common ways of handling tantrums - 
1. get proper sleep.
2. eat something nutritive every 3-4hrs.
3. decrease stress by meditation or professional counseling.
4. get proper treatment for medical physical, mental or emotional problems.
5. accept you have a tantrum problem - confide in a friend, partner, or your spouse. Ask for their help. 
Whenever you can feel such anger coming, talk to them or sms them.

Most people with dangerous tantrums are in denial about how mad they get.
They try to use "rationalization" to run-away from accepting the truth. 
Remember - When you get angry, the emotional centre of the brain has a much greater influence than the part that governs conscious thinking. 
The angrier you become, the less aware you are of it.

Your friends, family and spouse are the best judge of your anger levels as they have to control you and also control the situation.

written by -

Dr.Hemant Mittal (MBBS, DPM, MD(mindmantra))
(Psychiatrist, Motivational Writer and Counselor)

online counseling - 
email – eksoch@gmail.com
website – www.mindmantra.in

clinic address- 15, shreeji plaza, next to ice n spice restaurant, opposite seawoods station, seawoods (east)
Navi Mumbai