"Tony is a parent who is extremely stressed because of his 17yr old son's behavior. He has been trying to handle it with all tactics, but its becoming increasing impossible over the last 2 years.
Tony knows how bad behaved his child is, but doesn't want to publicly accept it. As this would mean he has been a bad parent.
Over the last 2yrs, the child has become extremely angry, demanding, spiteful and argumentative.
Such is the condition that they have stopped taking him to social events, as they fear he of what he might say or do."
Tony is just one example of millions of parents who are trying to control a "bad behaved child".
A bad behavior is a sign of an underlying problem troubling the child. He/She is unable to express it, and parents are mostly "blinded" to see it.
Common mental patterns associated with a restless, hyperactive or confused mind -
1. Negativity - there is high negativity in the child's thought process. With minimal or no rationalization, the first thought regarding any issue is opposite and negative.
2. Defiance - defiance of the rules and regulations to be followed. Actions are purposefully meant to induce anger in the adults.
3. Disobedience - disobeying instructions given to him/her.
4. Hostility directed towards parents and/or authority figures
Common behavioral manifestations of the mental patterns within a "bad behaved" teenager or young adult. -
1. Throws tantrums
2. Sudden Mood Swings with extreme anger.
3. Highly argumentative with adults, even on insignificant things.
4. Refuse to comply with adult requests or rules
5. Annoy other people deliberately
6. Blames others for mistakes or misbehavior.
7. Unpredictable - Gets annoyed without any reason.
8. There is high level of anger and resentment against others.
9. Be spiteful or vindictive - doesn't forget acts against self, and is always vengenceful against acts as old as in early childhood.
10. Act aggressively toward peers
11. Have difficulty maintaining friendships
12. Have academic problems
13. Feel a lack of self-esteem
14. doesn't see his or her behavior as defiant. Instead, believe that parents demands are unreasonable.
15. indulgence in addictions like - alcohol, nicotine, psychotropic drugs.
The causes for such a "bad behavior" -
1. Genetic - transfer of aggressive traits from the parents or grand-parent.
2. Limitations or developmental delays in a child's ability to process thoughts and feelings.
3. Lack of supervision in childhood.
4. Rebellious attitude against extreme harsh discipline in childhood.
5. Abuse - physical or sexual
6. neglect of child - due to work or favortism towards other child.
7. biological cause - deficiency of brain chemicals like serotonin, disturbance in dopamine mechanism.
1. psychotherapy - counseling to handle emotions, thoughts and act in specific situations and with parents.
2. medications - to calm down the child and break his mental restlessness.
New age medicines are mostly less in side-effects.
3. Occupational therapy - to condition the mind.
4. Alternative therapies - Yoga, relaxation, exercising - that help channelize his/her extra energy and anger.
written by -
Dr.Hemant Mittal (MBBS, DPM, MD(mindmantra))
(Psychiatrist, Motivational Writer and Counselor)
email – firstname.lastname@example.org
website – www.mindmantra.in
clinic address- 15, shreeji plaza, next to ice n spice restaurant, opposite seawoods station, seawoods (east)